Neon Hearts
by Amour en Rayures
Summary: After Misa drags Mello to a rave, all he can think of is the redheaded DJ he saw there. They are from two different worlds, and he knows it's for the best to forget about him, but even so, he can't get the mysterious man out of his head. MelloxMatt. AU.
1. Chapter 1: The Rave

**Author's Note:** I've wanted to start this project for a long time now, and here it finally is!

Those of you who have read my work before know that just because something starts out rated T does not mean it will stay that way. I'm honestly not sure at this point if I will be changing the rating to M, but I am currently planning on it.

Also, each chapter will have two songs listed at the top. Music, specifically electronic music (techno, house, trance, dubstep, etc), is pretty important in this particular fanfic, so I wanted to provide some references. The idea is that one of the songs comes from Mello's iPod and the other comes from Matt's. Although Matt's music is actually more important to the plot, this story will be written entirely from Mello's perspective as opposed to switching between Matt and Mello like I normally do, so I felt that Mello deserved equal say in what music I chose. x)

Anyway, that's all for now. Please enjoy :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note or any of its characters. Also, I do not own Monster Energy drinks or anything else I might _ever_ mention in the future.

* * *

><p>Mello: Back Against the Wall by Cage the Elephant<br>Matt: Sandstorm by Darude

**Chapter 1: The Rave**

"What do you think?" Misa said, stepping around the corner and into view.

"…" Mello stared at the atrocity that she wanted him to wear that night. "Absolutely not."

"Why?" she whined, "It'll look good. I promise."

"No. You're pushing it, Misa. Be happy I'm even going."

"Just try it on. I'll shut up about it if you do," she said with a devious smile. _Yeah right, Misa. Like you'll ever shut up._

"Fine," he sighed. He sat the box of stuff he had been looking though on top of his suitcase and followed her down the hall to the bathroom.

"Kiyomi, stop hogging the bathroom," Misa yelled, pounding on the door.

"One minute. Calm down," came a voiced from behind the door.

_Dear God, what have I gotten myself into? Maybe living with these two wasn't the best idea._ Not that he had a better option. There was no way he was going to live at home a second longer than he had to, and it was better than being homeless. He would just have to keep reminding himself of that.

The door opened and a rather pissed off looking Takada stepped out. She glared at him and, without a word, continued down the hall and into the living room.

"It's nice to meet you too," he yelled back sarcastically in the direction she had disappeared. He knew that she was less than happy about him living with them. Misa had brought it up before but didn't seem all too concerned with it. For that matter, she didn't even seem to notice that anything was wrong. Maybe Takada was always like that.

"Here," she said, thrusting the clothes into his hands and pushing him into the bathroom, "I want to see what it looks like when you have it on."

He shut the door and looked it over. He didn't know why he was doing this. He couldn't have been there for more than ten minutes and Misa had already informed him that he was going to a rave that night and that she had taken it upon herself to get him something to wear for it. He may not know where he would be sleeping that night or where he was supposed to put his stuff, but that didn't seem to concern Misa. She had simply said, 'We'll figure it out' when he had called the night before from the hotel. He had no doubt that they would figure it out, but it would have made him feel better if he had known these things before he had gotten there.

He sighed and resigned himself to the task that lay before him: getting the mass of leather clothing onto his body. It took a great deal of work, a lot of wiggling and hopping around the bathroom to get the leather pants up, but he eventually managed. After zipping the leather vest up, he reached for the door knob but hesitated. He knew Misa was going to freak out and make a big deal of it.

He braced himself and pushed the door open only to be instantly greeted by Misa's squealing. He cringed slightly and waited for the annoying sound to stop.

"It looks so good! You _have_ to wear that tonight!"

"I look like a transvestite," he said flatly.

"No you don't," she scoffed, "You look hot. We won't be able to keep the boys off of you," she added with a wink.

"If anyone finds this attractive," he said motioning to what he was wearing, "I don't think I want them."

Misa rolled her eyes. "Whatever. You're wearing it. Besides, you don't have anything else appropriate to wear."

He looked at Misa a moment, trying to see if she was joking. It didn't appear that she was. "Appropriate? Really? You think _this_ is appropriate?" She must have lost her mind.

"Yes," she said simply. "What about your rosary?"

"What about it?"

"Where is it?" she asked, but rather than waiting for an answer, she pushed past him and picked it up from where he had put it on the edge of the sink. She placed it around his neck and stepped back to look at him, a smile coming to her lips. "There. Now you're ready." It felt weird, it being out in the open. Normally he wore it hidden under his shirt.

"Great," he said sarcastically, "When are we leaving?"

"A couple hours."

He tried to get past Misa to pick up the black skinny jeans and t-shirt he had been wearing, but she suddenly put her arms out, blocking his entrance. "You are not changing back," she said firmly.

"I know. There's no way in hell I'm going to go through the trouble to put these goddamn pants back on." He pushed her aside and grabbed his clothes, heading back out to the living room where the rest of his stuff currently was.

He tossed them on top of the box and laid down on the couch. He was exhausted. It had been a long three day drive from Ohio to California. And even though he had stopped both nights at a hotel, he hadn't gotten much sleep.

But even so, he was apparently going to a rave that night. If it had been anyone but Misa to suggest it, he would have probably taken the leather pants and shoved them down their throat. But it _had_ been Misa to suggest it…or well, more demand it, so he was going.

"Is _that_ what you're wearing tonight?" he heard Takada ask tauntingly. He turned to see her leaning in the doorway to the kitchen with a cup of tea in hand.

"I don't think I have a choice. What does she have you wearing?"

"Oh, I'm not going."

"What? Why don't you have to go?"

She shrugged. "I don't want to."

He sat up abruptly. "Misa!" he called angrily, storming through the apartment to her room. When he threw the door open, he found her laying out different outfits on the bed, evidently trying to decide what she should wear. "Why the fuck do I have to go, and Takada doesn't?" he asked, trying his best to stay calm.

"Because you're new to the city. I need to take you out to see the sights!"

"Bull shit."

"Okay, so Kiyomi said she would never go again after the first one I took her to. Please, Mello. I don't have anyone else to go with," she said, starting to plead.

"Fine. But this is the only time." He was tired, didn't like any sort of electronic music, and really didn't feel like spending his night dancing around with a bunch of drunken and/or high idiots, but he would go. After all, Misa was letting him live there so he did kind of owe her.

"Yay!" she exclaimed, jumping up and down a couple of times before she ran up to him, throwing her arms around him in a hug, "Thank you!" He couldn't believe she was a year older than him; she still acted so much like a kid sometimes.

"Yeah. Sure," he sighed. _I'm so going to regret this._

"Now, which one of these do you like better?" she asked, pointing to the three outfits she had laid out on her bed.

He looked at them. He honestly wasn't a fan of any of them. "That depends. How much of a whore do you want to look like?"

"Ha ha, you're so funny. Really, which one?"

"…I guess that one," he said pointing to the middle option. It looked the least slutty of the three.

"Okay, thanks. Now get out, I need to get changed."

"So if I don't leave, we won't have to go?"

"Don't be ridiculous. You know as well as I do that I'll change in front of you if I have to. Like it even matters."

"Right." He was about to leave when he remembered something. "Hey, where am I going to sleep?"

"Not in my room," he heard Takada yell from her room across the hall.

"Uh… Do you mind the couch?" Misa asked.

"The couch is fine," he said, shutting the door behind him and heading towards his new 'bedroom.' He kicked the box and his suitcase under the coffee table and took off one of the cushions to see if it was a pullout couch. It unfortunately wasn't.

He returned the cushion to its place and sat down, picking up the TV remote. He briefly considered taking a nap, but he didn't think there would be any way he would ever be able to sleep in those clothes. And it would probably take Misa forever to get ready; he might as well see if anything good was on.

He stopped on a movie he knew he had seen before but couldn't remember the name of, not that it mattered. He spent most of his time dreading going to the rave rather than actually watching it. That and hating Misa just a little bit.

She was like a sister to him, a sister that he really didn't want sometimes. Ever since he was in first grade and she had rescued him from those bullies, she had acted as his older sister. He still didn't know exactly what had made her help him; he had never even talked to her before as she was in second grade at the time and he didn't know anyone outside of his grade.

He would never forget that day and really did appreciate it, but sometimes she could be so annoying. Not that he could do anything about it. He would take annoying Misa over no Misa at all any day.

So he could never actually hate her. It really wasn't possible, not after everything they had done for each other over the years. Which was probably why he let her get away with way more than he would ever let anyone else. She had been his best friend since that day in first grade, and he would do anything for her. Not that he wanted her to know that; she would definitely use it to her advantage.

• • •

"Wake up," Misa said, shaking him awake. "Get off you lazy ass. It's time to go. And here," she said, thrusting an energy drink into his hand, "drink this." He stood up, rubbing at his eyes, and followed Misa out the door, opening the can of Monster and taking a gulp. In his still half asleep state, he ran into a well dressed man with shoulder length dark hair not even five steps out of the apartment.

"Sorry," he mumbled. The man looked at him once and continued down the hall to the apartment two doors down from theirs. In the elevator, he asked Misa who the man was.

"That's Mikami," she said, "He's kind of a creeper."

"What do you mean?"

"Well, it's just a theory, but I think he stalks Light."

He knew all about Light. He had spent many hours listening to Misa talk about Light the year before. How she liked him and how her roommate, Takada, was such a bitch because she wanted him too. Then when he had gotten together with some guy who went by L that had led to another week of Misa's ranting, but instead of her going on about how she hated L like she had done with Takada, it was about how cute she thought they were together. At first he had been surprised, but it had quickly made sense; Misa loved yaoi.

"Misa, I really don't want to hear any gossip right now," he said. He didn't want her to start babbling about something he really didn't care about and certainly not while he was still half asleep.

"Fine," she said as she stepped out of the elevator, sounding offended.

He sighed; if she was mad at him that would make the night much less tolerable. "Okay, go."

"Well, Mikami is _always_ hanging around Light and L's apartment," she started, holding the door open for him and stepping out into the apartment parking complex.

"So L and Light are living together now?"

"Yeah, they live in the apartment above us. And just a warning, they can get kind of loud at night." For a reason Mello didn't really understand, she sounded happy about this. "I don't know for sure, but I've heard that they're pretty kinky. Like, they use chains and handcuffs and stuff."

"Misa, please, I don't want to hear about this. Besides, how would you know that Mikami hangs out around their apartment?" he asked accusingly. How would she know that Mikami was up there all the time unless she was too?

"Don't give me that look. I have a friend who lives down the hall from them."

"Uh-huh. Sure."

"I do. I'll introduce you to him sometime. I think you would really like him," she said suggestively.

"I'm not interested in being set up with anyone," he said, sliding into Misa's car. An annoying side effect of Misa reading yaoi: she wanted to set her gay best friend up with every other guy she knew, on occasion, even if said guy was straight.

"Who said anything about setting you up with anyone?" Her voice sounded innocent enough, but Mello knew better.

"Just drive." _I should have known she wouldn't be able to go more than a couple hours without suggesting someone…_

"Oh, by the way, how did you bring your stuff on your motorcycle? I figured you would just send whatever you wanted to bring with you."

"I strapped it to the back. It was uncomfortable riding for so long like that, but I didn't have to pay to send it. It was a miracle it didn't fall off."

"Well, if you ever want to borrow the car, you can. Technically, it's Kiyomi's too, and I'm sure she would say that you can't, but she'll get over it."

"How did you even become friends with her? I agree with what you originally said about her. She's kind of a bitch." During all those times she had called him, she had never explained how they went from enemies to friends. He'd never bothered to ask before because he didn't want the hour long explanation he expected.

"Yeah, she kind of is, but she's not that bad once you get to know her. But after Light and L got together, we really didn't have anything to hate each other for, and we just sort of became friends. Then when the semester was over and we couldn't live in the dorms anymore, we decided to get an apartment and split the rent since neither of us was going home for the summer."

He still didn't fully understand but didn't care to ask for more details. He was about to prop his head up on his hand but then noticed something that made him stop. "Misa, why are my nails painted black?" he questioned, his voice dangerously quiet.

"Do you like it? I did it while you were asleep."

"What do you think? Of course I don't like it!"

"Calm down. Maybe you should go back to anger management," she said jokingly.

"Not funny, Misa." He hated people bringing that up. He would never forget it, but he still hated being reminded of it.

"Don't worry. It comes off."

"I know it comes off, but maybe next time you should ask someone before you do something to someone in their sleep," he grumbled.

"You mean I can't pierce your ears in your sleep? Darn," she said sarcastically.

Mello rolled his eyes. When Misa had left for college the year before, he had thought maybe the next time he saw her she would be a little more mature. Now that he was with her again, he doubted she would ever mature. "If you did that, I'd kill you," he said, trying unsuccessfully to pick the nail polish off.

"We're here," she said a few minutes later, making him look up from his nails.

"_This_ is it?" They were pulling up to what appeared to be an abandoned warehouse. In the daytime, it wouldn't have looked like anything special, but now that it was dark, cars were parked all around it on the crumbling parking lot and on the grass. He could feel the bass before he could actually hear the music.

"Yep." From that one word, he could hear the excitement in her voice. "Oh, and Mello," she said, fishing around the small bunny-shaped backpack she had brought with her, "don't drink anything in there, you don't know what could be in it, and if the cops come, we need to get out of here as soon as possible so try to stay close to me in case we have to leave quickly."

"Okay…" _More things that could make me regret going. Great._

"Here it is." She pulled out a small plastic baggy from the backpack and took out one of the white pills inside. She took his energy drink and swallowed the pill with some of it. "Want one?"

"What is it?"

"Ecstasy. It'll stop you from getting so tired."

"I'll pass," he said, finishing the energy drink. Even though Misa said she knew what it was, he doubted that she actually knew what was in it.

"You sure? We'll probably be staying till the end; the DJ playing tonight is really good."

"Really, it's fine."

She shrugged, returning the baggy to her backpack, and pulled out a couple packs of glow bracelets. After she had covered her wrists in the bracelets and convinced Mello to wear a glow stick around his neck, she deemed them ready.

He noticed two things when they first entered: the sheer number of people packed into the room and how loud the music was. He instantly felt out of place there, but followed Misa as she weaved her way through the crowd closer to the front of the room. He didn't know why they couldn't have stayed a little farther back. It wasn't that he didn't like loud music; it was that he didn't like loud _techno_ music, and the closer they got to the front, the louder it was.

As they got closer to the front, the DJ came into view. He sat on a small stage with his equipment. Mello could see that his hair was a dark red even in the low lighting. He wore goggles over his eyes and a striped shirt whose white stripes glowed under the black light.

Mello doubted if he would have even given the man a second look if he had seen him somewhere else, but there was something about the way that he acted, like he was completely in his element, that made him captivating to watch.

"You have a thing for the DJ?" Misa yelled to him. He turned to see her dancing next to him. Though she was no more than a foot away from him, he had barely heard her over the music.

"I- No," he said defensively.

"Yes you do. You should talk to him."

"…He looks busy."

"I don't mean now. When he's done."

"How long will that be?"

"He usually stays the entire night, but he might switch with a different DJ at some point."

So he waited, trying to enjoy the music though he didn't really know how he was supposed to dance to it. And looking at what other people were doing didn't really help; it looked more or less like flailing to him.

• • •

What seemed like an eternity later, Misa turned to him and yelled, "This is the last song."

"How do you know?" he asked, at that point skeptical that they would ever leave.

"He always plays 'Sandstorm' last."

He didn't know how people could still have energy after dancing like that for so long before remembering the little white pill Misa had taken. He was ready for it to be over, but the majority of the crowd seemed pretty excited for this particular song. To Mello, it didn't sound all that much different than the other songs that had been playing.

He was glad when the song ended; his legs felt like they were made of rubber and would collapse at any second. And it didn't help that the leather outfit Misa had insisted he wear was terribly hot. He didn't know if it was customary, but when the song was over, people started clapping. The DJ did an awkward little bow and started packing up.

"Now's your chance," Misa said, giving him a push in the direction of the stage. He walked forward, putting on a confident front though it felt like his legs were about to buckle. He was certain it had to have been from the hours of dancing—or trying to dance, as he supposed was more accurate—and not from the fact that he was slightly nervous.

He thought it odd; he was normally very confident about such things. But then again, he never normally talked to people like the redheaded DJ, people who went to raves and such. Well, except Misa, but she didn't count; he had known her since way before she had ever even considered going to a rave.

Mello was only a couple feet away when a girl rushed past him and climbed up on the stage. She ran up to the DJ and threw her arms around him, saying something to him that Mello couldn't hear before kissing him. Mello felt his heart drop. _Fuck. Of course he's straight…_

He turned around and saw that Misa was talking with some guy. He didn't care if her conversation was cut short; he grabbed her arm and started pulling her towards the exit. "Come on Misa, we're leaving."

"Wait, why? Did you talk to him?"

"No, he's straight. He has a girlfriend." He wished Misa would just shut up and walk a little faster. All he wanted was to get out of there.

"He could be bi," she said, her voice sounding hopeful.

"Doesn't matter. He has a girlfriend."

"Are you sure?" she asked, sounding confused.

"What the fuck kinda question is that? Yes, I'm sure!"

"Well, that's weird," she said seemingly to herself, or at least, he thought she said.

"What?"

"Huh? Nothing. Let's just go." Finally Misa had come up with something that made sense to him.


	2. Chapter 2: Neighbors

Matt: Alpha Centauri (Excision & Datsik Remix) by Noisia  
>Mello: The River (ft. M. Shadows &amp; Synyster Gates) by Good Charlotte<p>

**Chapter 2: Neighbors**

"Wake up!" Takada said, kicking the couch. He slowly opened his eyes to an annoyed looking brunette holding a bowl of cereal.

"Leave me alone," he groaned, laying his arm over his eyes. He hadn't been able to fall asleep last night once he and Misa had gotten home and had spent most of the night trying to find a way to get comfortable on a couch that wasn't quite long enough. He'd only gotten to sleep just as the sun was coming up, and now, the person he wanted to see least in the world was forcing him awake. Well, that wasn't entirely true. There were a few people who would have been worse, people who made Takada look like an angel. His mother, for one.

"I have to leave for work soon, and I want to watch the news. Now get up or-"

"Or what? I'd like to try to see you make me move. I could break you in half if I wanted," he mumbled. Mello wasn't extremely muscular, but he did work out pretty frequently. Although Takada was slightly bigger than Misa, he knew from experience how easily he could just pick her up and move her if she was getting hard to tolerate.

"Fine. I won't make you move," she said. She grabbed the remote off of the coffee table and turned the TV on, sitting down on Mello's stomach.

"What the hell are you doing? Get your boney ass off me!" he yelled, suddenly very awake.

"No, I don't think so," Takada said offhandedly, taking a bite of her cereal as she watched the news intently.

"Either get off, or I'll make you get off." Now that he was awake, no thanks to Takada, he was going to make her pay for disturbing him.

"Go for it." So he elbowed her off of him, sending her and the bowl of cereal to the floor with a shrill scream.

"I can't believe you! Look what you did!" she screeched, running to the kitchen and coming back with a roll of paper towels. She tried desperately to soak up the milk out of the carpeting.

"_I_ didn't do that. _You_ sat on me, and _you_ spilled your cereal on the floor. This isn't my fault," he said, rolling over to face the back of the couch. He was starting to get a headache, and Takada's screaming paired with the sun streaming in through the windows wasn't helping.

"Yes it is." Her voice sounded slightly muffled, like she was in another room, but he didn't care to turn around to see if she had actually left. Besides, his ears were ringing from the volume of the music the night before, so he figured it might have something to do with that. "So you can clean up the mess," she said and a bottle of something hit him in the back and fell to the floor.

He turned slightly to look over his shoulder, seeing that the bottle was carpet cleaner. He sighed and sat up, stretching before he resigned himself to cleaning the carpet. He had to pick his battles and fighting with Takada over who was going to clean the carpet on the second day of living with her didn't seem worth it.

"See, now is that so hard?" she said mockingly, returning with two slices of toast this time. "Good boy," she said as she ruffled his hair and sat down on the couch.

"I'm not a fucking dog," he said flatly and sprayed her with the carpet cleaner.

"How dare you!" she screeched, standing up over him, "It hasn't even been 24 hours since you moved in, and I already can't stand you! Get out!"

Mello felt his heart drop. _Shit. Now what am I going to do?_ Living with Misa and Takada might not have been an ideal situation, but it was the only option he had. He literally didn't have any place else to go.

"Why do people keep screaming?" Misa said, stepping into the room, her voice groggy. Mello turned to see Misa rubbing her eyes, standing at the entrance to the hallway in a slightly baggy black t-shirt that just barely covered her panties.

"He has to leave," Takada said, pointing at Mello.

"What? No he doesn't. I told him he could live here," she said, walking past Takada and taking the second piece of toast and the plate with it right out of Takada's hand before sitting down on the couch. She grabbed the TV remote and changed the channel. "I know you want to be a newscaster, Kiyomi, but how can you watch this stuff? It's so _boring_."

Takada, clearly still furious, stormed past both of them and only stopped to tug her shoes on and yell back "I'm going to work." She slammed the door behind herself, and her loud steps could still be heard from inside the apartment.

"What did you do to piss her off?" Misa asked, biting into the toast.

"I moved in," he replied, wiping at the carpeting.

"Yeah, I know that, but I mean today."

"She acted like I stole her couch. I thought she knew that's where I was going to be sleeping."

"She does. Kiyomi just likes to have things her way. She's a little OCD."

"Yeah, I got that," he said. Deciding that the carpet was good enough, he took the paper towels and carpet cleaner back into the kitchen. "Hey, Misa," he called out, "Where am I supposed to put this stuff?"

"Just leave the paper towels on the counter and the carpet cleaner goes under the sink. And Mello, while you're in there, wanna make me breakfast?"

He sighed. _What am I, the servant? First I clean the carpet, now Misa wants me to make her breakfast? _But he was hungry too, so he might as well.

He opened the refrigerator door and was greeted by nearly empty shelves. A carton of milk, a couple slices of American cheese, an almost empty bottle ketchup, and Italian dressing were the only things he could find. He abandoned the fridge for the cupboards. Takada had had cereal and toast so they had to have some food somewhere.

The cupboards, however, where in almost as bad of state as the refrigerator, but he did find two boxes of cereal. "Reese's Puffs or All Bran?" he asked Misa.

"Reese's Puffs. That All Bran crap is Kiyomi's. She's into that gross healthy stuff." _Good, then maybe she'll have enough common sense to actually buy some food._

He returned a minute later with two bowls of Reese's Puffs and sat down next to Misa on the couch. "Thanks," Misa said, taking one of the bowls, "And don't worry about what Kiyomi said. She's just really temperamental. Kinda like you," she added with a cheeky grin.

"Yeah, and she's kind of bitchy, like _you_," he retorted, elbowing Misa in the ribs. He wasn't in the mood for Misa's shenanigans that morning. Between being woken up way too early and the fact that he couldn't hear right because of that stupid rave didn't have him in the best mood. And with the ringing in his ears serving as a constant reminder of the rave, he kept thinking back to his failure. He hadn't even been able to _talk _to the DJ.

"I'm not a bitch," she said, feigning offense. "And you shouldn't take your frustrations out on other people. It's not nice," she added playfully.

"Whatever." He didn't know why he was so fixated on the DJ, but he couldn't take his mind off of him. Seeing him with that girl was a much bigger disappointment than he thought it should have been. He didn't even know him after all; it shouldn't have mattered to him.

"Wow, seriously, why are you in such a bad mood?" she questioned. He ignored her and continued eating his cereal. He didn't want to talk to her about it. "It's because you were _rejected_ last night, isn't it?" she said, sounding way too happy about it.

"…No."

"Yes it is! Poor Mel-Mel's sad because he couldn't get a date with the DJ," she teased, a huge grin spreading across her face.

"Misa, just shut up, okay?" He shoved another bite of the cereal into his mouth, wishing it would disappear faster so he could get out of there.

"Misa doesn't want to shut up. Misa wants to make fun of her best friend." He rolled his eyes at her. He knew her too well to think that she would ever give up on this. "Mel-Mel needs a hug doesn't he?" she said, sitting her bowl on the coffee table and leaning over to wrap her arms around Mello.

"Misa, you can let go. I'm fine. And I wasn't rejected; I didn't even talk to him." That wasn't being rejected after all, though he didn't know which was worse…

"That's even worse! You must feel terrible!" she said, tightening her hold on him. Apparently Misa had made the decision for him.

"Really, I don't need this," he grumbled.

"Yes you do. Look at that frown. Misa needs to make Mel-Mel laugh," she said with a devious smile.

"No, Misa. Don't-" he said, trying to get up, but it was too late. He was barely able to set his bowl down on the coffee table next to Misa's, avoiding another mess, before Misa started tickling him, and he collapsed back down onto the couch, laughing hysterically. Mello could bench-press Misa if he wanted to, but once she started tickling him, he was defenseless.

"Misa, stop!" he managed to get out, and to his surprise, she actually did. "And stop calling me Mel-Mel!"

"Fine. Be a mister grumpy pants if you want. See if I care," she said, finally backing off and crossing her arms over her chest. _And she calls __**me**__ temperamental._

"I'm sorry," he said halfheartedly, "but I'm not going to talk about this with you. There's nothing to talk about."

"So then if he didn't have a girlfriend, you would have asked him out?"

"Misa, I'm not sure what I would have done, but it doesn't matter," he said, heading into the kitchen. He put his bowl in the sink and went back into the living room to get some clothes out of his suitcase.

"Well, what if he broke up with his girlfriend?"

"Just drop it, okay? Nothing is going to happen between us. Why does this matter so much to you? I don't even know him," he said to Misa, though as the words left his mouth, he felt that he should be asking himself the same thing. "We're not going to talk about this anymore, okay?"

"But-"

"No, I don't want to hear anything else about this, Misa. Besides, I'm going out," he said, heading for the bathroom.

"Where are you going?"

"Running," he said, locking the door behind him. He had taken up running every morning back when he was in anger management. Exercise had been suggested to him as a way to alleviate stress by the group's counselor. He was reluctant to do it at first; he didn't want their advice. Just because he had punched his high school chemistry teacher in the face and broke his nose did not mean that he had an anger problem. It meant that the guy was a close-minded dickhead who deserved to have his nose broken for calling him a fag. End of story.

But when his high school counselor had called his mother in for a conference, he had known that it was far from over. They had let him tell his side of the story, but it didn't seem to matter; they still deemed him in need of anger management. He knew he shouldn't have expected anything less. Of course his mother wouldn't have sided with him, and why should he expect the counselor to take his side of the story over a teacher's, especially when his teacher had claimed that Mello had attacked him unprovoked?

So he had gone to the meetings every other Thursday night. The first few times, he had refused to even give his name, but after listening to other people in the group talk, he had eventually decided to give it a try himself. It couldn't hurt after all.

On the contrary, he found that it did actually help. He had tried to talk to Misa about such things before, and though she had been sympathetic, she really had no way of understanding exactly how he felt. When she was angry, she would pout about it and then forget it had happened; it was difficult for someone with such a carefree attitude to empathize with his actions.

But even so, he refused to believe he had an anger problem, still did in fact. He had always known that he had a temper, but that didn't mean that he had a problem. Yet he found that the advice he received at those meetings helped him, and two years later, he still ran every morning.

Well, he hadn't in the last three days, but that was only because he had spent those days driving out to California. Taking three days off had him worried though; when he skipped even one day, it made it harder to keep up the pace he normally did. _Whatever. It still won't be as bad as staying here and having this conversation with Misa._

He brushed his teeth, washed his face, got changed into his work-out clothes, and put his hair up in a ponytail before hesitantly reemerging from the bathroom. He really hoped that Misa wouldn't try to get in anymore questions before he left.

"So Mello-" he heard the second he stepped back out into the living room.

"No, Misa. Not now," he said, digging through his suitcase for his iPod, a red Nano that was a couple years old but still worked fine.

"But-"

"No. I'm leaving. Bye," he said, grabbing his cell phone off the coffee table before going out the door. He wasn't going to give her the opportunity to ask him anymore questions.

He took the stairs, counting that as his warm-up. By the time he was to the main floor, he had his music blasting into his ears.

He tried to concentrate on the music, but his thoughts kept finding their way back to his situation. When Misa had offered to let him live in her apartment, he had jumped at the opportunity; anything was better than living at home with his mother. He had pooled all of his money together for the move. Gas had been expensive, but since he had been planning on moving out as soon as he graduated basically since he had started high school, he still had a significant amount left over. So when Misa had brought up moving in with her, it had seemed perfect.

Of course, that was when he hadn't seen her in months, not since she had come home for Christmas break. But the second he had walked in the door, he realized that it wasn't going to be as perfect as he had originally thought.

Not that there was a better option. This way, he only had to pay one third of the rent, and Misa had even said that he didn't have to pay the first month if he didn't have the money. Besides, UCLA had offered him a scholarship, so he had decided he would be moving to California anyway.

After not seeing Misa in such a long time, he had thought that going to the same university as her would be great. He figured it would be like high school had been; they weren't likely to have any classes together, but they would see each other all the time. She was in UCLA's School of Theater, Film, and Television, and though he didn't know what exactly he wanted to do yet, he knew he wouldn't be anything like that. Which was probably for the better; Takada was in the same program, and he really didn't care to see her anymore than he had to.

And in all honesty, it wasn't Misa who was making him reconsider his decision to move in; it was Takada. He could deal with Misa, and although he had never had to live with her before, he thought that he could handle it. But Takada was a different story. He didn't care if she was perpetually in a bad mood; that was no reason for her to hate him.

Then again, she had told him to leave. Maybe if he didn't, she would eventually get so fed up with him that she would move out. It was unlikely, but he could hope.

Especially since he had already decided that he wasn't going to live in the dorms. It wasn't required that freshmen live on campus at UCLA as it was at a lot of the other universities he had looked at, and since it was actually cheaper for him to pay a third of the rent for the apartment than it was for room and board, he had decided to go with the apartment. However, that was before he had met Takada. The idea of living with her for a full year had him a little worried.

He stopped running abruptly, looking at the surrounding area. He had no idea where he was. When he went running, he didn't like to stop for red lights, so he would just turn a corner rather than waiting. It was never a problem when he had been in an area he was familiar with, but now that he couldn't even recognize the street names, it had suddenly become a problem.

He stood there on the sidewalk, trying to remember which way he had gone, but he just couldn't. _Second day I'm here, and I'm lost. Of course this would happen to me._

He dug his cell phone out of his pocket, glad that he had brought it with him, and called Misa. "Decide you want to talk after all?" he heard after only one ring.

"No I, uh, need you to do me a favor," he said reluctantly.

"Okay, what?"

"I need you to come pick me up. I'm…lost." A fit of laughter erupted from the phone, forcing him to move it away from his ear. It died down in a minute, and he returned the phone to his ear.

"Are you done?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure. So where are you?"

"Uh, corner of Broxton and Weyburn," he said, looking up at the street signs, "There's a California Pizza Kitchen right here and a Starbucks across the street."

"Okay, I know where that's at. Stay there, and I'll be there in a minute. Bye."

"Bye," he replied and hung up the phone. No matter how annoying Misa was at times, he could always count on her.

Fifteen minutes later Misa pulled up in front of the California Pizza Kitchen in her silver SUV. "Hurry up, and get in," she commanded. He did so, and she pulled away.

"What happened to 'I'll be there in a minute'?"

"Traffic is terrible, always is. So how did you end up all the way over here?" she asked him conversationally.

"I don't know. I ran," he said flatly. By the tone of Misa's voice it sounded as if she might have an ulterior motive for asking.

"You weren't, I don't know, looking for the Best Buy down the road?"

"No, why would I be looking for a Best Buy?" He did need to buy a laptop before he started college, but he couldn't understand why Misa would think that he would get one while he was out running.

"No reason."

"Right. Of course." Maybe he would have to check out the Best Buy so that he could figure out what exactly Misa was talking about.

"So then how did you end up out in front of that pizza place?"

"I told you. I was running, and I got lost. I wasn't looking for anything, I didn't have any reason why I stopped in that particular spot, I was just out running."

"Okay, okay, you don't have to get all defensive. But if that really is the case, you do know our apartment building has a Fitness Center. You'll be less likely to get lost running on a treadmill in there."

"Yeah, maybe." He preferred to run outside, but it would probably be easier to run on a treadmill than to have to call Misa every time he was done and wanted to go back to the apartment. Besides, the sidewalks there were a lot more crowded than he was used to, and it was annoying to have to weave through all the people.

"So I talked to my friend who lives on the floor above us while you were gone – you know, the one you thought I had made up? – and he said he wants to meet you," she said nonchalantly.

He gave her a look that he hoped conveyed his annoyance, but of course she pretended to not see it. "I told you I don't want you to set me up with anyone."

"I'm not trying to set you up with him. I texted him to see if I could get something back that I let him borrow, and we started talking. I was telling him that you moved in, and he said we should all hang out. You know, like me, him, Kiyomi, and you. That's not a date."

"Alright…" he said as they pulled into the parking garage although he was still skeptical.

"So you'll do it?"

"I guess." He really hoped he wouldn't regret agreeing to this.

"Great because I already told him you would," she said as they got out of the car.

"Well then thanks for verifying it with me," he said sarcastically. He held the door to the main floor open for Misa, and she walked in.

"Oh! Hey, Matt! Leaving for work?" he heard Misa say. He stepped through the door and was face to face with the redheaded DJ from the rave. He looked practically the same as he had the night before, goggles and all. When Mello had seen him last night, he had figured the goggles were just something he donned for the rave.

"No, I don't have to work today. Just thought I'd try to get some stuff done that I've been putting off," he said with a shrug.

"By the way, this is Mello," Misa said when it appeared that Matt had noticed him.

"I've heard a lot about you," Matt said, holding his hand out, "It's nice to finally meet you. I'm Matt, by the way."

"Mello," he replied, shaking Matt's hand. He really hoped his palm wasn't as sweaty as the rest of him. Thinking about it, he could feel himself start to blush. He was all sweaty from running, his hair probably looked terrible, and now he was blushing like an idiot; this was an awful way to meet the man he had almost asked out.

"Well, I'll see you guys around then," he said, leaving out the door they had just came in.

"Bye!" Misa called out to him, raising her hand in a wave.

"You know him?" he demanded the second the door had shut, "Never mind. He lives in the same building as us? And you didn't think that was something you should tell me?"

"You didn't ask," Misa shrugged.

"Should I really have to ask that?" he asked, exasperated, "So then is he-"

"The friend I was talking about? The very same," Misa said, looking very pleased with herself. She pushed the 'up' button for the elevator, standing there with a grin on her face.

"You know, I think I'll just take the stairs."

"But we live on the sixth floor!" she said, surprised.

"Not everyone is as lazy as you are, Misa," he said, walking to the stairwell. Although going up five flights of stairs would be worse than going down them, especially after running for the first time in three days, it was better than sharing an elevator with Misa. He couldn't believe she hadn't told him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I just want to say that I am so sorry it took me two weeks to post this. My original plan was to post one chapter a week like I normally do, but now I'm not sure if I'll be able to do that. I'm still going to try, but I really don't think I'll be able to get the next chapter out by next week, so maybe it will have to be every other week? Which is really disappointing, but 'Cinders in the Ashtray' is my primary writing project at the moment, so posting one chapter per week of that takes precedence.

By the way, in case anyone was wondering, the Starbucks and California Pizza Kitchen I talked about do exist, and they are actually at the intersection of Broxton and Weyburn. Yes, I actually do try to make sure what I write is correct before posting :)

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>Midnightkisses10, death2society, Rebecca, SyC0bEaR, Fluffy, Aim-For-The-Head


	3. Chapter 3: Unexpected

**Author's Note:** This chapter includes my attempts at trying to write dialogue with an accent. Just thought I should warn everyone so you aren't confused about some…odd spellings. And also, anything that contains the letter combination "ah" is supposed to have the sound of the "ah" you say at the doctor's, never the sound at the beginning of the word "apple."

If you have never heard a Boston accent or aren't really that familiar with it, it may help to look it up on youtube or something so you know how it's supposed to sound. I hope the way I wrote it isn't too confusing, and I'm sorry if I misrepresented the accent in any way.

* * *

><p>Mello: Hypochondria by Pathway to Providence<br>Matt: Blackout by Breathe Carolina

**Chapter 3: Unexpected**

Mello stepped back out onto the sidewalk, wondering why it had to be so hot out. For the past couple days, he had been working on finding a job. Although he really did need to get one, the search hadn't started with any motivation to actually go out and find one; he had just wanted to get away from Misa.

He had started looking two days ago, after Misa had introduced him to the redheaded DJ. He had only stopped by the apartment to shower before leaving again, saying that he needed to start his job search right away. While that was technically true, he probably wouldn't have actually started looking that day if not for what had happened.

_I can't believe she didn't tell me the DJ was the friend she wanted to set me up with. What part of that exactly did she think I wouldn't want to know?_ So he had left to find a job. Or to get away from Misa. Both were partially true.

When he had got home after hours of walking from store to store, filling out applications, Misa had apologized. Sort of. She had said the words "I'm sorry," but he could tell that they didn't mean anything other than 'Please don't be mad at me anymore.' Though he had forgiven her, he knew that this was far from over. Misa still had something planned, and at the very least, he had still agreed to 'hang out,' as Misa had insisted it was, with the DJ.

_Matt… His name was Matt._ Though he had since learned his name, Mello still thought of him as the DJ from the rave, not as Matt, Misa's friend. Which wasn't necessarily a problem in Mello's mind since Misa hadn't cared to tell him that she knew the DJ, but he still tried to correct himself anyway. Not that it mattered what he thought of the man as; the problem was how frequently he thought of him.

Mello knew he didn't have a chance; the DJ…_Matt_ had a girlfriend after all, but he still couldn't stop thinking about him. He had tried to rationalize it, deciding that it wouldn't matter either way. Even if…_Matt_ didn't have a girlfriend, even if on some off chance he and Mello did start dating, it probably wouldn't last long. He couldn't imagine that they had much in common, well, besides being friends with Misa. But then what would they do, talk about Misa all the time? She talked about herself enough; she didn't need them to help.

Which meant that he should just forget about it, that it would never work out anyway... but he _couldn't_. Mello didn't believe in love at first sight, so he hadn't even entertained the notion that that's what this was, but he couldn't explain it. The only thing that even remotely made any sense was that he had, for some reason, became obsessed with a man that he had only even seen once, well, twice now. …But that didn't really make any sense either. What made Matt so special?

Not that it mattered what it was. He was better off just forgetting about it. So he had thrown himself into a job search, hoping to distract himself. Unfortunately, creating a project for himself hadn't worked as well as he had hoped. Matt still invaded his thoughts while he was trying to fill out applications, while he was making breakfast in the morning, and unfortunately, once while he was talking to Misa. When she had noticed that he was no longer paying attention, she had guessed right away what was distracting him. _That was fun. She wouldn't leave me alone about it for the rest of the day._

His stomach growled, reminding him that he should find someplace to eat for lunch, but as he continued down the sidewalk, he saw a sign that read 'Best Buy.' Misa had said something about Best Buy… had asked him if he had been looking for it when she had picked him up… He had completely forgotten about that. _Maybe I should check that out first, see if I can figure out why she thought I would be looking for it._

He entered the store, happy to be out of the heat again, and looked around. There didn't seem to be anything special about it, and since he didn't know exactly what he was looking for, he decided to just dismiss what Misa had said. But while he was there, he might as well ask for an application and check out the laptops. He wasn't planning on buying one that day, or really anytime soon, but it couldn't hurt to look since he would need one eventually.

He walked to the area labeled 'Computers' and asked one of the employees for an application, starting to browse through the display models while he waited for the girl to return. He really didn't have any idea what he was looking for in a computer. He'd only ever had one, the old desktop he had left behind when he had moved to California, and that one hadn't even technically been his. It was the 'family' computer, meaning it had been his mother's even though she had hardly ever used it. He was only allowed to use it for school work, but he didn't really care; it was ancient and really slow, so it wasn't actually good for much else.

He moved down to the next one in the row, looking over the specs card. It might as well have been written in Chinese for how much he got out of it. He didn't know what was considered good for a hard drive or what the i3 on the card meant, and wasn't the hard drive the memory? Then why was 'Memory' listed separately and had a different number next to it?

"You're Misa's friend, right?" he heard behind him. The voice sounded vaguely familiar. He turned around and was face to face with the redheaded DJ. Or Matt, as his nametag said. He looked so different in his Best Buy uniform, but the biggest change wasn't in his clothes but that that he wasn't wearing those goggles. Instead of seeing Matt looking at him through orange lenses when he turned around, he was greeted by a pair of green eyes peeking out from under messy red bangs. _Shit. This must be why Misa thought I was looking for Best Buy._

"Um, yeah," he managed to get out. He couldn't stop looking at Matt's eyes. Matt smiled at him in earnest, a smile that reached his eyes, but they looked so tired. It wasn't just the dark circles under them; there was something about his eyes that gave Mello the impression that he hadn't slept in days.

"Were you lookin' for anything special?" Mello's heart jumped, thinking back to what Misa had said. How was he going to explain that he wasn't in there to see Matt, that he was just there by chance? It took him a second to realize that Matt had been talking about the computers, not himself.

"I…" He didn't know what to say. Why was he in there again? "I don't know what I'm looking for. I don't know what any of this stuff means," he finally said, turning back to the little card in front of the laptop he had been looking at.

"Well, this one has a 640 gig hahrd drive, so that's like how much space you have for any files or programs you save. Then the processor, an i3 on this one. That's gonna determine how fast it is. An i3's not bad, but an i5 or i7 is gonna be better because they have the Turbo Boost." Matt continued down the card, describing the different features, but by the time he was done, Mello thought he might be even more confused. But that could have been because he had stopped paying attention to what Matt was actually saying when he started to try to place Matt's accent.

It was only very slight which was probably why he hadn't noticed it before, and it was really only on a few of his words. Like how he had said 'hahrd drive' instead of 'hard drive;' he emphasized the 'ah' sound of the 'a' almost to the point where you couldn't hear the 'r.' "So did that help you figure out what you want, or did I just confuse you more?" Matt said with a small grin when he was done explaining.

Luckily, the girl who had went to get him an application returned then, saving him from answering. Or not so luckily. He couldn't work there, not now that he had found out that's where Matt worked. "Thanks," he said anyway.

"Oh, what depahrtment were you thinkin' of workin' in?" Matt asked, seeing the application. There it was again, the 'ahr' sound. It was starting to bug him that he couldn't place that accent. Someplace from the east coast maybe?

"Not this one," Mello said and then wished he could take it back. That sounded dumb at best and offensive at worse considering that this was the department Matt worked in.

But instead of being offended, Matt started laughing. "No, I figured not. You don't seem to know a lot about computers."

"Right, well, I don't really know. I'm just trying to find a job."

"So, not lookin' for a computer then?"

"I am, sort of. I'm going to need to get one soon…" He still felt foolish for what he had said and hoped that he wasn't blushing; his cheeks felt a little warm. "How do you know which ones are good?" he asked. He didn't want to stop talking to Matt, but didn't know what else to talk about.

"It really depends on what you're lookin' for and what features are most important to you," Matt shrugged.

"Which one do you have?"

"Actually, I built mine," he said offhandedly, like it was no big deal.

Mello's jaw dropped. "You built a computer? Like…_built_ it?" he said, searching for a better word but only being able to repeat himself.

"Mhmm."

"How…?" Mello asked, dumbfounded.

"Got the pahrts I wanted, put it together, installed the software. It's not that hahrd if you know what you're doin'. And I'm pretty good with my hands so, you know." Mello looked to Matt's hands which were currently shoved into his pockets. He could imagine…

"So, I'm about to go on my lunch break," he heard Matt say, bringing him back to reality, "You hungry?"

"What?" He had to have heard him wrong. He couldn't be asking if Mello wanted to go to lunch with him.

"You wanna go get somethin' to eat?"

"Oh, ah, sure," he replied, honestly very surprised. He couldn't believe his luck. Matt actually wanted to go to lunch with him.

"I'll be right back," Matt said, heading towards the back of the store. Mello watched him walk away, ecstatic that he would get to spend an hour with Matt.

But then something crossed his mind that made his heart drop. _What if we really don't have anything to talk about…_

He'd been trying to convince himself that even if they did go on a date that they wouldn't have anything to talk about. And then from their short conversation, it really didn't seem like they had much in common. Matt was apparently a computer genius and a DJ with an accent that Mello was starting to think was from somewhere on the east coast, and Mello was technologically deficient, had no idea what he was going to do with his life, and may or may not have an anger problem depending on who you talked to. What on earth would they have to talk about?

Mello wandered around the computer displays trying to figure out how to act like he normally did. _He's just some guy. It's no big deal; just going to have lunch. It's not even a date. He has a girlfriend so I shouldn't have anything to worry about._

But just because he had a girlfriend didn't change the fact that Matt had been the focus of about 60% of his thoughts since he had first seen him which had increased to 80% after they had actually met. _Oh God… I looked awful when we met. That's probably how he remembers me… Why do I always have the worst luck? No! It doesn't matter. Just forget about it and act normal. Pretend like he's Misa or something._

"Calm the fuck down…" he whispered to himself.

"'Kay, I'm ready," Matt said, suddenly reappearing at Mello's side. He actually jumped a little, which he was certain was not 'normal' behavior, but Matt didn't mention it, so Mello decided it was best just to forget it ever happened.

_This is ridiculous. I can't pretend he's Misa. I never look at Misa and wish we were more than friends…or wonder what she looks like without her clothes on._ However, he didn't really have to wonder with her; he'd seen her naked far too many times. Misa wasn't exactly modest.

He pushed that thought from his mind and nodded. "Sure," he said and followed Matt out the doors to the parking lot.

The second they were outside, Matt pulled a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of his pocket. Mello had never smoked and had never found it to be the most appealing thing, but it didn't really bother him all that much.

As they walked through the parking lot, he kept looking around at all the cars, wondering which one was Matt's. He could imagine Matt driving an impressive looking new car. But instead, Matt suddenly stopped in front of a red Camaro. Not at all what he had been expecting.

"_This_ is your car?" Mello managed to get out. It was possibly the most amazing car he had ever seen. He couldn't remember exactly what year it was, a '68 or a '69, but either way, it was pretty old, and yet it looked brand new.

"Yeah," he said simply, but by the way he ran his hand over the hood, it was clear that he cared for it a great deal. "You comin'?" Matt asked, already in the car.

"Oh. Yeah. Right." He hadn't realized he was gaping at Matt's car. Mello didn't know a whole lot about cars. He didn't know anything about what was under the hood or how they actually worked, but he could name a couple of the models he liked.

It was one of the few things he could remember about his father before he got himself thrown in jail, those stupid model cars he loved so much. He had told Mello everything about them, multiple times, actually. And although a part of him felt that he should hate those cars because he associated them with his father, he couldn't help but love them.

"This thing is amazing," he said, getting in and marveling at the interior as well.

"Thanks," Matt said, picking up the iPod Touch that was sitting in the cup holder and turned it on. To Mello's surprise, music started blasting through the car speakers.

"How…?" he started. How could the car be playing the music on Matt's iPod when it wasn't connected to the car in any way?

"FM transmitter," Matt answered, pointing to the small box plugged into the bottom of the iPod before handing it to Mello. "Here, put on whatever you want."

He looked down at the small screen. It told him that 'Blackout' by Breathe Carolina was currently playing. Not that that meant anything to him. He scrolled through the 'artists' list, trying to find something he recognized. Nothing. He knew he had heard of a couple of them, but nothing he actually listened to. "This is fine," he finally said, leaving what had been playing on. He sat the iPod back down into the cup holder Matt had taken it out of, noticing the ashtray in the other. It looked like it desperately needed to be emptied.

"Oh, you like Breathe Carolina? What do you think of their new album?" Matt asked, pulling out of the parking lot. Mello briefly considered lying and saying that he did like them and thought the new album was pretty good, but decided against it. What would happen if Matt asked him something more specific, something he would have no way of answering?

"Uh, I don't usually listen to, well, anything like this…" he said reluctantly.

"Really? What do you think then?"

"It's better than-" He stopped himself. He couldn't tell Matt that it was better than the music at the rave. "At least it has words," he said, trying to think of something positive to say.

"It's better than what?" Matt asked.

"Some of the other music that I've heard like this…that didn't have words?"

"Oh," Matt said, "Well, what kinda music do you like?"

"Uh, I guess anything with guitar." He'd never really thought about what _type _of music he liked before; he just liked what he liked.

Matt continued down the road, picking up his iPod and selecting a new song. Considering the number of cars on the road, Mello was a bit concerned when Matt started scrolling through his iPod as he tried to drive and continue smoking his cigarette. "Do you like Thai food?" Matt asked, putting the iPod back down after selecting a new song. It did have guitar in it, but it didn't sound like anything Mello had ever listened to before.

"Uh, sure," he replied, but didn't know what else to say.

He was listening to the song Matt had put on, trying to decide if he liked it or not, when he noticed how silent it was. Or semi-silent as Matt's music was still playing. _How long have we been sitting here, not talking. Great. Now this is awkward…_

"So where did you find a car like this in such good condition?" Mello asked. Although he was honestly interested, he had asked just to end the silence.

"I didn't. It was junk when I first got it. It took about a year to fix it up, but I'd say it was worth it."

"Wait, you built a computer _and_ you refinished a car?" He was starting to believe that Matt could do anything.

"Well, a friend of mine helped me out with it. He's really into cahrs, so as soon as I bought it, he wanted to help me rebuild it. Which was fine with me since I didn't even know where to stahrt," he said with a small laugh, flicking the ashes of his cigarette into ashtray.

That reminded him. "Where are you from?" he asked.

"That was random," Matt said, glancing over at him.

"Yeah, sorry. It's just that it's bothering me that I can't place your accent." He supposed it _was_ kind of random, but he had to ask.

"That's alright. Don't apologize; random is good, keeps things interesting. I used to live Massachusetts, about twenty minutes out of Bahstin."

"Boston accent… I probably would have guessed New York."

"Naw, you're probably thinking of those people who say cawfee instead of cahfee."

"You mean coffee?" Mello said with a smile. He liked Matt's accent, thought it was cute.

"Yeah, that's was I said. Cahfee. If you think I have an accent now, you should have heahrd me when I first moved here about a year ago."

"It's not even really that noticeable. Just on a couple words. Like how you pronounce your 'r's sometimes."

"Yeah, you go to Bahstin, and you won't hear any 'ahr's. I think I picked up saying them most of the time now," he said pulling into a parking lot. "And apparently I say cahfee weird," he added.

"And Boston," Mello added, as Matt turned off his iPod and cut the engine.

"I'm pretty sure outta the two of us, _I_ would know how to say Bahstin. Maybe it's the rest of the US that says it wrong," he said lightly. He put his cigarette out, smashing it down into the ashtray with the others.

"Maybe," Mello said, deciding to give in. He liked listening to Matt's accent anyway; it was a nice change from the boring 'normal' Midwestern way of talking he was used to. And at the very least, it would make their non-date more interesting.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** So, like I said, I'm really sorry if I misrepresented the Boston accent in any way. _Please_, tell me if I did, and I'll do my best to fix it.

Two other things: 1. In case anyone was wondering, the other song Matt put on is Tell 'Em by Sleigh Bells. 2. To any Breathe Carolina fans out there who may be reading this, what do you think of the new album? I have mixed feelings about it :/

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>Midnightkisses10, Rebecca, SyC0bEaR, wishingbell, NessaYume, iamagenius, Aim-For-The-Head, isabellegoesRaawr


	4. Chapter 4: Nondate

Matt: Moar Ghosts 'n' Stuff by Deadmau5  
>Mello: Forward Motion by Relient K<p>

**Chapter 4: Non-date**

Mello got out of the car, looking it over again. He couldn't believe Matt had rebuilt it. "Hey, you comin' or do you just wanna stand out here and stare at my cahr?" he heard Matt say and looked up to see him already a couple of cars away.

"Uh, no, I'm coming," he said, hurrying to catch up with Matt. "How much did it cost? To fix up your Camaro, I mean."

"Oh, I dunno," he said, leading Mello out of the parking lot which Mello supposed was for the Whole Foods Market next to it, and across the street. The way he said it gave Mello the impression that he was embarrassed, like he just wanted to glaze over his answer and move onto a different topic, but Mello couldn't understand what there was to be embarrassed about. Matt had rebuilt a car; that was more than Mello could say for himself.

"What do you mean you don't know? It must have cost a fortune. You don't have to modest about it or anything."

"No, really, I don't know how much it cost. I, uh, didn't pay for it…" Matt held the door under a sign that read 'Thai House' open for Mello but only looked down at his feet.

"What did you do, steal the money?" he asked, joking. But once he asked, he wondered if Matt actually had. _That would explain why he seemed reluctant to talk about it…_

But once Mello stepped into the restaurant, he momentarily forgot all about Matt and his car. The interior left him feeling underdressed in his t-shirt and skinny jeans with its classy atmosphere, skylight, and abstract art adorning the walls.

"Oh, uh, nothin' like that," Matt said, returning Mello's focus to their conversation. "It's just…my parents paid for it."

The hostess stepped forward and asked if it would only be the two of them. Matt responded affirmatively, and they were led to a table and told a waitress would be with them in a minute. The entire situation made Mello feel like they were on a date which of course was ridiculous. Matt had a girlfriend, and besides, he had only asked Mello to join him because he was friends with Misa. That was all.

"Your parents really agreed to pay for a car?" Mello asked once the hostess had left, surprised. Not that they had ever had the money, but even if they did, he couldn't imagine his mother ever just handing him the money for a car. But before Matt could answer, the waitress came over and asked what they would like to drink.

When she was gone, Matt looked down at his hands nervously. He suddenly looked up and said something Mello would have never expected. "I don't want you thinkin' I'm some spoiled brat, okay? Just because my parents have money doesn't mean I ever wanted to take advantage of it." Matt's voice wasn't angry or even very loud, but his words seemed to have a sharpened edge to them, and Mello was a bit taken aback.

He really didn't know how to respond, so he didn't. Mello simply opened the menu the waitress had left in front of him and stared down at it. The words blurred together as he pretended to look over it. He hadn't meant to offend Matt and almost felt that he should say sorry, but should he really have to apologize for that? He didn't think that he had done anything wrong.

Matt sighed and opened his menu as well. When the waitress came back with their drinks, she asked if they were ready to order. "Pad Thai with chicken," Matt said, handing her his menu.

"Same," Mello said, not having actually read a single thing on the menu. He'd had Pad Thai before and knew that he liked it, so he was sure it would be fine.

"I'm sorry," Matt said when the waitress had left again, "It's just people always assume I sponge off my parents' money."

"I wasn't thinking that at all," Mello said, "I was just wondering about your car, that's all."

"I know. I overreacted. It's just when I was little, I was really shy and didn't like to talk to other people. So between that and my parents being rich, people always assumed I thought I was better than everyone else. They still do a lot of times, and it pisses me off. I'm not the most social person, and I guess I can kind of see where they would get that, but…I still hate it."

"If it makes you feel any better, I grew up not having any money. I'm sure it must have been better than that."

"You'd be surprised. Both my parents were CEO's of companies, so they were never home; I was basically raised by our nanny. She was nice and all, but I might as well have not even had parents."

"Better parents you never see than my parents. My dad's been in jail since I was five, and my mother…let's just say I don't get along with her." He wasn't entirely sure he wanted to tell Matt his entire life story, especially the parts about him and his mother, just yet.

"Oh… I'm sorry," Matt said.

"You don't have to apologize. It is what it is," Mello shrugged. He didn't want Matt to pity him. "So then why didn't you just buy a used car or something if you didn't want to have them pay for it?" he asked, trying to take the focus off of himself.

"I kind of thought I was. I mean, I thought I would be the one payin' for it. When I turned 16 my parents offered to buy me a brand new cahr, but I said I didn't want one. The same week, I went out and bought what was basically the shell of my Camaro with my own money. I was so proud of myself even though I'd bought a cahr that didn't actually work. I had to have someone tow it to our house," he said with a small laugh.

"Anyway," he continued, "when my parents got home that night, they came in yellin' about how someone had pahrked their piece of shit cahr in the driveway. And when they found out it was mine, they gave me a lecture about how I shouldn't throw away money which was about the most hypocritical thing they could have said; I'd seen them throw away money on things we didn't need my whole life. But they let me keep it which was all I cared about.

"The next day at school, I told my best friend about it, and he jumped at the chance to help me out with it which was good because I had no idea what I was doin'. So after that, he'd come over a couple times a week, and we'd work on it. I got a job to help pay for pahrts, which of course, I was very proud of especially when my parents found out and it shocked the hell out of 'em. Even though it was minimum wage, there was always money in my account when I needed it, and since I didn't know how to manage money after I'd just had it handed to me my whole life, I didn't think anythin' of it. I just figured I was workin' enough to cover everythin' I needed. I found out later that my parents had been puttin' money in my bank account to make up for what I had been 'wastin',' as they said.

"I hated that they had done that, but after all the hours I'd put into workin' on it, that was still _my_ cahr. I kept the job even after the cahr was done, I guess to sort of prove to my parents that I didn't need them which, of course, was stupid. I couldn't support myself on minimum wage, and even if there was some way that I could, I was still livin' in their house, eatin' the food that they paid for."

Their food came then, and Matt suddenly looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry; I normally don't ramble on about shit like that… You probably didn't want to hear all that…"

"It's fine. I asked," Mello said and took a bite of his food. It seemed awfully spicy. Had he ordered it like that? He'd just gotten the same thing as Matt, but Matt, who had dug into the plate of food in front of him, didn't seem to mind it. "So is that why you moved all the way out here, so you didn't have to live off your parents' money?" he asked.

Matt looked at him a second, hesitating. "You really want to hear about all this?"

"Yeah." Mello surprised himself a little. He normally didn't care to listen to people talk about themselves; he always felt that it came off as self-centered. But that wasn't the case at all this time. Not only did Matt seem quite modest about it, but Mello had honestly been interested in everything he'd had to say. Before, he had felt that there was no reason for him to be so fixated with Matt, but now that he was actually talking with him and starting to find out more about him, it felt justifiable. It felt more than ever like he wanted Matt to be more than just some friend he had met through Misa. "So?" he said, wanting Matt to continue.

"That was the idea. I was so ready to be away from all that, but after only a week, I almost went back home. I had no fuckin' idea what I was doin', and it freaked me out. The only thing that stopped me was that I didn't have enough money left over to get home, and I didn't want to ask for it," he said with a laugh. "I eventually got my shit together, and things worked out for the most pahrt. I pay my own rent and for food and stuff, but my parents still pay my tuition," he added, sounding not at all happy with that fact. "Don't you like your food?" Matt asked, taking notice that Mello had hardly touched his.

"It's fine. Just a little spicy," he said, and although it was a bit too spicy for his taste, that wasn't the reason why he'd only taken a few bites. He had been too preoccupied listening to Matt. _I can't believe I really do like this guy. Why else would have I been so interested in everything that's happened to him? …Too bad he has a girlfriend._

"Don't like spicy food?" Matt asked.

"It's okay. I'd just rather eat stuff that doesn't make my mouth feel like it's on fire," he said taking a bite of his food. "Not that this is that bad," he added, not wanting Matt to think that he couldn't handle it.

"Maybe I'm just used to it," Matt shrugged, "I eat here all the time; this is one of my favorite restaurants."

"It's good," he said honestly. It wasn't the best food he'd ever had in his life, but it was good. "It's kind of fancy though," he said, still feeling out of place. Then again, Matt was sitting right across from him in his work uniform; that didn't really seem appropriate either.

"Yeah, I guess. The first time I came here was with Misa. We just saw a Thai place and decided to stop, and well, you know how Misa dresses, and neither of us had been here before, so we didn't know. After that, I didn't think much of it."

"You've been here with Misa?" he asked hesitantly. Misa had never really talked about Matt before. Now that he was thinking of it, she had mentioned him a couple times, but from how she'd been acting since he had got there and now Matt apparently going out to lunch with her, they seemed like they were pretty close. It made him wonder…

"Yeah…?"

"You and Misa never…?" Matt looked at him, clearly not understanding what he was getting at, but then it seemed to click in Matt's mind.

"You mean like dated?" he asked, "No, of course not. We're friends, and that's all we've ever been. What about you?"

"Have I ever been with Misa? You're joking right?" he said, starting to laugh at the idea. "She's basically my sister. That would be so weird. It would feel like incest. Besides, I'm gay." He couldn't believe Matt had even asked that. Him dating Misa? That was the most ridiculous thing he had ever heard.

"I know, Misa told me," he said, "I mean before you knew you were gay. You've known each other a long time, right?"

"Yeah, I've known her since I was in first grade, but I've basically always known that I was gay. When the girls in my elementary school classes were first starting to have crushes on guys, so was I."

"Really?" Matt said, sounding surprised, "I didn't know that I was bi until high school."

If Mello had been Misa, he would have gotten up and done a happy dance right there, clapping his hands and squealing, but he wasn't, so he sat there and tried to conceal his excitement instead. _Matt's not straight! That means I actually have a chance. It's probably not a very good chance since he's already in a relationship, but it's still a chance!_

But that sounded familiar. Had Misa told him that Matt was bi? How else would have he known? "I think Misa might have told me that…" he said, more or less to himself. Now that he was thinking about it, she definitely had. But it was before he had found out that she knew Matt, so he hadn't thought anything of it. And considering that she had said something about it right after he had seen Matt with his girlfriend at the rave, he had thought she was just trying to cheer him up by saying that he might be bi.

"Yeah, I wouldn't doubt it," Matt said, "I think she was plannin' on tryin' to set us up together."

"I got that feeling too."

"I wish she would stop. I'm pretty sure I can decide who I want to date for myself." He sounded annoyed, which disappointed Mello. _He's probably not at all interested in me then. Then again, I still think it's annoying that Misa tried to set me up with him, and I actually __**am **__interested in him…_

"So she tries to set you up with guys too?" he asked, deciding to forget about it. There was no way he could know if Matt would ever consider dating him just from what he had said.

"All the time. I keep tellin' her I don't want her help, but she won't listen."

"Just give up; she'll never listen. I've been dealing with it for years. You know, she once sent me on a blind date with a straight guy. I really don't know if she thought I could 'convert' him or what, but that was the most awkward conversation of my life. Apparently from what she had said to him, he thought I would be a girl," Mello said with a laugh. Misa really was relentless.

"That's awful," Matt said, laughing. "I'm sorry, but that's hilarious."

"The poor guy who was supposed to be on a date with me didn't think so. He was so confused when I turned out to be a guy."

"I can imagine." The waitress came by then and took Matt's plate. Mello hadn't realized Matt had finished; he still had about half of his food left. He started eating more quickly, trying to make up for lost time. "You don't have to rush," Matt said, noticing. "We still have time," he said, pulling his cell phone out of his pocket and looking at the small digital clock at the top of the display.

"Let me guess, you built that too?" Mello said, seeing Matt's very expensive looking phone.

"Naw, of course not," Matt said, returning it to his pocket.

"Says the guy who built a computer _and_ rebuilt a car. _Of course_ you couldn't have build a cell phone."

"You make it sound like I can build anythin'. I know a lot about computers, but I would have been lost if I would have tried fix the cahr by myself."

"Doesn't matter. That's already more than I could do. I'm terrible with technology."

"And you got an application for Best Buy?" Matt asked, teasing him.

"Well, I can work a cashier or something," Mello said, feeling a little embarrassed. "But why are you only selling computers? You could make a lot of money building them or even fixing them."

"Yeah, I filled out an application to work on the Best Buy 'Geek Squad' when I first moved here, but they weren't lookin' to hire anyone. I figured workin' in the 'Computers' depahrtment was good enough, and I never looked into it again," he shrugged.

"You should if you think you would like that better than your job now."

"It's not that big of a deal. I mean, I like workin' with computers, but…I don't know…"

"What?" Mello asked, hoping Matt would explain. He was honestly very curious as to why Matt would be hesitant to try getting a job that he would probably like more than his current one and would probably pay more, but the waitress came over.

"Would either of you like anything for dessert?" she asked.

"No thank you," Mello said, trying to get her to go away, but just as he was about to ask Matt again, she told them that she would bring the bill right over.

"I'll pay," Matt said when she left.

"No, you don't have to. I can pay for my own food," Mello said, temporarily distracted from what he wanted to ask.

"It's alright. Consider it your housewahrming gift or somethin'."

"You sure?"

"Yeah, it's no problem," he said, taking the bill when the waitress came back. He gave her a credit card and pulled his phone out of his pocket again to check the time. "Shit, we gotta hurry," he said, though he didn't really sound all that worried.

"Are you going to be late?"

"I'm already late."

"I'm sorry," Mello said. He felt bad for making Matt late.

"No big deal," Matt said, returning his credit card to his wallet the second it came back. And although Matt acted like it didn't matter that he was late, he walked a bit more quickly out of the restaurant and to the car than he had coming in. Regardless, he still took the extra second to pull out and light another cigarette.

"Hey, I guess I don't have time to take you just anywhere, but if you want, I can drop you off somewhere as long as it's on my way back to work," Matt offered.

"Best Buy is fine. I still wanted to go to a few more stores and fill out applications. Might as well pick up where I left off."

"Sure," Matt said, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel impatiently when the car in front of him didn't seem to be going fast enough for him. "Uh, here," he said, digging his phone out of his pocket and tossing it to Mello, "Put your number in."

Mello looked down at the expensive looking cell phone in his hands; it made his old flip phone look pathetic, though he supposed it kind of was.

They seemed to get back to Best Buy much more quickly than it took to get to the restaurant, but that could have been due to the way Matt was driving, weaving around the cars in front of him and disregarding the speed limit as only a guideline. Though Mello really wasn't very good with touch screens or figuring out other people's phones, he managed to enter his number into Matt's phone by the time they got back to the parking lot.

The second he had parked, Matt pulled the key out of the ignition and jumped out of the car. "Hey," Mello called to him as he started towards the door. He held up Matt's phone to show him that he had forgotten it.

"Oh, right, thanks. I'll text you later," Matt said, taking his phone back from Mello.

"Bye," Mello said, but he didn't think Matt heard as he took off, running towards the door, cigarette still between his lips.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Aww, their first date. Well, not technically, but still. :3

I'm so sorry it has taken me so long to update this story. I haven't had time to write or edit or really do anything concerning my fanfics, but now I should be able to continue posting new chapters at regular intervals. Hopefully…

Anyway, since people have asked why Matt has a Boston accent, I suppose I shall answer. When I was imagining the dialogue between him and Mello, his voice just came out with an accent. I can't really explain it beyond that, because there really is nothing beyond that. In my head, Matt had an accent, so I tried to write his parts with an accent. That's all :)

By the way, Matt's song for this chapter is what originally gave me the idea to write this fic and was basically my inspiration for it. Without that song, this fanfic would probably not exist.

**A special thanks to the following reviewers: **Midnightkisses10, NessaYume, TheRejectedAngel, TrickledFingers, SyC0bEaR, ConfettiCrazy, Drakie, Rebecca, MEOW, Aim-For-The-Head, crayola-writer, Moonlit917, IWuffCupcakes


	5. Chapter 5: Prospects

Mello: Howlin' for You by The Black Keys  
>Matt: To The Stars by Feed Me<p>

**Chapter 5: Prospects**

Mello looked down at his cell phone again before jamming it back down into his pocket. Still nothing. And it didn't look like there was going to be anything. _Something probably just came up, and he forgot about it. Or maybe I typed my number in wrong…? It's no big deal. I'm just over thinking it…_

The day before when Matt had told him that he would text him later, he had been ecstatic—he would be lying if he even thought otherwise—but he'd tried to just forget about it. It didn't mean anything, after all. Friends texted friends all the time, right? And even if they really were little more than acquaintances, he was sure that they would end up as friends; he doubted that Misa would allow anything less.

Even so, as the day went on, he had found himself checking his cell phone more and more frequently just to be disappointed each time, and each time, it seemed more and more like Matt wasn't going to be texting him. He knew it was pointless thinking about it so much, but he couldn't help himself.

One good thing came out of it though, he supposed. Since the day before, he'd gone from hopeful, to rather cynical about the entire thing. There was no point in being so hung up over Matt not texting him. Matt already had a girlfriend, so there was no reason for him to be so set on dating him. It was actually a bit of a relief for him to make this realization, and he didn't care if he'd come to it through oversimplifying things or lying to himself about how he was feeling or whatever; it was nice to leave things at face value and say that he'd be fine if he and Matt were just friends.

Not that it mattered. He still felt an unwarranted desire to make Matt his.

"Mello!" he heard Misa call out shrilly, throwing her bedroom door open and letting it crash loudly against the wall. He didn't answer her. He doubted that whatever it was could be anything important, and besides, he didn't really have the time to deal with her; he had somewhere to be and still had to get something to eat before leaving.

After having lunch with Matt, he continued his on foot job search, eventually reaching the intersection Misa had had to pick him up at that first day he had went out running. He'd went in to fill out an application for the Starbucks he'd seen across the street that day, noticing the 'Help Wanted' sign on the window and had come out with a job, the manager having given him an interview and hiring him on the spot. He would have to go through a couple weeks of training but the pay wasn't bad, and it was a guaranteed job, so he'd taken it.

"Mello!" he heard again but continued to ignored her, going to the kitchen and taking the leftovers from the dinner Takada had made the night before out of the refrigerator and putting them into the microwave.

He'd been a bit apprehensive to try Takada's cooking after Misa had told him that she was into 'that gross healthy stuff,' but he'd been pleasantly surprised to find that it was actually pretty tasty. Which was good, considering that he'd probably be eating a lot of it while he lived there. Takada was the only one out of the three of them who _really _knew how to cook—Mello was capable of doing a few simple things, but Misa was absolutely hopeless—so it seemed that, unless they went out or ordered in, she was in charge of dinner most nights.

"Why didn't you tell me you went on a date with Matt?" Misa demanded, and he turned around to see her standing just inside the kitchen, still wearing the t-shirt and tiny cotton shorts she'd slept in, an angry look on her face and her laptop in her hands.

"Because it wasn't a date. We got lunch. That's it," he shrugged. As disappointing as it was to admit to himself, that _was_ it after all. Not that it should even matter after he'd decided to just wait and see how things progressed between him and Matt.

"I pretty sure it was a date," she insisted, her eyes wide.

"Misa, just because two people have lunch together does not mean that they're on a date," he said, rolling his eyes at her. "Besides, he has a girlfriend, remember?" The microwave beeped, telling him his food was ready. He turned away from her and pulled the microwave door open but froze when he heard what she said next.

"No, he doesn't. Not anymore," she sing-songed.

"…Did he tell you that?" he asked, skeptical. For all he knew, this could be another one of Misa's ploys to set him up with Matt.

"Well, yeah, he texted me last night and told me, but he didn't have to. Now it's Facebook official," she said, flashing him a devious smile before looking down at the screen of her computer. "'Matt went from being in a relationship to single,'" she read. "Look," she added, sitting her laptop down on the table in front of him as he sat down with his food. He felt his heart jump in his chest. It did in fact say that, and it made him throw all the logic he'd tried to put into convincing himself that he should just forget about his possible feelings for Matt out the window. If Matt didn't have a girlfriend anymore, he had real hope. But with Misa's next words, he was brought back to reality. "This is why you need to make a Facebook."

"Why, so everything I do is public? Besides, I don't even have a computer," he said flatly, momentarily distracted from his thoughts. He'd never understood the draw to such things. For someone like Misa who liked to be in the spotlight at all times, it made sense, but he didn't really care for everyone to see every little detail of his life.

"No, so you can Facebook stalk people," she said as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

"There's something wrong with you."

"Melloooo," she whined, "Come on. Look at this. He's single. Go upstairs and ask him out!"

"He just got out of a relationship last night," he said, looking back at the screen at the timestamp of the post. It was an all too tempting idea, but he couldn't just ask Matt out so soon. "What if _she_ broke up with _him_?" he added, the thought crossing his mind. "He might still have feelings for her."

"Well… I really shouldn't tell you, but…" He expected her to continue, but it didn't seem like she was going to, not without tormenting him a bit first.

"Okay," he said with a shrug, refusing to take the bait, "don't tell me then." He knew that she would tell him either way. It would be too much for her to keep whatever gossip she had to herself.

"Fine," she said, crossing her arms and pouting, "Your loss." He tried to concentrate on something else, anything to take his mind off of it, but just as he was about to give in, the computer chimed. They both moved to look at the screen. 'New message from Matt Jeevas.' He went to click on it, but Misa slammed the laptop shut. "No. Absolutely not."

"Is that how you knew we had lunch yesterday? You were talking to him on here?" he demanded. "About me?" It was odd to think that, while he'd presumed Misa to still be asleep, she'd been talking to Matt about him. He wasn't sure if he should be weirded out or flattered. At least Matt had been thinking about him, he supposed.

"Yeah. I still can't believe you didn't tell me," she said, sounding offended, "It seems like 'Oh my God! I went on a date with Matt!' would have been the first words out of your mouth when you got back."

"I don't sound like that," he grumbled, but then something clicked in his mind, something that gave him hope. "Wait, did he say it was a date?" he demanded.

"Well…no, not exactly, but that's what it sounded like."

"Right," he said, fed up with the way Misa was acting. It was like she just wanted to give him false hope. _No, that's just how Misa is, always reading too much into everything._

"Don't be mad. That really is what it sounded like," she said, sounding worried.

"I'm not mad." And he wasn't, not really, just a bit annoyed.

"I know something that will cheer you up," she said, a grin coming back to her face.

"Great. Are you going to tell me what it is, or are you just going to dangle it in front of my face?" he said, his voice flat as he picked over the last of his food.

"I thought you weren't mad?"

"I'm not! Would you just tell me so I can get out of here?" he said, and he was a bit surprised to find that he was yelling. "Sorry," he said more quietly, honestly feeling bad about lashing out at her. He thought she might make a crack about him needing to go back to anger management, but apparently she thought better of it.

"I know Matt doesn't still have feelings for Sayu. He told me a week ago that he was thinking of breaking up with her," she said, leaning closer to him as if telling him a secret even though there was no one else in the apartment with them as Takada had already left for her internship at a local news station.

"Sayu…" he breathed out, trying to place where he'd heard the name before. He thought Misa had said something about her before, but he couldn't quite remember what.

"Yeah. Sayu Yagami. Light's little sister," she said, "But aren't you excited? That's good news, right?"

It was, or at least, it should have been, but with all his obstacles suddenly out of his way, it seemed a bit too good to be true. "I guess…but that still doesn't mean that he would be interested in me."

"No, you're probably right," she said with a sigh, getting up and taking her laptop with her.

"What?" he said, pushing the chair back and standing up abruptly. He could feel his heart drop at her words, but he was more annoyed than anything with how Misa kept switching things around.

"No matter what I say, you're not going to believe me, so you're just going to have to figure it out for yourself," she said with a smirk. "Besides, it's more fun this way."

"For who?"

"For me," she said, sounding all too happy about it. "Don't you have somewhere to be? Job training or something like that?" He might have tried to press her for more information, but she was right. He should get going if he wanted to make sure he wouldn't be late for his first day. "Have fun," she said over her shoulder, leaving him in the kitchen.

"Yeah…fun…" he grumbled, placing his bowl in the sink. He couldn't imagine training would be the most exciting thing under normal circumstances, but now the entire time he'd be thinking about what Misa had said which was bound to make it all the more worse.

He didn't understand why she could never just say what she meant, but she was at least partially right. Even though he had wanted to know, she probably shouldn't have even told him what she had. He was sure Matt had told her what he had in confidence. Maybe it was better that she'd decided not to say anything else.

He headed to the bathroom, brushing his teeth quickly. With one last glance at himself in the mirror, he decided that he was ready. He wasn't exactly sure what he was supposed to wear for his job training, but his black skinny jeans and dark blue button down shirt weren't _that_ far off from the dress code.

"Bye," he yelled through Misa's door, which he quickly found to be a mistake.

"Bye! Don't let your little fantasies about Matt distract you at work!" she called back happily.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, and continued to the door, locking it behind him. He was actually really hoping to keep Matt out his thoughts as much as possible so he wouldn't be distracted, but her bringing it up again certainly didn't help.

Of course, making a conscious effort to try not to think about him only made Mello think about him more. He couldn't think of much else as he walked to the elevator and hit the down button, waiting for the doors to open, trying to rationalize his fixation away. _It shouldn't even matter. So what? He doesn't have a girlfriend anymore. That doesn't mean that he wants another relationship right away. Hell, even if he did, that doesn't mean he'd want to date me…_

The elevator dinged, bringing him out of his thoughts, but as the doors opened they revealed the very person he was unsuccessfully trying not to think about. Matt stood in the elevator in his Best Buy uniform, staring intently down at his cell phone, his thumbs working furiously to type something out.

Mello could only stand there in shock. He hadn't expected to see Matt that morning, or really, at all that day. Only when the elevator doors started to close again did he move, stepping into the small space with Matt.

"Hey," he said, feeling awkward especially since it seemed that Matt hadn't noticed him, still engrossed in his phone.

"Oh, hey," he returned, shoving his phone into his pocket when he noticed Mello. "Didn't expect to see you this mornin'," he said, sounding a bit on edge.

"Yeah…" He didn't know what to say and was starting to wish that he would have just waited for the next elevator; he doubted Matt would have even noticed if he had.

"Oh, uh, sorry I didn't text you," Matt said nervously, as if just remembering, "I…had a lot to deal with last night."

"It's alright," Mello said, but just as he did, he heard Matt's phone vibrate.

"Just gonna turn the damn thing off," Matt grumbled, yanking it back out of his pocket.

"Everything okay?" Mello offered hesitantly. If this had to do with Matt's ex-girlfriend, he wasn't entirely sure that he wanted to get in the middle of it.

"Yeah," he sighed, "it's fine." The second his cell phone was off and returned to his pocket, Matt seemed to relax a bit, but things still felt tense in the small elevator. What didn't help matters was that Mello didn't know what to say, and it seemed that Matt didn't either. Any of the familiarity they had gained at lunch the day before had seemed to have abandoned them.

Mello was glad when the elevator reached the ground floor; if he couldn't end the awkward silence, he could at least run like hell from it. But as the doors opened and he was about to say that he should get going, Matt surprised him.

"So, uh, goin' out to look for a job again today?" he asked, stepping out of the elevator after Mello. It was a simple enough question, nothing particularly important or profound, but Mello was completely taken aback by it. He stopped just outside the elevator and turned back to look at Matt, whose tired eyes were peeking out from under his messy red bangs, looking at him expectantly.

"Um, actually, Starbucks hired me yesterday. I have some sort of group training thing today," he said, finally finding his voice.

"Wow, that's great," Matt said earnestly, "I'm headin' out to work; you, uh, want me to give you a ride?"

"I don't want to make you late again…" Mello still felt bad about that. He was sure that if he wouldn't have taken so long at lunch that Matt would have been fine getting back to work on time.

"Naw, it should be fine. I got up early for once in my life this mornin' so I wouldn't be late. After yesterday, my boss said he'd fire me if I was late again," he shrugged.

"Really? After only one time? That's awfully harsh," Mello said, surprised by Matt's nonchalant attitude.

"Yeah, if it was after one time, that would be hahrsh," he said with a small laugh, "but I'm, uh, usually late a couple times a week."

Mello stared at him, his mouth slightly agape. "I can't be the reason you lose your job. Really, I'm fine taking my motorcycle."

"I'm tellin' you. It's fine. My shift doesn't stahrt for another twenty minutes. We already wasted five minutes standin' here, talkin' about it," he said with an awkward little smile.

"Okay… Let's go." Although 'five minutes' may have been a bit of an exaggeration, he supposed Matt was right. They could have already been on their way there had he just accepted Matt's offer. Besides, now that they had actually remembered how to have a conversation with each other, he really didn't want to stop talking to Matt.

It wasn't that their conversation was particularly great—they really weren't even talking about much of anything—but Mello couldn't help but want it to continue. After having lunch with Matt the day before, he _wanted _to get to know him better no matter what that meant. Although he did still want to date Matt, he was fine just being friends. At least for now.

They finally moved from their spot just outside the elevator in the direction of the parking structure. "So, uh, you said you have a motorcycle?" Matt said, holding the door open for him.

"Yeah, it's kind of old and nothing fancy, but it was cheaper than getting a car."

"What kind is it?"

"1986 Suzuki Savage."

"Ah," Matt said with a knowing nod before glancing back over at Mello and shaking his head. "Naw, I don't have a clue what that means."

"You can take a look at it if you want. I think I parked it over here somewhere."

"Wait, you're not talkin' about that junky little thing I pahrked next to last night, are you?"

"I hope not…" Mello said, a bit taken aback. It was nothing compared to Matt's Camaro, but he wouldn't call it junky, although he supposed he might be a bit biased.

"Hey, I-I didn't mean to offend you or anything…" Matt offered, sounding honestly apologetic for what he'd said. But as they approached Matt's beautiful, shiny red Camaro, Mello's much less impressive motorcycle came into view next to it. "Sorry…" he added, seeing Mello's expression.

"No, I mean, she may not be much, but she got me here from Ohio," he said, running his hand over the seat. He knew what Matt must be thinking, seeing the black paint marred by dents and rust spots: that it was ready for the junk yard. And while he had originally only bought it because of how cheap he'd gotten it for, after having it for only a little over two years, he wouldn't trade it for anything fancier.

"You're attached to it; I get that," Matt said with a shrug, but then what Mello had said must have hit him. "Wait, you drove from _Ohio_ on that thing?"

"Hey, just because she doesn't look the prettiest doesn't mean she doesn't ride well," he said, feigning offense, but he soon gave up when a smile broke out across his face. "Let's just go before you decided to make fun of my motorcycle anymore," he said jokingly.

"Good idea," Matt said with a laugh, opening the driver's side door and sliding in. "I really am sorry though if I offended you or anything," he added as Mello got in.

"No, most people act like you did when they see it. I'm used to it."

"If it held up driving all the way from Ohio, it must have pretty good potential. You should fix it up a bit," Matt said, lighting a cigarette before starting the engine.

"Yeah, I'd love to, but things like having food and a place to stay are a bit higher on the list," he said with a small laugh, looking over to see Matt inhaling deeply. He wondered briefly just how much Matt smoked, but thought it would be rude to ask.

"Well if you ever decide to stahrt workin' on it, I'd love to help you out," he said, pulling out of the parking garage and blowing smoke out the open window, "I'm sure it's a lot different than my cahr, and I guess I didn't even really know what I was doing with that—like I said, I wouldda been lost if I didn't have a friend who knew about cahrs—but the offer's there if you want it. Between the two of us, we could prob'ly figure it out."

"That'd be great," Mello said sincerely, "Thanks, I'll keep that in mind." Even though he most certainly didn't have the money to even think about doing any repairs, he couldn't help but think that it would be an opportunity to spend more time with Matt.

"Yeah, no problem. I miss workin' on my cahr. It'd be nice to do something like that again."

"What about a computer? Wanna build me one of those?" Mello said jokingly. He didn't actually think that Matt would agree to it, but it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if he did.

"Sure. I can build you one for pretty cheap—definitely a lot cheaper than the ones we sell at Best Buy. Hell, if you need one right away, you can just borrow one of mine."

"You have more than one?" Mello asked, surprised.

"Yeah," Matt said, glancing over at Mello and giving him a look that suggested he thought this was a very strange question. "I only have three that are actually workin' right now, but I have a few half built and a whole lot of spare pahrts layin' around my apahrtment."

"I, uh, don't think I'll need to borrow one—I'm sure Misa would let me use hers if I needed to—but that'd be amazing if you could build me a laptop."

"Yeah, sure. We can work out what features you want and the price and all that shit later, but, uh, you should get ready to get out. I'm gonna be blockin' traffic," he said, and Mello was sad to see that Starbucks was coming up on the right. Surely it should have taken longer to get there, or at least he wished it would have.

It had been a bit awkward to start, running into each other in the elevator as they had, but now that they were talking, Mello didn't want to stop. There wasn't much he could do about that though, so he unbuckled his seatbelt and got ready to hop out of the car.

"See you later," he said and stepped out on the curb, about to shut the door.

"Hey," Matt called to him, so he stuck his head back into the car despite the loud honking of the car behind them. "You wanna do something this weekend?" Matt asked. Mello's mouth fell open slightly, and he could only think one thing: _Is he asking me out? _"Uh, hang out or something?" Matt quickly added, and it looked to Mello as if he may be blushing slightly. "There's a carnival in town if you wanna go."

"Yeah, sure," Mello said with a large grin.

"Okay, uh, talk to you later then," Matt said, returning the smile. Mello nodded and closed the door, watching as Matt drove away.

He didn't care that Matt had amended what he had said, specifying that they would be 'hanging out.' _Going to a carnival together doesn't sound like just 'hanging out;' it sounds like a date._

He only turned to go in when he could no longer see Matt's car, feeling much more optimistic about his first day of training than he had earlier that morning. He'd finally managed to get a date with the redheaded DJ.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Yay! This story is officially out of hiatus! *throws confetti* The problem is…writing has been really slow… I'm really hoping to post chapter 6 on time, but at this point, I honestly don't know if that will be possible. I know what you're all thinking: a six month long hiatus, and now she might not even post on time? I'm really, really, really sorry! If I had more time, this wouldn't be an issue… I'll most certainly do my best to get chapter 6 done asap though! :D

On sort of a side note, Mello's motorcycle is _not _the one he has in either the manga or the anime. There is no way he would be able to afford something that expensive, so I gave him something I felt to be more appropriate for his situation in the story. Matt's car, however, _is _supposed to be the same one he has in the manga: a 1968 Chevrolet Camaro RS/SS. In the anime, he has something else, a 1970 Chevelle I think it is, but I could be wrong about that.

One last thing: something unexpected happened while I was away…this story somehow managed to reach 50 reviews! Thank you so much to everyone who contributed! :3

**A special thanks to the following reviewers (from chapter 4 as well as my hiatus announcement):  
><strong>Midnightkisses10, NessaYume, ConfettiCrazy, TrickledFingers, crayola-writer, Aim-For-The-Head, EndlessStorm, Mustached Kira, Sadique13, fadedanger, Tori-Color-Bastia, death2society, ViKsAtA, KITTY LOVES MATTXMELLO


	6. Chapter 6: Heights

Matt: Fall Silently by Ephixa Ft. Veela  
>Mello: Dark Blue by Jack's Mannequin<p>

**Chapter 6: Heights**

"No, I don't like it. It looks like you're trying too hard," Misa said with a wave of her hand, dismissing him to go try again.

"Fine then. Why don't _you_ pick out something for me to wear," Mello returned, finally getting fed up with her demands. He appreciated her offer to help, but this was his date after all, not hers. Or presumably a date as nothing had been said over the past couple days to convince him otherwise.

Although he and Matt hadn't seen each other face to face much since he'd given Mello a ride to work, they'd spent a lot of time texting each other, finalizing their plans for the weekend and talking about various other random things.

"I already told you what I thought you should wear, but you didn't like my idea," she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Yeah, well I'm not wearing that awful leather outfit to a carnival."

"At least then he'd know what you were after," she said with a devious smirk and a wink.

"So then you agree that it screams 'prostitute?'" he asked, raising an eyebrow at her, surprised that she would finally admit it. He looked at her expectantly, waiting for whatever retort she would come up with, but it never came. She only started giggling madly. "What?" he demanded, not seeing what was so funny about this.

"You didn't deny it!" she said excitedly. "You've thought about having sex with him!"

"…So?" he said, trying to just brush it off as unimportant, though he could feel his cheeks start to burn. So what if he had? It's not like it really mattered anyway.

"You man whore!" she said, playfully throwing a pillow at him from the couch.

"At least I don't go home with random guys…" he grumbled.

"Oh, and I do?" she asked, feigning offense, "'Cause I know you're not talking about our little prude, Kiyomi."

Takada looked up at them from over her newspaper upon hearing her name. "Hmm?"

"Nothing," Misa said to her, but instead of going back to her newspaper, she folded it up and tossed it to the coffee table.

"Oh, is that what you're wearing on your date?" Takada asked him before Misa had a chance to continue. "It looks nice." Mello looked at her in disbelief, temporarily distracted from his and Misa's conversation. _I think that's the first nice thing she's ever said to me…unless she was being sarcastic…_

"Just give me the next thing," he said, turning back to Misa. "He's gonna be here soon." Even if Takada wasn't being sarcastic, he wasn't sure that he trusted her judgment.

"Fine," she sighed and turned to dig around his suitcase a bit before throwing a white, black, and red plaid button down shirt at him. "Keep those jeans on and try this." He caught the shirt and resigned himself to the bathroom to try on the fifth option he'd had so far, hearing her ask Takada, "You don't think I'm a slut, do you?" He didn't hear Takada's response, nor did he care.

He closed the bathroom door behind him and removed the shirt he was wearing, revealing his rosary under it. He looked at it in the mirror, the metal cross resting against his bare skin. A part of him hated it, wanted to destroy it and forget everything it represented, but what would that accomplish? Even if he did get rid of it, he doubted he would ever be able to forget. No, it was better to keep it with him as a reminder.

He pulled the plaid shirt on, slowly buttoning it up, once again hiding the rosary and pushed the door open, hoping that this would be the shirt that would allow Misa to declare him ready to go. "So? Anything to complain about with this one?" he asked her.

"Hmm… Roll up the sleeves," she commanded. He did so, exposing his forearms, and waited for her to make her judgment. She looked him over, moving her finger in a circular motion, instructing him to do a turn. He held his arms out at his sides, turning in place once. "Well…" she started, and he thought she might send him back with another outfit to try on. "I like it," she proclaimed with a satisfied grin before gesturing to his clothes, which were strewn all over the couch and floor, "Now come clean this up."

"What? You're the one who threw my stuff all over the living room!" he said angrily. Misa opened her mouth to say something but didn't get a chance. There was a knock at the door.

"He's here!" she squealed, bouncing up and down slightly on the couch, clapping her hands excitedly. Mello looked from her, to the door, to his clothes on the floor; he didn't want Matt to see this mess.

To his horror, Misa suddenly got up and bounded towards the door. "Misa, no!" She turned to him, her hand still on the doorknob, and gave him an irritated look as if he'd denied her some great satisfaction by interrupting her. "Distract him for a minute," he told her, not caring if she was upset or not, "and don't let him in until I have this cleaned up."

"Aww, worried what Mattie will think?" she teased. "Alright, alright," she sighed, seeing the exasperated look he was giving her. She opened the door a crack and slipped out, closing it behind her.

The second she did, he went to work, running around the living room, collecting his discarded clothing. He wished Misa wouldn't have decided to throw the rejects over her shoulder as she'd rummaged through his suitcase.

Takada was watching him with an amused look on her face. If she was just going to sit there, the least she could do was give him a hand, but he thought better of asking her to help. Convincing her to do him a favor would be more trouble than it was worth.

Having grabbed the last thing, he dropped the bundle of clothing into his suitcase and closed the top, not bothering to zip it. Everything he owned would probably be wrinkled by the time he got home, but he would have to deal with it; wrinkled clothes were better than Matt seeing them scattered across the entire room.

He ran to the door and threw it open, not intending to use quite so much force. The first thing he noticed was the look of surprise on Matt's face which slowly faded, a small half-smile replacing it.

"Oh good," Misa said, momentarily distracting Mello, "you're _finally_ ready. I was just telling Matt how much time you put into getting ready for this."

"Thanks, Misa," he said flatly. _Great. Now he's gonna think I'm super high maintenance or something._

"You're welcome. Have fun," she said with a devious smirk before disappearing into the apartment.

"Uh, all ready?" Matt asked, brushing his bangs out of his goggle covered eyes a bit, the awkward little half-smile returning to his lips.

"Yeah," he nodded, and they started towards the elevator. "I, uh, really didn't take that long to get ready," he added hesitantly, which elicited a small laugh from Matt.

"Why should I care how long it took you?" he said with a shrug and pushed the down button. "You're here, ahren'tcha?"

Mello glanced over at Matt who was staring at the digital display above the large metal doors as the numbers slowly rose to tell them that the elevator was on its way up to get them. He swore he could see a light pink tint creep up into Matt's cheeks as he said that, and he smiled to himself.

He could tell it was going to be a good day.

• • •

Mello was starting to have serious doubts about his ability to read Matt. Sure, he really hadn't known him that long, and it wasn't like it was an exact science anyway, but he'd still been pretty sure that when Matt had suggested they hang out, that he was actually asking him out on a date. Even that morning, he'd been certain that Matt had acted nervous, and if they really were just two friends hanging out, there would be no reason for him to act that way.

It wasn't that he wasn't having a good time spending the day with Matt. On the contrary, it was the best day he'd had since he'd arrived in California, even though things had started out a bit awkwardly. As always, it had taken them a little while to remember how to have a conversation with each other. That seemed to be the pattern they had fallen into and really wasn't all that big of a problem in Mello's eyes, at least not immediately.

The problem was that it really did feel like they were just hanging out.

Every time Mello tried to get closer to Matt, it was like he shrunk away almost on instinct. It was more that frustrating to try to flirt with Matt only to have him start acting flustered and then say something to change the subject.

He remembered how excited he'd been that morning, how hopeful he'd been that by the end of the day he'd actually be in a relationship with Matt. Now that the sun was starting to set, he had little hope left.

Which meant it was time to try something he probably wouldn't normally do.

"Matt?" he tried, but the redhead was too enthralled in the balloon dart toss he was still desperately trying to win after already devoting twenty dollars to it.

The only response he received was a distracted "Hmm?" as Matt carefully took aim, chewing on the end of the stick his corn dog had been on.

"Do you maybe want to-" he started, but it was clear Matt wasn't paying attention.

"Dammit!" he exclaimed, interrupting Mello when the last of his set of darts hit in between two balloons and bounced off the board. "I thought video games were supposed to improve hand-eye coordination or some shit like that," he said shaking his head in defeat, his bangs flopping down over his eyes. "You wanna give it a shot?" he asked Mello, tossing the corn dog stick in a nearby trash bin.

"Uh, no… but I was thinking, do you want to go on the Ferris wheel?" Mello asked, looking at Matt expectantly. He didn't even really like the Ferris wheel, but the day was almost over, and he was running out of options. It was cliché, but it just might work. He needed to know if Matt actually felt the same way or if he was reading too much into the offer to 'hang out,' and Matt wouldn't be able to evade him anymore if they were enclosed together in one of the small cars.

Matt instantly looked uneasy upon hearing his suggestion. "The, uh, Ferris wheel?"

"Yeah," Mello said, a bit worried that Matt would just flat out decline, shooting down what he was sure to be his last hope. "All the lights from the city should look pretty cool from up there."

"Uh, right… um, y-yeah, sure," Matt managed, licking his lips nervously. He instantly went to pull out a cigarette, lighting it and inhaling intently.

Matt seemed to hang back a bit as they started towards the Ferris wheel which, like everything else at the carnival, had been lit up with hundreds of light bulbs now that the sun was down, only a low glow still on the western horizon. He was so clearly very reluctant that it made Mello wonder if Matt was really that opposed to doing something with him that could potentially be romantic. _Maybe he's really not into me like I thought…_

They continued towards the Ferris wheel anyway, Mello deciding that he might as well go through with it, just in case.

They reached the line, and Mello looked up at the giant metal wheel as it slowed down before glancing back over at Matt who had smoked the cigarette down to the filter. He took one more drag on it and flicked the butt to the ground, running the bottom of his shoe over it to put it out. Matt's hand kept going back to the pocket which held his pack of cigarettes, and Mello could tell that he wanted another.

He couldn't figure why Matt was so anxious. Sure, he'd acted nervous on and off all day, but nothing like this. _He can't be this nervous just because we're gonna be alone together; we've been alone before, and it's not like I'm gonna molest him on the Ferris wheel…_

But as the line started to move, Matt only began to fidget even more until they were ushered into one of the cars. Mello sat down opposite him as the gate on the side of the car was shut. The Ferris wheel lurched to life, moving to bring the next car into position for another set of passengers to get on, and Matt no longer only looked nervous, but a look of panic had taken over.

"Are you okay?" Mello asked, suddenly worried.

"N-no, I-" but the Ferris wheel started moving again, taking them higher into the air, and Matt let out a sound that could only be described as a squeak, his hands shooting out to grip the metal sides of the car, his knuckles turning white. "I'm afraid of heights," he finished, glancing up at Mello with wide eyes.

"You are?" Mello asked, shocked. "But you were fine on the roller coasters."

"It's different," Matt said, not moving his eyes from the floor. "When I'm on a roller coaster, it's like I don't have time to think about it or somethin'. I-I can't explain it. It's just…different." They started moving again, this time continuing to climb higher rather than stopping for more people to get on.

"Why did you agree to this then?"

"I don't fuckin' know, okay?" Matt shot out. "It seemed like you wanted to, so… I dunno… I'm really bad at this."

"Bad at what?" Mello asked hesitantly, trying to make his voice as gentle as he could. It didn't seem like Matt was making much sense to him, but he didn't want to upset him any further; he already felt bad enough for being the reason Matt was in this situation.

"People."

"You're bad at…people?"

"Yeah. I never know how to act. I wanted to do somethin' special with you today, and I fucked everythin' up." He glanced up from the floor at Mello, but quickly looked back down to his feet. "Oh God," he gritted out, his chest raising and falling faster, evidently having seen just how high up they were.

Matt's hand went to his pocket, fumbling to get his pack of cigarettes out. He managed to get one out, placing it between his lips, but when he went to light it, his trembling hands dropped the lighter. It hit the floor and came to rest next to Mello's feet. "No, don't move!" Matt said, his hands grabbing hold of the sides of the car again when Mello bent to pick it up, his cigarette threatening to fall from his lips. Only once Mello had slowly sat back up did Matt hesitantly remove one of his hands from the metal sides and return it to the pack.

"It's not your fault," Mello tried to comfort him, afraid that he may start hyperventilating.

"Yes, it is. Every time we stahrted to get closer, I got all nervous and stahrted actin' weird." Mello couldn't argue with that; it was a pretty accurate description of how their day had gone. He would have to take a different approach to try to calm Matt down.

"What are you majoring in?" he asked in an attempt to distract him.

"What?"

"You never told me what you're majoring in. Probably something with computers?"

"Uh, yeah. Computer science."

"So…then what do you want to do, software programming?"

"Well, I _want_ to make music—that's why I moved out to California—but if that doesn't work out, I want to design video games." Mello was happy to see that Matt no longer looked like he was about ready to have a panic attack, although he still did look tense. "What about you?" he asked, risking another small glance up, this time with more success, though that could have been attributed to the fact that they were much closer to the ground then they had been the last time.

"What do I want to do? Not a clue. I haven't even decided on a major yet," he shrugged. It wasn't that he hadn't put a lot of thought into it—he had, in fact, put _a lot_ of thought into what he wanted to do with his life, but no matter what the career was, he couldn't imagine doing it.

"Well, whaddya like to do?"

"I…" but he really wasn't sure how to answer that question. The past four years of his life he'd spent preparing to leave home. He'd thrown himself into his school work, doing everything in his power to be at the top of his class in the hope that he'd be able to get a scholarship to pay for his classes at university. Any spare time he'd had went to working so he would be able to save up enough to live off of when he moved out.

After four years of this, he'd graduated second in his class, topped only by his cousin, Near. He had procured an excellent scholarship, and although he hadn't been able to save up quite as much as he would have liked, it was enough to start.

He'd told himself that all the sacrifices he'd made would be worth it in the end, but now that he'd made it through, he was no closer to deciding what he wanted to do than when he'd started high school. "I guess I liked my English classes…" he finally managed.

"Then do somethin' with that."

"Right," he said with a snort of amusement. "The only thing you do with an English degree is teach, and there is no way in hell I'm gonna be an English teacher. After about a week trying to teach those idiot teenagers, I'd probably end up killing my students." He was surprised when Matt let out a low chuckle. "What?" he demanded, not sure what about this was funny; he was being completely serious.

"How old ahre you anyway? You sound like you're about thirty. 'Idiot teenagers,'" he echoed with a small laugh.

"Eighteen," Mello said, rolling his eyes.

"So _you're_ a teenager."

"But I'm not an idiot," Mello said flatly. He was glad that Matt seemed to be getting a kick out of what he'd said—he _had_ been trying to distract him from his fear of heights, after all—but he was a bit offended, though he wasn't entirely sure why. "How old are you then? I mean, you have to be older than me; you've already been here a year."

"Nope. Turned eighteen back in February."

"February…so you're younger than I am?"

"I guess," he shrugged. "If you're birthday's before then."

" December 13th. But…"

"I skipped a grade in elementary school," Matt said, answering Mello's unasked question.

"Oh." With those words, he found himself being jealous of Matt. He'd worked so hard in school, yet he'd never been able to get ahead like that. Though he knew in elementary school it had little to do with how much effort you put into your work and more to do with state mandated IQ tests. Or at least that's how Near had ended up in the same grade as him.

"So, uh, how'd you end up goin' to UCLA?" Matt asked, bringing Mello out of his thoughts.

"Uh, well, they offered me a scholarship, and Misa was already going there and said I could live with her, so… it seemed like the best option I had."

"Well I'm really glad you decided to move out here," Matt said, attempting another glance up from his feet to give Mello one of his dorky little smiles.

"Yeah. So am I," Mello returned, a smile spreading across his own face. He wanted more than anything to kiss Matt then, but he didn't get the chance.

It could have been that Matt saw that they were once again nearing the top of the Ferris wheel or the unexpected boom of the fireworks starting to go off overhead or some combination of the two, but he jumped in his seat, jostling the small car and making it sway back and forth in the air slightly. "Holy fuck!" Matt swore, his eyes returning to his feet. His breathing picked up again, and he tightened his grip on the sides of the car as if his life depended on it.

"Matt…" Mello said gently.

"Please. Make it stop," Matt pleaded. And while it wasn't in Mello's power to stop the Ferris wheel, he could hopefully calm him back down a little.

"Mattie, look at me," he said softly, surprised when the words left his mouth. He'd said 'Mattie' rather than 'Matt' without even thinking about it and wondered if it was because he'd heard Misa call him that before he'd left that morning. But if Matt had noticed the difference, he didn't acknowledge it, instead only shaking his head 'no.' "Mattie…" Mello tried again, deliberately this time. He put a hand under Matt's chin and lifted it slightly so that his face was no longer turned towards the floor of the car, though his eyes were still clamped shut behind the orange lenses of his goggles. "Trust me," Mello breathed out, leaning in closer. Matt's eyes slowly opened, staring directly into Mello's, not daring to look anyplace else. "Listen to me," Mello started, "It's almost over, okay? We're slowing down. All you have to do is wait till it's our turn to get off. You can do this…"

Matt nodded and then did something unexpected. He leaned forward, and for a second, Mello was convinced that he was going to kiss him. Instead, he rested his head on Mello's shoulder, hiding his face in the crook of his neck. "Thank you," Matt whispered.

"No problem," Mello said softly, his hand going to Matt's back and rubbing it gently, feeling as his fingertips moved over the notches of Matt's spine.

He was almost disappointed when their car reached the ground, though he was glad for Matt's sake. "We're there," he told Matt as the Ferris wheel moved them into position. "You can look now," he added reluctantly.

Matt lifted his head up and watched intently as the carnival worker opened the gate on the side of the car for them. The second he could, he scooped his lighter up from the floor and rushed to get his feet back on solid ground, Mello following behind him much less eagerly.

He half expected Matt to kiss the ground, he looked so happy to be off the Ferris wheel. Instead, he turned to Mello and took his hand. "Thank you," he said again, his sincerity showing in his eyes.

Mello didn't say anything, only pulling his hand from Matt's. He gave Mello a confused look, but his hands went to remove Matt's goggles, pushing them up to rest in his messy red hair. Although the dark circles were still visible under Matt's eyes just as they had been each of the other two times he'd seen him without his goggles, his beautiful green eyes stood out to Mello. He loved Matt's eyes.

Mello's heart beat furiously in his chest as he moved closer. He leaned in, though he stopped suddenly, hesitating, inches away. But a second later, Matt had closed the gap between them, crushing his lips to Mello's. Matt's lips were dry and a bit chapped against his own, but Mello didn't care; they were perfect.

They broke apart for a moment, but Mello moved back in for a softer kiss, his lips moving against Matt's gently, his arms wrapping around Matt's thin frame.

People continued to pass by around them, but they were of little consequence to Mello. The only thing that mattered to him at that moment was the man he held in his arms.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I'm so excited I _finally_ got to write this chapter. It was inspired by something one of my friends suggested when I asked what would be some cute date ideas for Matt and Mello. That was all the way back during my first fanfic, "Dreams," probably close to a year and a half ago. Problem was, it never really fit in with any of my stories. Well, until now :3

So what do you think, guys? Super adorable? Way too sappy? I wanted to make it cute but not sickeningly so. How did I do?

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>TrickledFingers, snow867, Deathnotefinatic13, brightnight003, Lotta Devon, Midnightkisses10, Sadique13, puddingflaun, AthenaRulestheEarth


	7. Chapter 7: Initiative

Matt: Strobot (Netsky Remix) by Shameboy  
>Mello: Reach by Eyes Set to Kill<p>

**Chapter 7: Initiative**

Mello heard a crash behind him, and without even turning around, he knew it was Matsuda. He didn't understand how the poor guy planned to keep his job if he couldn't even get near a coffee cup without spilling something.

"I'm sorry!" he heard Matsuda blurt out and turned to see him scramble to mop the half-made drink up off the floor.

"Sorry?" Mello turned to see their boss stomp over. "This is the fifth thing you've dropped today! Customers aren't going to wait for you to make them three drinks because you messed up the first two."

"I-it w-won't happen again, Mr. Ross!" Matsuda managed to get out, still wiping at the floor furiously.

"It better not. You spill one more thing and you're fired," he said before moving away to inspect someone else's work. The second he'd turned around, Mello grabbed a towel and bent down to help Matsuda.

"Don't. You're going to get in trouble too," the dark haired man warned.

"Don't worry about it. I can take care of myself," Mello said, tossing the now empty plastic cup in the trash. The worse Ross could do was fire him, and he was starting not to care about it one way or the other.

Their boss, Rod Ross, was a large, intimidating man who looked more like he belonged in a boxing ring than running a coffee shop in LA. He'd been in charge of training the new recruits from the start, despite each of the seven trainees hoping that someone else would take over once they got to the drink preparation stage of their training. Or in Mello's case, he'd hoped Ross would get carted off by the police for whatever illegal activities he was sure he was involved in.

Mello probably would have quit by now had he not developed the need to prove to Ross that he wasn't going to back down and take his shit. After that first day of training, he'd certainly considered quitting but had ultimately decided against it. He wasn't going to show any sort of weakness towards such a self-entitled dick. Besides, training would only take a couple weeks and then he'd be free of the dictator. Well, unless he was scheduled to work at the same time as him, but he'd deal with that if and when the time came.

"Thanks, Mello…" Matsuda almost whispered, glancing over his shoulder at Ross who was currently tearing apart some poor girl's Frappuccino, seemingly finding every possible way to criticize her.

"Hey, no problem. Just next time, make sure you don't spill something _right_ in front of our overlord," he said, giving him a reassuring smile.

"Heh, right…" a dejected Matsuda said before starting over, now on his third attempt at a Frappuccino.

Mello couldn't understand why he was taking it so hard, but he shrugged it off and returned to his station. He was sure Matsuda would be fine; he always left training disheartened and returned the next day with his determined and upbeat attitude intact.

He wasn't quite sure how, but somewhere along the way, he and Matsuda had sort of became friends. Or, well, he'd made the mistake of sitting next to Matsuda on the first day of training and had had to deal with Matsuda deciding to befriend him. Not that he minded all that much. It wasn't like he had that many friends in the area, only Misa and Matt really and maybe Takada if she was in a decent mood, which wasn't very often. Besides, at the very least, Matsuda's clumsiness was kind of entertaining.

Mello let out a sigh, rinsing some of Matsuda's spilt drink off of his hands. Matt… He wasn't entirely sure where his relationship stood with Matt. He hadn't seen him since the carnival three days ago, and while he wouldn't have been that worried about it under normal circumstances, Matt hadn't responded to any of his texts either.

He'd been ecstatic that night. Matt had given him a quick kiss good night when they had reached Mello's floor and said that they should do something again sometime. Mello had been sure that was a good sign, and Misa had reassured him of that when he'd gotten back to the apartment. For once, he didn't mind her prodding him for information; he'd been more than happy to oblige.

So when he'd texted Matt the next morning and never received any sort of response back, he'd been a little more than confused. After much deliberation, he'd even decided to bring it up to Misa, but all she'd said was "He's probably just busy." She did know Matt better than he did, so he supposed if she wasn't concerned, he shouldn't be either, but that didn't change the fact that he still anxious about the matter.

Actually, rather than reassuring him, it made Mello feel that Misa was hiding something from him, that maybe Matt had said something to her about their date and Misa was just covering for him… Or maybe he was just overreacting. That was probably the more likely explanation. He was sure that their date had gone well, at least from his perspective, so he shouldn't have anything to worry about.

"You. Let me see yours." He jumped when he heard Ross's gruff voice behind him and instantly hated himself for it. It wasn't that he was intimidated by the guy, just that he hadn't been expecting him to be there, and it had surprised him. Unfortunately, the smirk he found on Ross's face when he turned around told Mello that he suspected the former. He only glared up at the much larger man and pushed the Frappuccino he'd made toward him. His boss picked the cup up, looking it over before taking a sip, the corners of his mouth turning downwards. For a second, Mello was worried that he'd messed it up somehow, maybe forgotten to add something or hadn't blended it correctly or- "Not bad," Ross said reluctantly and moved on.

Mello couldn't help but smile at this, feeling a certain satisfaction in Ross admitting that he had done a good job. Alright, so those weren't his exact words, but Mello would take the compliment where he could get it. But as he stood there, leaning against the counter as he waited for Ross to continue his rounds, Mello's grin slowly faded.

He still wasn't really sure what he should do about Matt, and he was certain he was over thinking things. Though he supposed he really only had two options: either wait for Matt to talk to him or take things into his own hands and go find the evasive redhead himself. And the first option wasn't all that appealing to him. He'd already waited long enough.

• • •

Mello quickly rapped at the door and waited for Matt to answer. He let out a sigh, trying to decide what he should say when Matt answered, but he didn't get very far before realizing that he was still wearing his green Starbucks apron. He undid the tie in the back and slipped it over his head, but with nowhere to put it, he ended up just slinging it over his shoulder.

He watched the door intently, expecting it to open at any second. _I could just ask him if he wants to do something tomorrow night or something. That would work. And it would be better than flat out asking him why he hasn't been answering my texts…_

But it seemed like it was taking an awfully long time for Matt to come to the door. _Shit. Maybe he's not home._

He'd been so intent on going to talk to Matt that he hadn't even considered that he might not be home, though now that he was standing in front of his door, it seemed a very likely possibility. He took a step away, about to give up, but then decided to try again on the off chance that Matt was home and just hadn't heard him the first time. He knocked on the door again, a bit harder this time.

Nothing. It was quite disappointing, though Mello wasn't entirely sure why. Yes, he was starting to develop real feelings for Matt, and he did want to spend time with him, but that didn't mean that he needed to keep tabs on him or anything like that. And standing there just outside of Matt's apartment, staring at the door expectantly, felt exactly like that.

With one last glance at the door, he turned back towards the elevator. If Matt didn't want to answer his texts, that was up to him. There was little Mello could do about that it seemed.

Mello heard the click of a door and looked back over his shoulder to see a confused looking Matt staring down the hall, a cigarette set loosely between his lips. "Mello? What ahre you doin' here?" he asked, taking the cigarette between his middle and forefingers, blowing smoke out into the hall.

"I, uh, just wanted to see if you were free tomorrow?" Realizing that he was still halfway down the hall to the elevator, he took a few steps back towards Matt's apartment.

"Oh, um…" he started, licking his lips, "what day is tomorrow?"

"Wednesday."

"Fuck." A look of disdain came over his face before he asked, "Already?"

"Um, yeah?" Mello responded, a bit confused by Matt's reaction. As far as he knew, Matt hadn't gotten fired from his job, so he should have to know what day it was in order to knew when he had to go in for work.

Matt took another drag on his cigarette and let it out in a disgusted sigh. "I have to go to work tomorrow," he grumbled, shaking his head, and Mello could feel his heart drop. He'd finally gotten a hold of Matt, and it didn't appear as if he was even all that interested in talking to him. Although Matt did seem a little out of it. "But," Matt added, "we could get dinner or somethin' if you wanted. Like around six? That should gimme enough time to come back home and change after work."

"Uh, yeah, that would be great," Mello said probably with a bit too much enthusiasm. Matt let out a little chuckle at his response, but it was cut off by a large yawn.

"Right, well I'll text you when I'm on my way home from work."

"Really?" Mello asked, without even thinking, a bit skeptical.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I?"

"Well, uh…" He'd decided that he wasn't going to bring up Matt not responding to his texts, and that one simple word had destroyed his plan. _Why didn't I just say 'okay'? That would have made things so much easier…_ Deciding there was nothing he could say that would convincingly cover for himself, he regrettably went with the truth. "Well, I sent you a couple texts, and you never responded to any of them."

"Oh. Naw, I wouldn't have. My phone was off," Matt said simply, as if it was obvious.

"Since Sunday?"

"Yeah, I didn't want the distraction." But when Mello gave him a look of confusion, he apparently realized that he needed to elaborate. "I've been workin' on my music."

"Oh…that's…cool." He felt foolish for worrying over something that had turned out to be nothing, and his rather awkward response did nothing to make him feel better. It made perfect sense that Matt would want to focus on his music rather than having his cell phone interrupt him every five seconds.

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that. I always lose track of time when I work on my music," he said with an apologetic little smile before letting out another yawn.

"It's fine. No big deal."

"Right, well…I should, uh…" he said before nodding in the direction of the interior of his apartment, the door open only wide enough for him to lean against the door frame. "So I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah. See you tomorrow," Mello returned, forcing a smile. Matt nodded but then hesitated, looking like he wanted to say something else. He evidently decided against it because he returned the cigarette to his mouth and pulled the door closed, disappearing into the apartment.

Mello stood there for a second, trying to process everything that had just happened. He did feel a bit better knowing that the reason Matt hadn't texted him back was because his phone had been off and not because he'd been ignoring his texts. Even so, Matt had seemed distant to say the least.

He wasn't exactly sure what he'd been expecting, but the entire thing had seemed odd to him… Though he supposed he should be happy. He'd taken the initiative and had done what he'd set out to do; for all intents and purposes, he'd been successful. He had another date with Matt tomorrow, so why wasn't he absolutely thrilled?

Noticing he was still just standing there at Matt's door, he slowly moved towards the elevator, realizing that he could have taken the stairs rather than waiting for the elevator just to go down one level only after the doors had closed. Not that it really mattered; he didn't really feel like putting forth that much effort.

He dragged his feet to the apartment, pushing the door open, deciding that he'd probably just veg out on his couch/bed for a little while since he didn't have anything else to do all day. Unfortunately, it didn't seem like that would be an option.

The second Mello was inside the door, he was met by Misa's squealing. "Mello! Mello! Mello! Mello! You will never guess what happened today!" she started, hopping up from the couch.

"What?" he said flatly, knowing there was no way around this other than appeasing her.

"I got a modeling job!" And second later, she had launched herself at him, wrapping her arms and legs around his torso in a hug that made him stumble backwards.

"That's great," he said, trying his best to sound enthusiastic. He really was happy for her, but his encounter with Matt had left him distracted. He knew that she'd been trying to find a job modeling for some time now to help pay for her classes, and at least her habit of hanging around the apartment idly seemed a bit more justified now that she would have a real source of income.

"It's not acting, but it's a start!" she continued, unattaching herself from Mello and dragging him to the couch. He flopped down onto the cushions, listening to Misa's excited rambling. "It's for a lipstick ad. The L'Oreal representative said that I'm adorable and have the perfect face for their new line of sheer lipstick!" She let out another high pitched squeal and threw her arms around him again. "Mello, I'm going to be in magazines and on billboards and-" She stopped suddenly, pulling back slightly to give him a suddenly very serious look. "Mello, I could be in _Vogue_."

"That's amazing," he said, doing his best to put a smile on his face.

"I don't think you understand," she said, her voice still serious. "It's _Vogue_, Mello. _Vogue_. People all over the world read _Vogue_."

"Congratulations."

She let out a frustrated sigh, evidently getting fed up with his lack of enthusiasm. "No, it's-" But she stopped suddenly, a look of concern overcoming her features. "Are you okay? You're acting…weird."

He was actually a little surprised she even noticed. Under normal circumstances, she could usually pick up on things with him fairly quickly, but not after something like this happening, not when she was acting even more self-absorbed than normal. Not that he blamed her for acting that way; it was great news.

He ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh. He didn't really want to talk about it. Well, he did, but he didn't want to ruin Misa's moment.

"Mello, what's wrong?" she tried again. "Did something happen at work?"

"No, work was…fine." It was best just to leave it at that. Sure, his boss was a dick, but he could deal with that.

"Then what happened? You were fine this morning," she said, her voice full of concern.

"Remember when I said how Matt never texted me back?" he ventured reluctantly.

"Yeah, and I already told you that you don't have to worry about that. I'm sure he's just busy."

"I know… but I was thinking about it at work today, and I decided to go talk to him…"

"Oh no, you didn't bring up him not texting you back, did you?" she asked, biting her lip.

"Well, it…kinda came up."

"Mello! What are you doing? I told you everything was fine. Now he's gonna think you're clingy."

"He didn't act like it was a big deal…" he said, trying to look on the bright side.

"I hope you're right…because that's why he broke up with Sayu. He said she was _really_ clingy." Mello's heart dropped at these words. _Why couldn't I have just left things alone? He would have texted me back eventually…_ "There's something you should know about Matt," she continued, and although her words instantly set him on edge, wondering what it could possibly be, he would have never expected what she said next. "He's basically married to his music. He will never cheat on you, but he will give you every reason to be jealous. From what I've seen, his music always comes first. I'm sorry," she added, "I should have told you before."

"Yeah, that would have been nice," he said flatly, though he really wasn't mad at Misa for not telling him; he was mad at himself for not listening to her in the first place.

"Well, look on the bright side," she said, offering him a reassuring smile, "he was probably pretty distracted, right?"

"Yeah…how'd you know?"

"Because he always gets like that. I'm thinking since he didn't text you that he had his phone off, working on his music, which means he been at his computer for like three days straight now, remixing things or whatever he does. If it makes you feel any better, he was probably so tired that he was only half paying attention to whatever you said. Cheer up; I'm sure it's not as bad as you think," she said, offering him a smile.

"Yeah…and he did bring up getting dinner tomorrow, so maybe you're right." He watched as Misa's jaw dropped, any concern she had being replaced by shock.

"Jerk!" she said, grabbing one of the small pillows on the couch and hitting him over the head with it. "You have a date with him, and you didn't think to tell me?"

"Well, I-" he tried, but Misa didn't seem to want to hear it.

"No, instead you just let me worry this entire time," she interrupted, crossing her thin arms over her chest and giving him an angry pout. "See if I give you any sympathy ever again."

"Yeah, well if you knew why he wasn't texting me back, you could've told me," he grumbled. It bothered him the way Misa was acting; she could be such a hypocrite sometimes. "And it's not like I was trying to keep it from you. I was kinda preoccupied with everything else."

She let out a small huff and shook her head. "Stop worrying," she chided. "You have a date with him. You should be happy," she said, a small smile slipping through her angry countenance.

"But-"

"No!" and she was suddenly leaning over him, her thumbs on either of his cheeks, pushing them upwards, forcing him to smile. "Be happy!" she commanded.

Despite his best efforts, the corners of his lips turned upward on their own at the sight of Misa's determined expression. She may be overdramatic or pushy at times, but she really did have his best interests at heart and did want to help. If she said he didn't have anything to worry about, she was probably right. She had been the last time, after all. "Alright, alright. See? Happy," he said with a small laugh.

"Are you sure? No more grumpy Mel-Mel?" she asked, skeptical.

"No more grumpy Mel-Mel," he said, deciding that now wasn't the best time to argue against her annoying nickname for him. Besides, he didn't hate it nearly as much as he often made it seem.

"Yay!" she exclaimed, finally releasing his face and throwing her hands up in the air. "So where are you getting dinner?" she asked, a huge grin on her face.

But just as he said, "I don't know," the door was pushed open, and the second Takada stepped in, Misa jumped up and ran to give her a hug.

"Kiyomi!" she squealed throwing her arms around the other woman who fell back against the door from the force of Misa's tackle/hug. "Guess what, guess what!" she demanded, releasing the very shocked looking Takada in favor of hopping up and down excitedly, her pigtails flopping around as she did so.

"Uh…" was all Takada got out before Misa became impatient and opted just to tell her.

"I got a modeling job today!"

"That's great!" Takada said, giving Misa a much gentler hug than she had been greeted with, but then a sly smile came over her face as she pulled away. "So now that you have a job, you won't just be sitting around the apartment in your underwear anymore?" she teased.

"I wear clothes!" Misa returned defensively. "…Most of the time," she added hesitantly.

"Right," Takada said sarcastically, rolling her eyes. "But that's great! When do you start?"

"The photo shoot is next Friday," she said. "But that's not the only exciting news," she added, glancing over her shoulder at Mello and flashing him a smile. "Mel-Mel has another date with Mattie tomorrow!"

Takada looked much less excited about this bit of news than she had earlier, though a small grin did come over her features. "Oh, Mel-Mel is it now?" she teased, and he realized that must have been the first time she'd heard Misa call him that. He was never going to be able to live this down. "Do I get to call you that?" she asked innocently though he knew it was anything but.

"Absolutely not."

"But that's not fair," she said, ruffling his hair as she walked past him and sat down in the armchair. "Misa gets to call you that, so why don't I?"

"Because I like Misa better than you," he said flatly.

"Aw, Mel-Mel's being mean," she said, looking to Misa, doing a decent impression of the blonde girl.

"And Taki's being a bitch," he retorted, glaring at her.

"I told you not to call me that!"

"And I told you not to call me Mel-Mel!"

"Stop!" Misa yelled at them, which got their attention. They both turned to look at her. "Kiyomi, only I get to call Mello Mel-Mel, and Mello, don't call Kiyomi Taki." Mello was a bit taken aback, surprised that Misa was being the mature one out of the three of them for once. "Now let's get back to what's important here," she continued. "I'm going to be a model!" she exclaimed, doing a twirl in the middle of the living room. _Maybe Misa acting mature was too much to ask…_ Although, at the very least, she had effectively stopped him and Takada from fighting.

He listened as she continued to go on about how excited she was and how amazing being a model was going to be, deciding it was only fair considering she'd stopped to listen to his apparently unjustified concerns. And although he knew he should probably just take Misa's advice as she'd been right the first time, his worries still sat in the back of his mind.

Not that there was really anything he could do about it at the moment. So instead of fixating on it, he focused his attention on listening to Misa as she talked about her new modeling career, throwing Takada a glare every now and then for good measure.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** The past week has been absolutely hectic, but I actually managed to post on time! And even better, I sent chapter 8 to my beta last night! I seriously don't know how I wrote it so quickly seeing as I only started it Thursday afternoon; I'm pretty sure this is a new record for me :D

But yay, they have another date! How do you guys think it will go/what do you think will happen? :3

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>DarkAngelJudas, Deathnotefinatic13, snow867, kiki1070, brightnight003, TrickledFingers, Midnightkisses10, ConfettiCrazy, Evidence Of Rain, NessaYume, Lotta Devon, Mustached Kira, XxHeartlessKissxX, oJdelight56, Sadique13, and an anonymous reviewer


	8. Chapter 8: Pineapple

**Author's Note:** So, normally the songs I include at the top of each chapter are just sort of a little bonus that you can listen to if you want. However, I would seriously recommend listening to Matt's song when you get to the part of the chapter where it comes up; things will probably make a lot more sense if you do.

Okies, that's all. Enjoy! :D

* * *

><p>Matt: Pumped Up Kicks (Vaski Remix) by Foster the People<br>Mello: Hurricane by Something Corporate

**Chapter 8: Pineapple**

Mello stepped out from the back of the Starbucks, glad to be done with his training for the day. Another half a week; that's all he'd have to endure. Of course, he was better off than Matsuda; he could always just try to focus on that. "Maybe I should just give up and quit," Matsuda sighed as they made their way to the front door.

"What? Why? I thought you were doing better today."

"So did I, but Ross said my drink tasted like shit."

"I'm sure it wasn't that bad. Ross is a sadistic bastard. He _likes_ torturing us. Just ignore him for now. You'll get better," but even as the words left his mouth, Mello wasn't sure that Matsuda would be good enough by the time their training was over and he actually had to put his mediocre abilities to the test.

"Yeah, maybe you're right…" Matsuda said, but Mello wasn't paying attention. A certain redhead had just unexpectedly walked in the front door of Starbucks. As far as Mello knew, their plans hadn't changed: Matt was supposed to come get him at the apartment around six; it was only five, and Mello was pretty sure Starbucks hadn't magically transformed into his apartment.

Even so, he was happy to see Matt, had been looking forward to it all day. After his talk with Misa the day before, he felt much better about how things were going between the two of them, although he still wasn't entire sure how to define their relationship. One kiss didn't mean that they were dating or that Matt even wanted to be in a relationship. Well, technically they had kissed three times, but that still didn't really mean anything.

Mello started to raise his hand to wave to Matt but then had a better idea. "Mello, what are you doing?" Matsuda called after him as Mello hurried around the counter.

"Welcome to Starbucks," he greeted Matt from behind the cash register. "What can I get for you?" he continued, smiling at the look of surprise on Matt's face.

"Uh, well, I'm not here to get any cahfee," he said, playing along, pretending to look distractedly around the coffee shop, "I'm actually lookin' for someone that works here."

"Ah, well, that's probably a good thing, 'cause we don't serve _cah_fee," Mello teased, trying his best as Matt's accent, "_But_ we do have an extensive list of _cof_fees to choose from, if you're interested."

Matt opened his mouth to retort but stopped when Ross growled out, "What are you doing?" Mello turned to see not only the girl who was supposed to be working the cash register glaring at him with her arms crossed over her chest, but Ross stomping over in his direction, looking furious.

"Oh, uh, see you tomorrow, boss," he called over his shoulder, quickly making his leave. Once outside, he turned to see if Matt had followed him, but the redhead was still inside, now talking to his boss. He pulled himself away from the window, not wanting Ross to see him.

He stood there, waiting for Matt, becoming increasingly worried; the longer they were in there talking, the more he thought he wouldn't have a job when he went into work the next day. "What happened?" Mello demanded when Matt eventually did come out.

"Got a free coupon for you harassin' me," he said, waving it in the air, a grin on his face, and Mello's heart dropped. He really wasn't going to have a job come the next day. "Those were his words, not mine," he quickly added, "But don't worry, I told him you weren't botherin' me or anythin'. I don't think he'll give you a hahrd time about it."

"Are you kidding me? He'll give me more than a hard time; that's just how he is. Thanks for trying though," Mello said with a sigh as he followed Matt to the parking lot. He'd figure something out and deal with it tomorrow; for the time being, all he could do was forget about it and enjoy his time with Matt.

"I'm sure it's fine," Matt said with a shrug, "I don't even remember how many times my boss has threatened to fire me, and it hasn't happened yet."

"Yeah, but you're like a computer genius. Your boss would be an idiot to fire you."

"Maybe," Matt said, lifting up the hem of his shirt, which appeared to be a size too big for him, to get at the pocket that held his cigarettes. This was the first time Mello could remember that he hadn't seen him in either his work uniform or his usual stripes. Instead, he had on a black t-shirt that said 'Dirty & Filthy & Grimey & Dubstep' in large white lettering.

"Oh, um, did something happen at work today?" Mello asked, pulling his eyes away from the strange shirt, wondering what it meant.

"Huh? No, why?" he asked, shooting Mello a confused look as he slid into the driver's seat of his Camaro.

"Well, I thought you were supposed to be working later," he had barely gotten out before Matt started the car and loud electronic music started blaring from the speakers. Not expecting it, he jumped in his seat slightly, his heart beating hard against his ribs. Or maybe that wasn't his heart, maybe it was the music he could feel in his chest.

"Sorry 'bout that," Matt said, turning it down to a volume at which Mello could at least hear himself think and backing out of the parking space. "When I drive by myself, I usually leave the music up pretty loud."

"Yeah, I got that," Mello said, his tone flat.

Matt chuckled lightly at his response. "I love feelin' the bass in my chest. It's just about the best feelin' ever." Mello would have to disagree. "So, uh, what were you sayin'?"

"Oh, well, yesterday you said you had to work, and you wouldn't be ready till around six."

"Did I?" he asked, sounding surprised. "Naw, I got off work at three today. Sorry, I was really out of it yesterday. Hadn't slept in like three days."

"Seriously? Why?"

"I have a hahrd time sleepin' normally anyway, and then when I stahrt workin' on my music, I lose track of time and just don't really feel tired. Though that prob'ly has somethin' to do with the cahfee. I'm pretty sure I survived off nothin' but cahfee, cigarettes, and Monster for the past three days," Matt explained, sounding almost proud of himself. "I crashed last night though. Slept for fifteen hours straight. Hell, _almost_ slept through my alahrm this mornin'."

"How are you not dead?" Mello asked, only half joking, finally understanding why Matt seemed to perpetually have dark circles under his eyes.

"You know, sometimes I wonder," Matt said with a laugh. "But it works. I got a lot of good shit outta it even if I did have to call Misa this mornin' and ask why you stopped by my apahrtment yesterday."

"You talked to Misa this morning?"

"Yeah, why?" he asked, finishing his cigarette and smashing it down in the ashtray.

"She was just acting a bit weird when I was getting ready to leave." It finally made sense to him. That morning when Mello was getting ready, Misa had practically insisted that he walk to work. He hadn't really thought much of it as it was a beautiful day and traffic was always terrible anyway, but if she had told Matt to pick him up from work, that had to be why she had been so against him taking his motorcycle.

"She always acts kinda weird," he said with a shrug, tapping his fingers on the wheel to the beat of the music. But Matt seemed impatient the way he kept shifting in his seat and trying to look around the line of cars in front of them, weaving back and forth through traffic in an attempt to get wherever they were going faster.

"Ha, I don't think you have room to talk," Mello said jokingly. "You and your weird music and goggles. And that shirt," he added, still not having a clue what it could mean, though he figured it probably either had to do with computer stuff or Matt's music. Or possibly both, he supposed, as he didn't really know much of anything about either.

"You don't like my goggles?" he asked, honestly sounding offended.

"They're fine. It's just that most people don't go around wearing goggles all the time," he said, wishing he wouldn't have brought it up, though he wasn't sure why Matt would be so defensive about his goggles in the first place. "I didn't mean anything by it… I actually really like them," he added hesitantly, "They look really good on you."

"…Really?" Matt said, sounding surprised, glancing over at him and giving him that little half-smile of his that Mello was starting to love so much.

"Yeah," he said, smiling back at Matt, sincere in his compliment despite the fact that he did wish Matt wore them less if only so he could see his eyes better. "That shirt on the other hand…"

"What's wrong with my shirt?" he asked, glancing down at it, sounding confused rather than offended this time.

"It doesn't make any sense."

"Sure it does. Dirty, filthy, grimey dubstep," he said as if that somehow made it obvious.

"Nope, you might as well be speaking another language."

"Oh, that's right, I keep forgettin'," Matt said slowly, as if making a realization, "You don't listen to _good_ music." If not for the adorable, cheeky grin Matt gave him that let him know he was only joking around, Mello might have been offended.

"Right, _good_ music. At least the music I listen to has words," he shot back playfully.

"Alrighty. You want words? I'll find you somethin' with words," he said, picking up his iPod and scrolling through it. It made Mello nervous, the way Matt only seemed to be half paying attention to the road, considering that he was a pretty reckless driver to begin with. "'Kay, this is dubstep," he said, putting the iPod down and bringing his attention back to driving, "well, a dubstep remix, but it has words, so you can't complain."

Mello recognized the song as 'Pumped Up Kicks' from its original fairly quickly, but besides it sounding a bit techno-y, it didn't even seem that different. "I still don't-"

"Just wait for the bass to drop," Matt said, sounding excited, as if it would all make sense then, and Mello thought better of asking him what it meant for the 'bass to drop.' He sat there, waiting for something to happen, and after about a minute, there was a very notable change in the song. "Hear that? It bein' dirty or filthy or grimey or whatever has to do with the bassline and that kinda gritty sound—all three _basically_ describe the same thing. The more bass, the heavier the bass, the dirtier it is."

"Okay," he said, nodding his head slowly. Mello still didn't quite understand, but it seemed like whatever it was, Matt was really excited about it.

"You still don't get it," Matt said, sounding a bit disappointed.

"…Not really."

"Whatever. It's not everyone's thing," Matt said with a shrug, pulling into the apartment parking structure.

"I thought we were getting dinner?" Mello asked, confused as to why they appeared to be going home.

"Sorry. Can't. You don't like dubstep," Matt said with a sigh. But when Matt glanced over at him, he must have seen the confused look on Mello's face, because he quickly recanted what he had said. "I was kiddin', I was kiddin'! Sorry, that was dumb…shouldn't've said that…" he said, trailing off.

Mello let out a small laugh. He hadn't really thought that Matt had been serious when he'd said they couldn't have dinner because Mello didn't like the same type of music he did, and he thought it was adorable how Matt was blushing wildly, staring straight ahead with determination as if not looking at Mello would fix what he'd said.

But when he heard Mello laugh, he attempted a glance over, a small uncertain smile forming on his lips when he saw that Mello obviously wasn't taking him seriously. His cheeks burned an even darker shade of crimson, one that threatened to match the shade of his hair, as he pulled into a parking spot and turned his car off, leaving them in silence.

"So then if you haven't given up on me because of my taste in music, why are we here?" Mello asked, unlatching his seatbelt and stepping out of the car.

"You'll see," Matt said, leading them into the building. But that was too vague, and Mello's curiosity got the better of him.

"Are we ordering in?" he tried.

"Nope."

"Are we going to cook dinner?"

Matt snorted at this. "I can cook ramen and toast, but I end up burnin' the toast most of the time."

"Are we here so I can change out of my work clothes?" Mello asked as they stood waiting for the elevator, running out of ideas.

"That can be pahrt of it if you want," he said, stepping into the elevator and pushing six. "You're never gonna guess," Matt added, rocking back on his heals as the elevator took them up to Mello's floor.

"Well are we staying here?"

"Yep."

"But we're not ordering in or cooking?"

"Right," Matt said with a nod, a grin on his face. They stepped out into the hall and headed towards Mello's apartment, but the second the door was open, he was certain he'd figured it out.

"Takada's making something for us?" he asked, smelling something cooking, shocked that she would agree to it.

"Sorry. Nope," Matt shook his head, "Go get changed." So Mello pulled some clothes out of his suitcase and started for the bathroom, but Takada was suddenly leaning in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room.

"What are you guys doing here?" she asked. It was a simple enough question, but the way she said it made it sound like an accusation.

"I wish I knew," he said. "You're definitely not cooking for us, right?"

"No," she said, giving him a look of disdain as if that was the most ludicrous notion, "Why would I do that?"

"Never mind," he said, "It's not important." But then he noticed how quiet the apartment was; it was never that quiet if Misa was home. "Where's Misa?"

"Out. How should I know?" she said, clearly becoming annoyed by his questions. "Just hurry up and change so you can get out of here."

"Jeez, Taki, what's wrong with you today? Someone tell you that haircut makes you look like a lesbian?"

"Just get out!" she yelled at him. "And what are you laughing at?" she demanded, pointing the spatula she held at Matt accusingly.

"You know, I think I'm just gonna go change so we can get out of here," Mello said, trying to keep Matt out of it so he wasn't on Takada's bad side as well.

"Good idea," she said flatly, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring after him.

He did his best to change as quickly as possible, not wanting to leave Matt alone with the wrath that was Takada any longer than he had to, but when he returned to the living room, he only saw Matt standing awkwardly by the door. He tossed his work clothes to the couch and made his leave before Takada had a chance to say anything else.

"What's up with her?" Matt asked when the door was safely shut behind them.

Mello shrugged. "She's always like that."

"Uh, I met her a couple times before, and she's never seemed that pissed off."

"Maybe I just have that effect on her; she always acts like that to me." But even so, he couldn't care less about Takada at that moment; he and Matt were supposed to be getting dinner. "So where are we going?" he tried again.

"So impatient," Matt chided. "You remind me of my sister."

"How old's your sister?" Mello asked, a bit taken aback, this being the first time Matt had even so much as mentioned that he had a sister.

"Seven," he said, stepping into the elevator and pushing the button for the uppermost floor. Mello would have probably asked Matt something along the lines of what his sister's name was or if he had any other siblings, but those things disappeared from his mind when he saw where they were going.

"What's on the top floor?" he asked, at this point thoroughly confused.

"Nothing," Matt replied, very matter of fact.

"Then…why are we going there?"

"I could tell you, but that would ruin the surprise," Matt said, looking very satisfied with himself.

"Fine," Mello said, rolling his eyes. They'd be there soon enough anyway, so he gave up and resigned himself to watching the numbers on the little display above the door as they climbed higher.

The elevator doors finally opened, and Mello followed Matt around to the stairwell and up the last flight of stairs. "We're going to the roof?" Mello asked, shocked.

"Yep," was the only response he received.

"Are you going to airlift dinner in?"

"No, but that would've been a great idea," Matt said, holding the door to the roof open for Mello.

The first thing he noticed when he stepped out onto the roof was the view. Although the hazy Los Angeles air didn't allow him to see as far as he would have expected, he had a clear view of the UCLA campus and could make out the Starbucks he worked at in the distance, or at least what he assumed to be Starbucks from its location as he couldn't actually read the sign from there. Despite the haze, despite the sea of buildings around him, the view had a certain tranquility to it and left him in awe. Having been stuck growing up in a small, rather run-down town in the middle of Ohio, he'd never seen anything quite like it.

But whatever tranquility he had found shattered when he heard, "What took you two so long?" He turned to see Misa standing over on the main part of the roof, a disgruntled look on her face. "You ask me to set this up, and then you leave me waiting out her for half an hour," she said, motioning to the blanket laid out, with what appeared to be a couple couch cushions and throw pillows sitting along the perimeter; two boxes of pizza sat in the center, stacked atop one another.

"Sorry," Matt told her, "Traffic was terrible. Worse than normal."

"I suppose I'll have to forgive you," she said, letting out a dramatic sigh before turning to Mello. "You might want to close your mouth before you catch any bugs," she told him. He promptly did so, not having even realized that his jaw had fallen open at the sight of their 'picnic.' He would have never expected Matt to have put something like this together, not after how yesterday had gone. "Well, I think I'll get going," she said, a coy little smile on her face. "Enjoy, you two," she added suggestively.

"Thanks, Misa," Matt told her, "And make sure you leave the door propped open."

"What, do you honestly think I would intentionally lock you two up here _alone_?" she asked, feigning offense. Mello rolled his eyes; that sounded _exactly_ like something she would do. "I saw that," she told him. "My wittle Mel-Mel's all grown up," she said, taking a step back over towards him and leaning up to pinch his cheek, "He doesn't need my help to get laid." Mello could feel his cheeks burn. Misa could be so embarrassing sometimes. "Bye," she called over her shoulder as she walked away.

_This is probably what it feels like to have your parents embarrass you…minus the getting laid part…_ Neither of his parents had cared or been around enough to do the embarrassing thing. Though when he'd told his mother that he was gay, she had suddenly started to care. Or she's suddenly became concerned with the salvation of his soul, at least.

"Mel-Mel?" Matt questioned when Misa was gone, going to sit on one of the cushions.

"…Yeah," he said reluctantly, taking a seat across from Matt, "Misa's been calling me that for years. Usually when she thinks she's being cute or wants to annoy me."

"I can see why that would be annoyin'. It doesn't fit you at all. It's too cutesy, like somethin' you'd call a kitten. I'll have to think of somethin' better." Mello could see a pink tint creep into Matt's cheeks as he said this, opening the top pizza box. He turned the box around to offer it to Mello.

"You got pineapple!" he said, surprised when he saw the pizza sitting in front of him.

"Yeah. Misa said it's your favorite. I dunno how you can eat it," he said, taking a slice of pepperoni pizza out of the second box.

"How can you not? It makes it sweet." He took a bite, relishing it. He couldn't remember the last time he'd had it.

"Gross. Pizza isn't supposed to be sweet," Matt said, giving him a look that seemed to question his sanity.

"Are you kidding me? Everything is better sweet."

Matt shook his head, his nose crinkling up in disgust.

"Have you ever even tried pineapple on pizza?"

"No, but it's…weird."

"No, it's not. Just give it a try," Mello said, holding a piece out to Matt. "Just one bite."

Matt frowned down at the pizza but hesitantly took it, examining it with a look of disdain before biting off a tiny piece at the tip. Mello watched as Matt slowly chewed and swallowed it. "I'm sorry," he said, shaking his head as he tossed the rest of the piece back in the box, "I can't eat that; it's too weird."

"Whatever," Mello shrugged, kind of surprised that Matt had even tried it in the first place. Though it seemed like Matt was full of surprises. "Thanks for all this, by the way."

"No problem. I kinda felt like I should make up for yesterday." But Mello couldn't help but wonder if it was more than that. Matt could have taken him to a fancy restaurant to make up for it; instead, he'd chosen to do something much more personal.

"You didn't have to…"

"No, I guess I didn't, but I wanted to," Matt said, smiling across the pizza at Mello. "I like to come up here when I wanna get away from everyone else. It's kinda a good place to just sit and think about things and deal with the shit in your life. It feels like you're kinda separated from the rest of the world, so I thought it would be good place for this."

Mello sat there, searching Matt's face for something that would give him definitive answers to his questions. He wanted so badly to be in a relationship with Matt, and although Matt had certainly given him evidence that he wanted that as well, his actions weren't always consistent. It seemed as though Matt had put a lot of thought into this for it to not be a date, but if it was, why hadn't he made any advances? Instead, he was just sitting there, about as far away from Mello as he could be and still be on the blanket. He just wanted Matt to confirm that his suspicions were correct. He just needed Matt to say the words.

"What is _this_?" Mello asked, deciding Matt would need a bit of prompting.

"Dinner?" Matt said, clearly confused as to what Mello was getting at.

"No, I mean…what are _we_?"

"We're…" he started, but only licked his lips nervously. "Uh, whaddya wanna be?"

"I…" He looked over at Matt. The light breeze blowing his red hair, the freckles that dotted his cheeks, standing out against his pale skin, the way his lips were parted just slightly. "I want you to kiss me." A second later, the pizza boxes had been pushed out of the way, and Matt had his lips pressed to Mello's, his hands gently holding the sides of Mello's face.

The small, chaste kiss ended just as quickly as it had begun, but Matt only pulled back a couple centimeters, and Mello could feel his warm breath ghosting over his lips. "So?" Mello breathed out, a small smile spreading across his face.

"So?" Matt said, running his thumb over Mello's cheek.

"So do you wanna be my boyfriend?" Even as the words left Mello's mouth, they felt juvenile, like the way you might ask someone out in middle school. He wished he could take them back and put something that sounded a bit better in their place.

But Matt only chucked lightly and said, "Absolutely." That was all Mello needed to hear. His hands went to Matt's hips, pulling him closer until he was almost in Mello's lap and kissed him again.

His lips willingly parted when he felt Matt's tongue run over his bottom lip. He loved the feeling of Matt's tongue in his mouth, exploring it for the first time, and he readjusted his position to further lean into Matt, giving him easier access. He worked his tongue against Matt's, easily falling into a comfortable rhythm.

Mello broke the kiss, moving to Matt's jaw and then down to his neck. He could feel Matt's breathing start to pick up, his torso pressed against Mello's, his chest pushing out more quickly and with more force. Matt leaned his head back, granting Mello better access.

But as he sucked at the skin along Matt's neck, he was unfortunately interrupted by the sound of his own growling stomach. He stopped immediately, a bit embarrassed, wishing that he would have eaten more than half a slice of pizza before all this had started.

Matt let out a low laugh, pulling away. "Yeah," he said, drawing out the word slightly and moving to sit next to Mello, "I think you're right. We should prob'ly eat."

"Yeah, probably," Mello sighed, disappointed that they had not continued. But he supposed they would have plenty of opportunities to do so in the future.

He picked up his half-eaten slice of pizza. As soon as he took a bite, he realized just how hungry he was and quickly devoured the rest of it, including the crust, which he normally didn't care for. Matt let out a snort of amusement as Mello reached for another piece. "You and your silly pineapple pizza."

"You didn't die from it, did you?" he teased.

"No, but I almost did. I think you might be tryin' to kill me, Mels," he said jokingly and glanced over at Mello to see how he responded to the nickname he'd given him.

"Mels…" he repeated, trying it out. "I like it. Much better than Mel-Mel."

"Yeah, I think it fits you," Matt said, offering him a little smile and taking Mello's hand in his own.

Mello smiled over at Matt in return, quite content to sit there with him, looking out over the concrete world around them, more than happy with the quirky little things like Matt trying to explain his strange taste in music and eating pineapple pizza on the roof of their apartment complex.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Of all the chapters of this story so far, I think this one would have to be my favorite. And now I'm so excited for everything that's to come x3 Seriously guys, we have barely even scratched the surface of this story!

Anyway, please review! Tell me what you think, make predictions of what's gonna happen next, all that fun stuff. But also, I was wondering, what do you guys think of Matt and Mello's music? Do you like one style more than the other? Do you even listen to the songs I list at the top of each chapter? I'm honestly just curious; I'm not gonna be offended if you say you don't listen to them or don't like either, or whatever :3

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>brightnight003, NessaYume, Deathnotefinatic13, XxHeartlessKissxX, Shade O'Killer, DarkAngelJudas, Midnightkisses10, Evidence Of Rain, samiekins17


	9. Chapter 9: Fixation

Matt: Tell 'Em by Sleigh Bells  
>Mello: Bleed It Out by Linkin Park<p>

**Chapter 9: Fixation**

Mello stepped out of the shower, quickly drying off and slipping on his work clothes. For once, he was actually excited to go to work.

His training was finally over, and this would be his first day officially on the job. But that wasn't the exciting part. No, what he was so happy about was that he _wasn't_ scheduled to work the same shift as Ross. Matsuda, on the other hand, had no such luck and would be working the evening shift with the dictator, though he supposed it was lucky in and of itself that Matsuda hadn't been fired yet. But none of that was really Mello's problem; he was just happy to be free of Ross, at least for the time being.

Mello looked himself over in the mirror, brushing his hair out and plugging Misa's hair dryer in, humming a song he'd been listening to that morning while he'd gone out running. It was the first time he'd actually went running outside since that first time he'd tried and gotten lost, and he'd forgotten how much he missed it. Sure, the treadmills in the Fitness Center on the first floor of the apartment building were fine, but there was something liberating about running outside, even if he did have to weave around people occasionally on the crowded sidewalks.

That was the one thing he missed back home: being able to run outside in an at least semi-peaceful environment. In LA, the sidewalks were always crowded, and the palm trees lining the streets, placed there solely for aesthetic purposes, were virtually the only vegetation in the concrete city. While he was out, however, he did discover that the UCLA campus grounds were a decent place to run. Besides there being relatively few people as most had gone home for the summer, it seemed to have more green than the entire rest of the city put together even though it did have a certain artificial feeling. But he would have to learn to deal with it. It was either that, or move back home, and there was no way in hell he was ever going home, especially not just so he would have a nice place to run.

Deciding his hair was good enough, he ran the brush through it again and went out to the living room to grab his Starbucks apron and shoes. He found Misa where he'd left her, sitting on the couch, watching some raunchy reality TV show, but with one difference: she had carton of ice cream in her lap, eating it with a large spoon. "Want some?" she asked, tearing her eyes away from the screen for a second and holding the carton up. "It's chocolate," she sang out with a smile, trying to entice him.

He looked from the carton to the clock on the wall. "Yeah, sure," he sighed, deciding he had enough time. He went to the kitchen to grab himself a spoon and came back to sit next to Misa on the couch.

"Excited about tonight?" she asked as he dug his spoon in.

"Yeah…but can't we—oh, I don't know—just lock Takada out of the apartment for a couple hours?"

"Mello! She lives here too!" she chided, pushing his arm playfully. "Besides, I thought we were supposed to be celebrating _my_ modeling shoot, so _I_ get to say who gets to come, and _I_ want her here."

"Fine," he grumbled, not understanding why Takada living there was any sort of reason why she should be allowed to come. If anything, it should be a reason why they _should_ lock her out; he didn't want to spend any more time with her than he had to.

"You're gonna get to spend more time with Mattie. Just think about that," she said, and she was right; there was always that silver lining.

"Yeah," he said with a smile, "That's true." Much to Mello's dismay, he and Matt hadn't been able to see each other that much since they actually declared themselves a couple about a week and a half ago. It wasn't for lack of trying, but rather that their work schedules weren't matching up very well. And although they had gotten lunch a couple times and texted each other all the time, they still felt distant.

"Aww, look at you all happy to see Mattie," she cooed and scooped up another huge spoonful of ice cream.

"…Yeah," he admitted hesitantly, not wanting Misa to make a big deal about it, though he wasn't so sure that he really minded all that much.

He missed this, sitting around with Misa, just talking about random stuff, eating ice cream straight out of the carton. They used to do it all the time before she'd moved away to college. He'd probably spent more time at Misa's house back then than he did at his own. He'd go over there whenever being home became too much to deal with, and it eventually got to the point where he never really wanted to leave.

He'd always been welcome at the Amanes' house, and he was very grateful to them for all they had done for him. They'd supported him when he'd come out about being gay and had given him a place to stay when his mother had kicked him out of the house for a week because of it. They felt more like family to him than his real family did, and he'd wished many times over that they actually were.

"Aww! You guys are so cute! I knew you two would be great together!" Misa squealed, but then her tone suddenly became serious. "So, uh, how are you and Matt _doing_?" she asked, looking at him expectantly.

It took him about two seconds to realize what she was getting at. "Misa, we're not talking about this."

"C'mon," she whined. "I won't ask for details. Just tell me if you've had sex with him." He let out a sigh, knowing that this was something she wouldn't just give up on even if he refused to answer. "Mmm, that's a 'no,' isn't it?" she said, clearly disappointed.

"Misa, you do know that we've only been together for like a week and a half, right?"

"I know," she said, looking at him expectantly. "And I also know that you want to, so what's the problem?"

"…I really like him, Misa. I don't want to fuck this up."

"Are you sure? That sounds exactly like what you want to do," she said, snickering.

"Oh, very mature, Misa," he returned flatly.

"Sorry, I had to," she said defensively. "But no, I know what you mean."

"Do you?" he teased, "What's the longest you ever waited for sex, like a day?" Misa's jaw dropped.

"You are such a hypocrite, Mihael Keehl!" she said, feigning offense. "I was a virgin longer than you were!" He hated when she, or anyone for that matter, used his real name, but he supposed he deserved it. Not that it mattered; he still wasn't just going to take it.

"True," he said calmly, "but how many guys have you slept with? Because I'm having trouble remembering them all."

"You're a terrible best friend, you know that?"

"Love you too," he said, patting her on the head as he got up.

"Where are you going?" she asked sounding surprised, no longer pretending to be angry.

"Work," he called from the kitchen, throwing his spoon in the dishwasher. "Remember? It's that place I go to make money."

"Why can't you just skip work?" she groaned.

"I can't skip my first day working," he said, walking back into the living room and slipping his shoes on. "Besides, you have your photo shoot today, or did you already forget?"

"Are you kidding me? _Of course_ I remember," she said, a huge grin appearing on her face. "I can't wait!" she added, throwing her arms up in the air, the spoon clenched in one fist as the carton of ice cream threatened to fall out of her lap to the floor.

"You have a strange way of showing it. I'm pretty sure most models don't prepare for a photo shoot by sitting on the couch, eating ice cream."

"Yeah, well I'm not most models," she retorted, looking quite proud of herself.

"Just make sure you're not late," he said, honestly concerned that she would lose track of time and end up getting fired. It didn't really matter if she was excited about it or not; Misa was late to everything.

"Calm down," she said, rolling her eyes at him, "I don't have to be at the studio until eleven."

"Alright, if you say so." It wasn't like she was going to listen to him anyway. He'd just have to hope that she didn't think she could start getting ready at ten to eleven; he wasn't exactly sure what she did to make it take so long, but it always seemed to take Misa _hours_ to get ready. "Bye, Misa," he called over his shoulder, about ready to close the door.

"Oh, hey, Mello?" he heard and stuck his head back into the apartment.

"Yeah?"

"Would you pick up dinner on your way home? I'll call in an order like around the time your shift ends, and I'll text you when I decide where I want to get it from so you know where to go."

"Sure. See you later," he sighed.

"Bye. Good luck at work!"

"Thanks," and he shut the door. He didn't really mind picking up dinner since he would be the last one out anyway; Takada was normally home from her internship by one at the latest, Misa's photo shoot was supposed to be eleven to two, and Matt took the day off because he'd had a gig DJing the night before, while Mello didn't get off work till five.

He was actually pretty excited about Misa's little celebration. When she'd first brought up that she wanted to do something special to celebrate her first photo shoot, he'd expected her to say she wanted to go to another rave or something of the sort. Instead, she'd said that she just wanted to hang around the apartment with her favorite people, bringing up how the four of them still hadn't actually hung out together yet. And although Mello was less than happy about spending the evening with Takada, he was always glad to spend time with Matt and Misa.

Mello headed down to the ground floor, feeling rather positive about the day. He had gone out running and hadn't gotten lost, he wouldn't have to deal with Ross at work for once, and he would be seeing Matt later.

He made his way out into the parking garage, remembering how opposed he'd been to the idea of the four of them hanging out together the first time Misa had brought it up. So much had changed in the seemingly short month since he'd first moved out to California.

As he moved through the car lined parking garage towards where he'd left his motorcycle parked, he noticed something that worried him a bit. He saw Matt's car up ahead to the left, the trunk popped open but no one in sight. _Shit. I hope someone didn't break into his car…_

But as he continued towards it, he heard a sound come from the other side of the car, and his immediate thought was that whoever had broken in was still there. He knew Matt left his iPod in the car most of the time, and it seemed very likely that someone might try to break in to steal it.

He cautiously made his way around the car, heart pounding, hoping that he was imagining things. If there was someone there, he couldn't very well just leave them to steal Matt's things, but what else was there for him to do? He could try to fight them, but he really wasn't all that big or strong and would probably end up losing. Sure, he could remember a few times when had picked Misa up and removed her from the room when she'd gotten too annoying, but that was a lot different than trying to fight someone who he imagined to be much bigger and stronger than he was. He took one last deep breath, trying to prepare himself, and stepped around the car.

"Matt?" He found the redhead bent over, rummaging around the passenger's seat, and immediately wished he hadn't said anything, at least not right away. Until Matt tried to stand up, hitting his head in the process, Mello had had an excellent view of his ass.

"Ow!" Matt exclaimed when his head collided with the doorframe, closely followed by "Fuck!" as he bent back down, mumbling something about burns in the upholstery.

But as Matt bent over again, something popped into Mello's head. He tried to push the thought away, attributing it to what Misa had said, but no matter how hard he tried, which admittedly wasn't very hard, the idea was still there. Mello couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to have sex with Matt in his car. _His car isn't exactly roomy, but we could make it work. Besides, Matt loves that car; I'm sure he'd be open to the idea…_

He could just imagine climbing over the front seat to get to the back, hastily pulling Matt over the seat to join him when he took just a little too long. He could almost feel Matt's lips on his and his hands on his body, frantically moving to undo Matt's belt and slip his jeans down over his hips… Mello was certain that Matt would then have more to worry about than cigarette burns in the upholstery.

But as he noticed Matt straightening back up, Mello was brought back to reality. "Sorry, I didn't mean to…I thought someone broke into your car…I figured you'd be sleeping in after last night," he managed to get out, stumbling over his words along the way, a bit embarrassed about his thoughts. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," Matt said, rubbing the back of his head where he'd hit it as he stood up and stuck the cigarette that he'd evidently dropped back in his mouth. But Matt didn't look fine; he looked haggard. His goggles were hanging down around his neck, allowing Mello to see his tired looking eyes. The circles that seemed to exist under his eyes perpetually were even more noticeable than they had been the last time Mello had seen him, appearing as dark bruises rather than just a slight discoloration. But it wasn't just the dark circles; his eyes looked bloodshot and it appeared that he was having a hard time keeping them open. His naturally pale skin looked pasty and washed out as if he were sick.

"Did you just get home?" Mello asked, dumbstruck. That was the only explanation he could think of for Matt's appearance; he'd seen him yesterday, and he'd looked fine.

"Yeah, is it that obvious?" he said around his cigarette with a small smile, abandoning the back of his head to rub at his left eye with the heel of his hand, blinking a few times in an attempt to focus his vision.

"You look…" Mello started, but he didn't want to finish.

"Awful? I know," Matt continued for him, taking the cigarette from between his lips momentarily in favor of letting out a wide yawn. "Don't worry about it. I'll crash in my apahrtment, set my alahrm for five, and be down to Misa's by five thirty. That's when we're s'posed to be meetin', right?"

"Yeah…but we can just move it to tomorrow if you want," Mello offered, concerned by the state Matt was in. He would have to text Misa and explain, but he was sure she'd understand.

"Naw, it's fine. If I sleep till five that's…" he started, counting the hours off on his fingers, "I dunno. I can't think right now, but I'm sure I've operated with much less sleep than that." Mello tried to offer him a smile, and he wasn't sure who he was trying to convince, Matt or himself. He hated seeing Matt like this, so worn down that he was barely even able to stand, and it only made it worse that he was acting like it wasn't a big deal. "Really, Mels, I'm fine, 'kay?" he said, tossing the cigarette butt to the ground and lighting another.

Mello watched as a thin line of smoke continued to rise from the discarded cigarette butt on the ground until Matt's boot covered foot moved to step on it, effectively putting an end to the trail of smoke in the air. "If you say so," Mello said, trying to ignore Matt's habit of chain smoking.

Matt only nodded and leaned back into the car, pulling out a large cardboard box. "Uh, d'you think you could gimme a hand?" Matt asked, "I mean if you're not busy."

"Yeah, sure," Mello sighed, moving to take the box from Matt. He wasn't sure how long they'd been standing there, so he had no idea how long he still had to get to work, but if it meant Matt being able to get to sleep earlier, he'd take the risk of being late.

"Thanks," Matt said, shutting the car door and moving around to the trunk to grab a second box. He balanced it on his knee momentarily to shut the trunk and lock the car, shoving his keys into his pocket before taking the large, oblong box back up in his hands.

"What is all this stuff?" he asked, following Matt back into the apartment building.

"My equipment," he said, pushing the door open with his back and holding it open for Mello to walk through. "I have my turntables; your box has the laptop I use for my music, some vinyls, and a pair of headphones."

"Vinyls?"

"Y'know, like vinyl records? LPs?" Matt pushed the 'up' button for the elevator with his elbow, and the doors opened a couple seconds later. "I'll have to show you how it works sometime," he said, gently setting the box down and leaning it against the wall of the elevator to push the button marked seven. Mello watched as he took the cigarette from his mouth again to let out another yawn but returned it to his lips once he was done, clearly ignoring the 'No Smoking' sign on the wall.

It was starting to worry Mello how much Matt smoked. It wasn't the first time he'd thought about it, but Matt's smoking in conjunction with the fact that it looked like he might fall asleep standing there in the elevator before they even made it to his floor brought it to the forefront of his mind. Matt didn't have the healthiest of habits.

"Wouldya stop givin' me that look?" Matt said irritably, "I toldya I was fine."

"Yeah, a couple times actually," Mello grumbled, tearing his gaze away from Matt, a bit taken aback by the way he had snapped at him.

"I-" Matt started but stopped abruptly, taking a deep breath before trying again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to say it like that; I'm just tired. But… Look, this is just what I do. It's not a big deal." Mello turned back to look at Matt, finding an apologetic look on his face. "I'm fine. I promise."

Mello only nodded. At that point, it wasn't even about Matt staying out all night, running himself down day after day. Normally, it didn't really bother Mello when he saw someone smoking; if they wanted to ruin their health that was up to them. But normally, he wasn't dating said person. He cared about Matt and was starting to develop real feelings for him. He'd already had to watch an addiction ruin one life; he didn't want to have to watch Matt's kill him.

The elevator doors opened, and Mello stepped out into the hall, not bothering to wait for Matt. He continued down to Matt's apartment, setting the box down just outside the door. "Mels, what's goin' on?" he heard Matt say behind him, and he turned to see the redhead walking towards him, the box back in his arms, but the cigarette no longer between his lips. He was glad to see that Matt hadn't lit another as soon as he'd finished that one like he'd done back in the parking garage. "Did somethin' else happen that I don't know about or ahre you really just mad at me for snappin' at you like that? I already said I was sorry; I dunno what else you want me to say," he added, propping his box up against the wall much as he'd done in the elevator.

"I'm not mad at you," he said quietly.

"Then what is it?" Matt implored.

"I…" Mello tried, but he couldn't get the words out.

"Mello, I can't help if you don't tell me what's wrong," Matt said, taking a step towards him, running a hand down Mello's arm, ending by taking his hand in his own. Mello looked up from the floor to Matt's eyes. Despite how tired they still looked, they held real concern. He wanted to tell Matt what was really bothering him, how his addiction reminded him of the behavior he'd had to watch growing up, but he couldn't. How could he talk about it when he didn't even want to think about it?

"I…I just hate seeing you like this," he said. It wasn't exactly a lie. He did hate seeing what Matt's lifestyle did to him; it just wasn't the full truth.

"Mels, I toldya I was fine," he said gently, pulling Mello into a hug. He wanted so desperately to be comforted by the way Matt was holding him in his arms, but the only thing he could think of was how strongly he smelt of cigarette smoke. "You'll see. I just need some sleep, and I'll be as good as new by the time I see you again tonight, mkay?" Matt said, pulling back to look Mello in the eye. He nodded and did his best to give Matt a smile. "Everythin' okay now?"

"Better," Mello said, not wanting to say that everything was okay and lie to Matt. Although he was still worried about Matt's addiction, it did make him feel a bit better how he was trying to comfort him.

"Good," Matt said and leaned forward to kiss Mello gently. "Now get to work. You're gonna be late."

"Dammit," he mumbled, looking at the time on his phone when Matt reminded him. Work. Somewhere along the way, he'd completely forgotten about it, and now he was going to be late. "I have to go," he said, returning his cell phone to his pocket. "Uh, do you want me to help you take your stuff in?" he asked quickly, realizing he was leaving Matt standing out in the hall with all of his equipment in boxes on the floor.

"Naw, I got it. You need a ride?"

"I'm fine with my motorcycle. Besides, you need to get to bed," he said, giving Matt the first genuine smile he had all day.

"Right," Matt returned with a small laugh. "Will do."

"Bye," Mello said, taking the extra second to give Matt a quick kiss, and took off back towards the elevator, deciding it would probably be faster than going down six flights of stairs, trying to push his fixation with Matt's addiction to the back of his mind.

It wasn't that he was okay with it—far from it, actually—but despite his concerns, Mello knew it wasn't fair for him to try to tell Matt how he should live his life. Not that he could find it in himself to bring it up and everything it reminded him of anyway. After all, he'd left his hometown to escape from his old life, not to have it impede on the relationship he was trying to build with Matt.

It would be better for the both of them if he could just forget.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Thank you to all you wonderful reviewers! After only 8 chapters, this story already has over 100 reviews! I'm so grateful to all of you, and I'd love to send you all personalized PMs to discuss all the wonderful things you've been saying, but I sadly just don't have that kind of time. If I did that, it would probably take me _weeks_ to update, and no one wants that.

Speaking of which, I'm sorry this chapter is a week late. My beta was out of town, and I got lazy. Besides, there was no way I was going to tell her that she had to work on _my_ story on _her_ trip.

Again, thank you to everyone who supports this story. I love reading everyone's reviews, and I just want to say that I was surprised by how close a couple of you got with your predictions! Of course I can't tell you which ones were right though; where would be the fun in that? I will, however, tell you that something, uh…_interesting_ (terribly vague word, I know, but I don't want to give anything away) will happen in the next chapter ;)

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>brightnight003, kiki1070, Smilexemptyxsoul, GothicNerd469, Poppixoxo, NessaYume, Deathnotefinatic13, XxHeartlessKissxX, DarkAngelJudas, Astreich689, samiekins17, Midnightkisses10, ViKsAtA, Evidence Of Rain, Lotta Devon, Mustached Kira, death2society


	10. Chapter 10: Proposition

Matt: Scary Monsters and Nice Sprites by Skrillex  
>Mello: To the Moon for All I Care by Search the City<p>

**Chapter 10: Proposition**

Mello fumbled with his keys at the door, trying to balance the two large brown paper bags on his knee, bracing them with one hand, while the other worked to get his key into the lock. He eventually succeeded, almost dropping the bags in the process, and pushed the door open. "Misa!" he called out angrily when he didn't see her immediately. He was a bit annoyed with her at the moment.

When he'd agreed to picking up their dinner that morning before he'd left for work, he'd imagined one medium sized bag. He could handle that on his motorcycle; the two huge sacks that he'd picked up at the Chinese restaurant she'd told him to go to, however, were quite a bit more difficult. In all honesty, he probably wouldn't have even been that mad about it had he not almost gotten into an accident on the way home trying to keep hold of their dinner.

"Misa!" he tried again, but instead of receiving a response, he heard one of the bedroom doors open.

"Oh my God! Mello, it was so amazing!" Misa exclaimed, practically skipping out to the living room towards him, evidently not noticing his irritated expression. "I got to the studio and-"

"That's great. Want to help me with this?" he said, cutting her off. She let out an annoyed huff and shot him a glare, but he didn't really care. "Is there a reason you ordered enough food for twenty people?" he asked as she begrudgingly took one of the bags from him.

"We're supposed to be celebrating my first modeling shoot," she said flatly, clearly upset that he'd interrupted her. "Is there a reason why you're in such a bad mood? If you didn't want to pick it up, you could have just said so."

"I was fine with picking it up, and I was still fine with it when I got to the restaurant. I started to regret that I said I would when the guy at the cashier told me I owed him fifty bucks, but no, I paid him and took the bags, deciding I could probably manage them on my motorcycle. I was fine with it until I almost crashed into the car in front of me trying to hold on to all of it. I mean, really, who is going to eat all this?" he added angrily, sitting the bag down on the coffee table next to where Misa had placed the other one.

"Look, I'm sorry, but I don't know why you're taking this out on me," Misa said, crossing her arms over her chest, glaring at him as he dropped to his knees to pull his suitcase from under the coffee table and started rummaging through it.

"Who else would you like me to take it out on?" he said, pulling out a red t-shirt and a pair of dark wash skinny jeans. "You're the one who ordered the food, and you're the one who now owes me fifty dollars. Actually," he amended, pulling the receipt out of his pocket, "fifty-six, seventy-two."

"Fine. I'll pay you back. Happy?"

"Sure," he grumbled, getting up to head towards the bathroom so he could change out of his work clothes.

"Kiyomi's in the shower. Just change in here," she said, taking a seat on the couch, and although her voice still held a bit of annoyance, he could tell that she wasn't really all that mad.

"In here?" he said flatly, raising an eyebrow at her.

Misa rolled her eyes at him. "I'll even turn around if it's that big of a deal," she said in a mocking tone, already moving to turn away from him. He glanced over at her and let out a sigh, undoing the tie at the back of his Starbucks apron and slipping it over his head only to throw it at Misa. "Hey, if you're gonna make it a show, I'm gonna turn around to watch," she said, looking over her shoulder at him with a cheeky smile.

"Just turn around, Misa," he said and couldn't help but let out a small laugh. He really couldn't stay mad at her.

"So what's this actually about?" she asked when she was once again turned away from him. "Did something happen at work, or are you really just mad about almost dying on the way home?"

"I never said I almost died."

"Well you acted like it. 'I almost got in an accident because of your stupid Chinese food,'" she mocked.

"No, work was fine," he said, rolling his eyes, and tossed his work shirt to the arm of the chair, deciding to ignore her comment. He slipped the t-shirt over his head.

"So then what is it?" He glanced over at her, hesitating. "C'mon, Mello. When you get all quiet, then I _know_ something's wrong."

"It's not really that something's _wrong_ exactly. Well, I mean, it is kind of, but…I don't know," he tried, not being able to find the right words.

"Mello, just tell me," she said, sounding concerned.

"No… Really, it's…it's nothing…" He really didn't want to talk about it, even with Misa. Or, well, he did want to talk about it, but he didn't want to bring it up for fear that Misa would figure out what he was _really_ getting at. Instead, realizing that he'd never actually finished changing, he quickly swapped his work pants for the jeans he'd taken out of his suitcase.

"Mello, you're a terrible liar," she said as he flopped down on the couch next to him, taking that as a cue that it was okay for her to turn around, giving him an unconvinced look. "You can't just act all angsty and then pretend like nothing's wrong."

"I'm not acting angsty," he grumbled.

"Something's wrong," she mocked, doing what he assumed was supposed to be an impression of him. "No, I'm not going to talk about it. I'm just going to sit over here and be aloof and brooding," she finished, throwing in a couple dramatic gestures for effect.

"Okay, really. I don't sound like that."

"Then just tell me. Keeping it all bottled up isn't going to help," she said, and even if she were trying to pry, she was right. Refusing to talk about it now would probably end with him lashing out at someone else later.

He took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh. "How much does Matt smoke?"

Misa only gave him a confused look. "Seriously? How should I know? You're with him more than I am."

"Never mind. I shouldn't have even asked…"

"No, wait. Is that really what's bothering you?" she asked, sounding surprised. His expression must have betrayed him because she added, "Aw, you're worried about him. That's cute."

"It's not cute. It's annoying." He'd tried to push it from his mind as he'd rushed to work that morning, but despite his best efforts, it kept resurfacing throughout the day. He didn't want to think about it, nor did he really want to talk about it with Misa or anyone else, for that matter.

"It's annoying that you care about him enough to worry about him?" she questioned, her tone gentle, a small smile on her lips.

"No, it's just… it's annoying that it reminds me of…" but he didn't want to finish. He looked over at Misa hoping she would understand. It took her a minute, but the confusion on her features slowly changed to understanding.

"Oh…right," she said, her eyes widening as she slowly nodded. "Mello, if that's how you feel, you should really talk to Matt about it," she added, her tone suddenly serious.

"I'm not gonna try to tell him how he should live his life," he said, though that was only part of it, the other part being that he really just didn't want to have that conversation yet. It was too soon for him to lay all his family issues on Matt like that.

"No, but he has a right to know how you feel. And besides, he definitely smokes way too much. Maybe if you explain yourself, he'll try to cut back," she suggested, offering him a small encouraging smile. "And if he cares about you as much as you seem to care about him, he'll want to." But with that, he heard the bathroom door open, and the conversation was over. "Just think about it, okay?" Misa said. Mello only nodded.

"Um, hey, Mello?" he heard Takada say behind him, and he instantly knew by her clearly fake pleasant tone that whatever she wanted wasn't good. "You want to try _not_ to leave your stuff all over the bathroom?" and his bottles of shampoo and conditioner, along with his razor and canister of shaving cream were dropped on the couch beside him.

"Believe it or not Taki, I live here too," he said, turning around to find her glaring at him, her still damp hair hanging down around her face. "You leave your stuff all over the bathroom, and I can't even leave my shampoo in the shower?" So he had accidently left his razor and shaving cream on the edge of the sink on his way out that morning, but it was one time. It wasn't like he did it on a daily basis.

Takada opened her mouth to retort, but Misa didn't give her the chance. "Not now, Kiyomi," she pleaded, "Can't you two get along for once? Just for today? For me?"

"Fine," Takada said, going to sit in the chair situated at the end of the coffee table, clearly still annoyed.

"Yeah. Fine," Mello agreed, though by the way Takada was sitting there, silently fuming, he knew this was far from over. He didn't really understand why she was getting so worked up over something as small and unimportant as him keeping his stuff in the bathroom, but if she was going to make it a big deal, he was going to fight for it. So without another word, he got up, taking his stuff back to the bathroom. He put his razor and shaving cream in the medicine cabinet and placed his shampoo and conditioner back in the shower caddy where he'd left them that morning, scoffing at the fact that there were about ten bottles of different scented shower gels in there that he knew weren't his.

He heard a knock at the door as he made his way down the short hall, followed by Misa loudly announcing "I'll get it!" By the time he actually got out to the living room, Takada was setting the cartons of Chinese food out on the coffee table, and Misa was already at the door. "Hi, Matt!" she exclaimed, and he watched as she threw her arms around him in a hug.

"Hey, Misa," he said but gave Mello a smile and a small wave over Misa's shoulder, and though it was slightly tainted by the cigarette between Matt's fingers, Mello was still happy to return the gesture. He was a bit surprised, though glad nonetheless, to see that Matt looked much better than he had that morning when he'd found him in the parking garage. His goggles were positioned up at the top of his head, revealing that, although his eyes still looked tired as they always did, he seemed healthy and lively otherwise.

But when Matt tried to step into the apartment, Misa stopped him. "I told you before: no smoking in the apartment," she said, placing her hands on her hips.

He brought the cigarette up to his lips, taking one last drag on it before holding the filter up. "See? Done."

"Alright, so get rid of it," she said, continuing to stand in the doorway, not allowing him in.

"I can't just leave it out here."

"There's a garbage can down by the elevator."

"Yeah, there's also a gahrbage can in your kitchen that's a lot closer." But Misa only stuck her arm out, pointing in the direction of the elevator. "C'mon, Misa. You've never been this strict about it before," Matt said, clearly a bit taken aback by the way she was acting.

"You could've been back already," she said simply, and Matt let out a sigh, starting back in the direction he'd come from. When he'd disappeared from view, Misa turned back towards Mello, giving him an apologetic look and mouthing the word 'sorry.' He gave her a small appreciative smile in return. Although he didn't really know how she expected refusing to let Matt into the apartment with a lit cigarette to help, he was still grateful for her efforts, nonetheless.

"See. Look, it's gone," Matt said, coming back into view, holding both his hands up to show that they were empty. "Can I come in now?"

"Absolutely," Misa stepped out of the way, no trace of the stern expression she had given him earlier remaining; rather, a wide grin appeared on her face as she skipped across the room. "I'll put some water on for tea to go with our yummy Chinese food," she announced happily. "Everyone good with tea?"

She received a couple "Sure"s from Mello and Matt and a nod from Takada, though it wasn't apparent whether she'd actually bothered to listen to their responses or had just assumed that they'd be fine with it.

"Hey, how are ya?" Matt said, moving forward to give Mello a small kiss, his arms going around him in an embrace.

"Better now that you look a bit less like a zombie," he returned, a smile coming to his face.

"Toldya I'd be fine." But as happy as Mello was to see Matt looking much better than he had earlier, he found it a bit unnerving when he noticed Takada observing their exchange with curiosity out of the corner of his eye. He couldn't help but wonder if she was doing it just to annoy him.

"Alrighty," Misa said, coming back into the room with a handful of paper plates and napkins as Matt and Mello went to sit down on the couch. "Here you go," she passed them out and dug around the bottom of one of the paper bags, pulling out a few sets of disposable wooden chopsticks. Mello took his hesitantly. He was awful with chopsticks, but it seemed like everyone else was fine with them. He watched as Misa took a seat next to him on the couch and snapped her set apart, positioning them in her hand and loading her plate with a variety of the different foods laid out in front of her. "So guys," she said looking around the room expectantly, "I'm officially a model!" and her hands went up in the air excitedly, her now full plate wobbling slightly where it was balanced on her knees, appearing as if it wanted to fall off.

Mello turned to give her a congratulating smile from where he was trying his best to pick up a spring roll with his chopsticks, giving up and putting it on his plate with his fingers, when he heard Takada let out a disgruntled sigh at Misa's words. "Seriously, Taki?" he said, turning towards her and giving her a look of disbelief, "What is your problem? Can't you just be happy for her?"

"I am," she said flatly, a bit taken aback, "but I've already heard all this. Misa ambushed me the second she walked in the door. Didn't she do the same to you?"

"She, uh," he started, wishing he wouldn't have said anything in the first place. It was just that it bothered him the way Takada kept watching his and Matt's interactions as if she were observing them, trying to gauge the meaning behind their actions. "Something came up," he finally finished, going back to his attempts at using his chopsticks.

"Really? I just figured she'd want to share her big news with her _best friend_," she said, making it sound like an accusation.

"Are you two done?" Misa asked, sounding annoyed, "I thought you were going to try to get along?"

"_That _wasn't my fault," Takada said innocently.

"Sorry," Mello apologized, and as much as he hated to admit it, that had been more his fault than Takada's; he was the one who had lashed out at her, after all. "Keep going." And without further prompting, she did.

"It was _so_ awesome!" she started, but in all honesty, Mello didn't hear much else. It wasn't that he didn't want to listen—he really did want to show his support for her—but as he bent forward, trying to get transfer some of the lo mein from the takeout carton to his plate, all he managed to do was drop one of the chopsticks. It fell to the coffee table and rolled to the floor where Matt bent down to pick it up for him.

"See? Like this," Matt whispered as to not interrupt Misa, giving Mello the chopstick back and picking up his own, showing him how to hold them properly. "Let the one rest in the bend between your thumb and finger and brace it with your middle finger. Then you can pinch the other one between your thumb and pointer finger." Mello watched with amazement as Matt demonstrated; he'd never realized before that Matt was left handed.

He tried to mimic the way Matt was holding his chopsticks, managing with minimal success to get the lo mein onto his plate. Matt chuckled lightly, seeing Mello try to guide the noodles that had only made it halfway onto his plate with his chopsticks. "Here," Matt said, taking the noodles dangling off the edge of Mello's plate up in his own chopsticks and holding them up in front of Mello's face. He leaned forward hesitantly, eating them off of Matt's chopsticks.

"Aww! You guys are too cute!" Misa squealed, "Seriously, like, I don't even care that you're not paying attention." Mello hadn't even noticed that Misa had stopped her story in favor of watching Matt try to teach Mello how to use chopsticks, and by the way Matt was blushing wildly to Mello's left, it appeared that he hadn't noticed either. "No, please don't stop on my account. Feel free to feed each other as much as you want. It's adorable!" But before she had the chance to say anything else, the teapot started whistling, and she hopped up, setting her plate on the edge of the coffee table. "Don't do anything cute till I get back, 'kay?" she sang out over her shoulder as she made her way to the kitchen.

"Sorry, about that," he told Matt, feeling the need to apologize for Misa's actions.

"Naw, it's not your fault," Matt said, giving him an awkward little smile, his cheeks still a bright red. He fidgeted in his seat nervously, readjusting more than once before eventually settling on leaning into the back of the couch, stretching his legs out under the coffee table. Or at least trying to. Instead, his feet collided with Mello's suitcase which had been pushed under it, out of the way. "What's with the suitcase?" Matt asked, bending over slightly to see what his feet had hit.

"It's mine," Mello said simply.

"Ahre you plannin' on goin' somewhere?"

"Uh, no, I, uh, just keep my stuff in it," he explained hesitantly, a bit embarrassed by his living conditions; Matt had his own apartment while Mello had to borrow someone's couch. But the confused look Matt gave him told Mello that there wasn't really going to be a way around explaining it. "I sleep on the couch," he added reluctantly.

"Really?" Matt said, sounding surprised.

"Where did you think he slept?" Takada interjected. "It's a two bedroom apartment, and Misa and I were here first. At least his stuff is cleaned up for once," she added, looking at Mello rather than Matt.

"I left my razor and shaving cream out _one time_," he told her, annoyed by the way she wouldn't let it go. "Look, I'm sorry, but your bitching isn't going to change the fact that I live here too, so learn to fucking deal with it," he shot out, finally becoming fed up with the way Takada was acting.

"Jeez, Mello. Calm down," she said as if his reaction had been completely unwarranted. "All I'm saying is that it wasn't a problem before you moved in."

Mello was about to retort but stopped abruptly, surprised when Matt spoke up on his behalf. "Well, I mean, Mello does live here, right? So shouldn't he have someplace to put his stuff?" he said, taking a bite of his food.

"You know, if you like him so much, maybe he should move in with you. That would solve the problem," Takada suggested calmly, but the second she got the words out, Matt, who had obviously not expected her to say that, started choking violently on his food.

"I have tea!" Misa announced, and Mello turned to see her coming back into the living room, managing to hold onto the handles of two cups in each hand. "Are you okay, Matt?" she asked, sounding worried, quickly pushing one of the takeout boxes out of the way to sit the cups down on the coffee table, and although Matt nodded, he still hadn't recovered. "I'll get you some water," Misa offered, running out of the room and returning a second later with a glass of water in hand. "Here," she said, handing it to him.

"Thanks," he managed, taking it from her.

"It was just a suggestion. No need to get so worked up over it," Takada said with a sigh.

"Wait. Suggested what?" Misa asked her.

"That Mello move in with him," Takada shrugged.

"You…" Misa started, her eyes getting wide, for once seeming to be at a loss for words. "Uh, Mello, I need to talk to you," she said and barely gave him the chance to set his plate down before grabbing his arm and dragging him to her bedroom. "What happened?" she demanded once the door was closed. "I was out of the room for like two minutes, and now you're moving in with Matt?"

"No," he said quickly. "I mean, Takada brought it up, but I don't think… I'm not sure what's going on either," he admitted, slouching down on Misa's bed and running a hand through his hair.

"Well, do you _want_ to move in with Matt?" she asked softly, sitting down next to him on the bed.

He looked over at her, surprised that she was being so calm about it. "Don't you think it's kinda soon?"

"Maybe," she shrugged, "but not if you want to."

"I don't know… We haven't been together that long, and we've never talked about it," he said, feeling overwhelmed by the whole idea. "I've never even been in his apartment."

"Well, I would say just take your time and think about it, but Matt's sitting out there with Kiyomi, and she's probably trying to convince him that it's a good idea, so…maybe you should go talk to him about it now that it's out on the table?"

"With Takada out there?" he said, skeptical. He was sure the conversation would be weird enough to begin with, let alone with Takada there.

"I'll take care of it. I have a plan," she said, flashing him a grin before returning to a more serious tone. "Just go out there and talk to him. It's not like you have to move in with him just because Kiyomi brought it up, but don't feel like you can't because you haven't been going out that long," she said, giving him an encouraging smile. "It's completely up to you and him."

"Yeah…" But he honestly wasn't sure what he wanted. Living with Matt wouldn't be the worst thing in the world, but he couldn't help but feel that it was too soon. Either way, Misa was right; he needed to talk to Matt about it now that it had been brought up; he doubted that they could just pretend like nothing had ever been said about it.

"Ready?" Misa asked, standing up.

"Sure," he sighed, getting up from the bed, trying to prepare himself, but as he attempted to take a step towards the door, Misa suddenly had him in a hug.

"Whatever you want, okay? I'll support you either way."

"Thanks, Misa."

"And Mello," she said, her hand on the doorknob, "Try not to look so upset. It's really not that big of a deal, not unless you make it a big deal."

"Right. Of course," he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes, though he was glad she'd said that; it did actually make him feel a bit better.

He followed her back out to the living room, trying to convince himself that it wasn't that big of deal. "Kiyomi," Misa said as they entered the room, and both Takada and Matt turned to look at her. "We need soy sauce," she announced, and Mello looked at her in disbelief. _This is her plan? Oh God… I'm screwed…_

Takada raised an eyebrow at her. "We have these little packets," she said, picking one up from coffee table and holding it up.

"Oh…right, well, that's not the good kind. We need to go get the good soy sauce," Misa said, sounding determined. "Let's go, Kiyomi."

"Why do I have to go?" Takada demanded, "You're the one who wants a different kind."

"Yeah, but this is my celebration, and I want you to come with me. Now let's go," Misa said, giving her a stern look.

"Whatever," she sighed, getting up from her chair and following Misa to the door.

"We'll be back…sometime," Misa said, practically dragging Takada out the door. "Bye," she called out over her shoulder and shut the door.

"Uh, so…that was weird, right?" Matt said as Mello came to sit back down next to him.

"Heh, yeah, weird," Mello agreed nervously.

"I mean, what's up with Takada sayin' we should move in together? That's just… It's ridiculous, right?" Matt said with a small nervous laugh, and Mello really wasn't sure why, but his heart sunk when he heard those words. He didn't know if he wanted to move in with Matt or not, but he didn't want Matt to _not_ want him to move in. Was the idea of them living together really so terrible?

"…Right," Mello said, trying not to sound disappointed.

"It's just too soon…maybe…" Matt trialed off, pushing his food around his plate with his chopsticks, staring down at it rather than looking at Mello.

"Yeah…" _He's right. It's too soon. This is for the best…_ But as he sat there trying to convince himself of that, a silence fell over them, only serving to put him even more on edge.

"Not that I don't want you to…" Matt amended a few seconds later, breaking the silence and risking a glance up at Mello. He quickly looked back down at the plate in his lap, a blush creeping up into his cheeks.

"Wait, do you…do you _want_ me to move in with you?" Mello asked, surprised. He knew he might be reading too much into what Matt was saying, but he had to ask. It was worth a shot.

"Well, it's just Takada's such a bitch to you, and I have the extra room so…" he said quickly, his blush deepening as he started fidgeting in his seat again, but then he licked his lips nervously and took a deep breath. "D'you want to?" he said, looking up from his hands at Mello. "We don't have to make it a big deal or anythin'," Matt added quickly before Mello had a chance to respond.

Mello could only stare at him for a moment, amazed at the way Matt's words echoed what Misa had said. Maybe he was just over thinking things. "…Yeah," he said, "I think you're right."

"So, uh," Matt started, swallowing thickly, "Is that a yes?"

"Yeah," Mello said giving Matt a smile, "I think it is."

"Okay," he nodded, sounding excited, and by the grin that spread across Matt's face, Mello was pretty sure he'd made the right decision.

He loved Matt's smile, he loved a lot of things about Matt actually, and Mello was happy that this meant that he'd have the chance to spend more time with him and get to know him better. He knew that moving in together would probably change their relationship no matter what anyone said about it not being a big deal, but he had a feeling it would be a change for the better. Mello took Matt's hand, pulling him closer and placing a soft kiss on lips.

"So, uh, whadya wanna do until they get back?" Matt said in what Mello assumed was supposed to be a suggestive tone, but if he was going for seductive, his dorky little smile sort of took away from it. Not that it was really a bad thing; it was one of the things Mello found so adorable about him. But the smile disappeared when Mello let out a laugh. "What?" Matt said, sounding a bit offended.

"When they get back? I'd bet you anything they're standing right outside the door, trying to hear what we're saying. Or at least I'm sure that's what Misa's doing. Watch," Mello said, getting up and going to the door. He opened it to reveal exactly what he'd described.

"Oh, h-hey, Mello," Misa said, looking embarrassed that she'd gotten caught eavesdropping.

"So did you get the soy sauce?" he asked, trying to keep his features neutral.

"Soy sauce?" she said, looking confused for a moment, "Oh, right. No they didn't have what I was looking for."

"Either way, you sure did get back quickly," he said, crossing his arms over his chest and giving her a skeptical look.

"Yeah, uh…" she started, but Takada cut her off, pushing past both her and Mello to get back into the apartment.

"So what happened?" she asked, going to sit back down in her chair. "We couldn't hear very well through the door."

"See? I told you that's what they were doing," Mello said, going back to sit down next to Matt, Misa following behind him.

"Fine. If you already knew we were out in the hall, just tell us what you decided," Misa said, sitting back down to Mello's right, sounding as if the suspense was killing her.

"Well…" Mello said, purposely drawing it out to antagonize Misa.

"Mello, just tell me!" she whined, poking him in the ribs, making him jump away from her, and by consequence, practically into Matt's lap.

"Don't you dare," he warned.

"Oh, you know I will," Misa said with a devious smirk. "Now tell me!"

"Wait, what ahre you gonna do?" Matt asked Misa, clearly confused as to what was going on.

"Mel-Mel is extremely ticklish. Use it to your advantage," she advised, giving Mello another poke in the ribs.

"Alright, alright! We're moving in together," he blurted out before Misa made good on her threat.

"Really? Yay! That's so exciting!" she squealed, throwing her arms around Mello's neck. "Just remember what we talked about earlier. Don't be afraid to let him in, okay?" she added, whispering in his ear.

"I know. Thanks, Misa," he returned, knowing she was right. If he was going to move in with Matt, he would have to learn to be more open with him.

"Yes, congratulations," Takada said, and he turned to see the self-satisfied smirk she wore.

"Thanks," he said earnestly, actually somewhat grateful for what she'd said. If it wasn't for Takada, he wouldn't be moving in with Matt.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Oh man, this chapter was so much fun to write! But anyway, yep, Mello is moving in with Matt. What do you guys think? Is this a good idea on their part? A bad idea? Do you think it's too soon for them to be moving in together? I would tell you all my opinion, but it's a bit biased since I know what's going to happen, and I don't want to give anything away, so I think I'll just keep it to myself ;)

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>brightnight003, DarkAngelJudas, CatatonicVanity, Scars and Cigarettes, 494dwangel, Evidence Of Rain, kiki1070, death2society, Midnightkisses10, AthenaRulestheEarth, NessaYume, Ironicsheep, Astreich689, hearts4theworld


	11. Chapter 11: Uncertainty

**Author's Note:** This is another chapter where Matt's song is actually featured within the chapter. I would recommend listening to his song when it comes up. It will probably be a lot more entertaining if you do x)

* * *

><p>Mello: Staplegunned by The Spill Canvas<br>Matt: P.L.U.R. by Blood on the Dance Floor

**Chapter 11: Uncertainty**

"Do you have everything?" Misa asked him, and for as excited as she had seemed about him moving in with Matt, Mello swore he could see a hint of sadness in her eyes.

"Yeah, I think so," he said, shuffling though his box of things briefly, not really bothering to look that closely. He honestly wasn't all that concerned; it wasn't like he was moving cross country again, just up one flight of stairs.

"Well, if you need _anything_, you're always welcome," she added, smiling up at him.

"Of course," he said and wrapped his arms around her in a hug, but when he heard someone knock on the door and tried to let her go, he found that he couldn't. When he went to pull away, Misa wouldn't let go. "Misa, what are you doing?" he sighed.

"I just got my Mel-Mel back. I'm not letting him leave," she said into his chest, holding onto him tighter.

"I thought you were happy for me?" he asked, glancing over at the door, not wanting to make Matt wait.

"Can't I be happy for you and want you to stay at the same time?"

"Sure, as long as the second one doesn't involve you leeching onto me." Matt knocked again, and Mello tried to move towards the door. And although Misa still refused to let go, her tiny feet stepped up onto his, allowing him to move without having to drag her.

He managed to walk to the door, although with slight difficulty, and opened it to reveal Matt standing out in the hall; his hands were shoved down into his pockets and his goggles placed over his eyes, looking around awkwardly. "Hey," he said excitedly when he turned towards Mello, but the smile that had been on his face faded to be replaced by a confused expression as he saw the strange situation Misa had put him in.

"Misa doesn't want me to go," he said flatly, answering Matt's unasked question, and the redhead nodded.

"It's not that I don't want you to leave," she said, "I'm happy for you and Mattie. I'm just gonna miss my Mel-Mel."

"Misa, I'll be right upstairs. We'll still see each other all the time," he told her.

"Yeah, and you can visit anytime. You know my door's always open," Matt added, and with that, Misa slowly unattached herself from Mello.

"Fine, I guess I'll let you go then," she said to Mello before turning to Matt. "But don't worry. I'll knock first. Don't want to _interrupt_ anything," she said suggestively, giving Matt a wink, which only made him start blushing wildly.

"Okay, Misa. That's enough," Mello told her, feeling bad for Matt who looked like he wanted to disappear into the floor.

"Don't even pretend like you don't want to, mister," she said, shooting him a coy smile, and he was certain she was doing this just to punish him for leaving her.

"Alright, I think it's time to go," he announced quickly, going to get his suitcase which was sitting on the floor next to the couch.

"No! I'm sorry," she said, pulling his arm away from the suitcase as he reached for it. "I'm sorry. Please don't leave yet," she pleaded, "Just wait for Kiyomi to get back. Please?"

"Fine," he sighed, flopping down on the couch. He'd really been hoping to have already left by the time Takada got back from her internship, but he supposed it really wasn't that big of a deal; she should be in soon anyway. "Is that alright with you?" he asked Matt who only nodded as he came to sit next to Mello, still blushing slightly.

"Yay!" Misa exclaimed, flopping down on the other side of Mello. "So have you guys discussed sleeping arrangements yet?" she asked offhandedly, looking at them curiously, but when Mello glared at her, she recanted what she'd said. "Sorry, sorry, I know. It's none of my business," she said, rolling her eyes.

Although, it wasn't even that Mello was mad about her asking; rather, he was concerned with the fact that he and Matt _hadn't_ discussed it yet. It had been three days since them moving in together had first been brought up, and they had both largely evaded the subject.

Though they hadn't even really talked all that much over the past couple days to begin with. When Matt had been getting ready to leave after Misa's little celebration, they'd discussed when Mello would move in, deciding on Monday after they got in from work since they both had the morning shift. Plus, that would give Matt the weekend to clean up his apartment, and from what he'd said, it sounded like it really needed it.

But now it was Monday, and Mello still had no idea where he would be sleeping that night. As Misa had less than discreetly suggested, he did want to sleep with Matt; he wanted to do a lot of things with Matt, things which he'd only been able to fanaticize about thus far. He hoped that moving in together would give him more of an opportunity to make some of his fantasies a reality, but with how nervous Matt acted anytime Misa alluded to it, Mello doubted that anything terribly interesting would be happening his first night in his new home.

And if Matt wasn't ready for any of that quite yet, he was fine with it. He just didn't relish the idea of bringing up where he'd be sleeping that night to Matt. He could imagine how flustered Matt would get, at least if how he was acting then after Misa had brought it up was any indication.

Mello reached over, finding Matt's hand, and laced his fingers between Matt's, hoping he'd relax a bit. His thumb brushed back and forth gently over the back of Matt's hand, tracing the veins that ran just under his skin, raising it slightly, all the while looking, not at Matt, but at Misa who had moved on from trying to pry into their private life to attempting to give them her well wishes.

"I'm sorry," she said sadly. "I really am happy for you both. It's just that there are a _few things_ you should have discussed by now," she added, looking at Mello expectantly. He elbowed her in the ribs in response, knowing full well what she was getting at.

He'd intended to confront Matt about his smoking habits before they moved in together, to explain to him how he'd had to watch an addiction eat away at his mother's life growing up, but he'd never really gotten the chance. He'd justified it to himself by saying that since he'd be seeing Matt a lot more, that there would be plenty of opportunities in the future to broach the subject.

Matt gave him a weird look, obviously having noticed their exchange, which Mello pointedly ignored, hoping that he wouldn't ask what it had been about the second they left. Although if he was hoping that Matt would just forget about it, it didn't seem like Misa was going to make that easy on him.

"Ow! I was just trying to help," she grumbled, crossing her arms and sticking her lower lip out in a pout.

"I'm sorry," Mello offered halfheartedly.

"I'm sure," she said sarcastically, shooting him a glare out of the corner of her eye.

"No, really," he tried, not wanting her to still be mad at him when they left. "I'm sorry."

"Mello, I don't care if you're sorry or not. I know you think I'm being pushy, but I'm worried that you're not taking this seriously."

He was about to tell her that he was, in fact, taking it very seriously when the door was pushed open, and a very surprised looking Takada walked in. "What are you still doing here?" she asked, looking directly at Mello.

"Waiting for you to get home," he told her and got up, walking over to her. "Couldn't leave without saying goodbye," he said, giving her a hug.

"Ugh, get off me," she said, pushing him away, and a smirk came to his lips. He was going to miss messing with Takada. "No, really," she said once she was a safe distance from him, "Don't tell me you decided not to move out."

"I wanted them to stay till you got back," Misa answered for him, getting up from the couch.

"Ah, well, I'm back now, so…" and with that, she nodded to Mello and headed to her bedroom.

The second she was out of the room, Misa had her arms around his neck again. "It's okay to let him in," she whispered in his ear, "You _need_ to let him in."

He glanced at Matt, who was standing up, getting ready to leave, over her shoulder. "I know," he told her, and she leaned up to give him a kiss on the cheek and let him go. He gave her a little smile and then moved to grab his suitcase.

"Could you get that?" he asked Matt, motioning towards the box sitting on the coffee table.

"Is this everythin'?" Matt asked as he picked the rather small cardboard box up, sounding surprised.

"Yeah."

"Wow, you weren't kiddin' when you said you could manage on your own," he said, going to stand next to Mello at the door. When they'd decided when the move would take place, Matt had offered to help him with his stuff. Mello had told him that there wasn't much to move, but Matt had insisted.

"You're both gonna visit, right?" Misa asked, looking between the two of them, but didn't give them a chance to respond. "I _expect_ you to visit."

"Of course," Mello said, giving her a reassuring smile, and Matt nodded.

"Good. You better," she said, giving them a stern look which faded to melancholy expression before throwing her arms around Mello again. "Bye," she said and then did the same with Matt, though with a bit more difficulty as he was still holding the box.

Mello pulled the door open with his free hand and held it open for Matt. "Bye," he said to Misa who waved to them and closed the door as they started towards the elevator.

"Well, that was, uh…interestin'," Matt said as they stepped into the elevator.

Mello pushed the button marked '7,' making it light up. "Interesting? Is that what you'd call that?"

"Ha, well, I didn't expect Misa to, uh, be so dramatic."

He looked over at Matt in surprise. "You didn't expect Misa to be dramatic? Do you _know_ Misa? That's exactly what you should expect from her. _All the time_."

"Yeah, I guess… But I got the feelin' she doesn't think this is a good idea. She seemed to be okay with it when I was over on Friday…" he trailed off as the elevator doors opened in from of them.

"She's just being overdramatic," he said, following Matt out of the elevator, hoping that this would be a sufficient cover for everything Misa had said. He would get around to confronting Matt about his addiction when the time was right, and as long as he didn't directly ask him about any of the specifics of what Misa had said, he didn't think 'the right time' was while he was moving in.

"Yeah, you're prob'ly right…" Matt said, shifting the box so he could hold it in one arm, and opened the door to his apartment. "So here it is. Home sweet home," he said, setting the box he was carrying down on the floor as Mello stepped through the doorway.

The first thing Mello noticed was the sheer quantity of stuff in Matt's apartment. The large flat screen TV that sat against one wall stood out to him, as did the blue plaid couch in the center of the room, but as he scanned the room, the smaller details were almost overwhelming. Next to the TV were a few of stacks of DVDs to the one side, and a couple boxes were stacked on top of each other on the other side, though there was no indication of what could be inside. Gaming magazines were piled next to the couch, and where Misa had a coffee table in her apartment, Matt had what appeared to be a piano bench. A small wooden table that held an ashtray sat on the other side of the couch. Posters advertising various video games, movies, and concerts for artists Mello had never heard of plastered the walls, leaving room for little else. A couple more boxes like the ones next to the TV were stacked in one corner, and a few more trailed along the perimeter of the room, leading up to a life-size model of…_something_ which sat in another corner. Mello knew he'd seen the 'something' somewhere before, but couldn't place where.

"So whadya think?" he heard Matt ask to his left.

"Uh…" was all he managed to get out. He wasn't entirely sure what he thought.

"Yeah, it's a lot to take in," Matt laughed, "You should've seen it before I cleaned up."

"You…cleaned?" Mello questioned in disbelief. Sure, that had been the plan: Matt would take a couple days to tidy up the apartment before Mello moved in, but he didn't know how anything else could have possibly fit in the small room.

"Yeah, all the stuff in those boxes was just kinda…out. You could hahrdly see the floor," Matt said with a laugh. "C'mon. I'll give you the grand tour." And when Mello started following him, not even realizing that he hadn't set his suitcase down, Matt added, "You can just leave that there for now if you want."

"Oh, right," Mello said, setting the suitcase down and following Matt around the room.

"Here we have my DVD collection which includes all the classic sci-fi staples as well as some of the better adaptations of the superhero comics," he started and then opened the doors to the small wooden entertainment system the TV was sitting on. "DVD and Blu-ray player, and I have my Xbox 360 hooked up right now, but I have my PS3 in here," he said, pointing to one of the boxes next to the TV, "and my Xbox games in here," he added, pointing to the other. "The stormtrooper I bought off eBay, DJ equipment, classic video game systems and games," he finished, going around the room, pointing to the thing standing in the corner and the various boxes.

"Stormtrooper…" Mello repeated, still trying to place where he'd seen it before.

"Yeah, isn't it cool?" Matt said excitedly, a grin spreading across his face.

"What _is_ it?"

Matt's jaw dropped. "A soldier under the Galactic Empire. You know, from _Stahr Wars_?" he said as if this should be obvious.

Mello looked back to the white suit thing. "No, that's not it."

"Whadya mean 'that's not it'? That _is_ what it is."

"No, because I've seen it before, and I've never seen _Star Wars_."

"You, wait, what? You've never seen _Stahr Wars_?" Matt asked, exasperated.

"No…?" Mello replied hesitantly.

"How can you have… Never mind. I know what we're doin' tonight," Matt said, a smile returning to his face. Mello let out a sigh. It wasn't that he was against watching the movie even though he wasn't that into science fiction; it was just that what he'd hoped to be doing with Matt that night involved much less clothing. "I figure we'll stahrt with Episode Four. The older trilogy is _way_ better," Matt added as he led Mello to the next room.

"Episode Four? How many are there?"

"Six," Matt told him, giving Mello a look which told him that this was a stupid question, but continued with his tour nevertheless. "Anyway, this is the kitchen. Table, oven, stove, fridge," he said, pointing to each in turn. "All the kitchen-y stuff. The only thing I really use is the cahfee maker. If you get hungry, I have… Well, I'm actually not sure what I have," so Matt started looking through his cupboards. "Looks like Trix cereal, a pack of chicken flavored ramen, two chocolate Pop-Tarts, cahfee of course—that's basically the one thing you can count on me havin', that and some kind of energy drink, usually Monster—and…" he continued to the fridge and peering in, "uh…some ketchup, couple cans of Coke and Monster—like I said," he added, glancing over his shoulder at Mello with a shrug before returning to the contents of his refrigerator, "and…huh." He pulled out a Styrofoam takeout container from behind the cans and opened it. "Ugh. Don't even know what that is," he said, frowning down at it. He closed the refrigerator door with his foot and went to throw the whatever-it-was in the garbage can before going back to see what was in the freezer. "And a thing of hash browns. So if any of that sounds good, help yourself. Most of the time, I just grab somethin' on the way home from work."

Mello nodded, taking mental note of the chocolate Pop-Tarts. He followed Matt back through the living room to the small hall that led to the bedrooms.

"Here we have my room," he said, pushing the door open and revealing another cluttered room, though it wasn't as bad as the living room. More posters covered the walls, and Mello picked out one for _Star Wars_ that was on the far wall. The bed was positioned against the center of the wall to the left, covered in a simple black comforter, and had a laptop sitting on it which was plugged into the wall, charging. The small night stand to the left of it held a lamp; what looked like a picture frame from where Mello was standing, but between the glare from the light coming in through the window and the angle it was at, he couldn't tell what the picture was of; an another ashtray; and one of those handheld game things, though as for which one, Mello wasn't sure. A stack of comic books sat near the closet to the right.

With no further explanation, Matt moved down to the end of the hall to the bathroom, which turned out to be much less interesting than the living room or Matt's bedroom with the exception of the Super Mario Bros. themed shower curtain.

He led Mello back the way they had come from to the room across from Matt's. As the door was pushed open, Mello assumed that this was where he'd be sleeping, at least at first. Matt had said that he had an extra room, and Mello had taken it to mean that said room would be his. However, it didn't appear that this would be the case. "This is where I keep all my computer stuff," he said, gesturing to the interior of the room, though there was really no need to point it out; it was quite obvious by the boxes that lined the shelves of the bookcase in the room, wires and whatnot poking out over the tops. There was another set of shelves on the opposite wall which held a few books on different coding languages, and a desk that had a black laptop sitting on top of it. "Best of all," Matt said going to the desk, a wide grin on his face, "I finally finished the laptop I toldya I'd build."

"Really?" Mello asked excitedly, forgetting all about the issue of where he was supposed to be sleeping and, for that matter, all the weird stuff Matt had in his apartment as well. "Can I…?" he asked, moving to pick it up.

"You can do whatever you want with it. It's yours," Matt said with a laugh. "I was gonna give it to you Friday when I went over to Misa's, but I forgot to bring it, and then I figured I'd just wait till today."

Mello hesitantly lifted the top and pressed the power button, almost afraid that he was going to hurt it in some way. He'd never had a computer of his own before. "How much do I owe you for it?" he asked hesitantly. It looked pretty expensive.

"Naw, don't be ridiculous," Matt said with a shrug, and then nodded towards the door as the startup scripts ran, and 'Windows 7' was displayed on the screen, "C'mon." So Mello carefully picked it up and followed him back out to the living room where he sat down on the couch, already pulling out a cigarette and lighting it, using the piano bench as a foot rest. Mello sat down next to him, gingerly setting the computer in his lap. "Here, let me show you a couple things," he said, holding his hands out to take the laptop, and Mello gave it to him. "I already set everythin' up, downloaded what you'll need to get stahrted, your basic Microsoft shit, Word and all that good stuff," Matt said, pointing out the icons with the cursor as he explained, "I put some games on it, not much 'cause I wasn't sure what you'd want, but I have a ton on mine if you wanna check any of 'em out. You should be connected to my internet, and I set it up to print to the printer in my computer room, but I haven't tried printin' anthin' from it yet, so let me know if you have any problems. But," Matt paused dramatically and took a drag on his cigarette, flicking the ashes into the ashtray on the table beside the couch, "this is the best pahrt." He clicked on the iTunes icon, bringing it up in a new window. "I took the liberty of loadin' some music in for you. Gave you a nice little sample of some of my personal favorites, even put 'em in a playlist for you," he said, clicking on the playlist.

Mello leaned over to see better the screen and scoffed at what Matt had titled the playlist. "'Good Music'?" he said, rolling his eyes, "Really?"

"Well, that's what it is," Matt said, very matter of fact.

"Right. Of course," Mello returned with a laugh, but then a thought crossed his mind which made the 'Good Music' playlist much more intriguing. "Do you have any of _your_ music on here?"

"Heh, no. It's not really _ready_," he said running a hand through his hair, and Mello thought better of pressing the subject. Not that Matt gave him the opportunity to do so."Uh, you have anythin' you wanna load in? Whatever you brought over from your old computer?" Matt asked quickly, changing the subject. He hit the 'shuffle' icon, and an upbeat techno song started coming from the speakers of his new computer, seemingly making him forget about what had just been said. "Oh man," Matt laughed, "Of course the most embarrassin' song I gave you is the first one that comes on." Even so, Matt continued to let the song play, turning to Mello and asking, "So? You wanna load in anythin'?"

"Oh, uh, yeah," he said, getting up to go dig around his box of stuff, and pulled out the flash drive he'd stored his music on. He sat back down on the couch and handed it to Matt, all the while wondering why exactly they were listening to this song. "_This_ is good music?" he asked, more skeptical than ever in Matt's taste in music.

"Ha, well…not exactly," he admitted, glancing over and giving Mello an awkward little smile as he slid the flash drive into one of the USB ports on the side. "Blood on the Dance Floor…They're kinda like my guilty pleasure of music," he explained almost hesitantly as he brought up a new window that displayed the contents of Mello's flash drive. "This is all you have?" he asked, shocked, "'Music' and…'Writing Stuff'?" he read the names of the two folders before turned to Mello, looking impressed. "You write?"

"Uh, no, not really. It's just the stuff from my English classes that I couldn't bring myself to delete. I just got rid of most everything else so I didn't have to buy something bigger to store it on. Not that I had a whole lot saved on our computer. Just my music and some school stuff," he explained.

"Can I read it?" Matt asked, and Mello could immediately feel his cheeks start to burn.

"My writing?"

"Yeah, but I mean, I don't have to…" he trailed off, turning back to the computer and started the transfer of Mello's files, clearly having noticed that it made him uncomfortable.

Mello sat there, watching as the little progress bar inched forward as his files were moved over to the laptop, hating that his cheeks continued to burn. It really wasn't a big deal; it was just that no one had ever expressed any interest in reading anything he'd written before. Sure, his English teachers had told him that he was a good writer, but even so, they'd _had_ to read what he'd turned in. "You can if you want," he ventured, "Just not right now. I don't want to be here if you read any of it." He could just imagine how nervous he'd be if he actually knew that Matt was reading something he'd written. It was better if he were at work or something, blissfully ignorant to it.

"Ahre you sure? If it's private or whatever, I'll forget about it."

"No… Like I said, just stuff I had to write for school. You can read it if you want," he shrugged, trying to act nonchalant even though the idea of Matt reading anything he'd written made his heart jump into his throat.

"Alright then," Matt smiled, honestly seeming excited, and it was a strange concept for Mello. Why would someone want to read something he'd written? But even so, it appeared to put Matt in a good mood. He tapped out the beat of the song playing on the edge of the laptop and started singing quietly to himself as the song came back around to the chorus. "Don't judge me, just love me. I'm not a criminal, I'm innocent, so come and set me free. I choose ecstasy, and music's my religion, magic is my kingdom, and the dance floor is my heaven."

Mello could only stare at the redhead as he sang; he clearly had no idea how ridiculous he sounded. It wasn't the odd lyrics or even the strange contrast between Matt's much deeper voice and the higher pitched voice in song; rather, it was just that Matt was a terrible singer.

"What?" the redhead demanded when he noticed Mello staring.

"You're, uh, music doesn't have singing in it, does it?" Mello asked.

"Oh, ha ha. I know I can't sing," Matt said, his tone flat, but a small smile came to his lips, letting Mello know that he wasn't actually offended. "And no, to answer your question, it's just the music, no singin'."

"That's probably for the best," Mello said jokingly, giving Matt a cheeky smile.

"Oh, right, well I'd like to see you do any better."

Mello shook his head. "Sorry, don't know the words to the song." Besides, he didn't really feel like making a fool of himself. He could remember being in the children's choir at church when he'd been little, but even so, he'd never thought that he was very good.

"Excuses," Matt said, shaking his head in mock disappointment. His bangs flopped into his eyes, and he took a second to brush them out of the way, moving his goggles to rest on top his head before his hand went back to cigarette between his lips, now only a short stub. He removed it from between his lips, smashing it down in the ashtray on the table next to the couch and lighting another absentmindedly. "Damn. Last one," he grumbled, crumpling the now empty pack in his palm and placing it next to the ashtray. The entire thing made Mello sick to his stomach.

He thought of what Misa had said to him, and considered saying something to Matt about his addiction. A part of him wanted to, he wanted to let everything out and let the chips fall where they may, but the side of him that wanted to just ignore it and forget about what it reminded him of won out. It could wait. Matt had just opened up his apartment to him and given him a new laptop; scolding him for smoking hardly seemed the way to repay him.

He heard Matt say something, bringing him out of his thoughts. "What?" he asked, not having been paid attention.

"D'you want me to open a window?" he asked, holding up the cigarette.

"Oh, yeah, sure…" he said and took his laptop from Matt when he got up. He watched as Matt pushed the window open, the sounds of the street below tumbling in and mixing with the song that was playing, which unlike the first, he knew he'd heard before, probably in Matt's car.

"Sorry," Matt apologized on his way back to the couch, "Not used to havin' guests over." But then a pink tint crept into his cheeks, and he added, "Well, I guess you're, uh, not really a guest."

Mello quickly looked away from Matt. As of about fifteen minutes, they'd officially been living together, but besides his suitcase still sitting by the door, it hardly felt like it. The very idea seemed odd at the moment.

But as Matt sat back down next to him on the couch, he saved Mello from having to come up with a response. "Oh good, it's done," he said, unplugging the flash drive and handing it back to Mello before telling him, "Go get your iPod."

He handed the laptop back to Matt, eager for the distance that the simple task put between them. He'd packed his stuff back into the box he'd brought it to California in and had walked into Matt's apartment knowing full well what it meant, but just exactly what it meant hadn't really hit him until Matt had pointed out that he was, in fact, not a guest. That same feeling of it being too soon which he'd experienced when Takada had first brought it up came flooding back. But he'd made his bed, and now he would have to lay in it.

Or, he would if he knew where he'd be sleeping.

"Here," he said, handing it to Matt along with the white cable to connect it to the computer, and sat back down a bit further from Matt than he had been before.

"Wow," Matt said, looking the iPod over, "Second generation Nano. When did'ya even get this?"

"When I was in middle school," he answered curtly. He knew it was old; he didn't need Matt to tell him. Besides, it still ran fine, so he didn't really see the need to get a new one, not when he liked the one he had.

Matt shook his head in amazement but plugged it in without another word. A minute later, it was handed back to Mello. "There, now you don't have an excuse not to listen to the music I gave you," he said with little lopsided looking grin.

"Thanks," Mello returned sarcastically, "Just what I've always wanted."

"You're welcome," Matt offered enthusiastically, and Mello couldn't help but smile back. Maybe they had moved in together too soon, and maybe it would turn out to be a mistake. Or maybe everything would turn out fine and would be the best decision he'd made since moving to California. There was no way for him to know in that moment, not even twenty minutes into living with Matt, so he might as well look on the bright side: he was alone with his very attractive, albeit extremely nerdy boyfriend if the stuff he had in his apartment was any indication.

He started to lean in towards Matt, about to kiss him when he noticed the stormtrooper thing over the redhead's shoulder and pulled back. It felt like it was staring at him. It was more than a bit unnerving.

"Uh, is somethin' wrong?" Matt asked, giving Mello a confused look.

"No…" he mumbled, and rather than sitting their awkwardly after almost kissing Matt, he got back up and placed his iPod at the top of the box of his things. "Um, hey, where am I supposed to put my stuff?" he finally asked with the realization that he still had no idea where he was supposed to be sleeping that night. He did know where he _wanted_ to sleep, but he wasn't going to suggest it when the most they had done was make out a few times.

But the second the words left Mello's lips, this deer-in-the-headlights look came over Matt, and his mouth fell open like he wanted to say something, but no words came out. He finally brought the cigarette that sat between his fingers up to his lips and managed a vague "I-I dunno…" before he slowly blew the smoke out in a sigh. "I didn't really think this over," he admitted with a small nervous laugh. "Well, I guess there's…the couch and, uh, my room." He smashed the cigarette butt down into the ashtray next to the other, watching it intently as he spoke.

"Uh…" Mello started, wishing Matt would just tell him that it was fine if he slept in his bed rather than leaving it up to him.

"Or, uh, you could take my bed, and I'll take the couch," he said quickly when Mello didn't answer right away, his hands fidgeting almost continuously, pulling at a loose string in the couch, picking at his thumb nail, finally going to the pocket where he kept his cigarettes before drawing away when there was nothing there. "Yeah, that's prob'ly best," he decided, although it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself.

"Yeah, probably…" Mello agreed halfheartedly, watching Matt chew on his lower lip nervously.

"We can always figure somethin' else out later," Matt continued, getting up from the couch. "I need to… I'll be right back," he said and disappeared down the hall. Mello could hear him shuffling through some stuff in his room before returning with his keys in hand. "I'm gonna run to the store. You want anythin'?"

"No, I'm, uh, good," he managed to get out, knowing exactly what Matt was going to the store for.

"Alright, well, I'll be back soon," he said and leaned in to kiss Mello quickly before rushing out the door, leaving him standing there.

Mello's feet moved of their own accord, bringing him to the couch where he flopped down. The sound of a police siren blared in through the open window. He turned to look at the window, considering getting up to close it. He almost did but thought better of it. Everything in the apartment smelt of smoke.

He wished he'd said something to Matt about it…but he would have plenty of opportunities to bring it up in the future. He would bring it up when Matt got back…or maybe tomorrow. He had time. And besides, like Matt had said about their sleeping arrangements, they could figure things out later.

He looked around the room absentmindedly. The television, all the video game stuff, the posters that covered the walls, that stormtrooper thing standing in the corner. He stared back at it, musing over how familiar it looked until he finally remembered. It wasn't from _Star Wars_ like Matt had said, or at least that wasn't where Mello knew it from. Too bad Matt wasn't there for Mello to tell him.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** So I went back over my plans for this fic and brought them up to date, which is helpful to me but probably not terribly interesting for you guys. What I'm assuming _will_ be interesting for you is that I've added two chapters, so now this story will be 26 chapters rather than 24 as I had planned. Yay! I'm excited :D

As always, please review. Hearing from you guys really does make my day :3

Oh! And I almost forgot; does anyone have any guesses as to where Mello might have seen a stormtrooper before? Remember that he's never seen _Star Wars_, so it's not from that. Ha, if anyone actually guesses right, I'm going to be so surprised XD

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>kiki1070, Midnightkisses10, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, CatatonicVanity, samiekins17, Astreich689, DarkAngelJudas, GothicNerd469, brightnight003, NessaYume, Mustached Kira, GoldenCityBlues, Evidence Of Rain, MissBloodyWonderful


	12. Interlude: 3am

Matt: Dream On by Chasing Shadows  
>Mello: Medicate by A.F.I.<p>

**Interlude: 3am**

Mello slowly awoke in the dark room. He shifted, trying to get comfortable so he might go back to sleep, but when he did, his leg unexpectedly brushed something. He sat up abruptly, instantly disoriented when he found he wasn't on Misa's couch. Instead, he was sitting in a rather comfortable bed in a dark room, the only real light in the room a low glow peaking in around the shades covering the window coming from the city outside. As the events of the day before stared to come back to him, he remembered that he had gone to sleep in Matt's bedroom.

There was a soft snore to his left, and Mello looked down next to him to find Matt sleeping contently. It was strange to have Matt sleeping in the same bed as him; it was something that would certainly take a few nights to get used to.

Red numbers stared at him from over Matt's shoulder, the digital clock sitting on the nightstand on the other side of the bed informing him that it was 3:06 in the morning. Definitely too early to get up.

He lay back down only to sit back up a few seconds later, slowly getting up from the bed, trying not to wake Matt up. His bare feet padded across the hardwood floor as he made his way to the door, turning the doorknob and gently pulling it open.

Once outside the bedroom, he continued towards the kitchen, wincing when a floorboard creaked under his weight at the end of the short hall. He glanced back at the door to Matt's bedroom, which he'd left partway open. When he didn't hear anything, he assumed that it hadn't woken up the sleeping redhead.

It was strange to have to be so quiet getting up at night. He'd never really had to worry about waking Misa up as she was normally a pretty heavy sleeper, and he hadn't cared if he woke Takada up, not after she'd woke him up the morning after the rave. With Matt, however, he had no idea what would or wouldn't wake him up, and he didn't really want to take the chance to figure it out. Especially after he'd finally convinced him that sleeping in the same bed didn't have to mean anything.

By the time Matt had returned from his trip to the store, Mello had thought better of confronting Matt on his smoking habits so soon and had instead decided to focus his attention on something else.

When they had first decided to move in together, Matt had said that they didn't need to make a big deal out of it, yet he'd clearly gotten nervous when the topic of where Mello would be sleeping had been brought up. Just because they slept in the same bed didn't mean that they had to do anything, and besides, he felt bad for being the reason Matt would have to sleep on the couch in his own apartment.

So when Matt had returned, Mello had brought it up again. He'd explained his viewpoint, and surprisingly, Matt had actually responded well to what he'd had to say. Plus, Matt had seemed less nervous with Mello trying to be nonchalant about it.

As Mello continued towards the kitchen, a small smile came to his lips as he remembered the night before. They'd watched _Star Wars Episode IV_, and to Mello's surprise, he'd actually liked it; he still by no means considered himself to be a fan of sci-fi, but the movie had definitely been better than he'd thought it would be. Which was probably a good thing considering they still had two more movies in the trilogy to go, not including the prequel trilogy which he was sure Matt would want him to watch.

Mello looked around the kitchen, trying to remember which cupboard he'd seen Matt take cups out of. It took two tries before he found the right one and pulled a glass out to fill it half full with water. He took a sip, leaning against the counter.

He looked around the kitchen, bringing the glass to his lips again. It was still weird to think that he was living with Matt, and even though he'd only moved up one flight of stairs, it felt like he was miles away from where he had been twenty-four hours ago. Of course it would take time to get used to, but he hoped the adjustment would be a quick one; he didn't really want a repeat of the night before.

Although Matt had agreed to sleeping in the same bed as Mello, once it was actually time for them to get ready to go to bed, things had gotten a bit awkward. Neither of them had seemed to know how to handle it, which had lead to them taking turns changing in Matt's room and awkwardly trying to share the tiny bathroom space.

It had been terrible trying to go to sleep, lying only a couple inches from Matt. Despite his best efforts, Mello's mind had kept wandering, imagining what they _could_ be doing in that bed rather than sleeping. He had wanted to rip the faded 'Body By Nintendo' shirt that Matt had put on to sleep in right off him. Instead, he'd tried to focus on something, anything else and had eventually managed to fall asleep.

Realizing that at that point he was more or less just stalling, Mello set the now empty glass down on the counter and started back towards the bedroom, but as he stepped back into the living room, his heart leapt into his throat. There was someone standing in the corner of the room.

It took him a couple seconds to realize that it was only Matt's life-size stormtrooper model. He didn't understand how anyone could want something like that in their living room, whether it be Matt or Barney Stinson. Really, the thing was kind of creepy.

Of course, when he'd told Matt he'd seen the stormtrooper on the show _How I Met Your Mother_ in Barney's apartment, he'd only received a blank stare. He still couldn't believe that Matt didn't like one of his all time favorite shows, though he supposed it made sense. The more he found out about Matt, the less it seemed they had in common.

He continued towards the bedroom, glaring at the stormtrooper all the way. Sure, it wasn't its fault that he was having second thoughts about moving in with Matt, but it made him feel a little better to be mad at it. That was easier than being angry with himself for not thinking things through.

He let out a sigh, resigning himself to the bedroom. There was nothing he could do about it at 3am anyway, so he might as well try to get some sleep. He could figure out how he wanted to handle things in the morning.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Okay, so, sorry this chapter was a week late… I had some problems figuring out what I wanted to do with this and the next couple chapters, which ended up putting me a week behind. I was going to include this as part of chapter 12, but then I felt like it needed to be its own thing. Sadly, I don't have a full chapter for you, but on the bright side, I ended up resolving some of the problems I was having with this part of the story by adding another chapter later down the line, so _now_ this fic will be 27 chapters long not including the interlude. Of course if I keep adding chapters like I've been doing, I don't think it will ever be done…

I know this is getting long, but there is one more thing I want to address. Thank you to everyone who reviewed and especially to those who tried to guess where Mello had seen a stormtrooper before; they certainly were interesting to read. To my surprise, I did receive one correct guess. Congratulations to NessaYume who guessed correctly on the stormtrooper thing! I really wish I had a prize or something… This got me thinking that maybe I'll do some sort of contest in the future? The only thing I can really think of for a prize would be a writing commission, but a contest could still be fun, right? Anybody like this idea? Also, thank you to snow867 for the most _creative_ guess :)

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>ToLazy2LogInButIWillNextTime, Evidence Of Rain, CatatonicVanity, kiki1070, kay-kw33n, 494dwangel, NessaYume, DarkAngelJudas, teB360, GothicNerd469, snow867, XxHeartlessKissxX, BehindHappyFaces, samiekins17, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, brightnight003


	13. Chapter 12: Mail

Matt: Don't Know by MitiS  
>Mello: Lost In You by Three Days Grace<p>

**Chapter 12: Mail**

Mello was forced back awake by a wretched, screechy, beeping noise, sitting up with a jolt. He heard a groan to his left, and Matt's hand sluggishly made its way over to slap the top of the alarm clock, putting an end to the terrible sound. He let his hand slip from the alarm clock to dangle off the edge of the bed, using his other hand to take the pillow out from under his head and place it over his face, covering his eyes.

Mello looked down at Matt next to him, or at least, at the pillow Matt's head was hiding under, his heart still pounding in his chest from the unexpected alarm. He heard Matt mumble something but couldn't understand him with the pillow over his head.

"What?" he asked, and Matt lifted the corner of the pillow up.

"You can go back to sleep if you want," he said, his voice groggy.

"I'm fine," Mello responded, letting out a small snort of amusement. Right, like he'd really be able to go back to sleep after that. He swung his feet off the edge of the bed and stood up, stretching his arms above his head.

"You're a mornin' person, ahren'tcha?" Matt grumbled into the pillow, still not giving any indication that he was planning on getting up for work anytime in the near future.

"Not normally," he said, and Matt peeked out from under the pillow to give him a skeptical look. In all honesty, he normally wasn't, at least not like this anyway. The difference today was that awful alarm; he was a pretty light sleeper to begin with, and after that alarm, he was now wide awake. Besides, as he'd lain there, trying to go back to sleep after getting up at three in the morning, he'd decided that he couldn't focus on the differences. Rather, he had to try to be more optimistic, so that's exactly what he was going to do.

He brushed off Matt's disbelief and made his way around the bed to his box of stuff, which was currently sitting by the closet, and started digging around for his hairbrush. Instead, his hand landed on something unexpected: a bottle of…something. It was too small to be his shampoo or conditioner, which still should be in the box since he hadn't taken a shower in Matt's apartment yet.

He pulled out the bottle and squinted down at it, trying to read what was written on the sticky note on the front of it in the dim lighting. 'Enjoy! Love, Misa,' it read in her large, curvy handwriting. He instantly got a sinking feeling in his stomach and hesitantly peeled the square of yellow paper off the front on the bottle. "Oh God…" he mumbled, reading the label, and quickly looked over at Matt who, for all appearances, seemed to have fallen back asleep.

Leave it to Misa to get him a bottle of lube as a gift.

He quickly buried the bottle at the bottom of the box, not wanting Matt to see it if he ever did decide to get up, and grabbed his hairbrush, heading for the door. He could just imagine how presumptuous that would look on his part if Matt did see it.

The second he opened the door and stepped out into the hall, the smell of coffee hit his nose, and he remembered Matt getting it ready the night before and setting it on a timer. He didn't think Matt had any milk or creamer in the refrigerator, but hopefully, he would have some sugar somewhere. At the very least, he needed it to be sweet; he hated the bitter taste of black coffee.

He made his way to the bathroom, and by the time he had brushed his hair, pulling it back into a ponytail to go running, shaved, and washed his face, Matt still hadn't gotten up. Instead, that awful alarm sounded again from the other room, only to be quieted by another slap of Matt's hand. Mello expected to see him getting up as he walked past the bedroom, but when he glanced in, Matt was still lying in bed.

He made his way out to the kitchen in search of something to eat, but as he opened the refrigerator door, he remembered how little food Matt had in his apartment. He looked through the fridge and cupboards, but the best thing he could come up with was frozen hash browns.

He pulled out a frying pan and found a bottle that had about a tablespoon of canola oil left in the bottom and turned one of the stove burners on, wishing they would have saved the chocolate Pop-Tarts rather than eating them last night during the movie. He dumped the oil in the frying pan, refilling the glass he'd left on the counter when he'd woken up in the middle of the night while he waited for the pan to warm.

He heard the alarm clock go off for a third time, once again to be quickly silenced, but to Mello's surprise, he heard Matt slowly make his way out of his room and towards the kitchen. "You're cookin'?" he asked with a yawn, rubbing the sleep from his eyes with his hand.

"Hash browns," Mello responded, watching as Matt pulled out one of the chairs at the small table and flopped down onto it. He looked like he was still half asleep, and his hair was messy, sticking up in odd directions, with his goggles partially hidden in it. Mello knew he hadn't worn the goggles to bed as he remembered Matt sitting them on the nightstand before lying down, yet it seemed odd that one of the first things he did in the morning would be putting them on.

"Hmm, thanks," Matt said, yawning again, "but you didn't hafta do that."

"It's no problem," Mello said, looking down at the instructions on the package.

"How long's it gonna be?"

"Ten minutes on each side," Mello read off the package, and Matt got up to sluggishly walk out of the room.

"Gonna take a shower," he mumbled.

The first response that came to Mello's mind was 'Care if I join you?' He was certain _that_ would wake Matt up, but he thought better of it and instead gave a simple "Sure."

• • •

"Smells good," Matt said with a smile, reappearing nearly twenty minutes later. He seemed much more awake than he had been, leaning on the door frame between the living room and kitchen, already dressed in his Best Buy uniform, his hair still wet from his shower.

"Thanks," Mello returned, noticing the goggles still sitting on top of Matt's head, and the thought crossed his mind that Matt might have forgotten to take them off before he got into the shower. He dismissed the idea as silly and started plating the hash browns.

"Ha, if I knew you could cook, I would've asked you to move in sooner," Matt said jokingly, taking a large red coffee cup out of one of the cupboards and filling it to the brim.

"Well, sorry to disappoint, but I can't _really_ cook. If it comes in a box with instructions, I can manage, but other than that…" he said and shrugged his shoulders, "not really."

"I s'pose that's good, 'cause I don't really buy anythin' that doesn't come in a box with instructions," Matt said and took a sip of his coffee. "Somethin' wrong?" he asked when Mello grimaced.

"How can you drink that?" he asked, frowning at the cup in Matt's hand filled with the black liquid. It must have been at least twice as big as a normal coffee cup.

"Kinda like this," he said, bringing the cup back up to his lips. He swallowed and nodded. "Yup, like that." Mello only shook his head and handed one of the plates to Matt who took it in his free hand. "Grab the ketchup," he told Mello, nodding towards the refrigerator as he started for the living room. He did so, following Matt out of the room.

"Is there something wrong with the table?" Mello asked, not knowing why they wouldn't eat breakfast at the kitchen table.

"Huh? Oh. Naw, I just never eat in there," he said and sat down on the couch, setting his coffee cup on the small table next to the couch and putting his feet up on the piano bench. He held his hand out for the ketchup bottle and covered the top of his hash browns in a zigzag of red when Mello gave it to him.

Mello was about to ask why when he noticed a small corner of white sticking out from under the couch. He bent down, pulling an envelope out from under the edge of couch, and sat down next to Matt, setting his plate in his lap. Mello stared down at the envelope, confused. It appeared to be an electrical bill, but that wasn't what was odd about it. The strange thing was who it was addressed to.

"What's that?" Matt asked, leaning over to get a better look at it. "Oh shit!" he exclaimed, dropping his fork to clatter on his plate and grabbing the envelope out of Mello's hands. He frantically tore it open but then paused as he was about to take the bill out. "Wait, of course it's not late. The electricity is still on," he said more or less to himself and set it down next to his coffee, not even bothering to look at it.

"So…did you change your name or something?" Mello said with a laugh, not sure why someone named Mail was receiving mail at Matt's apartment.

"No…" Matt answered, giving him a strange look, clearly not having seen the mistake on the envelope.

"Okay…then who is Mail? Is there someone else living here that I don't know about?" he asked jokingly.

Matt looked confused for a second before a look of understanding came over his features. "It's pronounced 'Mile'," he sighed. "It's my name. Mail Jeevas."

"'Mile'?" Mello repeated. The word felt weird leaving his mouth. That wasn't Matt's name.

"Yeah," Matt said simply and went back to eating his hash browns as if nothing of importance had happened. Mello, however, felt strange about the whole thing. "Everythin' okay?" Matt asked him, giving Mello a concerned expression.

"Yeah… I mean, I didn't think your name was Matt; I just figured it was short for Matthew," he said slowly.

"Ha, I wish. I hate my name. Got made fun of for it when I was little. So I gave myself a normal name."

Mello looked at him in surprise. Sometimes it seemed like they had next to nothing in common. Maybe they weren't so different after all. "Me too."

"What? Gave yourself a normal name?" Matt said with a laugh.

"No, got made fun of for my name," he said, rolling his eyes before adding, "My name's Mihael."

"So then where'd 'Mello' come from?" Matt asked, honestly sounding interested.

"I don't remember exactly—people have been calling me that since kindergarten. I remember getting into a fight with some kid who was making fun of my name; maybe it was supposed to be ironic or something, but it stuck, and it just sort of became my name. Of course 'Mello' was probably a weirder name than 'Mihael,' and I still got teased."

"I think 'Mihael' sounds pretty," Matt said with a smile, and although it was probably meant to be a compliment, Mello only sighed.

"Yeah, that probably didn't help," he grumbled, picking at the hash browns on his plate with his fork.

"Whadya mean?"

"That's another thing people made fun of me for, looking like a girl. I was always really small and…_feminine_." He spat the last word out, grimacing as it left his tongue. God, he hated people sometimes.

"Hmph, yeah, kids are mean," Matt said, shaking his head.

"Yeah…" It was hardly the response Mello had been hoping for, but he would take it; he didn't want Matt to lie to him and say that he didn't think he looked feminine if he did. Or maybe he was reading too much into Matt's simple response. He was certain that there had probably been plenty of kids who had been mean to Matt what with how dorky he was. And if he had worn those goggles… "So, uh, what about your goggles?" he asked, hoping Matt would pick up on what he was getting at.

"What about them?" Matt asked, giving him a blank stare.

"Well…how long have you had them?" he asked, trying to lead Matt in the right direction. But Matt's answer was hardly what he'd been expecting.

"About a year now."

"Really?"

"Yeah… Why?" Matt asked, clearly confused by how much his response had surprised Mello.

"I just figured you'd had them for a while. You seem so attached to them," he said with a shrug, trying to cover his embarrassment; he had been _way_ off.

"Oh…heh, yeah, that's because my sister gave them to me," Matt said, looking down at his food, suddenly quiet. It gave Mello the impression that he'd stumbled upon a very personal subject, and although he didn't want to force Matt into a conversation he didn't want to have, Matt's sudden change of attitude left him wondering. Besides, Matt had mentioned her once before and hadn't acted weird about it then.

"How old did you say she was?" Mello tried.

"Seven. She'll be eight in October."

"What's her name?"

"Tegan. My parents were all about _unique_ names," he said with a small laugh. "I told 'em when she was born to give her a nice, normal name, but they didn't listen to me. She seems okay with it though. She's a lot stronger than I was." A smile spread across Matt's face as he spoke these words, and Mello could see how proud of her he was.

There were so many things that he wanted to ask, but Mello felt like he was intruding on something personal just by sitting there. He'd never seen Matt so introspective before. Sure, Matt would occasionally become distant, but it had always been a product of him being shy or awkward. Nothing like this.

Matt stared blankly at the piano bench his feet were resting on, deep in though. The smile stayed on his lips although a sadness came to his eyes, wavering slightly as his hand absentmindedly made its way to the spot on his chest over his heart.

Mello watched Matt with worry. He had no idea why the topic of his sister had made Matt so quiet and sentimental, and he wondered if maybe something had happened to her. Although Matt did refer to her in the present tense…

But Matt's hand suddenly left his chest and moved to take his goggles from atop his head. He held them loosely in his hands, looking down at them for a moment before turning to Mello. "She gave 'em to me the day I left for California," he explained, the sadness gone from his eyes, replaced by what could only be described as nostalgia. "She, uh, told me to wear 'em anytime I was DJin' and to pretend like no one could see me when I had 'em on," he said with a small laugh, but when Mello gave him a confused look, he continued. "See, 'cause she knew I didn't like gettin' up in front of people. Even when I wasn't playin' any of my own music or my remixes…I dunno, I guess it's stage freight or whatever. I mean, I know people are prob'ly more concerned with the music than with me, but it's just…nerve wrackin' bein' in front of people like that.

"I was so surprised when she came into my room that mornin' and told me that," he continued. "She's so insightful, so smahrt for her age. I mean, I guess it's a kinda naïve way of lookin' at it—of course people can still see me when I have 'em on—but it does help. It's sorta a barrier between me and them, y'know?"

Mello nodded. It made sense, or at least, he could understand why Matt would feel that way. Matt was hardly the most social person, so it seemed fitting that he wouldn't want the public eye on him.

"I still dunno where she got 'em from or where she even got the money; anytime she wanted to go somewhere, she'd asked me. Maybe one of the maids took her," he mused, and for a second, Mello was surprised by this simple sentence. He'd forgotten that Matt's parents were rich. "I'm guessin' it wasn't one of my parents 'cause when I wore them to the airport, they told me to take 'em off and that they looked ridiculous. I almost did but kept 'em on for my sister. I've basically just been wearin' them ever since because they remind me of her."

"So you were, uh, close to her then?" Mello asked. He knew it sounded dumb, but he didn't know how else to ask it. Not having any siblings himself, he didn't have anything to gauge Matt's relationship with his sister against. Were all brothers and sisters that close? And although he had been expecting an affirmative answer, the response Matt gave him wasn't quite what he'd thought Matt would say.

"Yeah… I practically raised her," he said, and Mello's jaw dropped, causing Matt to laugh at his reaction.

"You…raised her?" he managed to get out, dumbfounded.

"Remember when I toldya I was basically raised by a nanny?" he asked, and Mello nodded. That had been back before they were dating, when they'd gotten lunch at that Thai food place. It was strange to think how much things had changed since then. "I didn't want that to happen to her," he told Mello with a melancholy little smile. "My mom and dad had a very hands off approach to parentin'. I remember when I was in second grade and my class put on a play, my parents didn't even bother to show up; they had to work," he said with a grimace. "I knew they would be the same way with Tegan, so I stepped up instead. I mean, I still had to go to school and stuff, and a nanny took care of her when I wasn't home, but I did try to be there for her like my parents never were.

"It killed me to leave for college, and at the last minute, I decided I could just go someplace close to home so I didn't have to leave her. I didn't want to hurt her…" Matt said, stopping for a second to collect himself, his hand going to his chest again, making Mello wonder why. Matt swallowed thickly and continued. "I didn't want to hurt her, not after I'd made her cry when I first told her I was leavin'… But after I decided to give up on goin' to UCLA, she told me that she'd be alright and that I needed to go for my music. I couldn't believe it when she said that. I didn't even realize she understood how important my music is to me… I mean, ahren't little kids s'posed to be self-centered or somethin' like that? And she's just so… She's brilliant," Matt finished, his voice cracking slightly. With that, he suddenly stood up, turning away from Mello. "This is dumb. I dunno why I'm tellin' you all this," he said, and Mello thought he saw Matt rub at his eyes with his free hand.

"No it's not," Mello said immediately, leaving his now empty plate sitting on the couch to stand slightly behind Matt. He placed his hand on Matt's shoulder, rubbing his thumb over it gently. It wasn't dumb; it was amazing the way he had taken care of his sister. Matt did some questionable things sometimes, things that Mello wished he wouldn't. Even so, Matt was truly a good person, and Mello didn't know if he'd been able to see that before, so caught up in his own issues.

And on top of everything, he was pretty sure that he was starting to fall in love with Matt.

"I need to go to work…" Matt mumbled, trailing off, but didn't move.

"Matt…?" Mello tried, but Matt didn't respond. "Thank you for telling me."

"Yeah… No problem…" But still, he didn't move, so Mello decided to take things into his own hands. He pulled on Matt's shoulder, getting him to turn around, and leaned in to place a kiss on Matt's lips. It was quick, ending in only a few seconds; a simple, chaste kiss. But it was also soft, gentle, sweet and held a lot of emotion behind it.

"Go get ready for work," he told Matt with a soft smile and took the plate from his hand. "I'll take care of the dishes," he offered.

"Thanks," he said, returning the smile, his hand trailing down Mello's arm, before turning towards the hall.

Mello picked up his own plate and grabbed the ketchup and Matt's coffee cup off the small table next to the couch, taking them to the kitchen. He rinsed them off quickly and stuck them in the dishwasher, heading towards the bathroom to brush his teeth just as Matt was stepping out of the bedroom, his keys in hand.

"Bye," Matt said, giving Mello a quick kiss before hurrying past him.

"Bye," Mello called after him, assuming that he was probably late as per usual. He heard the front door open and slam shut as he took his toothbrush out of the medicine cabinet.

It felt odd to have his stuff in an apartment that still didn't quite seem like his own—it was still _Matt's_ apartment, not _theirs_—but he was slowly starting to feel more at home. Matt had even cleared some of his things out of the way to make room for Mello's; no more fighting with Takada over space. For once, he felt entirely welcome in the place he was living.

He rinsed his mouth and returned his toothbrush and toothpaste to their place in the cabinet and went to the bedroom to change out of the clothes he had slept in. He pulled a clean tee-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts out of his suitcase to go running in. Despite the fact that Matt had room in his closet, all of Mello's clothes were still in his suitcase, at least for the moment; the problem wasn't space, but rather, a lack of hangers. Mello looked forward to the time when his belongings would be perfectly integrated into the apartment; then, it would truly feel like _theirs_.

But as he stood up, something caught his attention out of the corner of his eye: Matt's goggles sitting on the nightstand next to the bed. He knew Matt didn't wear them to work, but it still felt odd seeing them left there like that after he'd heard the story that went with them.

He walked over to the nightstand, sitting his clothes on the bed, and picked the goggles up, turning them over in his hands carefully. They certainly didn't look like anything special, but he knew better now. They were Matt's connection to his sister.

He sat them back down on the nightstand, but as he did so, it felt like something was missing. He looked over the contents of the small surface, trying to determine what was gone. He was about ready to give up, deciding that he was probably just imagining things when something came to mind. He couldn't be sure, but he thought that there had been a picture frame on the nightstand when he'd peeked into Matt's room the day before during the tour of the apartment. The more he thought about it, the more he remembered seeing it. But whether or not it actually had been there, it wasn't there now, and he wasn't about to go searching through Matt's room for something that he wasn't even sure existed, so he gave up on the entire idea.

He pulled his shirt off over his head, exposing the rosary hidden underneath, and slipped that over his head as well, tucking it down in the side of his suitcase. It always felt odd taking it off; the only time he ever did was to take a shower or when he went running. But as he did so, he remembered the way Matt had touched his chest, and the thought came to mind that maybe he was hiding something as well. It wasn't completely out of the realm of possibilities. After all, there was still a lot they didn't know about each other.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** So excited we're finally getting more into Matt and Mello's pasts! Well, not really Mello's quite yet, but you did get a nice little peak at what Matt's life was like before he moved out to California.

I've left a lot of little hints throughout the story thus far and have included a few snippets of what Mello's life was like, but you'll have to wait for the next chapter to hear the rest of Mello's story. Anyone care to throw some guesses out there and try to piece everything together? :)

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>Midnightkisses10, kay-kw33n, kiki1070, XxHeartlessKissxX, brightnight003, NessaYume, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, Don't Forget Hope, DarkAngelJudas, Evidence Of Rain, 494dwangel, teB360, Mahri


	14. Chapter 13: Intimate

**Author's Note: **Okay, so if you listen to only one song that I've suggested in this fic, listen to Mello's for this chapter. Even if you've already heard it before, go listen to it again. I consider it to be the single most important song for this story, so please take the extra couple minutes to go look it up.

* * *

><p>Mello: Walking Disaster by Sum 41<br>Matt: Let It Be by Blackmill (Ft. Veela)

**Chapter 13: Intimate**

Mello's cell phone chimed, and he pulled it out of his pocket to flip it open. 'New message from Matt' the small screen informed him. 'Hey whats all this crap on the counters? and where r u?' it read, and he let out a small laugh, knowing exactly what Matt was referring to.

"What is it?" Misa asked, leaning over to get a better view of the screen.

"I think I'm gonna get going," he said, standing up and quickly typing out 'be right up' before returning his ancient flip phone to his pocket.

"Let me guess," Misa said flatly, crossing her arms over her chest, "Matt calls and you come running."

"He didn't call, he texted," he said, shooting her a cheeky grin, "Besides, I've been over here for three hours."

"And?" Misa's hands went to her hips.

"And…" he tried, but his phone chimed again. His hand instinctively went to his pocket, but he thought better of it, crossing his arms over his chest instead.

"Go ahead," she sighed, "Get it. I know you'd rather be with him than me."

"Misa, don't be ridiculous. I just-"

"Now I'm being ridiculous, am I?" she said, making it sound more like an accusation than a question. "You're the one who came over unannounced, refused to talk about how things are going with you and Matt, and then jump up to leave the second he texts you."

"Okay, to be fair, you didn't ask how things were going between me and Matt; I believe your exact words were 'So have you two had sex yet?'"

"Well, you were alone with Matt in his apartment for an entire night. I'm pretty sure that's a valid question."

"Yeah, we were alone for _one_ night. We moved in together _yesterday_. Sorry to disappoint you, but I wasn't going to just jump his bones the first night no matter how much-" But he caught himself and stopped. He didn't want to encourage Misa further.

"No matter how much you wanted to?" she asked innocently, finishing for him, the pout on her lips slowly changing to a suggestive little grin.

"Why do our conversations always lead back to me and Matt having sex?" he sighed, trying to dodge her question.

"Because you never tell me anything," she said very matter of fact, looking at him expectantly.

"Right. Let's keep it that way."

"Melloooo," she whined, and the pout returned to her face.

"No, Misa. Absolutely not." That was it. End of conversation. He wasn't going to talk about it anymore. "I love you, Misa, but I have to go, okay?"

"Fine," she sighed, rolling her eyes. "One day living with Matt, and you're already whipped."

"I'm not- You know, never mind," he said and turned to leave. He was done arguing with Misa.

"No, wait! I'm sorry!" she called out, flinging herself at him and wrapping her arms around him. "I'm sorry. I love my Mel-Mel, and I don't want him to be mad at me," she mumbled into his chest.

"I know," he sighed, "I'm sorry too." He didn't want to leave angry. Besides, he missed her too, which was why he'd come over in the first place. The idea of not seeing her everyday was strange after they'd spent the past month living with each other.

"You better be," Misa said jokingly, letting him go. "Now don't keep Matt waiting," she added with a wink, flashing him a smile.

"Right," he said, rolling his eyes. "Bye, Misa."

"Bye," she called out after him as he started out the door and down the hall. He waved over his shoulder, and she shut the door.

He pulled out his cell phone to check what Matt had sent him while he'd been trying to leave. 'Ur at Misas? I won't expect u anytime soon then. lol.' At least he had an excuse for why it took so long after he'd said he would be right up.

To be completely honest, when he'd went over there to wait for Matt to get home, he'd expected Misa to ask if they'd slept together—it would have been naïve to think otherwise—but he hadn't thought things would go as far as they had. Maybe she really did just miss him. Or maybe living alone with Takada was driving her insane.

As he started up the stairs, taking them two at a time, he briefly wondered where Takada had been. It seemed like she would have relished the unexpected chance to make his life harder than it had to be. Not that he cared. He preferred to avoid her at all costs.

He made his way to Matt's apartment, but when he opened the door, he didn't see the redhead anywhere. There was a laptop sitting on the piano bench in front of the couch and an open can of Monster on the table next to it, but no Matt. A few seconds after closing the door, however, he heard "So ahre we stockin' up for the apocalypse or somethin'?" He followed Matt's voice to the kitchen where he found him reading over the instructions on the back of the frozen pizza box he must have discovered in the freezer, having already changed out of his work clothes, his goggles returned to their proper place on top of his head.

"You know, normal people actually do keep food in their apartments," Mello said, looking over the grocery bags he'd left on the counter. After he'd gotten back from running, he'd taken a shower and made a trip to the grocery store, deciding that if he didn't want to starve, he was going to have to take matters into his own hands. That was one thing Takada had been good for; she generally kept a decent amount of food in the apartment.

"Do they?" Matt said, turning to give Mello a look of mock surprise. "And I suppose normal people keep this much chocolate in their apahrtments too," he added, giving one of the grocery bags a poke before going back to the pizza box.

"Yeah, well, I never claimed to be normal," Mello said, taking one of the bars of chocolate out of the bag and tearing the wrapper down to take a bite.

"And you plan on eatin' all that? There's gotta be like twenty bahrs in there."

"Yeah. Should be enough for a week or two."

"Seriously?" Matt said, giving him a look of disbelief.

"Yeah?"

"Well, whatever you want I guess," Matt said, shaking his head. He went to turn the oven on, sliding the frozen pizza onto the rack. "You know, if I end up burnin' the buildin' down, it's your fault."

"How would that be my fault?" Mello asked with a laugh, taking another bite of chocolate. Going to the grocery store had definitely been a good idea. He didn't know how long he would have been able to go without chocolate.

"I was gonna ask if you wanted to go out for dinner, but then I came home and found all this food in the apahrtment, and you took a long time. Therefore, if I burn the buildin' down, it's your fault," Matt explained.

"Come on, it's frozen pizza. How hard can it be?"

"You overestimate my cookin' abilities," Matt said with a laugh.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," he shrugged. Between the two of them, it seemed like they should be able to manage. "So where does this stuff go?" he asked, gesturing towards the grocery bags. He'd put the cold stuff away in the refrigerator and freezer when he'd gotten back, but he had no idea where Matt kept everything else.

"Wherever you want. I toldya, I don't go shoppin'. Just throw things in whatever cupboard you want," Matt said, and he started doing just that. It didn't even really look like he took the time to notice what he was putting away, that is, until he found a bag that had fruit in it. "What do we need fruit for?" he asked, giving Mello a look of disgust.

"I don't know. I like fruit sometimes," he said defensively. Takada always bought fruit, and he had gotten used to it being there on the counter when he wanted it. Besides, fruit tasted good; it was sweet. It wasn't like he'd bought vegetables.

"Hey, no big deal," Matt said with a laugh, "I don't care what you buy just as long as you don't make me eat it."

"Ha, don't worry. I won't force-feed you fruit," he said, putting the last of the groceries away, and tossing the chocolate wrapper in the garbage can before he followed Matt into the living room.

"Oh good. Wouldn't want you to ruin my diet of fast food," Matt said with a laugh, picking the computer up and setting it in his lap, putting his feet up on the piano bench where the laptop had been.

"Nice computer," Mello said sarcastically, going to sit next to Matt.

"Huh? Oh. Yeah," he said, a smile coming to his face as he turned the laptop around to see the lid. The outlines of two rather lopsided hearts stood out on the lid of the laptop in neon paint, one green, the other pink. "Tegan used to put them on _everythin'_. Gettin' her that finger paint set for her fifth birthday was definitely a mistake," he said, and although his words were regretful, his voice was soft and nostalgic.

"And you left them on there?" Mello asked cautiously. It really surprised him that he would, but from what he knew of Matt's relationship with his sister, he thought it wise to tread lightly. "I would've figured you'd freak out about her painting on your computer."

"I did. Well, I guess it was more for her paintin' on the walls—that was awful to clean up—but I'm glad I ended up leavin' 'em on my laptop," he said, his fingers brushing lightly over the paint. "She always said she was the pink one and I was the green one. Her favorite color's pink, but I dunno why she picked green for me. I mean, I like neon green as much as the next guy, but my favorite color's blue," he added with a small laugh. "Right before I left home, I even…" And although, Mello waited for him to continue, Matt only stared down at the neon hearts painted onto his computer. "Never mind," he finally said, closing the lid to his laptop and turning towards Mello. "You know, you never told me about your family." It wasn't accusing or prying, just curious, but Mello was so taken aback by the simple sentence, and it must have shown on his face. "I mean, you said a couple things before… You don't have to if you don't want to…" he trailed off.

"I…" Mello started, struggling to find the words. He considered trying to change the subject; Matt had said he didn't have to talk about it if he didn't want to, and he most certainly did not want to. But as he sat there like a deer caught in headlights, trying to figure out what to say, he couldn't think of a single reason why he shouldn't tell Matt. He'd have to eventually anyway, so why put it off? Besides, sitting there, thinking it over, he realized that he trusted Matt enough to finally let him in. "I-I mean, what's there to say? My dad's been in jail since I was five for aggravated assault and my mom's an alcoholic," he said staring down at his hands.

"I'm so sorry," Matt breathed out, and Mello's head snapped up to look at him.

"Don't say that. I can't have you pity me," he said, managing to keep his voice firm even though his eyes were pleading. That's exactly what he was afraid of, what had stopped him from going into any sort of detail the couple times something about his family had been brought up. He absolutely couldn't have Matt pity him.

"It's okay," Matt said gently, shaking his head slowly. It was hardly a conclusive answer, but Mello still found comfort in it. He would tell Matt, he _had_ to tell Matt. He deserved to know.

"I, uh, didn't actually find out why my dad was in jail until a couple years ago after I was already in anger management," he started, but as soon as he said those words, a look of shock flashed across Matt's face. "I broke my chemistry teacher's nose," he explained with a wry smile that probably came across more as a grimace.

"…Why?" Matt asked hesitantly, clearly unsure of whether he should or not.

"Because he called me a fag," he answered flatly and watched as relief spread across Matt's face.

"Then he kinda deserved it, right?"

"Yeah…I thought so. No one else did. No one even believed me, and I couldn't exactly prove it with no witnesses. I guess looking back I got off easy. There was talk of sending me to juvie, but since it was my first offense, they settled on anger management. I hated it, but it really wasn't that bad. The worst part was when my mom was driving me to my first meeting and made the comment that I was turning out just like my father.

"I couldn't believe it when she said that—we _never_ talked about him. I'd asked her about him a few times before that, but she would never tell me. Even after she said that I was turning out like him, the most I could get out of her was 'Let's just pray that I'm wrong.' So I did a bit of research on my own and discovered that he'd gotten into a fistfight with some guy and almost ended up killing him.

"After that, I couldn't stop thinking about it. What if I did end up like him? I mean, I was already in anger management at sixteen," he said, shaking his head. He took a deep breath, running a hand through his hair. He didn't want to talk about it anymore. It was a fear that he had to deal with on a daily basis, doing his best to suppress it, and it made it all too real to voice his concerns, hearing them spoken out loud as if by someone else. "I…I don't want to be like him. I would give anything to not be like him," he managed, feeling tears well up in his eyes.

He tried to rub them away, passing it off as running a hand over his face as if to prepare himself and collect his thoughts, which in a way, was exactly what he was doing. But as he tried to decide how to proceed, he felt Matt take hold of his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. He turned to look at Matt, finding an encouraging smile on his lips. "You won't," Matt said softly, "I know you won't end up like him because you'll do everythin' you can to prevent it, right?" Mello could only nod. "Then you won't end up like him."

"I hope you're right…" he said, and if there had been any doubts in his mind that he was falling in love with Matt, they were gone then. Matt seemed to continually surprise him, and each time, he found more things to love about him. The fact alone that he was handling everything so well told Mello a great deal about his character, and he loved what he saw.

"So…did'ya ever visit him in jail or anythin'?"

Mello shook his head. "No. I thought about it after finding that out, but I never did. I don't even know what I'd say to him if I did. I brought it up to my mother again though, and she said that he was just a good man who let his bad temper get the best of him. I don't know if I believe it though. It's hard to know what to believe out of my mother. It's almost like she wanted to defend him, but I can't remember a single time when she ever tried to defend me. Of course she was drunk most of the time and had a hard enough time keeping herself together, let alone helping me.

"She always managed to sober up for church on Sunday though, would go to confession, and then the drinking would just start again on Monday. She was so completely dependent on alcohol that I'm surprised she could go without for a whole day. Well, she probably drank on Sunday too and just didn't let anyone see.

"She raised me Catholic, but I never understood why she could drink all she wanted during the week and then have all her sins erased as long as she went to confession. I mean, it's not _exactly_ like that, but that's what it always seemed like. She could do whatever she wanted, but anytime I did something wrong, I never heard the end of it. It was always 'Why can't you be more like your cousin Near?'

"It wasn't like we were close with the rest of the family or anything—I don't think she even talked to her sister anymore—but her sister's son was perfect in her eyes. He was polite and well mannered; he didn't come home with black eyes and bloody lips from getting into fights at school. And then when he skipped a grade and ended up in the same class as me, everything became a competition between us.

"I worked so hard to beat him, but I was always second. I should have been valedictorian, not him," he grumbled, remembering how difficult it had been to have to sit there and listen to Near give his speech at graduation. "I mean, I didn't want to do well _only_ to beat Near—it was also so I could get a scholarship and get out of that shithole town—but it would have been nice to get some recognition, to _finally_ show my mother that I wasn't such a fuck up, you know?" He looked up at Matt for the first time in a while and was worried when he couldn't read his expression. It wasn't pity as he had been concerned it would be or fear as he had worried about when he'd brought up going to anger management. It was like Matt wanted to say something but didn't know how.

But when Mello looked over at him, he only nodded, adding in a simple "Yeah, I know whatcha mean…"

Mello could only stare at him. He was sure Matt hadn't meant anything offensive by what he'd said, but he was taken aback by it. How could Matt have any idea what it had been like for him. "Do you?" he asked and immediately wanted to take it back. He wasn't trying to start a fight, and he hoped Matt didn't see it for what it was: an accusation.

"Well, I'm sure it's not the same thing," Matt admitted with a small awkward laugh, "but for me it was 'It's not your job to take care of Tegan. That's what we hired the nanny for.' 'Why ahre you wastin' your time with that awful music? You should focus on doin' somethin' useful with your life.' 'If you wanna practice music, you should put your piano lessons to use. We paid good money for those lessons.' As if whatever money they did spend on 'em actually mattered. They wasted enough of their money on useless shit anyway.

"I hated those lessons," Matt continued, tipping the piano bench with his foot absentmindedly. "I mean, I'm sure learnin' to play the piano would've been fine if I wasn't forced into it. And then they stahrted makin' Tegan take lessons and she _begged_ me to take the piano with me when I was gettin' ready to move out so she wouldn't have to play it anymore. I couldn't exactly sneak a piano out of the house, but I stole the bench and stuck it in the movin' van at the last second. They ended up buyin' a new one of course, but at the very least, Tegan got a kick out of it and it pissed my parents off," Matt said, sounding quite proud of himself. "Besides, I think it makes a pretty good footstool."

"You…stole a piano bench from your parents?" Mello said, giving Matt a look of disbelief, trying to suppress a laugh, "Just to piss them off?" It was by far the strangest thing Matt had ever told him. Matt had been right in saying that his experiences weren't nearly the same as Mello's, but it still made him feel a bit better. Or perhaps it was the oddity of stealing something as useless as a piano bench to spite his parents that lifted Mello's spirits.

"Yeah… I mean, it was kinda dumb, right?" Matt said, sounding embarrassed, "I used to do stuff like that all the time. Like when I told my parents I was bi, my dad told me to stop bein' ridiculous and that I was just lookin' for attention, so later that week I told 'em I was invitin' one of my friends over for dinner. My _friend_ was actually my first boyfriend of course, and at dinner, I just blatantly made out with him. My mom and dad were _furious_. It was great," he laughed, but when he looked back over at Mello, the smile faded from his face. "Hey, everythin' okay, Mels?" he asked, sounding worried.

"Oh. Uh…yeah. It's just…my mother would have _killed_ me if I'd done something like that," he said, trying to lighten his tone. He attempted to smile, tried to pass it off as unimportant, but Matt didn't seem to buy it; he only looked even more concerned. "I, uh… when I came out to my mom, she kicked me out of the house," he confessed to Matt and watched as a look of shock and disgust came over his features. "Yeah. Uh, first she said that I was just confused and that she'd help me find my way back to God," he explained, and as the words left his lips, he could feel himself starting to break down. "But when I told her that I'd always had these feelings and that I knew that wasn't it, she lost it. She started yelling at me and told me that it was disgusting and sinful and that I was going to Hell for it. And she, uh, said that no son of hers was gay and told me to get out of the house," Mello managed to get out, trying his best to keep it together. He tried to swallow the growing lump in his throat, but it wouldn't go away. He knew if he continued, the tears he was fighting back would escape, but he had to. It was awful to continue, but he couldn't just stop.

"It's okay, Mels," Matt whispered to him even though there was no one else in the room. He pulled Mello's hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it, offering him an encouraging smile.

He couldn't believe how kind Matt was, how understanding he was being, and Mello couldn't help but feel like he didn't deserve him. Matt had given up part of his life to try to raise his sister and was actively pursuing his dream. What had Mello ever accomplished? He'd never won against Near, he'd had to move in with Misa so that he had a place to stay…he was stumbling around in the dark without a clue of where he was going. No, he didn't deserve Matt. Matt was too good for him. He would have to do everything in his power to deserve Matt; that was all he could do at the moment. So he took a deep breath and tried again.

"After that, I stayed with Misa's family for a while," he continued, his voice a bit stronger than it had been. "After about a week, my mom offered to let me move back in. I was so happy because I thought maybe that meant that she was going to be okay with it. But…" He was losing it again; the tears were returning to his eyes. "God, I was so stupid…" he breathed out, giving up and letting the tears roll down his cheeks. "When I got home, she told me that we needed to sit down and talk, and I knew…I _knew_ what was coming. She said that we could fix this, that I didn't have to live in sin, that it was my _choice_ to do what was _right_." The tears were flowing freely from his eyes now, and although his hand stayed locked in Matt's, he didn't dare look at him. "She said that I could get help… And," he paused, bracing himself, and used his free hand to pull his rosary out from under his shirt and over his head. He stared down at it, moving it around the palm of his hand. He felt exposed, naked, without it against his chest.

"She gave me this and told me to pray for the savior of my soul…like I was broken and needed to be fixed, like I was wrong… How can I be wrong if God made me this way? If this is who I am…why do I need to change for my soul to be saved?" he said quietly, his fist closing around the rosary, the metal of the crucifix cutting into his palm.

He felt Matt shift next to him, probably trying to figure out what to say to that. He didn't even know if Matt was religious or not, so it might all just sound like nonsense to him. But he didn't need Matt to respond. He'd already made up his mind. "I hate her," he whispered, letting out a sob, tightening his grip on the rosary, his knuckles turning white. He wanted it out of his life. He wanted to break it into a million little pieces and burn them until they were no longer recognizable. "I just…I hate her so fucking much," he gritted out. He was losing it; he was going to do something he would regret if he didn't get a hold of himself.

But Matt's arms were suddenly around him, holding him tight against his chest. Mello tensed immediately, from the unexpected contact, but gradually relaxed, laying his head against Matt's shoulder. He hesitantly loosened his grip on the rosary before releasing it, letting it fall to the hardwood floor below. There was a small clinking sound as the crucifix hit the ground, and then the room was quiet.

His now empty hands made their way around to meet at Matt's back as he relaxed further into Matt's arms. He wasn't quite sure how he'd ended up there; he wasn't one to show his weaknesses freely. Yet there he was, allowing Matt to comfort him, enjoying the feeling of Matt's fingertips gently moving over his back.

He let out a small sigh, feeling much calmer, and pulled back to look at Matt. "You must think I'm so messed up," Mello said with a wry laugh, rubbing the now drying tears from his face.

"Not really," Matt shrugged, "We're all a little messed up in our own ways, right?"

"Heh, yeah, I'll second that." He ran a hand through his hair, embarrassed by everything that had just happened. He hadn't meant to share everything with Matt yet. He'd thought that Matt wouldn't be able to handle all his issues, but he had been wrong, and he felt ashamed of himself for misjudging him. He looked over at Matt who took Mello's hand back up in his own. Matt looked…proud of him? He was wrong, he had to be. He didn't deserve to have Matt be proud of him.

"You know, you're a lot stronger than you think you are," Matt told him and leaned forward to kiss him softly, pulling back slowly to look him in the eyes.

Mello stared at him, amazed. How had he been so fortunate to find his way to Matt? If either of them were the strong one, it was Matt, not him. He admired Matt so much.

Mello leaned in, pressing his lips to Matt's. He pulled back only to return, crushing their lips together, kissing him hungrily. He _wanted_ Matt. He'd been holding himself back since he'd first met him, and he couldn't anymore. He'd just shared the most intimate details of his life with Matt; how was this any different?

He swore he could feel the corners of Matt's lips turn upwards into a smirk before his hands moved down to Mello's hips, pulling him closer as his lips parted, his tongue snaking into Mello's mouth. He pulled back, breaking the kiss, and saw disappointment flash across Matt's face. A small laugh escaped his throat at Matt's expression as he readjusted, moving to straddle Matt's hips.

He pressed himself flush against Matt's torso, his lips working furiously against Matt's, falling into sync just as Matt shifted. Mello felt his hot breath on his jaw as he moved down to his neck. Matt's fingers tangling in the hair at the nape of Mello's neck, tugging lightly at his scalp. Mello tilted his head back, granting Matt better access, letting his eyelids flutter closed, focusing on the wonderful things Matt was doing to his neck.

His breathing picked up, rushing past his lips in little gasps, and he could feel himself start to grow hard, the front of his pants tightening. His hands went down to the hem of Matt's shirt, tugging it upwards. But as he was about to drag it up past Matt's ribs, the redhead suddenly tensed.

"Wait," he breathed against Mello's neck. "Wait," he repeated, panting as he pushed Mello off of his lap, "There's somethin' I need to show you first… I should've just showed you earlier…" His already flushed face seemed to darken into a blush, a deeper shade of red crossing his cheeks. "Uh…" he hesitated and then pulled his shirt up over his head in one fluid motion, letting it drop to the floor.

Mello immediately noticed what it was that Matt wanted to show him and thought back to the way he had touched his chest that morning while talking about Tegan. At first glance, it appeared the same two hearts that were painted on Matt's laptop were imbedded into his skin in the space over his own heart. However, as he looked at it, the two outlined hearts were a bit more evenly shaped than the ones on Matt's computer, still not perfectly symmetrical, but more so. Tegan's name was scrawled under them in a child's handwriting.

"I got it done right before I moved to California," Matt explained. "I gave her a couple highlighters and let her draw them right onto my skin. I told her to sign her name and said her ahrtwork would be on me forever. She was ecstatic," he said with a smile. "I don't think she understood exactly what I'd have to do to get 'em to stay on my skin, and I didn't wanna explain it and then have her worry, so I left it at that.

"I let her see it again when I got back from the tattoo shop, and she kept askin' me why it was so red around it, and I prob'ly had to reassure her that it wasn't gonna stay like that about twenty times before she believed me," he said with a small laugh, but his smile faltered and a sadness filled his eyes.

Mello pulled Matt into a hug, hoping to comfort him much as he had done for Mello. His fingers trailed across Matt's back, feeling their way over the notches in his spine. Matt felt so thin in his arms.

"C'mon," Matt said quietly, pulling away to get up from the couch. He held his hand out for Mello to take and started for the hall when he did, not bothering to put his shirt back on. He led Mello down the short hall, taking a right at the bedroom. He went to sit on the edge of the bed, and Mello followed suit, watching as Matt pulled open the small drawer of the nightstand and pulled out the picture frame Mello knew he had seen in Matt's bedroom when he had first moved in. It seemed ages ago, but in reality, it had only been the day before. "This is Tegan," he said, handing Mello the picture frame.

Mello stared down at the photograph secured in the frame under a sheet of glass. Matt was kneeling with his arm around a young girl who was proudly showing a painting of a house and what Mello presumed to be her family to the camera. Her red hair, a shade or two lighter than Matt's, was braided into pigtails that extended just past her shoulders. Her messy bangs threatened to fall over her bright blue eyes, and a wide grin spread across her face, revealing a missing front tooth, the adult tooth just starting to come in after it. "She's adorable," he told Matt.

"Yeah…" he breathed out, and Mello turned to see him staring down at the photo with that same melancholy look in his eyes. He had no idea what it was like for Matt being away from his sister—he'd never had someone he was that close to—but he hated seeing Matt so sad.

He reached out, gently removing Matt's goggles from atop his head, placing them on the nightstand. Matt looked up from the picture to Mello, a confused expression on his face, but he paid it no attention. He leaned in, his hand cupping the side of Matt's face, and kissed him softly.

Matt was a bit slower to respond this time, placing chase kisses on his lips. He hand blindly searched for the picture frame, finding it where Mello had set it next to him on the bed, and placed it upside down on the nightstand next to his goggles. With it out of the way, Matt kissed Mello more passionately, his tongue finding its way back into Mello's mouth. His hands ran up Mello's sides, taking his shirt with them. Matt broke away from Mello for a second to lift the shirt over the blond's head, letting it fall to the floor.

As soon as they connected again, Mello's hands were at Matt's belt, fumbling in their haste to undo it. He eventually managed to push it out of the way, yanking the zipper on the front of Matt's jeans down and popping the button out of its hole. He struggled to tug them down what with the angle Matt was leaning over him.

Matt reluctantly pulled away, using his now free hands to help Mello. His pants were on the floor next to Mello's shirt in seconds, his Atari boxers the only thing left on his body. He leaned back into Mello, laying him back on the bed, kissing him quickly before tugging at his lower lip with his teeth.

Matt was panting above him, his hands at the front of Mello's pants, quickly undoing them. He yanked Mello's tight fitting skinny jeans down over his hips, exposing his simple black boxer briefs underneath. Mello kicked his pants off over his ankles as Matt leaned down over him again.

He held himself over Mello, bracing himself with one forearm as he began kissing Mello's neck again, moving down to suck on his collar bones, his other hand feeling Mello up through the thin fabric of his boxers before removing those too, returning to his work. Mello could feel his erection growing under Matt's touch, and he immediately thought to how Matt had said that he was good with his hands back when he had explained how he built computers. He most certainly hadn't been wrong. If Matt kept this up, he wasn't going to last very long.

He leaned up, his hand going to the back of Matt's neck, pulling him down to meet his lips, temporarily distracting him. It wasn't that he wasn't enjoying what Matt was doing; he was just ready for things to get a bit more interesting.

Mello wrapped one on his legs around Matt's waist, using it to guide him as he rolled over, switching their positions. "Hey, no fair," Matt said jokingly and tried to do the same thing Mello had, but it didn't work. Mello was stronger than he was and wasn't giving up the position of power.

"What's not fair?" he asked with a smirk, happy that he had won even if he would have liked a bit more of a challenge.

Matt only shook his head in response, his own little self-satisfied smirk appearing on his lips as Mello pulled his boxers off. He didn't understand why until he looked down; Matt was a good couple inches bigger than he was. It wasn't that Mello was small, rather, he considered himself about average; it was just that Matt was a bit better off than he was.

"Problem?" Matt asked playfully, that sly grin still on his face.

"Not at all," he replied, trying to ignore the feeling of inferiority. He didn't care if Matt had a larger dick than he did—that didn't do anything to change the fact that he had won the position of dominance. Besides, he found that Matt lying there, half erect, with that cocky smile on his face to be a major turn on.

He moved forward, using a knee to spread Matt's legs further apart, and pressed two fingers into Matt's entrance. He moved to kneel between Matt's legs, leaning down to slowly run the tip of his tongue up Matt's shaft, teasing him as he worked to spread the tight rings of muscle that were fighting his fingers. He took the head of Matt's cock into his mouth, swirling his tongue around it, and smiled inwardly when he heard Matt's breath hitch.

Mello removed his fingers, forcing a third one back in along with the first two, and felt Matt squirm under him as he took more of Matt's length into his mouth. He bobbed his head down a few times, going as far as he dared without setting his gag reflex off. Tasting precum at the back of his tongue as he started to pull back, he gave one last effort to deep-throat, breathing heavily through his nose, struggling to get enough air. A loud moan escaped Matt's throat, and he bucked upwards, forcing the last inch into Mello's mouth. He felt his throat constrict from the sudden movement, trying to reject the intrusion. He slowly pulled back, managing not to choke. Deeming Matt ready, he removed his fingers.

"D'you…have any lube?" Matt panted out, his breathing ragged, when Mello slipped his fingers out.

"Yeah…" he said almost reluctantly, climbing off the bed and going to kneel on the floor next to the box a lot of his stuff was still in. He rummaged through the box with his clean hand, and even though he was kind of glad Misa had stuck it in with his stuff, he could just imagine how presumptuous it probably looked on his part already having a bottle of lube.

He quickly found it and eagerly returned to the bed, squirting some into the palm of his hand and coating his dick with it. He tossed the bottle aside and kneeled on the bed between Matt's legs, running a still lube covered finger over and just inside the rim when Matt lifted his hips, pulling his legs back to grant Mello better access.

He positioned himself at Matt's entrance and pushed in, feeling Matt constrict around him briefly before he relaxed. Mello thrust in, and Matt's head tilted back, pressing against the mattress as his back arched, his eyelids fluttering closed, moaning softly with Mello's shaft buried to the base inside him.

Mello pushed in and out, slowly at first, gradually picking up speed as he lowered his torso closer to Matt whose legs moved to wrap around Mello's waist, his knees pulled up next to the blond's ribs with his ankles crossed loosely over his lower back. One hand gripped Mello's thigh, the other pressed against his back between his shoulders. Mello leaned down into Matt, kissing along his chest between gasps of air, trying to keep his breathing steady and failing at it.

His slick, lube coated hand snaked down between them to grip Matt's cock, pumping it in rhythm with his thrusting. A warmth was collecting in his lower abdomen; he knew he wouldn't be able to hold out much longer, and he wasn't going to want to finish Matt off after the fact. His hand moved along Matt's shaft in swift motions, his thumb playing with the head as he got him ready.

He thrust in a few more times with as much force as he could, bringing himself to completion, feeling himself release inside of Matt. He stayed there as he pumped Matt, waiting to pull out just as he orgasmed, feeling the warm liquid spread between them. Matt lazily untangled his limbs from Mello, allowing him to collapse on the bed next to him, an arm still around his shoulders, holding Mello to his side.

Mello let out a content sigh, allowing his eyelids to close as his breathing slowed to normal. He knew he should probably get cleaned up; he was a mess—they both were—but he had no motivation to move whatsoever.

But something was off; his hazy brain was forgetting something, and…did it smelled like something was burning? "Oh my God, the pizza," he said, it coming out more of a grumble, conveying none of the urgency it should have.

"Huh? Oh, right," Matt mumbled as Mello forced himself up from the bed. He tried to run out to the kitchen, afraid that Matt's prediction of burning down the building might not be so far from reality, but he was having a hard time making his legs work. They moved sluggishly under him, refusing to carry him there any faster.

The unpleasant, burnt smell became stronger as he entered the kitchen. He went to open the oven, but realizing his hands were still a mess, he moved to rinse them off in the sink, probably making a bigger mess splashing water over the counter in his haste than it was worth. He shook the excess water from his hands, not bothering to dry them, and threw the oven door open, revealing a very burnt looking pizza of charred crust and blackened cheese but thankfully no flames or smoke. He turned the oven off and started looking through drawers for an oven mitt or a hot pad, something he could use to remove it with, but the best he could find was a towel.

"You know, it's prob'ly not very safe to do that naked. Wouldn't wanna burn anythin' important," he heard as he pulled the oven rack out with the towel, setting it on the stove, and looked over to see Matt leaning against the doorframe. He had put his Atari boxers back on, and his hair was disheveled, parts of his bangs stuck to his forehead with sweat. He stood there, lazily smoking a cigarette, his movements languid as he brought it up to his lips, watching as Mello tried to scrape the ruined pizza off the oven rack with a spatula.

"Do you want to help, or are you just gonna stand there?" Mello asked lightly. Not even this was going to ruin the good mood he was in.

"Naw, I think I'm gonna stand here and admire the view," he said, taking a long, slow drag on the cigarette and breathing out through his nose, a coy smile coming to his lips as he quite obviously looked over Mello's naked body.

"Oh, thanks. That's real helpful," Mello returned playfully.

"Why don'tcha just leave that? We can take care of it latter," Matt said, finishing the cigarette and smashing it down in the ashtray on the counter that he'd brought with him to the kitchen. He closed the distance between them, taking the spatula out of Mello's hand and setting it down. His arms snaked around Mello's waist, pulling him close against his body. "Let's go take a shower, get cleaned up, and go out for dinner," he suggested, one of his hands moving down to cup Mello's bare ass, leaning in to kiss him softly. It was certainly a tempting offer.

"Yeah, I think that's an excellent idea," Mello said and took hold of Matt's hand, following him to the bathroom.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Oh dear…now this story has to be rated M. Heh…well, anyway…

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>sad1st1c m1stress, brightnight003, DarkAngelJudas, CatatonicVanity, Evidence Of Rain, Ironicsheep, Midnightkisses10, kiki1070, NessaYume, 494dwangel, XxHeartlessKissxX, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, teB360, Don't Forget Hope, Mahri, samiekins17


	15. Chapter 14: Liberation

Mello: Watered Down by The Used  
>Matt: Fade by Singularity Ft. Steffi Nguyen<p>

**Chapter 14: Liberation**

"I can't believe I haven't taken you to the beach yet!" Misa squealed from the passenger's seat of her and Takada's silver SUV, turning to look back at Mello, a huge grin on her face. "It's gonna be so much fun! I haven't been in _forever_," she went on, and Mello only nodded.

"If we ever get there," he heard Takada grumble from the driver's seat, drumming her fingers impatiently on the steering wheel. "It was supposed to be a fifteen minute drive," she sighed, glaring at the traffic jam that stretched out in front of them.

"Don't be such a grumpy butt, Kiyomi," Misa chided, and Mello was happy to have her attention directed to someone other than him. He didn't pay attention as Misa tried to cheer Takada up; he only glanced over at Matt next to him, giving him an apologetic smile.

Matt rolled his eyes in return, shooting Mello a look that clearly said 'I told you so.'

"I know. I'm sorry," Mello whispered to him, glancing to the front of the car to make sure Misa and Takada weren't paying attention, but Misa was still preoccupied trying to put a smile on Takada's face. She had unbuckled her seatbelt to lean over to the driver's seat, literally forcing the corners of Takada's lips up into a smile with her thumbs.

"It's fine," Matt sighed, but it didn't look like he thought it was fine. Not that they could really do anything about it at this point.

It was supposed to be _their_ beach trip. Just the two of them. Matt had brought it up, asking him if he'd ever seen the ocean, a few days ago while they were out to dinner. He'd been so excited for it, partially because the closest thing he'd ever seen to the ocean were the shallow, murky waters of western Lake Erie, but mostly because it was an opportunity to spend some time with Matt.

He'd felt closer to Matt than he ever had after he'd told him about his family, so when Matt had brought up going to the beach, he'd been under the impression that they would be going on a romantic trip, not a chance to hang out as a group with Misa and Takada. Of course, after the past few days, he would settle for just being able to have a couple hours alone with Matt, romantic trip or not.

Although they both did have to work quite a bit, it seemed to Mello that they should have no problem finding time to spend together around their work schedules. And if it had been up to Mello, it wouldn't have been a problem, but Matt was always working on his music.

It didn't bother him the first couple times he'd suggested they go out and do something only to have Matt decline, saying that he needed to put the finishing touches on a song. Matt spent _hours_ on his music, headphones over is ears, staring at the computer screen, hours that Mello wanted to spend with him. He understood that Matt was pursuing his dream, but all the time he devoted to pursuing his dream left little time for Mello.

Which was why he'd been so excited about their trip. They could spend the entire day together, and maybe it would make up for some of the time Mello felt like he was missing out on. But the second he'd let it slip to Misa that they were going to the beach, she'd invited herself and Takada along.

He could have told her that it was supposed to be just him and Matt, and he was sure that she would have understood, but she'd seemed so excited when he'd told her about going to the beach, and he knew that she felt neglected since he'd moved out a little over a week ago. He just didn't have the heart to tell her that she couldn't come. Unfortunately, that meant he'd had to tell Matt that they would have two extra people tagging along.

It had gone over better than he'd thought it would even if Matt had seemed disappointed. He'd told Mello that he should have never brought it up to Misa but otherwise seemed to take it in stride, almost as if he'd expected something like that to happen in the first place. He'd only sighed and said, "Well, that's gonna make your surprise a bit difficult."

Mello had badgered him about it, trying to get him to say exactly what this surprise was, but Matt had only made the motion of locking his lips and throwing away the key, smirking over at him. Of course, he hadn't given up after that, but no matter how many times he'd brought it up, Matt wouldn't even give him a hint.

Mello reached over and took Matt's hand. "Really, it's fine," Matt repeated. "It doesn't matter. At least they're entertainin'," he said, nodding towards the front of the car where Misa was now practically in Takada's lap, trying to dance with her to the pop song playing on the radio as they sat in the traffic jam.

"Misa, what are you doing?" Takada sighed but otherwise didn't put up much of a fight.

"Dancing," Misa replied happily, pulling Takada's hands from the steering wheel, not giving her any choice but to dance with her.

"Ha, yeah, entertaining. We'll go with that," Mello said with a small laugh.

"See? You just hafta look on the bright side. Besides, I don't care if they come, just as long as I'm with you," Matt said and leaned over to give him a kiss.

• • •

"Or…maybe down here a little ways?" Misa said, running out ahead of the rest of them.

"Misa, I don't care. Just pick a spot," Mello grumbled, picking the cooler up again from where he'd sat it in the sand. He'd somehow gotten stuck carrying it while Matt had the tote bag Misa had packed with snacks and her beach umbrella and Takada had the bags with their towels and sunscreen. Misa, of course, had gone out in search of a spot, leaving everyone else to carry their things.

"Ooh, how about here?" Misa said, pausing to look out at the ocean from the patch of unoccupied sand she'd found on the already crowded beach. She stood there, scanning the area as she waited for the rest of them to catch up, the light wind pulling at her hair and the loose, cropped shirt she was wearing.

"It's fine, Misa, and so were the other four spots we stopped at," Takada said, setting the bags down next to where she was standing.

"Yeah. I think I like it," Misa decided, pulling her towel out of one of the bags and laying it out on the sand.

"Great," Mello said flatly, just glad to finally be rid of the heavy cooler. He set it down and took the large umbrella from Matt, standing it up in the sand to shade the area before pulling his own towel out and sitting down, able to appreciate the view for the first time since they'd arrived.

It was quite simply astounding. The Pacific stretched out endlessly in front of them, blending with the clear blue sky on the horizon. Small waves with little white crests lapped at the shore, turning the sand they touched a darker shade. People dotted the landscape as far as Mello could see, splashing in the water and lying out on the beach. Santa Monica Pier could be seen down the shore a little way, the Ferris wheel of Pacific Park standing out against the sky.

"D'you like your surprise?" Matt leaned over from where he'd laid out his own towel next to Mello's to ask.

Mello looked at him, confused. "Matt, just because I've never seen the ocean before doesn't mean I didn't know that it was here," he said lightly.

Matt shrugged, digging around one of the tote bags and pulling out a bottle of sunblock. "You'll see," he said with a knowing smile and pulled his shirt off over his head, starting to apply the sunblock to his arms.

"But-" he started, about to press Matt for an explanation.

"Kiyomi, we didn't come here to read," Misa said firmly, and Mello turned to see her glaring down at Takada, a pout on her lips and her arms crossed over her chest, already stripped down to her bright pink string bikini.

"Misa, _I_ came here to relax," Takada sighed, slipping her shirt off to reveal a tactful black one-piece underneath.

"We'll see about that," Misa said, snatching Takada's book up from where she'd sat it on the edge of her towel and taking off towards the water.

"Misa!" Takada screeched, jumping up to chase after her. "Don't you dare throw my book in the water!" Mello watched as Misa waded out into the water, stopping when she was in waist deep, holding the book out precariously as if she was going to drop it. Takada stood at the border between the water and the shore, holding her arms out, her palms facing out towards Misa. It appeared as if she were trying to negotiate though he couldn't hear what she was saying.

"I betcha she'll toss it in the water," Matt said, spreading the sunblock over his chest.

"You're on." Mello watched, waiting to see how it would turn out. Misa acted like she was going to let it go, and Takada stepped forward, reaching for it although she was clearly too far away for it to do any good. They stood like that for a moment before Misa slowly started walking back to shore, purposely kicking water up across Takada's legs when she got closer and reluctantly handing the book to her. "Looks like I won," Mello said, glancing over at Matt.

"Hmm. Darn," Matt said flatly.

"So what did I win?"

Matt seemed to think it over for a second before flashing Mello a cheeky grin. "You get the privilege of helpin' me put sunscreen on my back," he said, handing Mello the bottle and scooting over to sit in front of him.

"Really? What an honor," Mello said in mock excitement, squirting some of the white lotion into his palm, and started to spread the sunblock over Matt's freckled shoulders as Misa and Takada walked back up.

"We're going swimming," Takada said, sounding not at all too excited about it as she tucked her book safely down into her bag.

"Anyone interested in joining us?" Misa offered.

"Uh," Matt started and quickly glanced over his shoulder at Mello who shrugged. "Maybe later," he said, turning back to Misa.

"Suit yourself," Misa said, adding "Come on" to Takada, taking hold of her hand and dragging her back towards the water.

Mello finished Matt's back, his hand dipping a bit lower under the waist of his swim trunks than he needed to. "Wouldn't it have been easier for you to have just taken a bath in sunscreen before we left the apartment?" Mello teased, starting on himself though not nearly as thoroughly as Matt had.

"Hey, it's not my fault I burn real easily," Matt said defensively, a yawn escaping near the end.

"What time did you come in to bed last night?" Mello asked. He'd quickly learned not to bother waiting up for him. 'Gimme five minutes to finish up' generally meant that he was going to be a couple more hours working on his music.

"Uh…" he started hesitantly, looking embarrassed, "around two."

Mello only nodded and handed the bottle to Matt, turning around for him to apply sunscreen to his back.

"I, uh… I'm sorry I've been busy a lot lately," Matt apologized, "It's just-"

"I know," Mello interrupted, "You're busy with your music. I get it."

"Mels…I'm sorry we haven't gotten to spend a lot of time together, but we got today, right?" he said, tossing the bottle of sunblock aside and leaning his chin on Mello's shoulder, wrapping his arms around his waist.

"Yeah," Mello sighed out, not at all convincingly.

"Mello," Matt said, leaning back and pulling on his shoulder, trying to get the blond to turn around. "Mello, look at me." He reluctantly turned to face Matt. "I'm sorry," he said again, taking Mello's hand. "It's just that I'm really behind on what I need to get done, and I'm tryin' to catch up."

"Catch up for what?" Mello asked, and although it looked like Matt wanted to answer, he didn't give him a chance to. "Why do you need to get all this done right away? I mean, I know your music is important to you, but it would be nice if I actually got to talk to you occasionally."

"I know…It's just I'm tryin' to put an album together in time for this big rave thing that's comin' up in about a month, and I'm way behind schedule, and I _need_ it to be done because I've never sold any of my music before, and an event like that would be _perfect_ for my first release," Matt explained, it all coming out in a rush, but Mello only really got one thing out of what Matt had said.

"You're putting together an album?" he asked, shocked. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I dunno… I just figured if I toldya, you'd wanna hear what I had, and no one's really ever listened to my music before," he said, refusing to look up at Mello, picking at the edge of the towel they were sitting on instead.

"But…I thought you've played some of your music at raves before," Mello said, confused.

"I've played _remixes_ I've done, and I've remixed things live, but I've never played any of my original music. There's a difference," Matt sighed, shaking his head. "I can't explain it. It's just…different."

"So?" Mello said, it coming out a bit harsher than he'd intended. Matt finally looked up at him, disbelief written across his face. "That's not what I mean," he recanted quickly. "I mean, if this is what you want to do, then so what if it's different? I thought you said before that you wanted to produce your own music, so isn't this exactly what you want?"

"Yeah…which is why it needs to be _perfect_," Matt said, his eyes pleading with Mello to understand. "Imagine if you wrote somethin' that you were gonna try to get published…"

"Wait, who said anything about me writing?" Mello demanded, suddenly defensive. He didn't know where Matt had gotten the idea, but it was absolutely ridiculous.

"Well, you, uh, said before that you didn't know whatcha wanted to do, and you said you liked your English classes in high school, so…" Matt said, looking embarrassed, but Mello was thoroughly impressed. He hadn't expected Matt to remember that, not since they'd talked about it while they had been on the Ferris wheel at the carnival; Matt had been more than a little preoccupied at the time.

"It doesn't matter," Mello shrugged, "I can't _really_ write that well. A few essays in high school don't count for anything."

"What ahre you talkin' about? Your writin' is really good," Matt said, offering him an encouraging smile, but it faded as he realized what he'd just said. "Uh, remember when you said I could read some of the stuff you wrote?" he said, and Mello could feel his cheeks start to burn. "Well, uh, when I came in to bed, you were already asleep anyway, so I, uh, decided to read some of it."

"Oh God…" Mello mumbled, looking away from Matt, shaking his head. He'd honestly hoped Matt would have just forgotten about that. It was more than embarrassing to know that Matt had read his writing.

"No, really, it was good."

"You can cut the crap, Matt. You don't have to lie to me. I can handle it. Now, what did you _really_ think?"

"I'm not lyin'," Matt insisted. "I liked it. Especially those short stories you did."

"What short st-" he started, looking back up at Matt, but then his heart sank, remembering that his failed attempts from the creative writing class he'd taken in high school were in the folder he'd transferred over to his new computer. "Oh…right…"

"I dunno why you're bein' so hahrd on yourself. It's really good. Have you ever thought of maybe doin' somethin' with it?" Matt asked him.

"You've gotta be kidding me. Even if it was any good—which I'm not saying it is—do you have any idea how hard it is to get something published?"

"I guess I don't really know, but I'm thinkin' it's about as hahrd as it is to get signed to a record label," Matt said, a small smile coming to his lips.

"And are you signed to a record label? Because last time I checked, you didn't even want to let _me_ hear your music," he replied snidely.

"Ha, yeah well, that's not stoppin' me. I don't need a record label. A lot of people release their first album independently."

"Right, but you do realize that if you release an album—independently or not—people will hear your music?"

"Yeah, I do. But d'you realize you have nothin' to lose from actually tryin'?" Matt looked at him, a serious expression on his face. "I'm not sayin' you hafta make anythin' of it, but it's like you don't even wanna try, and if it's somethin' you like doin', I'd say it's worth a shot."

"But I…"

"But what? Here, how about this," Matt tried, his tone encouraging, "What if you and Near were both tryin' to write a novel or somethin'? You said everythin' was always a competition between you two, right? If he was tryin' to publish somethin', you would do everythin' you could to get published first. Why d'you need someone else to motivate you? Why can't you just do somethin' for yourself?"

"Because I can't just throw everything I've worked for away," he shot back.

"But if you're passionate about somethin', and you don't follow your dream, isn't that kinda just throwin' it away?" Matt ventured hesitantly, but that was one step too far.

"You have no idea what I want," he spat out, yanking his hand away from Matt's. Who was Matt to tell him what he could or couldn't do, anyway? Matt had no idea how hard it had been for him working to achieve what he had. "I got a scholarship so I could go to college so I can get a good paying, stable job, not so I can live day to day, trying to make ends meet. I've already done that," he gritted out and moved to get up, but Matt caught his wrist as he did so.

"Wait! I'm sorry. I didn't mean anythin' by it," Matt pleaded, "I just want you to do what makes you happy, not what you think you hafta do."

"Yeah, well maybe I know what that is a little better than you do," he said, pulling out of Matt's grasp. "I'm gonna go look for Misa and Takada," he grumbled and started down the beach, slowly picking up speed as his feet carried him across the damp sand until he was running away from Matt, towards the pier.

• • •

Mello slowly crossed the beach, heading back to where their stuff was set up. He was embarrassed by how he'd handled things, but even so, it was probably better that he'd had some time to think things over alone, to just clear his head and calm down.

He knew it wasn't Matt's fault. There was no way Matt could have known how deeply his words would affect Mello. He had just been trying to help, after all.

He saw Misa's large beach umbrella up ahead and subconsciously slowed down. He had no idea how long he'd been gone for, but with where the sun was in the sky, beating down overhead, he had to assume it to be about noon.

He hesitated as Matt came into view. He was sitting under the umbrella on his bright blue beach towel, an open can of Coke stuck in the sand next to him. He stared out at the ocean waves, taking a tortilla chip out of the bag sitting next to him every now and then and dipping it into the large jar of salsa.

When he saw Mello approaching, he jumped up, tipping the can of Coke over in the sand. He bent down quickly, righting the can before any more of the soda could pour out of it, and stood back up. He took a step towards Mello and stopped, clearly unsure of what he should do.

Mello didn't say anything as he closed the distance between them; he only hurried to reach Matt, wrapping his arms around him and pulling him close to his chest. "I'm sorry," Mello breathed out, his chin resting on Matt's shoulder.

"Mels, I-" Matt started, pulling back to look him in the eyes, but Mello didn't want to hear him apologize when it wasn't his fault. He leaned in to kiss him quickly.

"Aw, how cute," he heard Takada say flatly and turned to see her lying on her side, her head resting on her hand as she moved to flip the page of her book.

"Uh, where'd Misa go?" he asked, wishing that wherever she had gone, she would have taken Takada with her.

"She's busy," Takada grumbled, and Mello watched as her eyes flicked up from the page of her book. He followed her gaze and found Misa flirting with some guy a little way down the beach.

"Well, why don't you go get her and tell her you want to go swimming again?" Mello suggested, wanting her to leave so he could talk to Matt alone.

"I don't _want_ to go swimming," Takada said, turning to shoot him an angry look before going back to glaring at Misa and whomever she was talking to over her book.

"Come on, Takada. Do me a favor. Just give me and Matt a second."

"And why would I want to do you a favor?"

"Fine," he said, and knowing that his original plan wasn't going anywhere, he decided to take a shot in the dark in the hope that his suspicion might actually be correct. "Why don't you do _yourself_ a favor and do something to pull Misa away from that guy?"

She glanced over at him, her eyes wide, and quickly looked back down at her book. "Alright, fine," she said, sounding much angrier about it that he figured she really was, "but you owe me."

"Of course," he said, just glad that she was leaving. She seemed to take her time as she placed the book upside down to hold her spot and got up, brushing the sand from herself before she started towards Misa.

"I'm sorry I overreacted," Mello said the second he felt Takada was out of earshot. "I just…" he tried but didn't know how to say it. Matt shook his head and took Mello's hand, pulling him down to sit next to him under the umbrella.

"It's okay," he said, putting his arm around Mello's shoulders. "I wasn't tryin' to make you do somethin' you don't want to."

"I know… And it's not that I don't like writing," he admitted, remembering how much he'd enjoyed that creative writing class he'd taken. "It's just…even if I was anywhere close to good enough, what are the odds that I could actually get published and make a living out of it? I can't take that risk."

"But…" Matt started cautiously but didn't get the chance to finish.

"Mattie, you've never been poor. You don't get it," he said softly. "It's easy for you to pursue your music. You have everything figured out, and if worse comes to worse…"

"You're right. I have no idea what it was like for you to grow up not havin' any money," he said, pulling Mello closer, "but it's _not_ easy for me pursuin' my music. I get that I prob'ly won't make it, but that doesn't mean that I'm not gonna try. I have a backup plan—I'm goin' to school for computer programmin' in case it doesn't work out or whatever. I've thought this through. And if worse comes to worse, I'd _never_ ask my parents for money," he finished firmly, countering what Mello had been alluding to.

Mello nodded, leaning his head down on Matt's shoulder. He believed him when he said that. Maybe Matt didn't have it so easy when it came to his music; the way he'd been slaving over it was certainly a testament to that. He had all the same fears when it came to pursuing a career in the music world as Mello had about the idea of trying to make a living out of his writing. "I'll think about it," he told Matt.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Don't sound so surprised," he said with a laugh. "You have _so_ little faith in me," he said, feigning offense.

Matt leaned down to kiss the top of his head. "The exact opposite."

"I don't know _why_ you guys couldn't have lunch without me," Misa grumbled, drawing Mello's attention away from Matt. She came to sit down next to him, her arms crossed over her chest, Takada close behind her.

"It was your idea to have a picnic," Takada reminded her, kneeling down next to the cooler, and started pulling stuff out.

"Yeah," she sighed, "but couldn't it have waited? Didn't you see me talking to that _really_ hot guy over there?"

"Mello insisted," was all Takada said, but when Misa turned away from her, she mouthed the words 'You owe me' to him.

"Uh, right. Yeah, I did," he said, deciding it was only fair for him to take the fall; he had kind of insisted, after all, even if it wasn't exactly how Takada had said.

"Just because you and Mattie are back to being all happy with each other doesn't mean you can interfere with me hooking up with some really hot guy on the beach," she said angrily, adding in "Bad Mel-Mel!" and flicking him on the nose.

"Misa, I-"

"No. I'm mad at you," she pouted and poked him in the ribs. He tried to jump away, but with Matt in the way, he didn't get very far.

"Misa…no," he warned when he found a devious smirk coming over her face, but she lunged at him, and he was suddenly on his back, Misa's manicured nails furiously working to tickle him. "Matt!" he managed between involuntary fits of laughter, "Help me!"

"C'mon, Misa. That's enough," he heard Matt say to his right, and to his surprise Misa actually stopped.

"Thank you," he spat out, trying to sit up, but Matt was suddenly on top of him, fingers tickling his sides.

"Mello! You're kicking sand everywhere!" Takada screeched, and it crossed his mind that they were probably making quite a scene between his hysteric laughter and the way Matt was literally sitting on him, straddling his hips, holding him down. He tried to push Matt's hands away but was hardly successful, only forcing Matt to readjust slightly.

But after a minute, Matt's hands stopped moving and went to the spaces on either side of Mello to hold himself up as he leaned down to kiss him. "I win," he said, a self-satisfied smirk on his face.

"Too back it doesn't count for anything this time," Mello said and pushed Matt off of him. "I hate you," he added flatly, sitting up and trying to brush some of the sand out of his hair with his fingers.

"No you don't," Matt sighed and put his arm around Mello's waist, leaning over to kiss his cheek.

"Fine," Mello grumbled and turned to kiss Matt softly, "I don't."

"Ugh, get a room," Takada groaned as she finished laying out the food she'd packed in the cooler.

"You're just jealous," Misa said, already helping herself, piling food onto her paper plate, "I think it's cute."

"Right. Jealous," Takada said flatly, though Mello swore he could see her start to blush lightly.

• • •

"One pistachio and one chocolate," Matt said to the girl working the ice cream stand.

"Pistachio?" Mello scoffed, "You have all these wonderful flavors to choose from, and you go with pistachio?"

"Says the guy who likes pineapple on his pizza," Matt said, giving the girl the money they owed and taking the two ice cream cones from her. He handed the chocolate one to Mello, and they started back towards their spot on the beach.

"You're never gonna get over that, are you?"

"Nope, prob'ly not," Matt said, grinning over at Mello.

"Hey, did you notice the way Takada was acting today?" he asked, glad to finally be able to bring it up now that she and Misa had gone to check out Pacific Park.

"No, why? What'd she do?" Matt said, looking over at him in surprise.

"Uh, never mind. It's probably nothing." He shouldn't have expected Matt to have noticed; he was hardly the most observant person. Besides, his theory was probably wrong anyway.

"Whadya mean? What happened with Takada?" he asked, clearly curious now that Mello had brought it up.

"Well…I think she might have a thing for Misa," he said, settling back down under the umbrella, although it wasn't doing much good anymore. The sun was low in the sky, the bottom edge of it sinking just below the horizon, making the water shimmer.

"You're jokin', right?" Matt said, sitting down next to him, his free arm going around Mello's shoulders as he gently leaned back against Matt's chest. He took a bite of his ice cream and held the cone out to Mello who licked it and made a face, going back to his own ice cream. "C'mon, it's not that bad," he said, "And don't I get to try yours?"

"Why waste it on you? You clearly don't know what good ice cream tastes like," Mello said jokingly, giving Matt a playful little smile. "Fine," he sighed when Matt opened his mouth expectantly. He held the ice cream out for him and let him taste it.

"But what did'ya mean about Takada and Misa?" he tried again, licking the chocolate ice cream off his lips.

"Just the way Takada was acting… It made me think she might like Misa or something," he shrugged.

"Naw, I doubt it," Matt said shaking his head.

"Yeah, you're probably right." And the more Mello thought about it, the more he doubted it too. Besides, there were plenty of other explanations for the way Takada had been acting. He was probably just reading too much into it.

"Why d'you care anyway?" Matt asked, looking over at him curiously, but as he did so, the melting ice cream dripped down onto his knuckles. He turned his hand to try to lick it off, but the rest of the scoop of ice cream slid off the cone and onto his knee. "Shit," he mumbled, staring at it as it continued to melt, dripping down the side of his knee.

"It's not that I care, really. That's just what came to mind, and I thought it was weird is all," he said, watching as Matt tried to scoop the ice cream back onto his cone with little success. "Do you need help?"

"Naw, I got this," he said determinedly, but all he was managing to do was make a bigger mess, smearing it down his leg, the remainder of it falling into the sand.

"Just go wash it off," Mello said, "You can have some of mine."

"I thought I wasn't _worthy_ of your ice cream," Matt said, getting up, and took a bite of the cone, holding his hand out to pull Mello up.

"You're not," Mello smirked, getting to his feet and offering the cone to Matt, "but I can make an exception."

"Oh, I'm _so_ grateful," Matt said, rolling his eyes, but accepted Mello's offer nonetheless before wading out into the ocean. Mello sat down at the edge of the water, watching Matt wash the melted ice cream from himself, the sunlight reflecting up around him. He moved to get up as Matt came back to shore, but Matt shook his head. "Stay here," he told him.

Mello turned to see Matt walk back up the beach and kneeled next to one of the bags they had brought there with them. He rummaged around in it for a moment before starting back towards Mello, something clasped in his hand. Mello finished his ice cream cone and stood up, watching Matt with interest.

"Are you ready?" Matt asked, a small smile on his lips.

"Ready for what?"

"Your surprise," Matt responded simply, and Mello's eyes widened. He'd completely forgotten about it. He nodded eagerly, and Matt raised his hand out in front of him but didn't open his fist. "It's fine if you don't want to, but, uh…" Matt said, sounding nervous. He opened his hand, and Mello instantly tensed.

"Why do you have that?" Mello demanded, staring down at the object in Matt's hand. His rosary was coiled, sitting in the center of Matt's palm. He hadn't put it back on since he'd told Matt about his family and how he'd gotten it, but as far as he'd been aware, it was still sitting on the top of the dresser in Matt's room where he'd left it.

"Well, uh, it seemed like there ahre a lot of bad memories attached to it for you," Matt started, looking down at the rosary rather than at Mello, "and every time you walk past it, you do this thing. You sort of stop and glare at it, and then keep walkin' but glance back like…" He paused, thinking about it, and then looked up from his hand to Mello. "…like you were hopin' it would've disappeared or somethin'."

He could only stare at Matt for a moment, trying to process what he'd just said. "So why is it _here_?" he asked, his voice harsh. He didn't want it there at the beach with them. He didn't want it anywhere near him. Not anymore.

"Um, well… This is why I thought we could go to the beach," Matt admitted, glancing up at Mello apprehensively. "I thought maybe if you got rid of it…"

"So… What? You want me to throw it out into the ocean?" he demanded. It seemed ridiculous to him. What would that accomplish? If he'd wanted to get rid of it, he could have just thrown it away.

"Only if you want to," Matt said, looking at him solemnly.

He stood there, fists clenched at his sides, staring at the little metal crucifix poking out of the pile of beads, unable to move. He'd wanted it out of his life for so long, but after all this time, how could he actually get rid of it? He hated it and everything it represented for him. It was his reminder, his connection to his past so that he could never forget. It chained him to his reality.

But it wasn't really his reality anymore. He'd taken his life into his own hands and escaped that fate. He was better than that. It was a testament of how far he'd come and to how far he still had to go. But he didn't need it anymore. That metal cross and those wooden beads he used to hide under his shirt everyday weren't a part him anymore.

He reached his hand out, taking the rosary from its resting place in Matt's palm determinedly, and turned towards the horizon. He slowly stepped out into the water, his feet shuffling through the sand below, until he was in knee deep, and without a second thought, he wound his arm back and threw it as hard as he could. One second, it was flying through the air; the next, it disappeared below the surface of the water.

Mello watched the spot where it had disappeared, and it took a second for it to sink in that it was gone. It seemed so anticlimactic; he'd expected it to be a bit more dramatic than it had been, but the only real difference was that it had been in his hand, and now it was buried under water. It was a relief to know that he would never have to look at it again, but it was hardly the weight off his shoulders he thought it would have been. If anything, it made him feel weak; he may not have wanted to live with it, but he wasn't sure he knew how to live without it anymore either.

Matt's hand was suddenly on his shoulder, and Mello turned to see him staring out at the same spot on the water he had been watching. He stepped over, splashing the water up slightly as he did so, and wrapped his arms around Matt. "Thank you," he whispered, and he felt Matt nod against his shoulder.

He was so grateful to Matt for everything he'd helped him accomplish, all the progress he'd made because of him. He was so much stronger because of Matt.

• • •

"How the hell did you manage to get sunburned with all that sunblock you put on?" Mello asked, dabbing lotion across Matt's bright red shoulders.

Matt winced from the contact with his damaged skin. "I toldya. I burn easy," he said, flicking the ashes of his cigarette into the ashtray on the small table sitting next to the couch and bringing it back up to his lips. "Besides, we were out swimmin' for a while, and then Misa talked us into playin' volleyball with those guys she met. Plenty of time for _this_ to happen," he added, gesturing to his shoulders.

"Alright, you're all done," Mello proclaimed, "Turn around. Me next." He handed the bottle of lotion to Matt and turned his back to him.

"So jealous," Matt mumbled, seeing Mello's back. Although he too had gotten a sunburn, it wasn't nearly as severe as Matt's. Of course, neither of them were as bad off as Misa who hadn't put any sunscreen on in favor of tanning and now looked roughly about the same shade as a freshly cooked lobster.

"You know, despite everything," Mello said, trying to ignore his sore back and shoulders, "I had a really good time today."

"Yeah," Matt agreed, "Too bad it means I'm gonna be in severe pain for a days."

"I can think of something that would take your mind off of it." Mello glanced over his shoulder to give Matt a suggestive little smirk.

"Mello, it hurts just to sit here," Matt said flatly, a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"It's not like you have to do anything," Mello said and let out a disgruntled sigh. He couldn't believe Matt was turning down sex just because of a sunburn.

"But…I _won_ today," Matt said, and Mello could hear the pout in his voice.

"I told you that didn't count for anything," he said, turning to give Matt a smug look.

"Yeah…" he sighed, putting the cigarette out and moving closer to Mello. "Alright. Fine."

"That's more like it," Mello smirked and gently pulled Matt towards him.

• • •

The bright crescent moon shown down over the waters of the Santa Monica Pier, illuminating the beach in a low glow. The saltwater lapped at the shore as the tide slowly receded, leaving behind a small metal object in its wake. The silver crucifix glistened against the dull expanse of the beach, reflecting the pale moonlight, the long chain of beads partially buried in the sand.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Okay, wow, sorry this is like half a week late. I've had it back from my beta for ages now, and I just haven't gotten the chance to edit it. I'd like to say that the next chapter will be on time and all, but I kinda really doubt that with how the rest of my week is looking.

Anyway, I was wondering how you guys like the calmer side of electronic music (that is, if you've listened to Matt's songs for this and the last chapter.) I wasn't a huge fan to begin with, but it's definitely grown on me. No worries if you don't care for it though. The song I have lined up for the next chapter is a little bit more up-tempo.

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>Midnightkisses10, Evidence Of Rain, Mahri, brightnight003, kiki1070, NessaYume, 494dwangel, kay-kw33n, teB360, CatatonicVanity, samiekins17, DarkAngelJudas, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, XxXShikiandRimaXxX, Beloved Little Bit, Sadique13, 8, Mustached Kira


	16. Chapter 15: Erosion

Mello: Degausser by Brand New  
>Matt: Flamewar by Tristam &amp; Rogue<p>

**Chapter 15: Erosion**

Mello stepped out of the shower, taking mental note of the soap scum that lined the bottom of it as he dried himself off. He'd have to remember to clean it later when he got back from work because he knew Matt sure as hell wouldn't be doing it. Within the first few days of living with the redhead, he'd quickly learned that if he wanted something done, he had to do it himself.

Not that the idea in and of itself really bothered him—he was used to having to do things himself, after all. He'd done most of the housework when he'd lived with his mother because he'd long since given up on her ever really caring. She had been a lost cause; Matt, however, wasn't.

Maybe Matt had noticed that if he didn't clean, Mello would eventually get fed up with the mess and do it for him. Or maybe he didn't notice it at all. Matt had mentioned how messy his apartment was before Mello had moved in and had cleaned it up specifically because of the move, so maybe that's the way it was normally. Maybe he liked it that way. Either way, Mello didn't think he'd seen Matt clean once since he'd moved in.

It was fine at first, and the change was gradual, the apartment slowly descending into disarray over the past two weeks, but he was starting to get irritated, not only with the mess, but with Matt's laziness or apathy or whatever it happened to be. He didn't understand why Matt couldn't at least _help_ keep his own goddamn apartment looking halfway decent.

He didn't know why Matt couldn't just put something away when he was done with it rather than leaving it out, or for that matter, why he couldn't just rinse his plate off and put it in the dishwasher rather than leaving it in the sink. And the couple times Mello bothered to say something about it, Matt's response was always "I'll get to it later." Yeah right. Like that would ever happen.

When he'd first set foot in the apartment, and Matt had explained how _clean _it was, he couldn't believe it. There was no way it could be considered _clean _what with how much stuff there was in the small space; now, of course, he understood. When he'd moved in, it had certainly been cluttered, but at least things were somewhat tidy rather than just lying out everywhere like they were now. He'd never thought 'clean' to be a relative term; now, he knew better.

Mello quickly got dressed and dried his hair, tying it back into a ponytail for work, and rushed out of the bathroom, pushing it from his mind. No need to fixate on it at the moment; he was running late as it was and still needed to grab something to eat before he left.

He stepped over the squeaky floorboard at the end of the hall, not wanting to wake Matt, and hurried through the living room towards the kitchen. Or at least, he tried to. He had to stop halfway there, doing a double take when he saw Matt.

He'd expected Matt to have been asleep on the couch. He'd found him like that once a few days before, having tried to stay up late to work on his music. The two laptops had been open on the piano bench, chords running between them and to the music equipment laid out around him, his headphones still covering his ears. So when Mello had woken up that morning and Matt wasn't in bed next to him, he'd figured he would discover him out in the living room as he had before.

And while he had been right to assume that Matt would be on the couch with such a set up around him, Mello was surprised to find him very much awake, a large cup of coffee in hand and a cigarette between his lips. Matt stared intently at one of the computer screens, moving forward suddenly to tweak something on the board Mello remembered him saying was some sort of synthesizer…or a sampler. Or a sequencer, maybe? He'd definitely heard Matt use the word sequencer to refer to…_something_.

Matt had been more than happy to try to explain when Mello had asked why he needed all this stuff, but most of it had gone over the blond's head. He'd tried to pay attention to Matt's explanation turned rant, but it had been hard to keep up with Matt's rambling when he kept using what Mello had ridden off as technical terms. Besides, how did Matt expect him to keep things straight in his head when everything seemed to start with an 's.' Synthesizer, sequencer, sampler—it was all just gibberish to Mello.

"Matt," he said, trying to get the redhead's attention as he poked at some controls on the whatever-it-was. "Matt!" he tried, a bit louder this time, but Matt didn't seem to notice. Apparently it was time to move on to a different approach.

He moved to stand behind the computer Matt was staring at, stepping over a pile of video game cases that had been left out to get to it, and used a similar technique to the one he'd learned was very affective in getting Matt's attention when he was playing video games. But rather than trying to weave his way around all of the cords and equipment to stand in front of the computer as he did with the TV, he simply leaned down and stuck his hands over the screen.

Matt jumped slightly in his seat, clearly not having expected the interruption, and looked up at Mello, pulling his headphones down around his neck. "What on earth ahre you doin'?"

"Adjusting my old technique."

"What?" Matt said, confused, clearly not making the connection between this and how the only way to get his attention while he was playing video games was to stand in front of the TV.

"Never mind. _I'm_ getting ready to leave for work," Mello said, looking at Matt with concern. "What are _you_ doing? Please don't tell me stayed up all night." But he didn't really need an answer. Matt's bloodshot eyes, the dark circles under them much more prominent than usual, told him everything he needed to know.

"Heh, well…" Matt said, looking away from Mello with embarrassment, bringing the cigarette up to his lips and inhaling slowly, stalling.

"Matt, you really should get some sleep _sometime_," he sighed. He hated seeing him like that, so worn down. Had it not been for the caffeine in his coffee, he doubted Matt would even be able to sit up.

"It's not like I have to work today," Matt yawned out. "It's fine."

"No, it's not fine," Mello said firmly. He was tired of seeing Matt continually run himself down to the point of exhaustion, acting as if it wasn't a big deal. It wasn't exactly an uncommon thing. Matt was _always _working on his music, or more accurately, he was always working on his music while he should have been sleeping.

During the day, he went to work, came home, and sat down to play video games, an activity Mello found to be a complete and utter waste of time. "Only for an hour," Matt would say, and then four hours later when the sun started to go down, it was like he suddenly remembered he had more important things to be doing. Unfortunately, one of those things very rarely included Mello.

He tried to be understanding, knowing that Matt was worried about putting together his first album, and he tried to be supportive, but it was hard when Matt was giving him so little to work with. After all, if he could waste time on video games, surely he could spare an hour or two on Mello. But it had gotten to the point where it wasn't even that he didn't get to spend much time with Matt—because he refused to count sitting next to him, reading a book as Matt played video games or worked on his music as spending time with him—it was like watching Matt slowly self-destruct.

He'd thought that after they'd gone to the beach and Matt had explained why he was being so obsessed with his music, that maybe they'd be able to find some sort of balance. It had reassured him that moving in with Matt hadn't been a mistake despite the doubts worming their way into his brain. They'd only been living together for a week at that point, and they were still working on figuring things out; doubts were natural. And after the beach trip, he had been certain that things would get better, but the only difference was that their sunburns had faded, Mello's turning to a light tan, while Matt's was starting to return to his usual pale.

Nothing had really changed. Matt was as engrossed in his music as ever, and it made it difficult just to have a conversation with him. Mello felt as if he'd hardly even seen him over the past two weeks since he'd moved in, and what was the point of living together if they didn't even spend time with each other? He told himself that it didn't matter; Matt was only preoccupied because of the approaching deadline he'd set for his album. After it was done, things would go back to normal.

Yet he wasn't quite sure what normal was for them. Hadn't Matt been like this ever since Mello had met him? He remembered going over to Matt's apartment when he hadn't heard from him after their date at the carnival. Matt had been much in the same state as he was in now, working himself to the point of exhaustion. And then when he'd found him just getting home from a DJing gig as Mello was leaving for work in the morning, it was the same thing. He'd seen what Matt's work did to him before they'd moved in together, so it shouldn't have come as a surprise, but that didn't change the fact that it had. It was different when he was living with Matt, seeing it up close.

Living with Matt had changed their relationship, and sometimes, he wasn't sure that it was for the better. While he had become much closer to Matt since moving in, it only made it harder to overlook his destructive habits and keep his mouth shut about it. When he'd first moved in, he'd told himself that it wasn't his place, that he hadn't known Matt well enough to butt into his life like that. But now… Now he saw Matt sitting there, and it killed him to not say anything.

"Whadya mean 'it's not fine'?" Matt asked, and although his tone was sharp, it came out almost as a sigh, like it was too much work to put forth the effort.

Mello looked at him with worry. He didn't want to fight with Matt, certainly not now when he was probably already going to be late for work as it was. "Just get some sleep, okay?" he pleaded.

"Right. Sleep," Matt scoffed, letting out a little snort of amusement as if the entire concept was ludicrous as he took a sip of his coffee, setting the cup down on the table next to the couch. "When I'm done with this," he nodded towards the computer screen and stuck the cigarette back between his lips, his hands moving to place his headphones over his ears again.

"I just wish you could see what you're doing to yourself," Mello mumbled, turning away, heading for the kitchen. He'd thought for sure that Matt wouldn't have been able to hear him with his headphones already being adjusted over his ears. His words were more for himself than for Matt, but they must have reached him nonetheless.

"Are you tryin' to stahrt a fight or somethin'?" Matt snapped at him, and he turned back to see Matt glaring at him, the headphones back down around his neck. "Stop tryin' to help or whatever it is you're tryin' to do. I've been doin' this since way before I even met you. I know what I'm doin'."

"Do you?" Mello demanded, his voice suddenly harsh. He was tired of Matt acting like it wasn't a big deal, and he was tired of keeping quiet about his concerns. He was done making excuses. "You know, I think it's great that you're doing your music thing and all, but it's like you can't see anything else. You're just so fucking _blind_ to everything you don't want to see. Maybe if you worked on your music when you came home instead of wasting your time on video games, you could actually come to bed at a decent hour."

"Aww, is Mel-Mel feelin' neglected?" Matt asked sarcastically, openly mocking him.

"This has nothing to do with me!" he shouted, and he watched as Matt's eyes widened, clearly taken aback by his outburst, but now that he'd started, he didn't think he knew how to stop. "You don't get it, do you? Are you really that fucking stupid?"

"Hey!" Matt barked out, trying to stand up and yanking on the cord of his headphones in the process. He pulled them over his head and threw them down to the couch angrily. "I dunno why you're so fuckin' pissed off, but you have no right-"

"I'm pissed off because you refuse to see that you're killing yourself!"

"Oh, okay, I get it," Matt sneered, purposely taking a long drag on his cigarette and letting it out slowly. "What, you suddenly have a problem with me smokin'? Because—and this may come as a surprise to you," he mocked, saying it as if talking to a small child, "but I actually _like_ smokin'. I don't _want_ to quit."

Mello could only stare. He was furious with Matt, but those words altered his anger, added in a completely different notion, and twisted it into something else. He couldn't quite place it. It was almost as if he couldn't be mad at Matt after that, which was ridiculous considering just how infuriated he was. But still… He shook his head slowly, looking away from Matt when he realized what it was.

He felt sorry for Matt, and he hated it. It was like admitting that Matt was a lost cause.

"What? Don't have anythin' to say to that? Make up your goddamn mind, Mello. Either you wanna talk about somethin' or you don't. Don't change your mind just 'cause you don't like my answer," Matt grumbled, sitting back down on the couch. He put his cigarette, now only a short stub, out in the ashtray and immediately reached for the pack sitting on the cushion next to him.

There was absolutely nothing _sudden_ about it. It was a slow, building process, gradually eroding away at him until it had finally broken through to the surface. "I don't _suddenly_ have a problem with it," Mello said, his voice dangerously quietly, watching as Matt placed a cigarette between his lips and lit it.

"Then I dunno why you're bringin' it up now, and I dunno what exactly you're tryin' to get outta talkin' about it, 'cause it's not like it's gonna change anything," Matt said, with a shrug, running a hand through his hair, "but please…I just wanna finish this." He gestured to the computer sitting in front of him, glancing up at Mello with tired eyes. He looked exhausted.

"I'm bringing it up now because I can't stand to see you like this anymore. You are so _dependent_ on smoking, and I hate it," he gritted out, trying to stay calm.

"So? Why does it even fuckin' matter to you so much?" he asked, his voice sounding tired, almost weak like he'd decided that putting forth the effort of fighting about it just wasn't worth it.

"Because for some reason, I care about you, Matt," he practically yelled, it coming out much harsher than he had intended, losing what little composure he had regained, "and I don't want to see you hurt yourself anymore. I've already had to watch an addiction ruin one life."

Matt stared up at him, pausing with the cigarette halfway to his lips. "I-I'm sorry…I didn't realize…" he said, slowly lowering his hand, understanding the meaning behind Mello's words.

"Of course you didn't! And that makes it all better, right?"

"No…but-"

"But what, Matt? I get it. You're _sorry_. That doesn't change anything!"

"Mels, you didn't tell me. How was I supposed to know?" he said, his eyes pleading with Mello.

"How could I tell you? Did you not see how hard it was for me to talk about my old life? What was I supposed to say? Oh, and by the way, every time I see you smoke, it reminds me of how dependent my mother was on alcohol, how she _needed_ it to get through the day. And how her addiction kept her from noticing small things like, oh I dunno, that she needed to pick me up after school instead of making her seven year old son wait three hours for her to sober up enough to remember. Or my birthday. How fucking hard is it to remember one fucking day of the year?" he yelled out, "How would've that went over, Matt? How would've saying any of that changed anything?" His throat felt raw as he said those words, having to force them out.

"I'm sorry." Matt lowered his eyes, looking down at the half-finished cigarette between his fingers, a thin trail of smoke rising in the air. He brought it over to the ashtray as if to flick the ashes collecting on the end of it off, but instead, he only left it there for a moment, hesitating, before he turned it downward and smashed it amongst the cigarette butts. "I'm so sorry," he repeated, turning back towards Mello.

"That's great, Matt. You're sorry," he said flatly. "Just like I'm sure you're sorry that you never do anything to clean the apartment and leave all the work for me, and I'm sure you're sorry that we never _actually _get to spend any time together. You don't even notice how much I worry about you when all you do is sit there, staring at those screens, smoking all day, or when you don't get any sleep and don't eat or drink anything but coffee and energy drinks just to stay awake. Hey, no big deal. Because you're _sorry_."

He wanted to leave; he didn't want to stand around, listening to Matt apologize anymore. He knew it wouldn't make any difference, so why bother? Matt had said it himself; he didn't want to quit smoking—he didn't want to change. So no matter how sorry he was, it wouldn't actually do anything.

He started for the door, but turned back, finding a look of desperation on Matt's face. "You're such a hypocrite, you know that? You keep encouraging me to move away from everything I worked for to give writing a shot. You want me to change, but I don't think you know how to."

"Mello, I don't-" Matt started, but Mello didn't want to hear anymore. "Mello, wait. Where're you goin'?"

"I have to go to work. Stay here and do whatever the fuck you want." He slammed the door behind him, fuming as he made his way down the stairs.

He found himself on the floor below, pounding on the door to Misa's apartment. He wasn't entirely sure why he'd gone there, but since he had no real intention of going to work after that, it seemed as good a place as any. He might have gone running to blow off some steam had he not been wearing his work clothes, but now that he was out of the apartment he couldn't go back just to change his clothes. Besides, going to Misa's was just second nature when he wanted to get away from home; it always had been.

He stood there impatiently as he waited for her to answer, knocking again, harder this time, when no one came to the door. It took a minute, but the door slowly opened, revealing Misa standing there wearing a pair of tiny cotton shorts and a loose fitting tee-shirt, rubbing at her eyes with her hand. "Oh. Hi Mello," she yawned. Not bothering to say anything in return, he pushed past her and sat down on the couch, resting his elbow on the armrest, his head in his hand. "Nice to see you too," she said sarcastically, her hands on her hips. "What was that? You're sorry you woke me up? Oh, it's okay. I don't mind."

He shot a glare her way and rolled his eyes. He hadn't come over to listen to her snarky comments.

"What happened? Did you get lost on the way to work?" she asked, closing the door and going to sit down next to him.

"I'm not going to work," he grumbled, starting to think that maybe it had been a mistake to come over.

"So you just wear your Starbucks apron for the fun of it?"

"Hey Misa, you wanna shut up? I'm not really in the mood for your sarcasm."

"Well aren't we touchy today. Did something happen to piss you off or is it just that time of the month?" she asked jokingly, but the smile on her face quickly faded.

"Seriously. You're not helping. Just leave me the fuck alone."

"Alrighty, I'm gonna go with something happened to piss you off," she sighed but then turned towards him, sitting sideways on the couch cross-legged, her expression suddenly serious. "Do you wanna talk about it?" she asked, her tone gentle this time.

"Not really…" he mumbled, a bit ashamed of himself for snapping at Misa like that.

"Mkay," she said, looking at him with worry. "Well, I'm free all day, so if you wanna go out and try to get your mind off of it, or if you just wanna hang around here, I'm good with whatever."

"Thanks," he said, truly grateful for her offer. Misa could be self-centered sometimes, she could be pushy and demanding, but she really did know how to be supportive and comfort him, even if that meant backing off.

"Any time," she said, giving him an encouraging little smile. "If I go take a quick shower and get changed, will you be alright here?"

"Yeah. Of course," he managed, forcing a smile to his lips. Of course he would be alright. He had to be.

"Okay. I'll be right back," she said and gave his hand a gentle squeeze before getting up and heading for the bathroom.

"Misa?" he said quietly, half expecting her not to hear on her way out of the room.

"Hmm?"

"Why did I move in with Matt?" he asked, turning to look over the back of the couch at her.

She looked at him sadly and let out a sigh. "Because you care about him."

"Do I? Because sometimes…" He could feel tears start to well up in his eyes. He tried to push them back, trying to ignore them. He was supposed to be angry at Matt; it shouldn't have been a difficult thing to say. "Sometimes I think it would be easier if I didn't."

"Mello…" she sighed, a sad smile coming to her lips. "Of course it would be," she said, walking back over to him and sitting down next to him again. "Relationships are hard, but if you care about the other person and can make it work, it really is worth it."

"How can you say that? When was the last time you were actually in a serious relationship?" he asked weakly, but rather than getting any sort of answer, he watched as Misa's eyes lit up as if something exciting had just happened.

"Is that what it is? Is your relationship with Matt really that serious?" she asked, looking at him expectantly.

"Yeah, of course it is," he said, giving her a look that asked if she were crazy. Why would she even need to ask that? It seemed obvious to him. "I wouldn't have moved in with him if it wasn't."

Misa nodded, her smile widening. "Then I think you have your answer."

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** This chapter gave me such a hard time. I actually ended up having to rewrite most of it at one point, so it is _drastically_ different from the original. I'm much happier with this version even though it is a bit on the short side.

Well, then… Matt and Mello being in a fight is no fun. Actually, I take that back, fights are usually pretty fun to write, or in this case, rewrite since the original didn't go very well. Oh, but something terribly important happened in this chapter, and Mello completely overlooked it. Which means I don't get to say anything about it. _Sigh._ -_-

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>sad1st1c m1stress, samiekins17, DarkAngelJudas, Midnightkisses10, brightnight003, Mahri, CatatonicVanity, Don't Forget Hope, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, kiki1070, NessaYume, fadedlines


	17. Chapter 16: Surrender

Matt: Quiet Riot by MSD & Jillian Ann  
>Mello: Devastation and Reform by Relient K<p>

**Chapter 16: Surrender**

Mello's cell phone chimed, alerting him that he had a text. He instinctively pulled it out to check but paused when he realized who it probably was and returned it to his pocket instead.

"You can't avoid him forever," Misa said, taking a potato chip out of the bag and popping it into her mouth. She held the bag out for him to take some, but he shook his head.

"No, but I can ignore his texts for right now," he grumbled, giving her a look that told her the conversation was over.

"Suit yourself," she shrugged, "I told you before you're always welcome here."

"No, you're not," Takada called from the other room and came to stand in the threshold between the kitchen and living room. "Actually, I really think you should go make up with Matt. Preferably sooner rather than later."

"Kiyomi, be nice," Misa chided, "Mello can stay here as long as he wants."

"Sure, whatever, but I'm not making enough food for him to stay for dinner," she said, turning to return to the kitchen.

"Don't pay any attention to her," Misa smiled over at him.

"I usually don't," he said, and Misa's phone vibrated. She leaned over to pick it up off the coffee table and looked down at the screen.

"Uh…don't you think you should go talk to Matt?" she suggested, glancing up at him from her phone but quickly looked back down when she saw the look on his face.

"Why? Is that him?" he demanded. "I thought you said I was always welcome here."

"Well… you are, but…" she started cautiously, "he seems really worried about you."

"I'm sure," he said, rolling his eyes at her.

"Mello… You were supposed to be home from work thirty minutes ago, and you haven't responded to any of his texts or answered his calls. Can I at least text him back and tell him you're over here?"

"No. Absolutely not. Then he'll come here looking for me." He was actually pretty surprised that Matt hadn't already tried looking for him there. Then again, if he really thought Mello had gone to work, there would have been no need to.

"I have to tell him something. If I don't say anything, he'll know something's up," she insisted.

"I don't care what you tell him, just as long as you don't say I'm over here."

"Alright, then I'll say you're being a coward and hiding from him."

"Misa, I-" he started, glaring over at her, but she didn't give him the chance to finish.

"What? Isn't that what you're doing? You're hiding from him, aren't you?"

"I'm not _hiding_ from him," he grumbled, although he wasn't so sure that wasn't exactly what he was doing. He'd been over there all day.

Matt had tried calling him that morning, had left him six different messages and several more texts. They started out apologetic, Matt explaining how sorry he was and asking for Mello to forgive him, but when they changed to Matt arguing that Mello could be angry if he wanted because it was his own fault for not letting him in, Mello had stopped listening.

He'd already thought about it being his fault and had even gone as far as to tell Misa that he wished he'd listened to her and had told Matt sooner. He'd fully expected something along the lines of 'I told you so' from her but had only received a regretful smile instead. He was grateful for the way she'd given up her day to listen to his problems and then try to distract him when he didn't want to think about it anymore, but he couldn't understand what about that had suddenly been changed by one text from Matt. She'd gone from 'You can stay as long as you want' to what felt like 'Get out now, and stop being a pussy.'

"Fine then," she shrugged, "we'll say you're _not_ hiding from him. But you _are_ being a coward."

"Just because I don't want to talk to him doesn't mean that I'm being a coward."

"Look, Mello. I love you, and I'm always happy to spend time with you, but you really can't stay here forever. Complaining to me about Matt _isn't_ going to fix anything. Don't you think you should at least talk to him about what happened? It sounds like he's really sorry about what happened."

"Okay, whose side are you on?" he demanded. "Some best friend you are."

"Of course I'm on your side, which is why I think you need to go talk to him. I know you care about him, and I'm not letting you lose what you had with him because you're too stubborn to say you're sorry."

"And what exactly do I have to say I'm sorry for?" he asked, glaring at her. Even if it was partially his fault, he still didn't feel like he needed to say that he was sorry when Matt was the one who hadn't noticed that his actions were hurting him. He didn't know what Matt had said in that text to get her to turn on him, but whatever it was, he wished he'd kept it to himself. He much preferred it when Misa was trying to be supportive.

"Um, how about for being a stubborn jackass who doesn't know what's good for him?" she said, giving him a stern look. "Now get over there, and make up with Matt!"

"I'm not really sure how insulting me is supposed to make me want to go talk to him, but it's not like you can actually kick me out," he said, crossing his arms over his chest and settling down into the couch more firmly as if to show that he wasn't moving. He knew that he was being stubborn and maybe even a bit childish, but he didn't care. He wasn't ready to go talk to Matt yet.

"Fine. You're right. I can't _make_ you leave, but I do know that you're going to have to talk to him _eventually_, and I don't understand why _eventually_ can't be right now. I know you're angry at him, but just go see what he has to say. If you don't like what you hear, grab a change of clothes and you can spend the night here, unless you just want to wear those clothes for the rest of your life." It was certainly a compelling argument. He didn't really want to call in sick two days in a row, and if he didn't at least go get his clothes, he would not only have to sleep in what he was wearing, but wear it to work the next day as well.

"Fine," he said, finally giving in, "but don't expect anything out of it. I'm just gonna grab some clothes and that's it."

"Mkay," Misa said, a bit too happily. He wasn't quite sure what she was expecting to happen, but she was going to be sorely disappointed.

"Seriously, Misa. I'm still mad at him, and that's not gonna change any time soon," he told her firmly, getting up from the couch.

"That's fine," she said with a sly little smile, following him to the door. "See you soon then," she added, giving him a quick hug, and held the door open for him.

"Yeah…" he said skeptically, narrowing his eyes at her. The way she was acting made him feel as if he were being led into a trap.

"'Kay. Good luck," she sang out and shut the door the second he was out of the apartment, not even giving him the chance to respond.

He let out a sigh and resigned himself to his fate, heading towards the stairs. He didn't know why Misa was so adamant about him going to talk to Matt; it wasn't like it was going to make a difference, after all. Not that he was going there with the intent of discussing anything with Matt. He was just going to go in, grab some clothes, and leave. That was it.

It wasn't that he didn't want to make up with Matt because he really did; he cared too much about Matt not to. But that was exactly the problem. Matt wasn't going to change, and Mello cared too much to stand around watching him destroy himself. It was better not to care at all.

He stood in front of Matt's door, bracing himself for what he was about to do. Best case scenario, he could just walk right in, grab his stuff, and get out before Matt even noticed he was there. Of course, that seemed rather unlikely. He would be willing to bet just about anything that Misa had texted Matt back saying that he was on his way over the second he'd been out the door.

Mello placed his hand on the doorknob and stopped. He had no idea what he was going to say to Matt given the very likely chance that he was sitting in there waiting for him. It would have been easy had he known exactly what he wanted. Instead, he only knew what he didn't want: He didn't want to break up with Matt, but he didn't want to stay with him if it meant only getting hurt.

There. That was good enough. If it came down to it, he would just tell Matt exactly that and leave. That should be easy enough. But when he finally turned the doorknob and pushed the door open, any half-baked plan he'd decided on went out the window. He stood there, stunned by the sight before him.

The apartment looked markedly different. Or at least it looked different than it had that morning. It did, however, appear roughly the same as it had when he'd first moved in: most certainly cluttered, but at least everything was put back where it belonged. The sight that he'd left behind that morning was gone. No empty soda cans left next to the couch, no music equipment strung together with wires, and for that matter, no Matt.

He took a step forward, looking around the room in amazement, momentarily forgetting what he was there for. That is, until he noticed something out of the corner of his eye and turned to see Matt stepping into the living room from the kitchen, drying his hands on a dishtowel.

Matt stopped when he saw Mello, gaping at him as if he hadn't been expecting him. "Uh…hey…" he said nervously. He looked down at his hands and seemed surprised to find the dishtowel still in them. He tossed it back onto the kitchen counter and then turned back to Mello, a light pink tint creeping up into his cheeks as he seemed to try to decide what to do with his hands now that they were no longer holding the towel. He ran a hand through his hair, folded his arms across his chest, unfolded them, put them behind his back and leaned against the wall, pulled them forward and eventually decided to shove them down into his pockets where they couldn't get in the way.

Mello snickered, watching him as he went through this process, a small smile coming to his face. He loved how awkward Matt was at times, thought it was adorable. For a second, he forgot that he was supposed to be angry at him, and he wanted nothing more than to kiss that nervous little half-smile that Matt was wearing right off of his face.

But then he remembered and forced himself to look away from Matt. "I, uh… I'm just gonna go get some clothes, and then, uh…" He pointed over his shoulder, back towards the door. Matt opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but closed it instead, pressing his lips into a thin line and nodded once. "So, um… right…" Mello said and started for the bedroom, half expecting Matt to follow him but was glad when he didn't.

He stepped into their room and was surprised to find it just as clean as the living room. Sure, there was still way too much stuff in the small room, but there were no longer clothes strewn across the floor, Matt's comics were once again in a neat pile against the wall, and the clutter that had collected on the top of the dresser had been taken care of. It was as if he had pressed the rewind button and was seeing the room as he had when he'd first moved in, the only difference being that he could now spot some of his things around the room.

He remembered how out of place he'd felt to begin with, how he'd been so eager to have his stuff integrated into Matt's apartment, how it had felt like Matt's room and not _theirs_. Looking around the room as he stood there, it did feel like _theirs_, but it didn't really matter now.

He pressed forward, pushing it from his mind, and pulled the closet door open, quickly grabbing some clothes at random from his side of the closet, and rushed out of the room, not bothering to remove them from the hangers. The sooner he got out of there, the better. He couldn't risk staying there any longer than he had to. He was already starting to lose his resolve.

But when he reached the living room and saw Matt standing there, fidgeting with his hands, chewing on his lower lip, he wasn't so sure what he was running from. Maybe Misa was right. Maybe he was being a coward. Maybe he needed to at least let Matt _try_ to explain himself.

Matt looked up at him from his hands and licked his lips nervously. "So…uh…" he tried, but couldn't seem to get anything else out.

Mello stared at him from across the room, not sure of what to do. But when it came down to it, at that very moment, he had two options: he could either walk out the door, or he could stay. The first would undoubtedly be easier, but what would he actually accomplish by doing that? It would just be running away again.

But if he was going to stay, they couldn't stand there, watching each other awkwardly from opposite sides of the room forever. Someone would have to break the tension, and he doubted it was going to be Matt. So not knowing what to say, he simply went with the first thing that came to mind: "You cleaned."

"Heh…yeah…I did," Matt said, that awkward little half smile reappearing on his face. He hesitantly took a step forward and stopped immediately, looking down at his feet.

"I'm, uh, pretty impressed actually," Mello ventured, cautiously moving to lay his clothes over the back of the couch, and sat down, hoping Matt would do the same.

"Really?" Matt looked up at Mello from his feet in surprise.

"Yeah, I was starting to think you didn't know how to," he said lightly, and Matt let out a small laugh.

"Right," he nodded slowly, "Of course." He glanced over at Mello uncertainly and hesitantly came to sit next to him, albeit as far away as he possibly could and still be on the couch. "Well, I had to do _somethin'_ to keep myself busy while you were at work. Or not at work, I guess," he added, risking a quick look over at Mello to gauge his reaction before returning to the apparently fascinating loose string he'd found at the edge of one of the couch cushions, his fingers lightly tugging at it.

"Oh, um, yeah… I just…I called in sick," he explained, figuring Misa had told him that he'd spend the day at her apartment, "I didn't really feel like going in after what happened this morning."

"I know…" Matt said and then rushed to clarify, blushing wildly. "I mean, when you didn't come home on time, I got really worried, especially since you didn't answer any or my texts or calls or anythin'. After you left like that, I kept thinkin' what if you'd gotten into an accident or somethin'? So I called your work to make sure you got there okay, and they told me about you takin' a sick day."

Mello nodded, not sure what to make of it, but then something hit him. "You were actually worried about me?" When Misa had suggested that very notion, it had seemed ridiculous to him; now it seemed much more plausible.

"Of course I was. What kinda stupid question is that?" Mello could only stare, completely taken aback by the way Matt had lashed out at him so unexpectedly. Maybe he'd made a mistake in deciding to stay. But the second the words were out of Matt's mouth, a look of horror came over him, clearly ashamed of himself. "I'm sorry," he managed, looking down at his knees rather than at Mello, raking a hand through his hair, actually pulling at it in the process. He sounded on the verge of tears, and the grimace that had appeared on his face almost made it seem like he was in pain. "I'm sorry," he breathed out, this time looking back to Mello. "I haven't smoked all day."

It came as a shock to Mello. Of all the things Matt could have said to explain why he was so on edge, this was the one thing Mello would not have expected, not after what Matt had said that morning. "You…haven't?"

Matt shook his head. "Not since this mornin'."

"This morning…like, before I left this morning?"

"Yeah," Matt said, looking quite proud of himself. But even though he smiled over at Mello, he was clearly not doing very well. Besides appearing absolutely exhausted, there were smaller things which Mello had not noticed right away. He kept shifting his gaze around, looking from Mello, down to his hands, over to the table next to the couch which no longer held an ashtray as it normally did, back to his hands, and over to the table again. He kept picking at his thumbnail on his right hand, constantly fidgeting with his hands, and when Mello looked closer, he noticed that it was actually raw and bloody alongside his nail as if he'd been at it awhile. He shifted in his seat and rubbed one of his eyes with the heel of his hand, taking a deep breath and letting it out in a ragged sigh.

Mello reached out and took hold of Matt's hand in his own. "That's really great," he said earnestly, impressed with Matt's efforts.

"Yeah, I don't even know the last time I went this long without a smoke," he said, his smile faltering. His grip tightened on Mello's hand as he swallowed audibly and started chewing on his lower lip.

"But…I thought you said you didn't want to quit…"

"I don't," Matt said immediately but quickly altered his answer. "I mean…I _didn't_. But I didn't know how much it hurt you to see me smoke. I just…I don't wanna hurt you," he managed, a pained expression on his face.

"But-" he tried, only to have Matt cut him off.

"Mels, can we _not_ talk about this right now?" Matt pleaded, tightening his grip on Mello's hand, the muscles in his jaw tensing.

"Yeah. Sure," Mello said, giving him a soft smile. But he couldn't help but think that if Matt didn't really _want _to quit, it wouldn't last very long.

Even so…it was apparent that Matt was trying his best even though it wasn't easy for him, the way he was acting making Mello wonder if it were actually physically painful for him. And even if he wasn't successful right away, at least he was trying, and that was more than he could say for his mother. Maybe he had been wrong. Matt wasn't a lost cause.

"Matt, are you okay?" Mello asked as Matt scrubbed a hand across his face, taking a deep breath.

"No," Matt said, letting out a short mirthless laugh, "No, I'm not. It's like I can't _breathe_ right." His free hand rubbed across his chest roughly as if it would do something to help, and he turned to Mello. "It _hurts_. Like my veins ahre on fire."

He tugged Matt closer to him, putting his arms around him. His hand moved slowly over Matt's back. "It's okay," he whispered, and although Matt held onto him tightly, he shook his head against Mello's shoulder.

"No, it's not. I can't… I need…" he tried but buried his face in the crook of Mello's neck.

"Matt…" he started, unsure of what he was about to say. He didn't just want to give Matt a free pass, but at the same time, he hated seeing him like this…and he _was_ trying his best it seemed. "You know… You don't have to quit all at once…if it's too hard or whatever… You could just start by cutting back…"

Matt immediately pulled back to look at Mello, a manic look in his eyes. "And you'd be okay with that?" he asked, a mix of excitement and desperation in his voice.

"Yeah, I guess…"

"Ahre you sure?"

"Yes, Matt. I'm fine with it," he said firmly, all the while hoping he wasn't making a mistake by giving Matt an easy way out just to have him revert back to the way things were.

"So… Can I…?"

"Yeah," he sighed, and Matt jumped up from the couch to run to the kitchen. Mello wasn't sure that he'd ever seen him move so quickly; Matt wasn't one to exert himself physically unless he had good reason to. But between his unexpected departure and the racket coming from the kitchen, he considered going to check on him. That is, until Matt came running through the living room towards the door, a somewhat crumpled pack of cigarettes and an ashtray in hand.

"I'll clean that up when I get back," he said quickly, already at the door.

"Clean what up? Where are you going?"

"Outside," and Matt was gone.

Mello stared at the door, somewhat dumbfounded by everything that had just happened. He'd come there with the intention of grabbing some clothes and leaving. How could have such a simple plan gone awry? Not that he really minded.

He still wasn't sure exactly where he stood with Matt, but he could see that he was making an effort, and he would be lying if he said he wasn't impressed. It made him want to stay, and it gave him hope that things would be better in the future. Maybe he'd been too quick to judge Matt's intentions when he'd had no right to.

He got up from the couch, following after Matt, but when he opened the door, he was surprised when he didn't immediately see him. He hadn't expected Matt to actually go all the way outside to smoke. He'd never had a problem smoking in places he wasn't supposed to before, the hall included. "Whadya doin'? I'll be in in a minute," he heard down to his left and found Matt sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall. He was turned away from Mello, and it almost appeared as if he was trying to hide the fact that he was smoking.

"Matt, you didn't have to come out here to smoke," he said, taking a seat next to the redhead.

"But I thought-"

"It's fine. It means a lot to me that you even went this long without smoking," he smiled over at Matt.

"I really am gonna try to quit, you know. I don't wanna hurt you," Matt said solemnly, hesitantly bringing the cigarette up to his lips and turning his head to blow the smoke away from Mello.

"Thank you." He took Matt's hand in his own. "You have no idea how much that means to me."

"You were right, y'know. I really am dependent on these things," he said sadly, looking down at the cigarette placed loosely between his fingers. "I don't even remember what it's like not to need them."

"It's okay. We'll figure it out. I have faith in you."

"Heh, that's more than I can say for myself. I wanna quit," he said, turning to Mello, "for you. But what if I can't? I've been smokin' since I was thirteen… I just… Not smokin' all day was awful… What if I can't do it?"

"You _can_. I know you can. And I'll do everything I can to help."

Matt shook his head. "I dunno what you can do. I did everythin' I could think of to try to distract myself. After I finished workin' on that song this mornin', I tried to get some sleep, but I couldn't stop thinkin' about how much I wanted a smoke. So I got up and tried workin' on my music some more, I tried playin' video games… I did manage to clean the apahrtment, but the entire time, all I could think about was smokin'…"

"But you didn't actually smoke. You're a lot stronger than you think you are. I believe in you." He leaned over to kiss Matt on the cheek, rubbing the back of his hand with his thumb gently.

"Yeah…" Matt sighed and took a drag on his cigarette. "Thanks." He smashed the cigarette down into the ashtray sitting on the floor next to him and laid his head down on Mello's shoulder. "I'm sorry," he mumbled as Mello moved to put his arm around Matt's shoulders, "For everythin'."

"I know… And I'm sorry for making such a big deal out of it this morning. I shouldn't have acted like that."

"Mels, you need to tell me when somethin' is botherin' you. I'm not gonna know if you don't," he said, pulling back slightly to look Mello in the eye. "I had no idea you actually cared about keepin' the apahrtment clean. I mean, I know I've been really wrapped up in workin' on my music, and I prob'ly haven't been noticin' a lot of things because of it. I promise I'll make more time to spend with you, but please, if somethin' is wrong, _you gotta tell me_."

"I will," Mello nodded. "I promise."

"And you gotta understand…when I said you should see if you could do somethin' with your writin', I didn't want you to throw everythin' else away. I don't want you to change. I love you just the way you ahre," Matt said softly, but then Mello felt him tense and watched as his eyes grew wide and his cheeks flushed a bright red, realizing what he'd just said. "I-I mean," Matt said, pulling away from Mello, "That's not what I mean…" He stood up abruptly, clutching the pack of cigarettes in his fist. "Oh…fuck. Please take these," he said and tossed the pack into Mello's lap. "You don't hafta say anythin' to that… I-I didn't mean anythin' by it. I just… Fuck…" He stood there, facing away from Mello, and ran a hand through his hair.

"Mattie…" he said softly, getting up and putting a hand on Matt's shoulder, tugging on it to get him to turn around. "It's fine. Calm down." He pulled him into a hug, Matt just standing there, his arms hanging limply at his sides.

"I didn't-"

"Really. It's fine. You don't have to say anything else." He honestly wasn't sure if he was relieved or disappointed that Matt had taken back those words. At the very least, it had saved him from responding to something he didn't know how to. He knew he cared about Matt. A lot. More than he ever had anyone else. But…that didn't mean that he loved him, did it? He didn't think he'd ever really been in love before so he had nothing he could compare his feelings for Matt to. But surely he would _know_ if he were in love, right?

Matt brought his arms up to meet against Mello's back and nodded. Yes, it was best if Matt didn't say anything more about it.

"Let's go back inside," Mello suggested, and Matt nodded once more, bending down to pick the ashtray and pack of cigarettes up off the floor.

"I really think it's better if you hang onto these," he said, holding the cigarettes out for Mello to take. "If I keep 'em, they'll prob'ly be gone by the end of the day. I don't need to carry the reminder around with me."

"Yeah, sure," he said and took them from Matt, not having a clue of what he was going to do with them or what he should do when Matt would inevitably want one. "What did you do while I was gone?"

"Well…" Matt started, letting out a small laugh as he headed back into the apartment and towards the kitchen. "I threw 'em out, and then after I cleaned the apahrtment, they were kinda buried at the bottom of the trash. So when you said I could smoke…this happened."

Mello stepped into the kitchen, and his jaw dropped. The sight before him was slightly reminiscent of what he used to find when raccoons would get into their garbage cans back home. Empty chip bags and soda cans littered the floor around the trash can—all the stuff that had previously been left laying around the apartment when Matt had decided it was too much work to get up and throw it away.

"Sorry 'bout all this. I was, uh, kinda desperate," Matt said embarrassedly, returning everything on the floor to the trash can.

"Yeah…I can see that…" Mello said, watching as Matt quickly took care of the mess. He didn't really know what to think of it. What would happen when Matt got to that state of desperation again? He'd said that he would help Matt quit, and he would do whatever that entailed, but he really had no idea of what to do or how to start.

He wasn't expecting Matt to throw another pack of cigarettes at him, and almost dropped them when he did. "There. That's all I have," Matt said, nodding to the unopened pack now in Mello's hand. "After that, I'm done."

"And…how long is all this supposed to last?"

"Heh, well…I could easily smoke that in a day, but you can't let me. That has to last me as long as it can." But even as Matt said those words, he stood there, staring longingly at the two packs in Mello's hands.

"…Alright." He turned to leave, but Matt immediately stopped him.

"H-hey, where're you goin'?" He turned to see Matt standing there, starting to pick at his thumbnail again.

"You said you didn't want the reminder, so I'm gonna put these someplace where they're not out in the open." He tried to continue into the living room, but Matt followed him.

"Can I…" he started but stopped himself, suddenly looking away.

"Matt, stay here. I'll be right back," he said firmly and started back towards their bedroom, grabbing the clothes he laid over the back of the couch on his way. He returned them to the closet and looked around the room, not sure of where to put Matt's cigarettes. Deciding it was best to be quick about it before Matt came in, asking for one, he settled for the first place he thought of: in his suitcase, which had been shoved in the back of the closet.

He stopped by the bathroom, grabbing a band aid out of the medicine cabinet, and returned to the living room, sitting down next to Matt on the couch. "Stop that," he said and pulled his right hand over so Matt would stop picking at his nail. "It's already bleeding; you don't need to make it any worse." He peeled the covering off the band aid and wound it around Matt's thumb.

"I'm not a little kid," Matt grumbled but let Mello bandage his thumb anyway. "I can take care of myself."

"Clearly," Mello rolled his eyes. "Which is why you need me to hide your cigarettes from you."

"Hey, that's different," he retorted but then let out a sigh. "Thank you. Really…thank you."

"No problem," he smiled and leaned forward to kiss Matt softly.

"So…you're stayin' then?" Matt asked, starting to chew on his bottom lip the second Mello pulled away.

"Of course. Do you really think I could leave you alone like this?" he added jokingly.

"I don't need a babysitter," Matt laughed, and Mello was glad to see he wasn't taking what he'd said seriously. But even with the smile on his face, Matt's foot continued to tap on the ground, and he'd now moved on to picking at the edge of the band aid.

"Is it bad?" he asked quietly, taking hold of Matt's hand so he would stop.

He shrugged in return. "I mean, it's not _terrible_. Right now, at least. It's hahrd to just sit here though."

"Let's do something then. We could go to the store and get something to help with the withdrawal?" he suggested. "They have that gum and those patch things to help with that, right?"

"Yeah, sure, I'll try anythin'," Matt said, jumping up from the couch, his eagerness making Mello wonder if it was worse than he was letting on. Matt grabbed his keys and practically dragged Mello out the door and down the hall to the elevator. He pushed the button for the ground floor and stared up at the display above the doors, watching as the numbers displayed slowly decreased. "Hey, Mels? You're comin' home right after work tomorrow, right?" he asked, glancing over at Mello.

"Dammit…" Mello grumbled, remembering something, and Matt gave him a look of confusion. "I left my apron at Misa's," he explained, "We'll have to pick it up on the way back." He was not looking forward to that visit. He could just imagine the smug comments she would make.

"Yeah. Sure," he said, his attention back on the display above the elevator doors. "So?"

"Oh. Right. Yeah, I shouldn't be late coming home from work. Why?" he asked, wondering if Matt just wanted the company to distract himself or if it were perhaps something more specific.

"No reason," he shrugged, and Mello assumed it to be the former. He had no idea how it was for Matt to go through this, but he would do whatever he had to in order to help make quitting easier on him. It was the least he could do.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I know this is really late, and I'm very sorry. A lot has been going on in both mine and my beta's lives, which as it turns out is a bad combination for getting things posted. I am hoping to return to my once a week schedule, and I'll hopefully have chapter 17 up sometime this weekend, but I can't promise anything.

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>Cassandra106, brightnight003, Mahri, NessaYume, CatatonicVanity, DarkAngelJudas, Mustached Kira, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, Midnightkisses10, Lotta Devon, Evidence Of Rain, Beloved Little Bit, teB360, spiritfoxxx821, kiki1070


	18. Chapter 17: Words

Mello: Far by Coheed & Cambria  
>Matt: Oxygen (Gemini Remix) by Hadouken!<p>

**Chapter 17: Words**

Mello pulled into the parking garage, finding a spot with some difficulty, and silenced his motorcycle. He slipped the helmet off over his head and let out a sigh, draping his arm across the handlebars and slumping over to rest his head on it. After the day he'd had at work, he was in no mood to come home to a recovering nicotine junkie.

The intensity of Matt's withdrawal varied; it wasn't as bad when it was constant and he just had to work to distract Matt, but he never knew what to do when there was a sudden shift and Matt was demanding that he tell him where his cigarettes were. He'd only given him one so far and that had been the night before at three in the morning so he could finally get to sleep. They both had to work in the morning and neither one of them were getting any sleep with the way Matt kept shifting around in the bed, trying to find some way to get comfortable.

Even after they'd went to the store the day before and picked up a few things to help ease the withdrawal, Matt still seemed to be having a difficult time adjusting. Of course, Mello figured that however much nicotine Matt was getting from the patch and the gum they'd bought was still much less than his body was used to. He'd asked Matt how many cigarettes he normally smoked in a day while they had been looking at the different strengths the nicotine patches and gum came in, but the most he'd been able to get out of him was a vague "You don't wanna know" right before he'd grabbed the highest strength available of both.

Mello sat up, releasing his hair from the hair tie he'd had it pulled back in and running a hand through it, letting it tumble down to brush against his shoulders. He put the black hair tie around his wrist and dismounted from the motorcycle, deciding now was as good of time as any to go up to their apartment and see what kind of state Matt was in. Besides, the longer he waited, the more likely he felt that Matt would tear apart the apartment looking for his cigarettes. For that matter, maybe he already had; if only Matt would have had to work later than Mello, then that entire possibility would have been avoided.

Mello made his way into the building and to the elevator, pressing the 'up' arrow, standing there impatiently as he waited for the doors to open. All he wanted to do was fall face first onto the bed and sleep for the next twelve hours, to catch up on the sleep he'd lost the night before. He knew that really wasn't an option, but it was a nice thought nonetheless. Matt had said that he didn't need a babysitter, but Mello felt like that's exactly what he needed. When Mello could keep him distracted, he did pretty well; when he didn't, Matt got fidgety and seemed to go through his pack of gum at a much faster rate than Mello was sure he was supposed to. He'd even asked Misa to go check on Matt during his lunch break to make sure he was doing alright since Mello had known he wouldn't be able to.

After only about twenty-four hours of this, Mello was already exhausted. He supposed it was at least partially because of his lack of sleep, but still…it was like Matt needed attention constantly to keep his mind off smoking. It was sort of like what he imagined having a kid to be like…or an exceptionally needy pet.

A pet who had happened to let the words 'I love you' slip.

He'd decided not to think about it. After all, Matt had taken it back, so it didn't count, right? It was better that way.

But even so, he'd been able to think of little else while he had been at work all day. Those three little words had left Matt's mouth, so they had to count for something even if he hadn't meant to say them. Which meant Mello had to figure out exactly what his feelings for Matt were as soon as possible before the redhead decided to say it again for real. Yet after the hours of deliberating he'd spent during work, the best he could come up with was a solid 'I don't know.'

The elevator doors finally parted and out stepped a smartly dressed young man about his age with brown hair whom Mello recognized as Light from pictures Misa had show him. He walked hand in hand with a very awkward looking man whose posture would have made any finishing school teacher cringe. He had messy black hair and dark circles under his eyes that rivaled Matt's; Mello believed Misa had called him L.

They were a strange looking couple, but despite their very obvious differences, they walked together as if they were synchronized. Each movement was matched perfectly by the other as if they could effortlessly predict each other's actions. And between the time it took them to exit the elevator and walk to the front doors of the apartment building, Mello was certain that was the look of two people in love.

What did he and Matt look like when they walked together? Did they have that look about them? But as he watched as Light pushed one of the twin glass doors open, he heard the elevator start to slide shut and immediately abandoned his questions in favor of catching the doors, slipping in before it left without him.

He pressed the button marked '7' and leaned against the wall, staring back at his reflection in the shiny silver doors opposite him. The man he saw wore a blank expression; he looked tired, bored, and Mello couldn't help but wonder what those doors reflected when Matt was there next to him. The last time he'd actually taken the time to notice was when he'd ran into Matt on his way to leave for work after Misa had told him that he'd broken up with Sayu. He remembered an image of two people standing a safe distance from each other, awkwardly trying to figure out how to have a conversation, reflecting back at him. That was the same day Matt had asked Mello to go to the carnival with him. How strange to think how much things had changed since then.

They couldn't possibly look like that now. They had learned how to coincide with each other. They were so much closer now. And even though he was certain that their interactions couldn't have looked anything like L and Light's the last time they'd stood in that very spot on their way home from the store the night before, Matt frantically tearing open the new pack of nicotine gum and Mello trying to calm him, his hand lightly moving over Matt's back, maybe it didn't matter. Maybe that in and of itself was a part of it. He would do anything for Matt. He cared about him more than anything else in the world. He-

The elevator chimed, and the doors opened, pulling him from his thoughts. He pushed off the wall, stepping out of the elevator and continuing down the hall towards his and Matt's apartment. He had no idea whether Matt would be at a high or a low in his withdrawal, but it didn't matter. Matt needed him, and Mello would do everything he could possibly do to help him, just like Matt had taught him how to open up and trust him, how to let go of his past and his hate. Because Matt had helped him to become a better man, and because Mello loved him for it.

Mello pushed the door open and was surprised to hear Matt having a conversation with someone in the other room. He thought for a moment that Misa may have decided to pay him a visit to keep him company while he waited for Mello to get home, but it wasn't Misa's voice that he heard in response to Matt's. It sounded like the voice of a young girl.

Mello followed the sound of Matt's laughter to their bedroom, thoroughly confused. This was hardly the environment he'd thought he would be coming home to. For one, they weren't supposed to having company over, but that wasn't what had him concerned. If Matt was in that good of a mood, he was either doing exceptionally well with the withdrawal—which seemed unlikely to Mello, given how things had been going—or he'd discovered where his cigarettes were hidden.

He found the bedroom door open a crack and hesitantly pushed it open, revealing Matt sitting on the bed, his laptop placed atop his outstretched legs, his bare feet crossed loosely at his ankles. He wiped at his eyes, noticing Mello standing in the doorway as he lowered his hand. "Great, you're home," he said enthusiastically and scooted over on the bed, patting the spot next to him. "Com'ere."

Still not sure exactly what was going on, Mello undid the tie of his Starbucks apron and slipped it off over his head, hanging it on the doorknob before going to join Matt. He slid onto the bed, and Matt's arm immediately went around his waist. "This is Mello."

"Is he your _boyfriend_?" the little girl on the screen asked, giggling near the end. Mello recognized her from Matt's picture. Her hair was a bit longer, and she looked a year or two older than she had in the photograph he'd seen of her and Matt, but it was definitely Tegan looking to Matt expectantly for an answer to her question.

"Mmhmm," and Matt leaned over to kiss Mello's cheek.

"Ew," Tegan giggled, her nose crinkling up.

"Oh c'mon. It's not _that_ bad," Matt said. "What happened to _your_ boyfriend?" he teased.

"Timmy is _not_ my boyfriend, Matt," she insisted. "That's just _gross_."

"Timmy's her best friend," Matt explained, turning towards Mello. He nodded, not sure what to say. This was not at all what he'd expected when he'd come home. What was he supposed to say to her? He had next to zero experience with children, and he didn't want to do or say something wrong, not when he knew how much she meant to Matt.

"Yeah, but he's not my _boyfriend_," she said, sticking out her tongue and making a face to emphasize just how gross she thought the idea was.

"So? Mello's my best friend, _and_ he's my boyfriend." Mello glanced over at him, surprised. Was he Matt's best friend? He knew Matt only had a couple close friends, most of which he didn't see much anymore because they had either stayed in Boston or had gone to a university in a different state. Maybe he was then…

He turned back to the screen to find Tegan looking him over as if inspecting him. "Does he talk? He hasn't said anythin'."

"Usually," Matt said, giving him a look of confusion. "It's okay. She doesn't bite."

"I bit the dentist once," she corrected.

"Oh, right. I forgot about that," Matt said, letting out a laugh. "Dentists ahre kinda scary though," he said, and she nodded vigorously, clearly agreeing wholeheartedly. "Mello's not scary."

"Naw, he doesn't look very scary," she agreed, inspecting him again. "He looks kinda scared though. Is somethin' wrong?" she asked, suddenly appearing worried.

"He's just nervous about meetin' you," Matt said, rubbing a hand over Mello's lower back, encouraging him to say something. He wished he knew how to; Matt spoke so effortlessly with her, but Mello couldn't think of a single thing to say. What were you supposed to talk to a seven-year-old about?

"You don't hafta be nervous. It's just me," she said, giving him a smile, the same smile as Matt's; she reminded Mello so much of her older brother, from her looks to her mannerisms to her accent.

"Uh…it's nice to meet you?" he tried, but it came out more as a question than he'd intended it to, and it hardly felt like a successful attempt.

"It's nice to meet you too," she said formally, laughing as she did a little bow. "I like your hair," she told him when she looked back up. "It's pretty."

"Thanks?" he said, elbowing Matt in the ribs when he unsuccessfully tried to stifle a laugh.

"Is somethin' funny?" she asked, confused.

"Yeah, what's so funny, Matt?" he demanded, looking at him expectantly.

"Nothin'. I love your 'pretty' hair," Matt said, pulling him closer and leaning his head down onto Mello's shoulder.

"Thanks, Matt," he said flatly, pushing him away playfully.

Tegan gave them a weird look, but then gasped, her face lighting up as if she'd just remembered something exciting. "Matt, Matt, guess what?" she exclaimed.

"What?" he asked, leaning closer to the computer, mirroring her excitement.

"Mum said I could get my ears pierced for my birthday!"

"Did she?" he said skeptically. "Ahre you sure you wanna do that? It's prob'ly gonna hurt, y'know."

"I can handle it. I'm almost eight," she said firmly.

"I know, but ahre you sure?"

"Yes," she said defiantly, but then her expression softened. "You're not mad, ahre you?"

"No, of course not," he said gently.

"And you're still comin' home for my birthday, right?"

"Even if I hafta walk back to Bahstin."

"Good… 'cause I want _you_ to go with me," she said quietly, no longer looking so sure about the idea of getting her ears pierced.

"Alright. Sure," he sighed, and a smile returned to Tegan's face. "You got a couple months to think about it. If you still wanna get it done when I visit for your birthday, I'll take you. But mum or dad will have to go too, y'know."

"Why?" she whined. "They're gonna be too busy, and then I'll never get to go."

"Because I'm sure they'll have to sign somethin'."

"But I'm almost eight."

"Yeah, but you're not eighteen."

"You weren't eighteen when you got your tattoo," she grumbled.

"Tegan, even if I got you a fake ID, no one's gonna believe you're eighteen. Sorry, kiddo. You'll have to get mum or dad to come with us. Besides, you're not gettin' a tattoo. Just one hole in each ear and that's it," he said firmly, and then let out a laugh, shaking his head. "Where d'you even come up with this stuff?"

She shrugged in response, looking off the screen to the left, guilt written across her face.

"Seriously, I shouldn't hafta be havin' this conversation with you yet," he said, and although it was jokingly, Mello could see a hint of true seriousness in his expression.

"It's okay, Matt. I'm _never_ gettin' a tattoo," she reassured him, and then a look of horror and disgust came over her. "I looked up what they had to do to get it to stay."

"Good. I'll remind you of this conversation when you're sixteen."

"Okay, but I'm not gonna change my mind," she insisted. "No matter what mum says."

"Whadya mean? What did mum say?"

"Well…" she started hesitantly, "I heard her talkin' to dad once, and she said she thinks you're a bad influence sometimes…"

"Of course she did," he muttered.

"Don't be mad," she pleaded. "_I_ don't think you ahre."

"Thanks, kiddo. I appreciate that. But you can tell mum I quit smokin' so I think I should get some points for that."

Tegan's jaw dropped, her eyes widening. "You did?" she said excitedly.

"Yep. Mello convinced me to." Matt glanced over at him, a wide grin on his face.

"Really?" She looked back and forth between the two of them. "For real this time?"

"Heh, yeah, for real this time," Matt said softly and turned to Mello, giving him a look of gratitude.

"I decided I like you," Tegan told Mello before she looked to Matt again. "You can keep him."

"Oh, good. I'm glad I have your permission," Matt laughed, but Mello truly was relieved. He knew that she meant the world to Matt, so what if she hadn't liked him? Would have that been a deal breaker? Would have Matt broken up with him? But now that she had declared that she did, in fact, approve, he could relax a bit. He no longer felt like he was on trial.

But then Tegan said something that put him on edge again, something that he'd honestly not thought of when she'd mentioned it earlier. "Is he comin' home with you for my birthday?" He felt Matt tense next to him, and he glanced over out of the corner of his eye to try to gauge Matt's reaction.

"I, uh… We haven't really, uh, talked about it…" Matt stumbled, a slight blush coming to his cheeks. "D'you, um, _mind_ if Mello comes?"

Tegan appeared to think about it for a moment before replying, "Naw, he can come." She smiled at Mello, and he smiled back, trying to appear less nervous than he was. It wasn't necessarily that he didn't want to go with Matt to Boston, but were they at that point in their relationship where they could make plans that far in advance? Matt had said Tegan's birthday was in October, and it was only July, albeit late July, but regardless, that was still a couple months away. They'd only been living together for a little over two weeks; it hardly seemed guaranteed that they would even still be together in two or three months.

Not to mention that even if they were still together and Mello did go with Matt to visit for Tegan's birthday, that would mean that he'd be meeting Matt's parents. He could barely manage talking to Matt's seven-year-old sister through a computer screen; meeting Matt's parents in person sounded terrifying.

"Uh… Alright," Matt said nervously, making Mello wonder if similar thoughts were running through his head as well. "We'll, uh…hafta see."

"Mkay…" Tegan said hesitantly. "Did I say somethin' bad?" she asked, picking up on the change in Matt's tone.

"Naw, of course not, kiddo," Matt said lightly. "Me and Mello just need to…talk about a couple things first…"

"Like what?" Tegan asked innocently, looking to Matt for an explanation, but he was saved from having to answer.

"Ay, dios mío!" they heard, and Tegan looked up to her right. "Tegan! There you are! And what are you doing with your papi's computer?"

"I'm just talkin' to Matt…" she said, a look of guilt on her face.

"You're supposed to be getting ready for bed," the voice scolded. "Now go!"

"But Miss Carmen…" Tegan whined.

"No. Say good night to Matt. It's time for bed."

"Tegan," Matt said firmly, when the little girl looked back to the screen. "Did you take dad's computer again without askin'?"

"Yeah…"

"You know he said you could use it whenever you want _as long as you ask_."

"I know, but he's not home…" she said quietly, looking dejected.

"What about mum?" Matt asked, and Tegan shook her head. "Then you should've at least told Carmen you wanted to use dad's computer."

"I know… I'm sorry…"

"Don't apologize to me. Apologize to Carmen."

"I'm sorry, Miss Carmen…"

"It's okay, hija. Now go start getting ready for bed. I want to talk to Matt for a minute," the woman said, her tone gentle this time, and Tegan turned back to look at them.

"G'night, Matt," she said to her brother before looking to Mello. "Bye, Mello."

"I love you, kiddo. Good night," Matt said as she took the computer out of her lap and sat it on the ground. She waved to the both of them and was gone.

Mello watched as the computer was picked up and placed on a nearby table. A middle-aged Mexican woman sat down in front of it. She eyed Mello suspiciously before turning to Matt and started to speak rapidly in Spanish.

Matt glanced over at him, a concerned expression on his face, and looked back to the screen. "It's not really-" he started, only to be interrupted by the women.

"En español," she said—the only words Mello had understood as of yet—before continuing, looking over at him again as she spoke.

"Y'know, I'm just gonna tell him after this anyway," Matt said, but the woman gave him a stern look, and he let out a sigh and said something in Spanish.

There was a short exchange between the two, the only thing of which Mello caught was his name, before the woman shook her head disapprovingly, her lips pressed into a thin line. "Good night, Matt," she said, her tone still sharp, and turned to Mello. "Matt's…_friend_." And she moved to get up, the screen going blank as she did so.

Matt let out a sigh and exited out of the video window, closing the lid to his laptop. "Sorry 'bout that…" His voice was barely above a whisper as he stared down at the computer in his lap, tracing the neon hearts painted onto the lid with his finger.

"I didn't know you could speak Spanish," Mello said, trying to keep his tone light even though he was dying to ask what had just happened.

"That's what you got out of everythin' that just happened?" Matt asked flatly, raising an eyebrow at him. "That I can speak Spanish?"

"Well… I, uh, take it she doesn't like me?" he tried cautiously.

"She's normally the nicest woman. She was actually my nanny when I was growin' up," he said sadly. "She's just…she's very old school Catholic." Mello nodded slowly, understanding. "It's not you—I'm sure if she got to know you, she'd love you—it's just she doesn't like that you're my boyfriend."

"Was that…everything?"

"Basically," Matt nodded. "I asked her not to tell my parents, but I know she will anyway. Prob'ly will be gettin' a call from them tomorrow now. That's gonna be a fun conversation," he said sarcastically.

"So…they're not okay with it? I mean, you sort of said something about it before, but…" He remembered Matt saying how his dad had thought he was just looking for attention when he'd come out as bi but had more or less just left it at that.

"Not really to stahrt, but it's gotten better. They _try_ to be understandin', but they're still kinda weirded out by it," he shrugged. "Tegan's cool with it, and that's really all that matters to me."

"Then…why are you worried about them calling?"

"It's not that I'm worried, exactly. I just don't really talk to them. They never made the effort when I was there, so why should I now that I'm gone? It's just…there's _that_, so I'm sure I'm gonna get the 'why don't you ever call?' lecture since I have a boyfriend that they don't know about. And then Tegan's prob'ly gonna tell them that I quit smokin'…"

"Won't they be happy about that?"

"Yeah, but I doubt they'll believe it's gonna last," he said, letting out a mirthless laugh. "I tried to quit once before, y'know." Mello's face must have betrayed his surprise, because a genuine smile came to Matt's face this time. "Yeah… I, uh, managed to hide it from them for _years_, which I s'pose really wasn't that hahrd since they were always at work or away on business trips. But then my dad came in early one day and caught me smokin' while I was out in the garage, workin' on my cahr.

"He made a big deal of it of course, blew up about it, and kept tellin' me how I was just makin' one bad decision after another. Between that and splittin' my time between takin' care of Tegan durin' the day and workin' on my cahr after she went to bed, he was convinced I was throwin' my life away.

"When he told my mother after she got home that night, it was more of the same except she was sorta disapprovin' while dad just stahrted yellin' all over again. I think that was worse, her bein' quiet like that. But none of it really changed anythin'. I didn't care about what they thought, but with everythin' that was goin' on, it woke Tegan up.

"I don't know that she completely understood what was goin' on or what it all meant, but she knew smokin' was _bad_, and when she found out…" Matt's hand went to his chest as he continued to stare down at the hearts painted onto his laptop, and Mello could see tears start to collect in the corners of his eyes. "When she found out, she gave me this look…like she was disappointed in me…and I hated it.

"I just…I couldn't disappoint her like that, so I did my best to try to quit, but I couldn't. I made it about a day and a half before I gave in, and that day and a half was _awful_. I mean, it wasn't nearly as bad as it is this time because I didn't smoke as much back then—I didn't stahrt smokin' a lot till after I moved out. But still, at the time, it was the worst thing I'd ever really experienced, and I couldn't do it again.

"I decided that things had been fine before Tegan found out, so if I could just…_pretend_ like I'd quit, she'd be proud of me again," he breathed out. A tear rolled down his cheek and landed on his shirt. He wiped at his face and let out a sigh. "But at that point, I wasn't foolin' anyone anymore. My parents still knew; Tegan still knew…

"But I _never_ smoked in front of her," he said firmly, abruptly turning to face Mello. "I couldn't let her see me like that… That's why I had to talk to her today. No matter how bad I felt, I wasn't gonna let her see it."

"Is it…that bad today then?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah… But between you and Tegan, it's nice to be reminded of why I'm goin' through with it." Matt smiled at him, a small hopeful smile, and leaned over to place a soft kiss on Mello's lips. "I wanna get rid of those cigarettes I toldya to hide," he said when he pulled back. "'Do or do not. There is no try.' Right?" Matt said, a quirky little grin appearing on his face as he wiped away the drying remnants of the tears he'd let go.

"Right," Mello laughed. "Words of wisdom from a weird little green alien with pointy ears," he said, recognizing Yoda's words from _The Empire Strikes Back_ and feeling like a nerd because of it.

"Words of wisdom from a Jedi master," Matt corrected jokingly, but then his expression slowly became serious. "Would you, uh, get 'em?"

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah… I don't wanna hold onto them anymore." So Mello got up from the bed and walked over to the closet to pull his suitcase from the back, taking the pack and a half Matt still had left out and returning the suitcase to the closet. He turned back to Matt, not sure how he wanted to do this.

Matt sat his laptop down on the nightstand, pushing a couple things out of the way to make room for it, and slid off the bed. He took the two packs from Mello and walked determinately from the room. Mello followed behind him silently as he headed to the kitchen, stopping to stand in front of the garbage can.

Mello watched as Matt sat the unopened pack down on the counter and took a cigarette from the opened one. He looked down at it, inspecting it, rolling it between his fingers, and Mello could only imagine what he was thinking. It appeared that he was having a hard time letting go of it, and Mello took a step closer, reaching out to place a comforting hand on Matt's shoulder, but as he did so, the cigarette was broke in half and dropped into the trash can. A smile slowly grew on Matt's face; he looked proud of himself.

He took another, breaking it in half, repeating the process, making quick work of what was left of the pack before dropping it into garbage can as well. He looked over at Mello who gave him a gentle smile, encouraging him to go on.

Matt picked the other pack up from the counter, removing the plastic wrapping and starting on it much as he'd done the first pack. "Y'know," he said, watching his hands as they destroyed each cigarette one by one, no longer enabling his addiction but inhibiting it, "I'd like it if you came with me when I go back home for Tegan's birthday."

"…I, uh…" Mello tried, not having expected that. All his concerns from earlier came rushing back as he struggled to come up with a response. But he didn't have to.

"You don't hafta let me know right away. I get it if you don't want to or think it's too soon to be makin' plans like that or whatever. I just wanted to let you know and put the offer out there."

"Um… When is Tegan's birthday exactly?" he asked, wondering just how far in advance this was.

"October 14th. But I don't plan on breakin' up with you in the next two and a half months. I…" he started, looking up from his hands to Mello, pausing in his task. "I love you, Mels."

"You…do?" Even though those words had been the primary focus of the majority of his thoughts since the day before when Matt had accidentally let them out, they still came as a surprise to him. He'd thought that after Matt had retracted them, he'd have a while to figure out his own feelings before they were put out there again. And although Mello figured that was hardly the response Matt had been looking for, he let out a laugh and went back to his chore.

"Yeah, of course I do," he said lightly. "I wouldn't have had you meet Tegan if I didn't." He glanced over at Mello again, a small smile on his lips. "You don't hafta say anythin' if you're not ready or whatever."

"You're not gonna take it back again like you did yesterday?" he asked jokingly, trying to stall, using the extra couple seconds to frantically try to figure out how he wanted to handle this. Matt had given him an out; he didn't have to say it back right away. And he'd only just decided that he might actually be in love with Matt—he still didn't know that he was completely certain in those feelings.

But hadn't he been certain earlier? He remembered thinking that he would do anything for Matt because he loved him. At that point he'd _known_ that he was in love and that hadn't really changed since then. The only thing that was different was that he felt like he was being put on the spot, and it was unnerving. He hadn't been expecting those words again so soon, but now that they had been put out there…

"Nope, not gonna take it back." Matt crushed the now empty pack between his palms and turned it over in his hands, pressing them together again. He let it fall in after the others, now reduced to a crumpled heap.

"Good," Mello said simply, and Matt turned to him, a confused expression on his face. "Because I love you too," he smiled, stepping forward to pull Matt into an embrace. "And I'd love to go to Boston with you."

"You would?" Matt asked, pulling back to look at Mello, sounding surprised.

"Of course. Why wouldn't I?"

"Well… You know Tegan's gonna be there right?" he said with a laugh.

"Yeah… So?"

"So you only said about two words the entire time we were talkin' to her."

"Oh…right…" He could feel his cheeks start to grow warm. "I didn't know what to say…"

"Anythin'. Just talk to her like you talk to me," Matt shrugged and then seemed to consider it. "Okay, well, maybe not _exactly_ like you talk to me… But it's really not a big deal. You could've said anythin', and she still would've liked you for helpin' me quit smokin'."

Mello gave him a skeptical look in return. Once Matt had told Tegan that, it had seemed to give Mello a free pass, but he still doubted it made her appreciation for what he'd done unconditional.

"Really. You'll see, once you get to know her a little better, it'll be easier."

"Yeah…" He hoped it would. Because even though she'd given them her 'permission,' he still felt like he was on a probation period. When he actually met her in person, that would be the true test.

"It's fine. Calm down," Matt said gently and leaned in to kiss Mello softly. "Don't worry about it." Mello nodded, but Matt didn't seem to buy it. "What's wrong?" he asked. "Ahre you really that worried about somethin'?"

"I'm fine. It's nothing…"

"Mels, I though you said you'd tell me if somethin' was wrong," Matt sighed. "I can't know if you don't tell me."

"I just… What if Tegan _doesn't _like me?"

"You're worried a seven-year-old doesn't approve of you?" he asked as if it was the most ridiculous notion. "Besides, she said she did, so you don't have to worry about it."

"But what if we get there and she doesn't. And then I have to meet your parents…"

"I'm sure she'll love you. And you don't have to worry about my parents. I don't give a fuck what they think." Mello knew what Matt had said was supposed to be comforting, but what he heard was 'My parents probably aren't going to approve, but I'm not going to care.' He did suppose that counted for something. As long as he had Matt on his side, he could get through the couple days they would be there. "Besides, we still have a couple months to figure things out," Matt smiled. "No need to freak out about it right away."

"Yeah," Mello sighed and leaned forward to kiss him. Matt was right. Mello wanted to go back home with Matt to see where he'd grown up, so he'd have to deal with whatever came with that. Besides, he was the one who was supposed to be comforting Matt, helping get through the withdrawal, not the other way around.

He wanted to ask Matt how he was doing, but he didn't want to bring it up and remind him if the withdrawal wasn't that bad at the moment. But as it turned out, he didn't get the chance to anyway.

"Besides," Matt whispered suggestively, pushing Mello's hair out of the way, his lips against his ear, "there's plenty of things we could do in the meantime." His hand drifted lower down Mello's back stopping when it reached his ass, pulling his hips closer against his own.

"Really?" Mello asked, surprised. Not that he didn't want to. He just hadn't expected anything like this after Matt had seemed so reluctant to do anything the night before. Of course, Mello knew that the withdrawal had been pretty bad from the way Matt had been begging him to give him a cigarette.

"Mmhmm," Matt groaned against his neck, sucking at the spot just behind his jaw, under his ear.

"What about last night?" Mello panted lightly, his body already starting to respond to Matt's touch.

"What about it?" Matt said, leaning up slightly to nip at Mello's earlobe.

"Never mind. It doesn't matter," he said eagerly. Clearly Matt was fine with it, so he shouldn't worry.

"Good," Matt smirked, pulling away only to crush his lips to Mello's. It was forceful, almost violent, the way Matt kissed him. It was desperate and searching. And two seconds later, Mello's back was pressed up against the refrigerator, Matt's growing erection grinding into his own as his tongue moved against Mello's, thoroughly dominating for once.

He pulled back, tugging on Mello's lower lip with his teeth. "C'mon," he said, panting heavily, taking hold of Mello's wrist and dragging him out of the kitchen and towards the bedroom.

Mello was a bit taken aback by the way Matt was acting; he'd never seen him so aggressive before. He wasn't sure exactly what had brought it on, but it didn't really matter. Because he kind of liked it.

He followed Matt to the bedroom where he found himself suddenly pushed down onto the bed. He looked up at Matt, who was already tearing his shirt off over his head, from where he sat and started unbuttoning his own shirt.

Matt smirked down at him, seeing the questioning look on Mello's face, and moved forward to kneel on the bed, straddling Mello's hips, undoing the last two buttons for him. He slipped the shirt off over Mello's shoulders and tossed it to the floor next to his own.

Matt pulled him closer, a hand at his back, the other in his hair, his fingernails grazing Mello's scalp as his fingers tangled in the blond strands. His lips worked against Mello's, his tongue slipping between them.

Mello's hands were on Matt's waist, his fingers pressing into his hips. He pushed back, his tongue searching Matt's mouth, holding his own against him, not allowing Matt to dominate.

But when Matt broke away, gasping for air, Mello pushed him away to the spot on the bed next to him, using the opening to attempt to switch their positions. But it wouldn't be so easy this time. For the first time, Matt seemed adamant about staying where he was. He leaned further down onto Mello, his hands on the blond's shoulders, pushing him to lay back. "Mello," he warned, as stern expression on his face. "No."

Mello raised an eyebrow at him, a grin spreading across his face. Why couldn't have Matt been like this before? This is what he'd been looking for. He liked the challenge.

He reached up to undo Matt's belt, biding his time until he'd have a better opportunity to get Matt under him. With the belt out of the way, he pulled the zipper down, slowly, teasingly, but evidently not fast enough for Matt. He sat up, pushing Mello's hands out of the way, and did it himself. He slipped off the bed momentarily to slide his jeans, along with his boxers, down to pool on the floor, exposing his growing erection.

Mello felt his sex twitch at the sight of Matt standing there in front of him, completely naked. His hands immediately moved down to his own belt, fumbling to remove it, needing to free his own cock. As soon as he managed to undo his belt, Matt's hands were at the front of Mello's pants, unzipping them for him, popping the button out of its hole, and pulling them down over his hips and past his thighs.

Mello quickly kicked them off, hearing his belt buckle hit the hardwood floor with a clink, and Matt was already yanking his boxers down too, pulling them down to Mello's knees and letting them fall off the rest of the way. He took Mello's cock into his hand, squeezing it gently as he slowly moved up it, leaning forward to kneel on the bed again.

Mello was struggling to concentrate on finding a way to flip their positions; a part of him just wanted to give in and let Matt top for once, but he couldn't let him win that easily. But with one of Matt's knees pressing into his crotch as he leaned down over the blond, Mello saw the opportunity he had been looking for. He hadn't been able to try it when Matt had been straddling his hips, but with just one of Matt's legs in between his own, he quickly hooked a leg around Matt's waist and tried to roll them over.

But Matt must have been expecting him to try something of the sort because he braced himself, preventing Mello's success. He shook his head, smirking down at Mello. Matt ran his hands along Mello's arms starting at his shoulders, pulling them up to meet above the blond's head, pinning his wrists down with one hand, using his other arm to brace himself as he leaned down closer. "Not today," he whispered against Mello's lips and closed the remaining distance, smashing his lips to Mello's.

Matt had always been so quick to give in before. But now… Now Matt was above him, pinning him to the bed. Now, Matt was being aggressive, forceful, demanding. And Mello loved it.

Matt pulled back slightly to look at Mello. "Stay," he panted out, his warm breath ghosting over Mello's lips.

He didn't respond, but rather, Mello smirked up at him, willingly ceding whatever power he could have had, and spread his legs.

A lustful grin formed across Matt's face as he leaned up, cautiously releasing Mello's wrists. His eyes raked across Mello's body, taking in the sight before him until he suddenly moved downwards, and his lips were around Mello's cock.

Mello's mouth dropped open in a silent moan, his eyes fluttering closed, and his back arching as Matt's head bobbed. The tip his tongue running along the underside of Mello's shaft as he slowly pulled back, teasing him, until he moved down again, faster this time, going a little lower. Mello's hand clutched at the sheets, the other finding its way to the back of Matt's head. He pushed down slightly, instructing Matt to go further, his lips finally touching the base, and Mello let out a groan, wanting more.

But Matt pulled back, releasing Mello's erection, and moved to the edge of the bed. Mello sat up to find him rifling through the drawer of the nightstand, knowing exactly what he was looking for. He finally found the bottle and returned to Mello, squirting some lube into his palm and working it over his cock, precum already dripping from the tip.

He crawled across the bed, back over to where Mello was waiting, and started to position himself at Mello's entrance, ready to push in. "Matt," he said firmly, sitting up slightly to look down at the redhead with a mixture of shock and disbelief.

"Oh, right…" Matt panted out, seeming disappointed, and pulled away.

Mello let his head fall back against the sheets, staring up at the ceiling. Maybe he'd made a mistake. Maybe he shouldn't have let Matt win. He knew he was stronger than Matt; he could have topped had he really wanted to.

He was already apprehensive about allowing Matt the dominant position as it was—he'd only ever been bottom once before, with his last boyfriend, and it had hardly been a pleasurable experience for him—and now Matt hadn't even thought to take the extra couple minutes to prepare him? He'd _always_ made sure to try to prepare Matt, to try to make sure it didn't have to be any more painful than it had to be, and Matt hadn't even _thought_ to return the favor.

But then Matt was spreading Mello's legs further apart, pulling his hips up towards him. He pressed a slick, lube coated finger in, moving it around as he continued up to the knuckle before removing it to add a second digit alongside it. He worked against the muscles involuntarily constricting around them, trying to loosen them.

Even so, Mello was starting to once again feel more at ease with the idea of Matt being on top this time. At least, until a third finger was added, and he winced from the discomfort.

"Sorry…" Matt mumbled, grabbing hold of Mello's cock with his free hand and roughly pumping it a few times as if to make up for it.

"It's…fine." He tried to focus on the sensation of Matt's hand sliding over the skin of his shaft instead, wishing he would just hurry up and get on with it rather than apologizing.

Matt leaned down to lick the precum forming at the tip of Mello's penis as he slid his fingers out before repositioning, hesitating before finally pushing in. Mello grimaced from the pain as the head of Matt's dick popped past the tight ring of muscle.

He started slow, readjusting once to get at a better angle, and leaned down over Mello, holding himself up on his forearm while his other hand slipped under the blond, lifting his hips higher. But as Matt began to pick up speed, trusting in with greater force, Mello forgot about whatever pain he'd felt initially.

He drew his knees back, pulling them to his sides to allow Matt better access, his hands clutching at them when they felt weak, like they wouldn't stay on their own. He was aware of the way Matt was kissing his neck, moving lower to his chest, but only barely so, it being overshadowed by the sensation of Matt thrusting into him, penetrating deeper until his hips were pounding against Mello's ass.

He moaned out, the back of his head pressing into the mattress as he arched his back. He felt near the edge but tried to hold back, not wanting it to stop. His breath was coming in short, uneven gasps as he struggled to hold on. "Nngh… Oh God… Matt," he called out, a hand risking abandoning his knee to grab Matt's ass.

Matt's trusts were becoming erratic, desperate, his breathing heavy. And drawing in a ragged gasp, Mello felt Matt release inside of him, filling him, the sensation finally pushing him over the edge, his own liquid spilling between them. With one last weak thrust, Matt pulled out, rolling over to lie next to Mello, his breathing gradually slowing.

But when Mello reached for him, trying to draw him closer, Matt suddenly sat up, his elbows on his knees, placing his head in his hands. "Matt, what's wrong?" he asked, concerned.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled into his hands. Mello let out a sigh. He didn't want Matt's apology; he just wanted him to lay back down with him so he could enjoy the moment without any sort of complications.

"It's okay," he said, sitting up and wrapping his arms around Matt's waist, resting his chin on his shoulder. "It doesn't matter. You were great," he mumbled into Matt's shoulder, leaning over to kiss his neck, assuming he was still apologizing for any pain he'd caused Mello. "Actually…I was thinking maybe we should do this more often." Because as hesitant as he'd been to begin with, he'd actually really enjoyed it, and it made him feel closer to Matt. Any discomfort had certainly been worth it.

"Really? I thought you didn't want to… I didn't mean to be so…demandin'… I just thought it would be a better distraction if I…" he trailed off, stumbling over his words, and Mello finally understood what had brought this on.

"You were using sex…as a distraction from smoking?"

"Yeah…I'm sorry. I-" he started, but Mello didn't let him finish.

"Matt, stop apologizing. Really. I don't mind. Please use me for sex any time you want," he said with a small laugh. "Especially if you're gonna act like _that_."

"You mean…?" Matt said, turning to look over his shoulder at Mello.

"Yeah. I like this more aggressive Matt. Where was he before?" he said, giving him a suggestive little grin. He certainly wasn't going to let Matt top every time, but he still liked the challenge; it made it more exciting for him.

"I-I didn't realize you wanted me to be." A light blush came to Matt's cheeks, a smile coming to his lips. But Mello saw it falter, and Matt immediately leaned forward to take the pack of nicotine gum from the nightstand, popping a piece into his mouth.

He didn't respond, instead pulling Matt closer, knowing it must be hard for him, hoping it helped if only a little. "It'll get easier," he whispered against Matt's ear.

Matt nodded, turning to look back at Mello. "I hope so…"

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** And then _all of that_ happened… So this chapter turned out much longer than I thought it would. Plus it inspired an idea for an epilogue which I was previously not planning on having. If this story doesn't end up getting deleted by the all-powerful admins in their attempt to 'cleanse' the site, it might actually end up hitting thirty chapters.

On a side note, including a sex scene in this chapter despite all this mess about the admins making sure people follow the 'rules' and such is not some sort of death wish. It's something I've been planning on including in this chapter for a while now, so I decided to just go ahead with it. I'm not going to alter my stories until I know they're actually in danger of being deleted, and I don't see this as any different.

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>DarkAngelJudas, Lotta Devon, Don't Forget Hope, sad1st1c m1stress, Evidence Of Rain, brightnight003, kiki1070, NessaYume, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, teB360, Mahri, samiekins17


	19. Chapter 18: Lyrics

Matt: Sol Invictus by Alximo  
>Mello: What's It Feel Like To Be A Ghost? by Taking Back Sunday<p>

**Chapter 18: Lyrics**

Mello jogged up the stairs, panting heavily as he made his way back up to the apartment. He'd made the mistake of thinking he could go for a run outside in the middle of the day in late July; he'd never do that again. Sure, it was cooler out than it had been in weeks, but apparently not enough so.

He wished he would have went out that morning before work like he normally did rather than deciding he was too tired to get up so early. Or at the very least, just ran on one of the treadmills in the building's Fitness Center when he'd gotten back from work. He preferred running outside where he could actually see his progress as he traveled past the buildings instead of putting forth the effort but not actually going anywhere on a treadmill, but that would have been better than the heat he'd had to endure.

He started on the last flight of stairs, wishing he would have opted for the elevator instead. He felt tired and sticky and disgusting, wanting nothing more than to wash it all away in the shower. For once, he was looking forward to just being able to sit around the apartment while Matt worked on his music, maybe get through a couple more chapters of the book he was reading. Matt had to be home by now—he might even be at his computer already, busy working on one of his songs. And even if he was close to being done, Mello was sure Matt wouldn't mind putting in a couple more hours than he'd originally planned.

Matt had made a schedule for himself that involved him working on his music for two hours a day; he said that should give him plenty of time to finish his album in the next three weeks by the release date. Mello wasn't sure if Matt had intended it to keep himself busy so he didn't have time to think about smoking or if the two hour guideline was supposed to stop him from obsessing over his music. Either way, it seemed to be working.

Three days since Matt had quit and Mello was starting to see definite improvement. Matt still got cravings, and Mello could tell it was still difficult for him, but it did seem to be getting easier, if only slightly so. He was so proud of Matt, seeing how much he had accomplished, not just with quitting but with his music as well.

Although Matt had only made his schedule the morning before, having some sort of structure to his plans for completing his album did seem to be helping his progress. More importantly to Mello, Matt seemed less stressed about it. Unless any concern about the deadline for his album had simply been overshadowed by something else.

Matt had been on edge the day before, waiting for a call from his parents that had never ended up coming. He'd been certain what he'd said to Tegan and Carmen would have inevitably made its way back to his parents, triggering a less than welcome conversation, but no such conversation ever came. His apprehension and sudden obsession with checking his cell phone every ten minutes had turned out to be for nothing.

Mello was relieved to finally find himself in front of the door to his and Matt's apartment. A glass of water, a shower, and then he just could sit back and relax. Vowing never to run outside again, he turned the handle and leaned into the door, pushing it open to reveal Matt pacing around the room, his cell phone pressed to his ear. Maybe his concern hadn't been unwarranted.

"Mum, it's _fine_," Matt gritted out, turning to see Mello standing in the doorway who raised his hand in an uncertain greeting. Matt returned the gesture, his eyes looking over Mello's bare chest and abs, a small grin appearing on his face. Mello only rolled his eyes, pulling the tank top he'd been wearing out of his pocket where he'd stuffed it when it became too unbearably hot to keep on, and threw it at Matt. He stepped out of the way, skillfully evading it, a smirk on his face.

But then he seemed to remember that he was supposed to be on the phone. "What?" he said, his smile fading, listening to the voice on the other end. "Yeah, of course I'm listenin'," he said, actually sounding offended this time, and Mello chuckled quietly to himself as he kicked off his shoes by the door. Yeah. Right. _Of course_ Matt was listening.

He made his way to the kitchen, listening to Matt's end of the conversation with amusement. "Yes, I'm takin' this seriously," Matt insisted, though Mello doubted that very much. "Yeah… No, I… I _know_, mum."

Mello grabbed a glass out of the cupboard and filled it with water, gulping down about half of it before he filled it again, taking it with him to lean against the doorframe in the threshold to the living room. He watched as Matt continued his pacing, giving vague replies to whatever it was that he mother was saying to him. At least until Matt came to an abrupt halt, his face turning a bright red. "Mum! I'm not havin' this conversation with you!"

Mello unsuccessfully tried to stifle a laugh, attempting to hide it by taking a sip of water. Matt glanced over at him, a look of absolute embarrassment on his face, and quickly looked away. "I got it, mum. Please stop," he pleaded. "…I dunno. _Anythin'_ else." Mello watched as Matt's expression slowly changed from one of disgust to something much more serious. "Yeah. I, uh, did… Three days now…" he said quietly, but his voice quickly turned harsh. "Whadya mean 'hmm'? I'm _not_ gonna stahrt again, okay?… Yes, _really_… Yeah, I _know_ I shouldn't've stahrted to begin with… Mum, I don't need you to lecture me on this. I quit, remember?" But by the way Matt let out a sigh and shot Mello a look that clearly said 'I told you so,' it didn't seem to matter.

Mello gave him an apologetic look, and Matt shrugged in return, holding the phone away from his ear slightly. He ran a hand over his face, leaning back against the couch. "Yes, I understand," he sighed and then paused, an expression that Mello couldn't quite place coming over him, like he wasn't sure if he wanted to be happy or angry. "Is that a bad thing?" he demanded. "…I wouldn't've told Tegan if I wasn't serious about this… Yeah. Right. '_We'll see_,'" he rolled his eyes.

His water finished, Mello no longer had any reason to stand there. He turned to place the empty glass on the counter, wondering if maybe he'd overstayed his welcome as it was. To start, it had been kind of entertaining to listen to Matt's conversation with his mother—or at least Matt's end of it—and it hadn't seemed that the redhead had minded. Now, however, he felt more like he was intruding on something private.

Deciding it was better to give Matt his privacy, he started across the living room, heading for the bathroom to take a shower. At least, until he heard his name and immediately stopped in his tracks. "His name's Mello, mum, not '_that guy_,'" Matt grumbled, sounding frustrated by the conversation. "And yes, he's comin' with me in October," he added, glancing up at Mello with a smile. "Yeah, I guess we ahre pretty serious," he said into the phone, a light blush appearing on his cheeks. Mello couldn't help but smile; it was nice to hear Matt say those words.

He started for the bathroom again, leaving Matt to finish his call, but the second he moved from where he was standing, Matt shot him a questioning look, as if to ask where he was going. 'Shower,' Mello mouthed, and a suggestive little smirk appeared on Matt's face.

'With me?' he mouthed back, pointing to himself with his free hand.

Mello shrugged, his grin widening. 'Sure,' he nodded, and Matt held up his index finger to tell him to wait a minute.

"Huh?… Oh, yeah, sure. Hey, mum, I hafta go," he said quickly, but the grin he wore was suddenly gone. "Right now?… Wait, no. I don't… Hi, dad," he sighed, and then placed a hand over the transmitter of his phone, looking to Mello. "It's fine. Just go. I might be a while," he grumbled.

"You sure?" he asked, disappointed.

"Yeah," Matt sighed and returned to his call. "Yes, dad. Why does everybody always think I don't pay attention?" he said, sounding annoyed, which left Mello snickering as he finally made his way out of the room.

He stopped by the bedroom, fishing his iPod and cell phone out of his pocket and tossing them to the bed. As soon as he turned to leave, however, his phone chimed, letting him know he had a text. He walked back over to where it had landed on the black comforter and picked it up, opening the new message from Misa. 'OMG! got another modeling job!' he read, a smile coming to his lips.

'That's great! For what?' he typed back and hit send, laying his phone back down on the bed, heading for the bathroom. Chances were he'd have to wait ten or twenty minutes for a response back—for a reason Mello didn't really understand, it always took Misa forever to text back. Not that it mattered this time; he'd just check his phone again when he got out of the shower.

He went to close the door but hesitated, deciding to leave it open a crack as an invitation in the case that Matt got off the phone sooner than he'd seemed to think he would and quickly undressed, dropping his clothes into the hamper. He pulled his hair out of the ponytail, leaving the hair tie on the edge of the sink, and pushed the Super Mario Bros. shower curtain out of the way to turn the water on. He still thought it ridiculous and didn't know why they couldn't have a nice simple, solid colored shower curtain like normal people, but he'd gotten used to it. If it made Matt happy, he didn't really mind. Besides, Matt was by no means a 'normal' person, and Mello preferred him that way, quirkiness and all.

Mello stuck his hand under the stream of water, testing it before he stepped into the shower, enjoying the feeling of it flowing over his skin, rinsing away the sweat from his run. He stuck his head under the stream of water raining down, letting it saturate his hair before pulling back and wiping it away from his eyes, starting to hum quietly to a song he'd been listening to on his way back to the apartment.

He went through his shower routine slowly, partially because he was hoping Matt might finish his phone call soon and come to join him and partially because there was simply no reason to rush. He had nothing planned for rest of the day, so why bother to hurry when the warm water washing over his skin was so relaxing?

Somewhere along the way, his humming turned to singing, but when he realized this, he stopped abruptly. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd sung. It wasn't that he didn't like to, rather, he really enjoyed singing; however, he didn't like doing so anytime someone might overhear him, which made for very few opportunities.

He stood there, frozen in place, listening to make sure he didn't hear Matt outside the door, but the only thing he could hear was the running water. He didn't think he'd been singing very loudly; hopefully Matt hadn't been able to hear him over the sound of the shower. If only he'd just shut the door…that should've blocked it out for sure…

Mello turned the water off, having been done for a while already anyway, and peaked out around the shower curtain. He half expected Matt to be standing there, ready to make a comment about his lackluster singing abilities; instead, the empty room stared back at him.

He grabbed a bath towel from the wrack next to the shower, drying off before he wrapped it around his waist to make the short trip from the bathroom to the bedroom, all the way telling himself that it didn't matter because no one had heard him. By the time he was standing in front of the dresser, deciding an old tee-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts were sufficient to lounge around the apartment for the rest of the day, he'd almost convinced himself of that.

"Hey," he heard behind him as he pulled the shirt down over his head, and his heart skipped a beat, his fear coming back.

"H-hey," Mello returned, turning to see Matt flop down on the bed and lay back, draping his arm over his eyes, and he was instantly relieved, figuring Matt was still preoccupied with the call he'd received from his parents. "That bad, huh?"

"Well, y'know, it was…fine…I guess…" he grumbled. "Until my mum wanted to make sure that we're, uh…bein' _safe_… That was a fun pahrt of the conversation…made me wanna cut my ear off. Let's see, what else," he continued with mock enthusiasm. "Of course neither of 'em seemed to think I was gonna be able to quit smokin' for very long, not that I expected they would… But," he said, removing his arm from over his eyes and tilting his head back a bit further to look at Mello upside down, "I _did_ get a nice 'Good job, son' from my dad. Too bad he had to ruin it by followin' it up with 'We'll see how long you can keep it up for this time.' But hey, I'll take what I can get, I guess. Especially since after that, he wanted to ask how I was doin' with my music, which would've been fine if I'd been talkin' to _anyone_ else. With him, it always seems to lead back to 'When ahre you goin' to forget about this music nonsense and stahrt focusin' on a _real_ career?' So, y'know, that call—_hahrdly_ the highlight of my life."

"At least it's over now," Mello said gently, trying to give Matt a positive way to look at things. He finished brushing his damp hair and sat his hairbrush back down on the dresser, going to sit on the bed next to Matt.

"Yeah…" he sighed. "I just… I'm kinda _dreadin'_ goin' back home in October. I mean, I can't wait to see Tegan, but…"

"But it would be nice if you could visit Tegan without having to visit your parents?" Mello offered.

"Basically," Matt said, looking up Mello from where he lay with a melancholy expression. But it disappeared from his features to be replaced by a look of shock when Mello's phone chimed from where it still lay on the bed, right next to Matt's head. He picked it up, flipping it open and scanning the text. "Misa says the modelin' job is for another make-up ad and wants to know if we wanna do a celebration thing after like we did last time," Matt paraphrased and looked to Mello for a response.

"Sure," he shrugged, a smile forming on his lips. "The last one seemed to work out pretty well." As much as he had initially hated Takada suggesting he and Matt move in together, he really was grateful that she had.

Matt let out an amused little snort. "Yeah…" he mused, typing out a response to Misa's text and flipping the phone shut. "I guess it did," he said, dropping the cell phone back on the bed as he sat up, taking Mello's hand, and leaned over to kiss him softly. "Besides," he added, "she didn't say when the photo shoot is. Maybe by then, I'll have my album done, and we'll have another thing to celebrate."

"Do you think you'll have it done soon, then?"

"Well…I thought I had it all figured out, but… today, I thought of somethin'…new, and I was wonderin'…and it's fine if you don't wanna do it, but…" he started, suddenly hesitant, but then went with a different approach. "Y'know how I wanna have like eleven or twelve songs on my album, and I have eight of 'em _basically_ done?"

"Yeah…" Mello said slowly, reluctant to hear Matt finish. He had to be wrong; Matt couldn't be suggesting what he thought he was suggesting…

"Well…I was thinkin'…what if I laid a vocal track over one of my songs? And, I mean, you've heard me sing. No one wants to listen to that… So… and like I said, it's okay if you say no…but maybe-"

"No," Mello said immediately, sincerely hoping that this was just some off the wall idea Matt had conjured up and not the product of him hearing Mello sing in the shower.

"Mels, you…you didn't even give me a chance to finish," he said, sounding a bit taken aback.

"You were gonna ask if I would do the vocal track thing, right?"

"Yeah, but-"

"You said it was fine if I said no, so… No, I can't."

"Whadya mean, you _can't_? I heard you. Believe me. You _can_ sing," Matt insisted, sounding almost amazed, if not a little jealous.

"You…heard me?" he breathed out. It felt like his cheeks were on fire.

"Yeah, just now, while you were in the shower," he said, for some unfathomable reason, actually sounding excited about it. "I dunno why I've never heard you sing before; you're pretty fuckin' good. I mean, seriously, you can write, you can sing—d'you have any other secret talents I don't know about?"

"I don't… Are you being serious?" he asked hesitantly, searching Matt's face for something which might betray him, but all he found was sincere amazement.

"Yeah… Why can't you ever just…believe me?" Matt asked gently, sounding almost disappointed. "You have all these great talents, and you're the only one who can't see it."

He looked down away from Matt. He didn't want to disappoint him, but the idea of people actually hearing him sing left his stomach in knots.

Some of his earliest memories were of singing in the children's choir at church; he'd absolutely loved it. But now… now he couldn't imagine ever doing something like that. He didn't know what exactly had changed from the time he'd sung in the choir—although he supposed a lot of things had changed since then. But if he'd loved it so much, why had he quit? He couldn't remember exactly, but he did know that of the four divisions of the children's choir, based on age, he'd only ever joined the youngest division for three to five-year-olds.

But none of that mattered. Whatever had happened in the past didn't change the fact that he felt like he'd be letting Matt down if he didn't do this for him. Matt had done so much for him; he deserved to have Mello at least _try_.

"Sorry I didn't believe you right away," he said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood, "but you're hardly a singing expert."

"True," Matt admitted, letting out a laugh, "but just 'cause I can't sing worth shit doesn't mean I can't tell when someone else has a beautiful voice." Mello could feel himself start to blush again. Now Matt was just being ridiculous; even if Mello went along with the presumption that his singing wasn't as bad as he'd thought it was, his voice was hardly beautiful. "So…" Matt started cautiously, "d'you think maybe…you could just think about it?"

"Yeah," Mello sighed, and Matt's face lit up.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, as in you'll think about it, or yeah, as in…?" Matt asked, not daring to finish his question.

"Yeah, as in I'll…try," he said with a soft smile. He didn't understand why Matt wanted him to sing in one of his songs so badly; it made absolutely no sense to him. He had no training whatsoever and really wasn't even very good. But if Matt wanted him to do this, he would try, and he would do his absolute best.

"Really?" Matt said; he sounded positively ecstatic.

"Yeah…absolutely," Mello said, trying to figure out how to sound happy about it.

"Awesome," Matt exclaimed, jumping up from the bed and heading for the door, grabbing his laptop off the nightstand on his way.

"Where are you going?"

"I wanna get stahrted on this right away," he said excitedly, stopping at the door and looking back at Mello. "C'mon."

Mello hesitantly got up, clearly taking too long in Matt's opinion. He stood there, waiting for Mello impatiently. But when he finally caught up, Matt grabbed his hand and practically dragged him out to the living room.

"D'you think you could sing somethin' so I can get a better idea of your range and what would sound good with your voice?" Matt said, as he sat down on the couch and opened his computer in his lap, starting to pull up different windows for programs Mello only recognized as related to his music in some way.

"Uh…" Mello could feel his face burn. He hated this, being put on the spot like that.

Matt turned to look at Mello when he sat down next to him and must have noticed how uncomfortable he looked. "Or not…" Matt said, sounding surprised by how nervous Mello seemed. "Whatever makes you comfortable. We can figure that out later I guess." He looked back to the screen and started playing one of his songs, one that Mello hadn't heard before. "From what I heard, I'm thinkin' your voice might sound good with this one. When you sing, your voice has this sorta…" he paused, thinking about it, "this sorta rough edge to it, so if we play it up right, it could create a really cool contrast between the softer melody."

Mello listened to the song Matt had playing, a bit taken aback by the sound of it. Matt had let him listen to a couple of his songs a few days after the beach trip, and although Mello hadn't disliked them, he didn't particularly like them either. When Matt had asked him what he thought, he said they sounded good, which wasn't a lie. They did sound good, it was just that Mello didn't care for electronic music of any sort, Matt's particular brand of it included.

The three songs of Matt's that Mello had listened to before were fast, upbeat, dynamic… And while he could recognize certain aspects that had been present in Matt's other songs, this one was vastly different. The song Matt had playing now was much softer and more relaxed sounding with piano playing at the intro, and to his surprise, Mello actually liked it.

"Matt…this is really good," he breathed out and immediately saw Matt blush.

"Thanks…" he said. "It's, uh…actually something I wrote a while ago…for Tegan."

"Oh," was the only thing Mello could think to say, and Matt let out a small nervous laugh.

"Yeah… I wasn't gonna include it on my album…but I think with some vocals, it could really be somethin' special."

"Matt…I…I can't. I don't want to mess up your song…" He couldn't believe Matt would even want to let his voice anywhere near this song. If he'd written it for Tegan, it must have a lot of meaning behind it. Why would he want to change it in any way?

"You're not gonna mess it up…" Matt said gently. "We're gonna make it better. And if we can't figure out an arrangement that works with this song, we can use a different one. Or I could write a new one."

Mello could only stare at him. When did this become 'we'? It had always been _Matt's_ music, a solo act, something Mello couldn't even begin to understand. But now he found himself in the middle of it, and he didn't know that he wanted to be. "Why do you want me to do this?" he asked quietly.

"Well…I mean… I do really like your singin'. Your voice has this really…unique sound to it," he started, a smile coming to his lips. "But also…I was kinda thinkin' it might be cool to have a project to work on together. Like, we could write the lyrics together and stuff, and I mean, I've never written lyrics before, but we could figure it out. Plus, you're a good writer, so I'm sure that'll help."

"I…" he started, but he wasn't really sure where to go from there.

"I get it that you're nervous about people hearin' you sing and stuff—I'm nervous about people hearing my music too—so I understand if you don't want to… You can back out at any time…but-"

"Matt," he said, cutting him off. He didn't need to hear anymore. He knew what he had to do. "I'm not gonna back out. I…I want to do this with you." Matt was right. It would be amazing to have a project to work on together. And really, if either of them had reason to be nervous about it, it should be Matt, not him. Matt would be releasing an entire album of his original music; Mello only had to worry about a part of one song.

"Thank you," Matt said, leaning over to pull Mello into a hug, almost dropping his laptop from his knees in the process. But the song was over, and Matt seemed to have lost interest in the computer. "I love you," he told Mello and kissed him softly.

"I love you, too," he smiled over at Matt. And although it terrified him, he knew that if he was going to do this, he'd have to do it right. He took a deep breath and looked Matt in the eye. "Okay. What do you want me to sing?"

"Well, I'm not really sure… I never thought I'd put lyrics to any of my songs, so just throw out any ideas you have," Matt said, looking back down at his computer to scroll through his music files. "Or if you wanna listen to any of this and see if you get some sort of inspiration or whatever, we can always do a different song. The one I wrote for Tegan was just my first thought…"

"No, I mean…you said you wanted to hear me sing so you could get a better idea of what my voice might sound good with, so…what do you want me to sing?"

"Oh…I, uh, I don't care. Uh, what you were singin' earlier or somethin' else… Whatever's fine."

"Can I at least…sing _with_ a song…like while it's playing…"

"If it makes you more comfortable, sure. Go get your computer, and you can pick anythin' you want."

"Because you don't have any _good music_ on yours?" Mello asked jokingly, trying to distract himself from what he was about to do.

"Oh, I have _plenty_ of good music on my laptop. I even shared some of it with you, remember? I made you that playlist," he retorted, making it sound as if Mello should be in his debt for this great show of generosity.

"Right. Of course. Thank you _so_ much for showing me the light," he said sarcastically. "Maybe I need to make you a 'Good Music' playlist to return the favor."

"You should," Matt said, earnest this time. "I'd love that."

"Mkay then," he said, getting up and heading for the bedroom, his apprehension immediately returning. His entire body felt tense, and his insides felt like they were in knots. He couldn't believe he was willingly subjecting himself to this torture. But he had to. For Matt.

He returned to the living room, clutching the laptop to his side, and hesitantly moved to sit back down. He placed his computer on the piano bench, opening it, and leaning forward to press the power button. It was nerve-wracking, sitting there, knowing what he was about to do, and having to wait for the computer to start up. He wanted nothing more than to just get it over with, and his laptop wasn't being very helpful, seeming to take its time as it came back to life.

The desktop of his computer finally came up, and he opened iTunes, instantly searching for the song he'd been singing earlier. Technically, Matt had already heard it once, so Mello should have nothing to be nervous about, but that did nothing to change the fact that he still was.

He clicked on the song and got up, walking around to the back of the couch, facing away from Matt. "Whadya doin'?" he heard Matt ask and felt as his heart started beating even faster; Mello finally knew what it must have been like for Matt when he'd first let him listen to his music.

"I think it would be easier if I pretended you weren't in the room," he said quickly, listening as the song played through its intro. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. And he sang.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Matt's song for this chapter is the _closest_ thing I could find to what I imagine the song he wrote for Tegan to be like. It's hardly a perfect match for what I had in mind, but when I first heard it a couple days ago, I knew I had to include it for this chapter. Sadly, I don't produce my own electronic music (or really do anything music related besides sing semi-decently); if I did, I would have to create what I imagine Matt's song for Tegan to be like so you guys could hear it. I do, however, feel that this specific song fits the chapter better in tone than Matt's hypothetical song would, so I suppose it's kind of a give and take in that sense.

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>sad1st1c m1stress, DarkAngelJudas, CatatonicVanity, Don't Forget Hope, brightnight003, spiritfoxxx821, teB360, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, kiki1070, NessaYume, Lotta Devon, WammyHouseWhore, Mahri, strangelove13, Beloved Little Bit, Evidence Of Rain


	20. Chapter 19: Progress

**Author's Note: **First of all, I'm so sorry it's been over a month since I last updated this story. I'll explain in my author's note at the end of the chapter, but there is one thing that I'd like to quickly mention first. Matt's song for this chapter is by a guy on youtube who does "a capella dubstep." "Caught Off Guard" is the actual title of the song, but the title of the video on youtube is "175bpm A Capella and Some Bass Voices." You can search it using either title, and it should be the first thing that comes up.

* * *

><p>Mello: The Dirt Whispered by Rise Against<br>Matt: Caught Off Guard by AaronicStuff

**Chapter 19: Progress**

"Matt, come on. We need to start setting up. They're gonna be here soon," Mello said, his arms crossed over his chest, looking down at Matt who was sitting on the couch, his computer in his lap and his feet propped up on the piano bench.

"Whadya mean? Whadda we need to set up?" he mumbled, not bothering to look up from the screen.

"Matt, where exactly do you think people are gonna eat?" he asked flatly.

"In here?"

"The couch can only fit three people, and there's no place to put the food."

"Kitchen?"

"Only two chairs at the table, remember?"

"I dunno. Just give me a second to finish this, and we can figure somethin' out," Matt grumbled, sounding frustrated.

"You can finish later," Mello said, pulling the piano bench out from under Matt's feet and grabbing his ankles, giving them a yank, hoping it would encourage him to get up. The only thing he accomplished, however, was to make Matt slouch down into the couch further.

"I'm almost done. One second," Matt insisted, and Mello dropped his ankles, giving up. He flopped down on the couch next to Matt and leaned over to peek at the computer screen, trying to see what it was that he was working on, but Matt turned it away from him. "Wait until it's done," he chided gently.

"Fine," Mello sighed, resting his head against the back of the couch.

"Just some finishin' touches…" And with a few more clicks to the mouse pad, Matt turned the laptop around to face Mello. "Walla!" he exclaimed upon revealing it.

"I think it's 'voilà.' Y'know…with a 'v,'" Mello mused, looking over the image on the screen.

"Whatever. I don't speak German."

"French," Mello corrected, glancing up from the computer at Matt with a teasing smirk.

"Whatever. It doesn't matter. Just…whadya think of album cover," he said, sounding exasperated, dismissing what Mello had said and tapping the side of the laptop to bring his attention back to it.

"Well…" Mello started, looking back to the screen, thoroughly impressed that Matt had designed this all by himself. The front and back covers were displayed side by side, both having a background of horizontal black and white stripes. On the front appeared to be an exact replica of the green and pink hearts which adorned Matt's chest; the words 'Neon Hearts' were printed in black across one of the white stripes and 'J33VAS' in white on the black stripe directly below it. They had talked about the idea of using 'Neon Hearts' as the album title to connect it to the song Matt had written for Tegan, but he was surprised to see the combination of letters and numbers under it. "Is that your stage name or something?" he asked, pointing to it. He couldn't believe he'd never thought to ask Matt before. It was weird to think of Matt going by any other name, even his real name, Mail. Matt was Matt, and that was it.

"Yeah. That was the user name I had when I was like fourteen or fifteen and used to post on video game forums all the time. Once I got into music and DJin', I just carried it over," Matt shrugged but looked to Mello expectantly, still waiting for his opinion of the album art. "So…?"

"So…" Mello started, "I kinda love it."

A huge grin spread across Matt's face at those words. "Didya see track 12?" he asked excitedly, and Mello turned back to the computer, looking over the back cover this time. He scanned over the track list, stopping at the twelfth and final track which shared its name with the album. '12. Neon Hearts (ft. Mello)'

"I don't get a stage name?" Mello asked jokingly, raising an eyebrow at Matt.

"Oh…uh, didya want one? I can change it…if you want…" he offered, giving Mello an apologetic look.

"No, Matt. It's fine. I like it just the way it is," he said with a laugh. Even if he had wanted one, he wouldn't have even know where to start; it was a mystery to him how people came up with such things. Not that it mattered. It wasn't like he was going to become some great musical talent, so what did it matter what he was called on Matt's album?

He looked back down to the screen, returning to the back cover. Under the track list appeared a short dedication:  
>'Thanks to…<br>Tegan for being my inspiration, Mello for lending me your wonderful voice and for making me want to be a better man, and my listeners and supporters for helping me achieve my dream. I would be nothing without all of you. Thank you so much.'

Mello looked over at Matt to find him blushing lightly, appearing slightly embarrassed, and pulled the redhead into a somewhat clumsy embrace as he tried to keep the laptop balanced on his knees. "You're welcome," he smiled softly and placed a simple, chaste kiss on Matt's lips.

"Uh…so you like it then?" he said, his face flushing a deeper shade of red.

"I love it," Mello corrected. He leaned in again, his arm going around Matt's waist, this time kissing him more passionately, his lips moving over Matt's… Until his cell phone chimed, and he remembered that they were supposed to be having company.

He pulled back reluctantly and fished his phone out of his pocket. "Misa?" Matt asked, leaning over to try to look at the small screen.

"Yeah… She says they're gonna be a little late and that she has a 'surprise,'" he said, reading over the text.

"Is that a bad thing? You sound worried…"

"Well…Misa's surprises generally don't work out in my favor," he grumbled, remembering her last one. "If she brings me another pair of leather pants…" he said to himself, but Matt must have heard.

"Wait. Leather? What?" he said, sounding a bit too excited for Mello's liking.

"Yeah… The day I got here, not even five minutes into living with Misa, and she informs me we're going to a rave that night, says she has a surprise for me, and brings out this _awful_ leather outfit. Oh God…I can't believe I wore that…"

"So, um…where is this, uh, _leather outfit_ now?" Matt asked, looking at Mello innocently.

"Why? You're not into that kinda thing, are you?"

Matt shrugged, looking away. "Maybe…" But then it hit him, and Mello let out a laugh, Matt turning back to look at him with embarrassment. "What?" he asked defensively.

"Does Misa know?"

"Why the fuck does it matter if Misa knows?" Matt demanded, blushing wildly.

"Because she was trying to set us up together, and you were DJing that night," he explained and watched as Matt's confusion gave way to understanding.

"You're kiddin' me," he breathed out. "If I wouldda saw you…" Matt chuckled to himself, shaking his head in amazement. "If I wouldda saw you, I prob'ly wouldda jumped your bones right there."

"Really?" Mello asked incredulously. That didn't sound like the Matt he knew. Maybe if he walked in wearing leather now…but when he'd first met Matt, he'd been so shy around Mello.

"Okay, well…prob'ly not," he admitted, "but I wouldda _thought_ about it while I stared at you with a dorky grin on my face."

"Ah yes, I know the one," he said jokingly. "That look you get when you _think _you're being charming, but you're actually just making a fool out of yourself."

"C'mon. That's not fair," Matt said lightly.

"You know I'm right," he said, a smirk on his face, but then something crossed his mind: the reason why he hadn't gone up to Matt that night. "Hey, weren't you with some girl then? Uh…Light's sister…" he started, trying to remember what Misa had said her name was.

"Yeah, Sayu…but I was already startin' to think about breakin' up with her," he shrugged, playing it off as nonchalant, but there was something in Matt's voice that worried Mello. But Matt must have seen the look of concern on the blond's face. "I broke up with her before we stahrted datin', if that's what you're worried about," Matt reassured him. "I would never cheat on anyone."

"No, I…I didn't think that…" He knew that hadn't been the case; he could still remember how excited he had been when Misa had shown him Matt's change in relationship status on Facebook. But if that wasn't it, why did something in Matt's voice seem…off?

"Is somethin' wrong then?" Matt asked, and seeing the concern in his eyes, Mello decided that he had been reading too much into it and making himself see something that wasn't there to begin with.

"No, it's just…" he started, trying to remember why he'd brought it up in the first place. "Well…I, uh, I was going to talk to you that night, but when I saw you with her, I figured you were straight."

"Really? You were gonna come up and talk to me?"

"Yeah. Why do you sound so surprised?"

"I know you don't like electronic music; seems like you'd wanna run out of there with your hands over your ears, not stick around to hit on the DJ," Matt laughed.

"Hey, it's not my fault I have a thing for redheads," he said in mock defense.

"Oh really," Matt said suggestively. "You have a thing for _redheads_?" He ran a hand through his hair in a greatly overdramatized motion.

"You're doing it again," Mello laughed, and Matt gave him a confused look, immediately dropping the act.

"What?"

"Being a dork."

"Yeah. It's a thing I do sometimes. You know you love it."

"Oh definitely," Mello said, playing along. "Super sexy. I can barely keep my hands off you," he added sarcastically and watched as Matt unsuccessfully tried to keep a straight face.

"I try. I really try," he managed, it coming across as not quite sincere what with the way he was laughing. "You know you love me," he laid his head down on Mello's shoulder.

"Yeah…" he sighed, taking Matt's hand in his own. "I do… I absolutely do." He leaned over to kiss the top of Matt's head when his phone chimed again, and he begrudgingly shifted to pull it out of his pocket, doing his best to work around Matt so he wouldn't have to move. "Misa wants to know if we want anything special from that sushi place down the road from Starbucks," he said, reading over the text.

"Naw…whatever's fine," Matt said, sitting up and stretching before picking up his laptop and going to put it away while Mello typed out a quick response.

Mello returned his phone to his pocket and looked up at Matt in surprise when a blanket landed on the couch next to him. "What are you doing?" he asked, watching as Matt picked up the piano bench and sat it out of the way towards the edge of the room.

"Misa's gettin' Japanese food, right? And Japanese people like to eat on the floor, so…problem solved. Now we have enough space for everyone," he explained, trying to push the couch back while Mello was still on it with little success. "You wanna help me, Mels? Or ahre you just gonna sit there and weigh the couch down?" he asked jokingly, giving Mello a cheeky grin.

"What exactly are you implying, Matt?"

"Maybe if you laid off the chocolate-" he started gently, but Mello pushed him away with his foot.

"Maybe if you weren't so weak, you could move the couch back without my help," he countered, feigning offense. Perhaps he would have actually been offended had Matt been being serious, but Mello knew he wasn't. He was in better shape than Matt was, having at least some muscular definition against his skin; Matt, however, was about as thin as a telephone pole.

"Fine then. You try," he challenged, but as soon as Mello stood up, Matt hopped up on the couch, looking at him expectantly.

"Come on. We're gonna scratch the floor," he said, dropping the pretense and motioning for Matt to get up. He didn't want to leave a huge gash in their nice hardwood floors just to prove a point.

"You forfeit then? Okay. I win," Matt said, looking quite satisfied with himself. But Mello was suddenly on top of him, pinning Matt to the couch, kissing him roughly.

"You don't win until I say you can win," he smirked down at Matt before picking him up, forcibly removing him from the couch. He'd intended to set Matt down on the floor, slightly away from the couch so he couldn't jump back on before Mello got a chance to move it. But Matt's hand snaked down around Mello's back to his ribs, his fingertips frantically running along his side, tickling him, causing Mello to lose his grip and Matt to slip from his arms, falling to the floor with a loud crash. "Oh my God! I'm so sorry! Are you okay?" he asked, dropping to his knees next to where Matt had landed.

"Okay, okay, you win!" Matt laughed out, not bothering to answer Mello. "No more! I give up!"

"Idiot," Mello grumbled, shaking his head in disbelief, a smile showing through despite his best efforts.

"Yeah…prob'ly shouldn't've done that," Matt groaned, wincing as he slowly moved to get up.

"You think?" Mello said, looking at Matt with concern, it coming out a bit more harshly than he had intended. "Are you okay?" he tried again, afraid that he may have actually really hurt Matt.

"Yeah…I'm fine," he said, standing up and rubbing his lower back. "Prob'ly'll have a bruised ass tomorrow, but y'know, how is that different than any other day?" he shrugged, giving Mello a suggestive little smile.

"Just come here and help me with the couch," he said, letting out an amused snort. He got up and went to stand at one end of it, waiting for Matt to take the other end.

"Oh, so you need my help now?"

"I would like to move the couch without destroying the floor, so yes, I need your help to lift it," he said flatly, just wanting to be done with it. The stupid couch had already given them enough trouble for one day.

"You admit it then?" Matt smirked but moved to the other end of the couch nonetheless.

"Yeah, fine. If it makes you happy, I'll admit that I need your help," he rolled his eyes, and it was finally done with.

"That's all I ask." Matt grabbed the blanket from off the couch and unfolded it, spreading it over the open space they'd made in the middle of the living room when someone started pounding on the door.

"We're here!" Misa sang out through the door. Mello took a deep breath, bracing himself, before he opened the door, knowing exactly what was coming.

"Hi," he managed to get out, greeting Misa and Takada, who looked like she'd gotten stuck with carrying everything, before Misa launched herself at Mello.

"Mel-Mel!" she exclaimed, throwing her arms around him in a hug that actually made him stumble backwards a couple steps. "I missed you!"

"I missed you too," he admitted truthfully, because for living only one floor apart, it seemed like they never got to see each other as much as he would have liked.

"Where do I put all this?" Takada asked Matt, bypassing the two of them. "And what have you done to your living room? Please tell me we aren't eating on the floor," she sighed out.

"Anywhere, made room to eat, and yes, we ahre," Matt answered each part in turn, and upon hearing this, Misa released herself from Mello.

"Yay! Picnic!" she sang out and went to sit on one of the couch cushions Matt had thrown along the perimeter of the blanket.

"Great," Takada said flatly, setting to two bags down in the center of the blanket and starting to lay out the trays of sushi.

"Something wrong, Taki?" Mello asked innocently, taking a seat next to Matt. "You don't seem nearly as cheerful as normal. Or have I just forgotten your _wonderful_ personality?"

"Mello, be nice!" Misa scolded, and Matt elbowed him lightly in the ribs.

"It was your idea to have them over here, remember?" he whispered, and Mello let out a sigh. Matt was right; it had been his idea. About a week ago, when Misa had first suggested they get together after her photo shoot, he'd been the one to suggest that he and Matt host this time, figuring it was only fair since they'd had the last one at Misa's apartment.

"Actually, Misa's put me through hell today," Takada said calmly, finishing with the food and setting the two bags aside.

"Huh? What do you mean?" Misa asked sadly, looking at her friend with wide eyes.

"You know exactly what I mean."

"Misa's sorry!" she said, leaning over to pull Takada into a hug when she tried to sit down, visibly tensing when the blonde threw her arms around her. "I thought you wanted to go with me."

"I _wanted_ to go back to the apartment. I still haven't gotten to change," she grumbled, scooting a couple inches further away from Misa when she let her go, trying to figure out how to get comfortable sitting on the floor in her pencil skirt. And although Takada stared down at her hands crossed loosely in her lap, making it more difficult to see her face with how her hair fell down around it, Mello swore he could see her blush, and he was reminded of the theory he'd come up with on their beach trip.

"Go change if you want," Matt offered. "Or we could lend you somethin'. It would be too big, but it would prob'ly be more comfortable."

Takada let out a disgruntled sigh and suddenly got up. "I'll be right back," she grumbled, rushing out of the apartment, her high heels clicking across the hardwood floor along the way. But the second the door was slammed behind her, Misa got up, going to follow her.

"Just let her go," Mello said gently, catching her arm as she tried to walk passed him. If he was right, and Takada did have feelings for Misa…she wouldn't want Misa following after her when she was probably trying to get away to collect herself.

And although Misa gave him a questioning look, she retraced her steps, sitting back down. "I didn't think she minded going with me…" she said sadly, pouting slightly.

"I…I don't think it's really your fault," Mello said slowly, trying to decide how to handle this. He didn't want to start making wild accusations in the case that he was wrong, but he didn't want his best friend to feel bad about it when he truly believed Takada's actions had more to do with her own feelings rather than what Misa had done.

"It's just…she's been acting really weird lately…and I don't know why… I mean, I know you don't get along with her, so you probably won't understand, but…we used to be really good friends, and now it's like she doesn't even want to be in the same room with me half the time… I just want things to be the way they were."

"Misa…" he started, but he felt Matt shift next to him and turned to see him looking particularly awkward, like he didn't quite know what to do with himself. Matt gave him a small uncertain smile when he noticed Mello looking at him.

"How are things going with you guys?" she asked, seeming happy to change the subject, although her voice still held a hint of her sadness. It was strange for Mello to see her like that. She normally held such a sunny disposition, her cheerfulness bordering on annoying sometimes. She usually just let things roll off her back; she wasn't one to dwell on things like this, which left Mello at the conclusion that this was either something that had been going on for a while now and she could no longer ignore it or that she cared for Takada more deeply than he had originally thought. Or perhaps both.

"Well, I _thought_ things were goin' pretty good," Matt said, joining in on the conversation now that they had moved to something he was more comfortable with, "but then _someone_ decided to drop me on the floor." He looked to Mello, a teasing smile on his lips.

"_Someone_ decided it was a good idea to tickle me while I was carrying them," Mello countered, his attention being drawn away from Matt when he heard Misa giggle.

"What were you guys doing before we got here?" she teased, but then her voice became a bit more serious. "Details please," she added with a wink.

"No, uh, that's…that's not what I meant…" Matt said, blushing furiously at what Misa was suggesting.

"Uh-huh, sure," she said, clearly not believing him.

"Misa, stop trying to imagine us having sex," Mello said flatly, giving her a stern look despite the fact that he was trying to figure out what kind of position she was imagining. Although they had tried a couple different positions, they had never done anything standing up, certainly nothing of which would require Mello to completely support Matt's weight, lest he risk dropping him. Perhaps they would have to try something a bit more…interesting that night.

"Fine," Misa sighed, rolling her eyes, and there was a soft knock on the door.

"Door's open," Matt called over his shoulder, his face still red from Misa's implications. And although Mello agreed that his and Matt's sex life was none of Misa's business, he thought it adorable how embarrassed Matt had gotten when it had been brought up.

The door was pushed out of the way to reveal Takada, appearing much less flustered than she had earlier and certainly more comfortable now that her work attire had been replaced by a pair of jeans and a simple black v-neck tee-shirt. "You didn't have to wait for me to eat," she said calmly, sitting down a safe distance away from Misa and taking the clear plastic cover off one of the sushi trays.

"Not a problem," Matt smiled, following her lead and starting to load his own plate with sushi.

"So did Misa show you her _surprise_?" Takada asked, slipping a pair of disposable chopsticks out of the paper covering, but before Mello could respond, Misa jumped up excitedly.

"Look!" she exclaimed, lifting up the hem of her shirt, exposing a belly button ring with a pink gemstone. "Isn't it cute?" She sounded ecstatic about it; Mello could only stare. It wasn't that he was against piercings in general even if he didn't understand why anyone would ever want to punch holes in their body; it was just that he was against _Misa_ getting a piercing. "What? You don't like it?" she asked, sounding disappointed.

"What happens when you get bored with taking care of it, and it gets infected?" he asked, ignoring her question.

"You sound just like Kiyomi," she grumbled, and not receiving the response she wanted from Mello, she turned to Matt. "What do you think?"

"I, uh…I think it looks fine," he shrugged, taking a bite of sushi.

"Thank you, Matt. You're my new favorite," she said, finally sitting back down and glaring at Mello and Takada in turn.

"Misa, did you at least _think_ about this, or did you just wake up this morning and decide it was a good idea?" Mello said, exasperated. And as much as he hated to put himself in the same category as Takada, he felt like they were the only ones being sensible.

Misa opened her mouth, getting ready to defend herself, but Takada beat her to it. "Better yet, when she picked me up from my internship, it was 'I had a great idea at the photo shoot!'" she said, mocking Misa's ever enthusiastic tone. But she didn't seem enthusiastic now; she looked like she wanted to cry.

"I don't sound like that…" she murmured, looking down at her food. Takada tensed again, glancing over at Misa and then back down at her own plate like she wanted to say something but was afraid she'd only make it worse.

Mello was about to call her out on it, to tell her that he didn't care what her problem was, and that she had no right to upset Misa like that, when Matt put his hand on Mello's knee. "Um…how was the photo shoot?" Matt asked, and Mello gave him a small smile, grateful that he was keeping a level head and trying to distract her.

"Fine…" she pouted, poking at a piece of sushi with her chopsticks.

"Come on, Misa," Mello said, trying to keep his voice light. "We know you're dying to tell us about it."

She looked up hesitantly. "Okay, well…it _was_ pretty awesome," she started, a small smile coming to her lips. "It was just for another cosmetics ad, but…I don't know, I kinda feel like I'm finally making progress. I mean, my first photo shoot was only like a month ago, and now I already completed my second one." She looked so proud of herself but still seemed reserved compared to her normal antics.

"Wow, it's only been a month? That's amazin'! Congratulations!" Matt said, and Mello looked over at him in surprise, realizing something. They'd only been living together for about a month now. It seemed like so much longer than that, almost like they'd known each other forever. He'd moved in with Misa in mid-June, and it was only early August; in reality, two months ago, he hadn't even known Matt existed.

"Thanks!" she exclaimed, positively beaming this time. "I know I'm amazing," she giggled, all traces of her earlier sullen attitude gone. "So how's the album going? Only like a week and a half until the release, right?" she asked, popping a piece of sushi into her mouth.

"Yeah… It's _basically_ done. We just hafta record the vocal track and then put everythin' together."

"Vocal track? You're not singing, are you?" she teased, looking at him with skepticism.

"Heh, no, I want people to actually buy the album, remember?" he said with a laugh before adding "Mello's gonna sing."

Misa's jaw dropped. "You're kidding. I've _never_ heard Mello sing. I tried to get him to do it before, and he just…_won't_." She looked to Mello. "He's joking, right?"

He shook his head slowly, a small nervous smile coming to his face. "No…uh, we're scheduled to go record it at a studio tomorrow." 'We' of course meant Mello would have to learn how to be comfortable singing in a place he'd never been before in front of people he'd never met in about five seconds while Matt would only be there for moral support. Somehow this didn't seem like a fair setup to him.

"You're seriously gonna do this?" she asked, still sounding skeptical.

"Yeah…" he breathed out, and Matt put his arm around Mello, pulling him closer to kiss him on the cheek.

"We'd do it in the apahrtment, but I don't have any recordin' equipment," Matt explained. "Just the mic on my computer, which isn't that great since the most I thought I was gonna be usin' it for when I built it was Skype."

"So instead, we have to pay for me to be _really_ uncomfortable singing in front of the people who work there," Mello said with mock enthusiasm, giving Matt a look of disdain.

"Pretend like you're in the apahrtment and it's just me there, and it won't be a big deal," Matt said gently, trying to reassure him. Hypothetically, if he could manage that, it wouldn't be that bad. Between testing different things out when they were writing the lyrics and then practicing the song once they had gotten things the way they wanted, Mello had become pretty comfortable singing in front of Matt. But he seriously doubted he'd be able to block out everything else when it actually came time to record.

"So…is this like a thing now?" Misa asked, "Are you guys a duo act or what?"

"Right now it's just the one song," Mello answered, and Matt looked over at him in surprise.

"_Right now_?"

"I don't know… If you ever wanted me to sing in another one of your songs, I guess I'd be open to it…" he shrugged, watching as a huge grin spread across Matt's face.

"Okay… Yeah, I'd love that…"

"You guys do remember we're still here, right?" Misa teased. "You're adorable, by the way, gazing into each other's eyes like that." Mello instantly looked away, embarrassed. She made it sound like their life was a cliché romance novel. They hadn't been…doing _that_. Although Matt did have very pretty eyes… "You guys are so weird. I tell you you're adorable together, and all the sudden, you pretend like you don't know each other," she said, making Mello wonder if Matt had done the same thing he had. She let out a loud sigh. "So do _I_ get to hear you sing?" she asked, sounding like she felt left out.

"I, uh… I can't… I mean… Right now?" he managed to get out, and if he hadn't been blushing before, he knew he certainly was now.

"You're going to have to record it tomorrow, so what does it matter if you sing it in front of us now?" But it wasn't Misa's voice to ask this, it was Takada's. He turned to her, surprised. He'd almost forgotten she was there. When she'd first walked in, he'd expected their usual banter; instead, she'd been oddly quiet since she'd upset Misa.

"I…uh…" he said, trying to think of an excuse. He really didn't want to sing in front of _anyone_ except maybe Matt; he'd only agreed to the studio because they didn't have any better options.

"Wouldn't wanna have him strain his voice the night before we record," Matt said levelly, although Mello was sure he was making it up; he doubted there was any real risk of him straining his voice in singing one song.

"Come on!" Misa whined, but Matt shook his head.

"Sorry. Nope. Not riskin' it."

"Fine, then show us some of your music," Misa challenged, smirking over at Matt as if challenging him to come up with an excuse to get out of that. "We're like your VIPs, right? So we should get a pre-album release screening or something."

"Uh…yeah, fine, alright," Matt sighed, clearly not too happy about it.

"Yay!" Misa exclaimed, clapping her hands excitedly as Matt begrudgingly got up. He headed for the bedroom, returning a few seconds later with his laptop in hand. He opened the lid and pressed the power button, bringing it out of sleep mode.

"Thank you," Mello whispered to Matt, grateful to him for taking the fall, knowing that Matt still wasn't very comfortable with people hearing his music.

"It's fine," he shrugged, "I'm gonna have to get used to it, right?" He glanced over at Mello with a smile before pressing 'play' and one of his songs started blaring from the speakers.

Misa's eyes grew wide as she listened. "Matt, this is amazing!" she exclaimed, causing a wide grin to appear on Matt's lips.

"Thanks," he said, but it didn't appear that Misa had noticed. She jumped up from her seat and started to dance in place before leaning back down to yank on Takada's arm.

"Come on! Dance, Kiyomi!" she insisted, giggling as she tried to pull her friend to her feet. But instead of ceding to Misa's wishes, she only sat there, looking extremely uncomfortable.

"I, uh, really don't-" she tried, but Misa wasn't giving up that easily.

"Please," she pleaded. "Misa won't take 'no' for an answer."

Takada let out a sigh, finally looking up from her lap to Misa, revealing the pink tint spread across her cheeks. She didn't answer but hesitantly got to her feet anyway.

"Yay, Kiyomi!" Misa squealed, grabbing Takada's hands and moving her arms for her. But even with Misa's help, she only stood there as if she had forgotten what exactly dancing was.

"Uh, Mels," Matt leaned over to whisper to Mello, drawing his attention away from the two women, "What's goin' on?"

"I-" he started, trying to figure out how to go from there. He couldn't exactly explain his theory with Misa and Takada right there, and Matt hadn't been very receptive the first time he'd mentioned it, so there was really no point anyway. But as it turned out, he didn't have to come up with a way around talking about it.

"Kiyomi, what are you doing?" Misa giggled, "Like this." And Mello turned just in time to see Misa abandon Takada's hands in favor of her hips, trying to get her to move them back and forth.

The brunette jumped back from her touch, her face reddening. "I…I…" she tried, finally settling on quickly walking out of the room, staring down at her feet the entire way. "I'll be right back."

Mello looked from the spot where Takada had disappeared into the kitchen, to Misa's dejected expression, to Matt who looked thoroughly confused, and made a snap decision. "Distract her," he told Matt, nodding in Misa's direction.

"Alright…?" Matt said, sounding unsure of the entire situation, but that was good enough for Mello. If he was correct in his assumptions, he could explain things to Matt later.

"Thanks," he shot back over his shoulder as he got up, following Takada into the kitchen where he found her sitting at the table, her head in her hands. He hesitated a moment, reconsidering what he was about to do. He didn't even _like_ Takada, and he certainly didn't want to talk to her about _this_, but he had to. For Misa's sake.

"What?" she gritted out flatly, not bothering to look up from the table when he came to sit across from her.

He took a deep breath, suppressing the urge to snap back at her, and focused on making his voice as gentle as possible. "I know."

"Know what?" she demanded, crossing her arms over her chest. She glared across the table at him, waiting for his response.

"That you have feelings for Misa." He heard the music in the other room stop and hoped that Matt and Misa wouldn't overhear them.

"I-I…what are you even…I just…" she stuttered, looking away. "Don't be ridiculous."

"Fine," he shrugged, "you don't. Either way, you have no right to treat Misa like that."

"Do you think I _want_ to hurt her?" she looked back to him, disbelief written across her face.

"No, I don't," he said simply. He knew that wasn't the case. It never was.

"Then what do you want me to do? I can't…" she started, but the only thing that came out was a strangled noise. It looked like she was trying not to cry.

He wasn't sure what to do. When Misa was upset, he gave her a hug, comforted her, did whatever he had to in order to make her feel better, but with Takada… "It's okay," he said quietly, but instead of it making her feel better, Takada's expression turned harsh.

"What do you mean 'it's okay'? It's _not_ okay. You don't know how I feel."

"What? You think I've never had a crush on a straight guy before?" he asked, a small smile coming to his lips. He meant it to be light, even reassuring that he understood what she was going through, but she only looked at him for a moment, her brow furrowed, scrutinizing him, before she slowly shook her head.

"It's not the same," she said sternly, and he gave a nod of understanding.

"Yeah, I guess not since you live with Misa, but it's still-"

"No, that's not what I mean," she said quickly, not giving him a chance to finish, but rather than explaining further, she only looked back down at her hands.

"Then what _do_ you mean?" he sighed, starting to get a bit impatient. It wasn't even that he didn't want to have this conversation with her anymore—even if she wasn't exactly his favorite person in the world, that didn't mean he wouldn't help her if she needed it, especially with something as difficult and confusing as this. The problem was that Misa and Matt were in the other room, and he wasn't sure how long Matt would be able to keep Misa from going after them; the less time Takada wasted holding back, the better.

She pursed her lips, refusing to look up at him. She slowly opened her mouth as if she wanted to say something but paused as if thinking about it. "I…I'm not _gay_," she whispered.

"You're…not?" he asked hesitantly, a bit surprised. Ever since the beach trip when he'd first developed his theory, he'd just assumed that she was. Although now that he was thinking about it, he remembered how Misa and Takada had hated each other to start because they had both had a thing for Light. So he supposed maybe she wasn't a lesbian; maybe she was bi or even pansexual. Or maybe her having feelings for another woman was a onetime occurrence, specific to Misa. And even if she actually was a lesbian and just wasn't able to admit it yet, even to herself, it didn't really matter; he couldn't help her figure out who she was, at least not right then when he was certain Matt and Misa were starting to wonder what they were doing and why they were taking so long.

Takada let out a shaky sigh and hesitantly looked up at him. "No, I'm not," she said, her voice holding much more confidence than her uncertain expression did. "At least…" she started, the strength draining from her words, "I don't _think_ I am…"

"But…you _like_ Misa, right?"

"…Yeah," she sighed out, sounding defeated.

"Then all you can do is try to act as normal as possible around her," he shrugged, and she gave him a look of desperation, silently pleading for a better solution. He wished he had one for her. He knew how awful it was, having feelings for someone you have no chance with, trying to keep your distance so it hurt less, and with Misa who greeted everyone with a hug, held your hand for no reason at all, and spontaneously forced you to dance with her, he knew it must be near impossible for Takada. "I'm sorry," he added, not sure what else to tell her.

"Some help you are," she grumbled, but the edge her tone normally took on wasn't present; instead, it only held disappointment. He shrugged, giving her an apologetic half smile, and went to get up. "Where are you going?" she demanded.

"Back out there," he nodded in the direction of the living room. "You can't hide in here forever."

"But…" she started and then gave a heavy sigh. "Fine. You're right," she grumbled, sounding almost angry about this fact.

"I'm sorry. What was that?" he teased, "I _thought_ I just heard you admit that I'm right."

"Shut up," she told him, a disdainful smirk coming to her lips.

"Must've heard wrong," he said with a laugh and started towards the living room, pausing only after a couple steps. "Hey, if you need to talk about this or whatever, you can always text me," he offered, scarcely believing the words even as they left his mouth. He'd disliked her since they'd first met, and now he found himself trying to help her. Because even if he tried to tell himself that he was doing this for Misa, to make Takada realize how much she was hurting her, that last offer was solely for Takada.

"I'll…keep that in mind," she nodded, and he left her standing there, hoping she would follow him back into the living room.

He sat back down next to Matt, both him and Misa looking at Mello with confusion. But when Takada reemerged from the kitchen a few paces behind Mello, Misa seemed to forget him entirely. She immediately stood up, her hands clasped tightly behind her back, looking to Takada with uncertainty. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"

The brunette shook her head. "It's not your fault. I've just…I've had a lot on my mind, and I've been taking it out on you. I'm sorry." Misa nodded slowly, for once at a loss for words. "And, uh, if you wanted to dance," Takada said, looking away nervously, "I guess that would be alright."

"Really?" she asked, a hint of excitement in her voice.

Takada shrugged. "If you want."

And with that, Misa closed the remaining distance between them, flinging her arms around Takada. "Yay! Kiyomi's back!" she exclaimed.

"I didn't go anywhere," Takada said with short anxious laugh. She looked at Mello from over Misa's shoulder. 'Thank you,' she mouthed, and Mello smiled back.

"It seemed like it," Misa said, pulling back and turning to Matt. "Play something!" she said excitedly, and Mello was happy to see the smile stretched across her face once again.

Matt selected another of his songs, and Misa turned back to Takada. "Mels, what's all this _really_ about?" Matt leaned over to whisper to him.

"Just repaying a favor," he smiled. Because even if he didn't know if Misa would be even slightly interested, she was the reason why he and Matt were together, so he felt he owed it to her to try. And as much as it pained him to admit it, compared to the type of guys Misa normally dated, Takada would be good for her.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Alrighty, hopefully this chapter made up for the excessively long wait. Maybe? Even a little bit?

Anyway, I'm very sorry about the long wait. This month-long hiatus of sorts was not something I wanted to do; it was something that I had no choice but to do. For a while even before the hiatus, I had started to feel myself lose the motivation to write. I thought that if I ignored it, it would eventually just resolve itself, but while I was writing this chapter, it got to the point where I literally could not bring myself to write.

So I decided to take what was initially supposed to be a week-long break from writing, which turned into two weeks before I actually felt like writing again. But by the time I actually found the motivation to finish this chapter, I had started a new job and had very little time to write with training which set me even further behind with this story. I am going to try to return to my once a week update schedule, though I'm not making any promises on that. Again I'm really very sorry about taking so long to update this story. Please, please, please forgive me?

One last thing: I've not been keeping up on the whole ffnet cleanse/critics united thing since the hiatus, so I don't know if this is still a possible threat, but CatatonicVanity brought this article to my attention a while back, and I thought I'd share anyway just in case. If you have the time, please read this article (you can just copy and paste this into Google as is and it will come up). It shows the extent of what is going on (or was going on? I'm really not sure if this is still happening. If anybody has any idea if it is or not, please let me know):  
> / wtffanfiction . tumblr post / 24378135516 / important - mass - deletion - of - stories - on - fanfiction - net

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>Don't Forget Hope, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, sad1st1c m1stress, DarkAngelJudas, spiritfoxxx821, brightnight003, CatatonicVanity, lastbloom, anon, NessaYume, teB360, kiki1070, Mahri, TheKittenFiend, Jacey21


	21. Interlude: Red Light

Matt: For Those Who Care by Wobscure  
>Mello: Help Me by Alkaline Trio<p>

**Interlude: Red Light**

"Hey, Mels, ahre you okay?"

Mello glanced over to find a worried looking Matt staring back at him. Of course he wasn't okay. What kind of ridiculous question was that? He licked his lower lip and swallowed thickly, pulling on the seatbelt and readjusting in the passenger's seat, trying to find some way to relax. "I, um, I'll be fine…"

"Really?" Matt questioned, raising an eyebrow at him, a smile tugging at his lips, "Because it looks like you're about ready to jump out of the cahr, run back to the apahrtment, and lock yourself in our room for the rest of forever."

He let out a short, disgruntled huff of air at what Matt was suggesting. He wasn't a coward. He'd agreed to do this, and he was going to do it…even if he did feel like doing exactly as Matt had just described. "I'm fine," he insisted, going back to staring out the side window at the cars rushing past them, but it didn't come out quite as strongly as he'd hoped.

"Mels…" Matt reached over, taking hold of Mello's hand. "You don't hafta do it if you don't want to."

"Yes, I do," he sighed, refusing to look back over at Matt as the car inched forward down the center turn lane. He couldn't back out now, not after everything they'd done already. They would go to the studio, record the vocal track, and it would be fine. As long as he didn't pass out on the way there first. "I _want_ to do it," but he wasn't entirely sure if he was trying to convince Matt or himself. Although it really wasn't that he didn't want to do it; he just wanted it to be over with.

"Please…just try to-" Matt started, suddenly ripping his hand away from Mello's. The blond felt himself being forced into the seatbelt with a jerk and whipped his head around to see why Matt had slammed on the breaks. "Dammit… We could have made that light," Matt grumbled, running a hand through his hair.

A small smile came to Mello's lips. The car in front of them had decided not to run the yellow light, something Matt would have never so much as considered even though it would have undoubtedly turned red while they were still in the intersection. It wasn't that they were in any sort of hurry—they would get to the studio on time either way, and Mello certainly didn't want to get there early—it was just the way Matt drove. He tended to drive recklessly, aggressively, but it didn't worry Mello like it used to. He trusted Matt to get them from point A to point B in one piece.

"What?" Matt asked, seeing Mello's expression. His hand returned to Mello's as he relaxed back down into the seat.

"Nothing," Mello said, letting out a laugh.

"Now that's better," he smiled, but Mello only tensed again. For the briefest of moments, he'd forgotten what he was on his way to do before Matt had inadvertently reminded him. He looked down at his knees, trying not to think about it and, consequently, only thinking about it even more. "Really, it won't be that bad. Please try to calm down," Matt said gently, seeing the change in Mello's demeanor.

"Right. Calm down," he scoffed. Easy for Matt to say, sitting there, slouched down slightly in the driver's seat, perfectly relaxed, his left wrist resting lightly on the top of the steering wheel. Mello was the one who would be singing in front of people he didn't even know; Matt wouldn't have to do anything.

Matt let out a sigh. "Mello."

"What?" he mumbled.

"Mello, look at me." He looked up from his knees over at Matt, waiting for him to continue, but he never did.

"Matt, I-" he started, looking away.

"No. Just look at me. When you're in there, don't pay any attention to anythin' else. You're just singin' in front of me. No one else. Okay?"

Mello looked back to Matt, examining his concerned expression. "Okay," he smiled.

The car behind them honked its horn, and Matt jumped in his seat, glancing back over his shoulder at the car and then forward. "Shit," he mumbled, starting to pull forward. The light now displayed a green arrow, and the car in front of them had already turned, leaving them blocking traffic on the overly busy road.

They turned left onto the street which housed the recording studio, and Mello's heart started to quicken again. Seeing the studio ahead, he took a deep breath, trying to calm his nerves.

He was only singing for Matt. No one else mattered.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **After writing the last chapter, I felt like I had to include _something_ from the day they went to the studio, and this is what happened when I sat down to write. Hopefully you all enjoyed this little unplanned addition :)

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>CatatonicVanity, DarkAngelJudas, kiki1070, cupcakes4kendall, NessaYume, VeniVediVici, teB360, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, Don't Forget Hope, Meohy, TheKittenFiend, brightnight003, Lotta Devon


	22. Chapter 20: Rewind

Mello: Stop and Stare by OneRepublic  
>Matt: Monster (DotEXE Remix) by Meg &amp; Dia<p>

**Chapter 20: Rewind**

Mello stared out the little window, the landscape under him growing smaller as the plane ascended. He could see the UCLA campus at a distance, and although he couldn't pick out their apartment complex amongst the thousands of shrinking buildings, he could imagine it, just south of the campus.

He searched the area for it until he selected one that he was sure had to be it and immediately had to turn away. He was being dragged away from his new home, and he hated it. He couldn't stand to sit there idly and watch it disappear behind him.

But he didn't have any other options. In one last final act, she was sending him through an entirely new form of torture. After everything—everything he'd been through with Matt and all the progress he'd made—it had turned out not to matter. He was still that same lost kid, wandering around directionless, and it was all because of her.

He hated her for it, and he hated himself for hating her. There had to be something wrong with him to hate her at a time like this. There had to be…

Maybe she'd been right. Maybe there really was something wrong with him. Maybe it was wrong to…

No, he couldn't think that way. Matt had done so much for him; he loved Matt. He couldn't… How could it be…

The woman sitting next to him shifted in her seat, leaning down to take a novel out of the carry-on she had stuffed under the seat in front of her. She seemed so calm, bored almost. How could she sit there like that, as if everything was alright? He wished it was Matt sitting there next to him, but that wasn't a possibility. He couldn't be there. He shouldn't…

He felt tears start to well up in his eyes at the thought and tried to suppress them. He'd made it this far without crying; on a plane, suspended 3000 feet in the air, surrounded by people he'd never met before wasn't the time to break down.

But he couldn't get it out of his head. He hated himself for thinking like this, for letting her poison his mind, but he couldn't shake the thought from his head. And he hated himself for it, for thinking of Matt that way.

Matt…who had done so much for him…it wasn't fair to him.

He took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, and pulled out his iPod. He unwound the cord from around the red Nano and jammed the earbuds into his ears, content to let the music numb his brain. He scrolled through his playlists, looking for something that would distract himself from everything, but not even halfway down the list, he came across something unexpected, something he'd completely forgotten about. 'Good Music.' The playlist Matt had made for him.

He stared at it, his thumb hovering over the center button, his mind completely blank for the first time in what felt like years. He'd never listened to it in full, only catching bits and pieces of it when Matt mentioned one of the songs it contained and told him to listen to it specifically.

A pang of remorse struck him. He should have listened to it by now; he should have taken the time to see why exactly Matt was so invested in this type of music. He'd never understood it, even after helping Matt with one of his songs. It felt too late to try to understand now—he'd missed his opportunity. But instead of continuing down the list, his thumb depressed the circular button and started the playlist.

A techno beat blasted into his ears, loud enough to be heard over the plane's engines. He tilted his head back against the headrest and closed his eyes, immersing himself in it.

• • •

Mello hung up his phone, dropping it to the bed. He slouched over, resting his elbows on his knees and placing his head in his hands. That was it. He'd let his work know he'd need some time off work, and he'd booked a ticket to the first flight out of Los Angles. His suitcase was packed; he was ready to go. But there was one last thing he had to do, something he'd been putting off since he'd first gotten the call from his aunt.

He glanced over at his phone sitting on the bed next to him, not wanting to have to pick it up again. He still had no idea of what he was going to say, how he was going to explain…

He looked away. He couldn't do it, not yet. He looked to the digital clock on the nightstand, and his heart dropped. The red numerals glared up at him, yelling at him to hurry up if he wanted to make the flight.

He could call once he got to the airport; that would give him a few more minutes to figure out exactly what he wanted to say. But how was he going to react when it came time to explain all this? Would he finally lose it? Would he finally collapse under the pressure of everything? He couldn't have a break down in the middle of a crowded airport, so he would have to do it now, before he left the apartment.

He looked around his and Matt's room and felt his chest constrict. He had no idea how long it would be until he saw it again. His work was giving him a week off, but would he even be back in a week? It had taken him eighteen years to escape; what if that wretched little town trapped him again? When he'd left, he'd told himself that he would never go back but…

He let his breath out in a ragged sigh, not having realized that he'd been holding it. That wouldn't happen. He wouldn't let it. He wouldn't get ensnared in its grips again. Or at least, that's what he had to tell himself to make peace with what he was about to do.

He glared down at his phone, and it smirked up at him, daring him to do it, to cut that final tie so he had no excuse to sit there any longer. He reached out for it hesitantly, closing his fist around it. It would be fine. It wasn't good bye forever, just for…

He searched through the contacts he had saved in his phone until he found the name he was looking for and reluctantly pressed 'call.' The sound of the other line ringing entered his ear, and he waited for it to stop, knowing no one would pick up.

The phone gave one final ring. "Hey, how're you doin'? …Yeah, I'm great. So what's up? …Naw, just kiddin'. I can't get to the phone right now, but if you wanna leave a message, I'll give you a call back later," the message recited in Matt's voice, and Mello let out a snort of amusement, a small smile coming to his face. He remembered the first time he'd gotten Matt's voicemail and had actually responded, believing that Matt had picked up at the last second. Only Matt…

The phone beeped, alerting him that it had started to record. "Uh…" he said, suddenly brought back to reality by that short, high-pitched note. "I, uh… I'm gonna have to go back to Ohio for a few days…" he started, taking a deep breath before he continued.

• • •

"Misa!" Mello called out desperately, finally to her apartment door. "Misa!" His fist pounded on the door, urging her to come quickly.

"Misa!" he tried again, but the door was opened before his fist could return to it.

"What the hell is your problem?" The door was pulled out of the way to reveal a rather angry looking Takada, but her harsh expression soon gave way to one of worry when she saw him. "What's wrong?" she asked.

He pushed his way past her into the apartment, not bothering to answer her question. "Where's Misa?"

"She's out shopping. What's wrong?" she repeated, her tone softening further.

He fell to the couch, his head in his hands, not sure what to do. Matt was at work and wouldn't be home for a few hours, and Misa was out for who knew how long. The two people he counted on to be there for him were gone…

Takada hesitantly sat down next to him. "Um…whatever it is…I'm sure everything will be alright," she said softly, her hand going to his shoulder.

"I just… I don't know what I'm going to do…" he started, the words catching in his throat. He was surprised to find tears welling up in his eyes. He would have never expected to feel this way. All the time he'd spent hating her… It seemed like it should have been a relief but…

He wasn't sure how he felt. There were so many emotions coursing through his veins… It felt like everything he was sure of had suddenly crumbled beneath his feet, leaving him stumbling forward uncertainly. "I can't…" he tried again. "I don't know… I don't have enough for a plane ticket, and I…I can't ask Matt… Oh God… What am I going to tell Matt?"

He wanted so desperately for Matt to be there with him… He wanted Matt to go with him, but he couldn't ask that of him. The album release was in less than a week; Matt needed to be there, finishing things up for that, not following Mello half-way across the country for no other purpose than moral support.

But how could he just up and leave while Matt was at work? He needed to fly out that night if he was going to make it in time, but Matt wasn't going to be home for another few hours. He could try to call Matt, but he doubted he would get through; Matt always left his phone on silent when he was at work. He would have to leave him a message in his voicemail. It seemed like such an awful way to leave, but he didn't see any other options.

He didn't know how he was going to do this without Matt… He didn't know how he was going to do this at all…but he would have to. And even if Matt had been there, even if he would have returned to their apartment after the call he'd received from his aunt to find Matt waiting for him, he needed to do this alone. Maybe it was better that Matt would find out after Mello had already left when he listened to his voicemail because if he hadn't been at work, Matt would have been the one that Mello ran to, and Matt would be the one trying to comfort him, not Takada. Matt would have insisted on going with Mello; Matt would have insisted on paying for the plane tickets even though most of his savings had gone into getting ready for his first album release. Mello couldn't have him do that for him; he wouldn't let Matt risk losing the opportunity for his dreams to come true, not when the album release was so close.

Mello looked up from his knees to Takada. He wasn't looking for her to offer him some magical solution to make everything better—he wasn't even looking for a response—for once, he was just thankful that she was there.

They'd somehow become friends over the last week since she'd confided in him that she had feelings for Misa. He hadn't expected anything to come of his offer to talk with her about it if she needed—they had never really gotten along after all, so it had seemed that he wouldn't be her first choice—but the next night, he'd received a text from her.

She'd been hesitant at first, but he was surprised at how quickly she opened up, speaking to him freely as if they had been friends for years. A few days into texting off and on, she admitted that she didn't have anyone else to talk to about such things, that she normally confided in Misa when she needed someone to talk to and had been at a loss since that wasn't exactly an option in this particular case. It had made more sense to him after that, but it didn't really matter either way. He understood how awful what she was going through was and how much just talking to someone about it really did help, so if she needed him to be her confidant, he was more than willing.

Takada glanced away and then back to Mello. She bit her lip, appearing to think something over. "I…I can lend you some money…"

Mello let out a short mirthless laugh. "You don't even know what it's for."

"It…doesn't matter. I owe you. For…everything," she said slowly. "And it must be important…for you to be this upset about it."

He nodded, fighting back the mess of emotions that one simple call had brought on. "Thank you," he said, it coming out barely above a whisper.

"Yeah," she smiled, "No problem." But her smile slowly faded, giving way to concern. "Um…do you, uh, want to talk about the, uh…whatever it is?" she tried, stumbling over her words along the way as if she wasn't quite sure how she was supposed to proceed.

He didn't want to talk about it. He wanted to collapse into Matt's arms and just stay there until it didn't hurt to think anymore… But that wasn't an option, so the alternative Takada was offering would have to do.

Mello looked down at a spot on the coffee table, trying to focus, trying to hold back the emotions that kept threatening to break through, and started at the beginning.

• • •

Mello rushed out the door, half running and half hopping down the hall as he struggled to pull on his other shoe. His shift started in five minutes, and at this time of day he'd be lucky to make it to work in fifteen.

He jabbed the down button for the elevator with his index finger, pressing it in a few extra times for good measure. He glanced over at the door that led to the stairwell when the elevator didn't arrive immediately, trying to gauge which would be quicker, deciding to stick with the elevator.

The metal doors finally slid open, and he slipped in, pushing the button for the ground floor and then repeatedly tapping the button that was supposed to close the doors until the elevator finally complied. It slowly descended, the numbers on the display above the mirrored doors decreasing at their leisure. He glared up at the display, feeling as if it was moving in slow motion on purpose.

A red six flicked onto the digital display, and his phone rang. Mello instinctually retrieved it from his pocket, glancing down at the number on the caller ID. No one he knew. Probably a wrong number.

The six changed to a five, and he moved to return the phone to his pocket, pausing at the last moment. The area code… He should have recognized it immediately. His phone rang again, and he pulled it back out to look at it again.

The five gave way to a four. He stared at the number on his phone, stuck between wanting to dismiss the call and forget it had ever happened and wanting to answer to see why exactly someone from his hometown would bother to try to contact him. He hesitantly flipped it open and brought it to his ear, his curiosity getting the better of him. "Hello?"

The four to a three. "Oh, um, hi… Is…is this Mihael?" a woman's voice asked.

"…Yes." Her voice sounded vaguely familiar, but he couldn't place exactly where he'd heard it before.

"Oh good… I wasn't sure if I had the right number…" she started, trailing off before she realized that she'd forgotten to mention who was calling. "Oh right, um… This is your aunt…Theresa."

A three to a two. "Okay…?" he said, getting impatient. He didn't care who it was. She had until he got to his motorcycle to get out whatever it was that she wanted to talk to him about.

"Um… I'm not really sure how to say this but…" It sounded like she was crying. "Lillian…your mother…was found dead this morning… She hung herself…"

A red one flashed onto the black display, and the doors opened in front of Mello. He couldn't move. Was he supposed to be going somewhere? He wasn't sure anymore. He couldn't think.

His knees felt weak, and he stumbled backwards, bracing himself against the wall. His mother wasn't dead. She was lying. She had to be… This had to be some sort of sick joke. She couldn't be… This wasn't…

The elevator doors closed, leaving him alone with himself.

• • •

Mello paced around the hotel room, tracing and retracing his steps. He sat down on the bed next to where he had placed his phone and stared down at it until he got back up and etched his path into the carpet once more.

He didn't know what he was doing there. He'd told himself he'd never return to his hometown, and yet…

He hated it. He could feel it poisoning him, had been able to feel it the second he'd stepped foot on the plane. It muddled his brain, made it hard to think clearly until he wasn't sure which were his own thoughts and which were the twisted products of his mother's convictions. He'd thought he'd escaped her, had been sure that he was finally free, but even in death, she tormented him.

He halted in his footsteps, mortified. How dare he think of her that way. How awful of him…

Maybe she'd been right… Maybe he'd been a terrible son… He'd been a disappointment, a failure…a sinner… And she'd killed herself because of it…

He looked back to his phone, it daring him to pick it up, and he replayed the message Matt had left him in his head. 'Hey Mels… I'm so sorry about what happened… I can, uh, fly out tomorrow mornin' if you need me to. Or not…whatever you want… Just…call me as soon as your fight lands… I love you. Okay…bye.' He'd found it on his phone an hour ago and must have listened to it at least ten times since then. He couldn't bring himself to call back; he could hardly bring himself to _think_ about Matt.

He _loved_ Matt, he was sure of it, so how could that be a sin? How could something so pure send him to Hell? It wasn't fair… But who was he to say what was fair and what wasn't? That was God's choice, not his…

His attention was drawn back to his phone as if it was pulling his consciousness towards it. He reached out for it but stopped abruptly, drawing his hand back. He couldn't… He just…couldn't…

It felt like his mind was being pulled in a hundred different directions. He loved Matt, but he couldn't love Matt; it was wrong to love Matt. It was wrong…

Mello's phone started ringing, and he jumped, his heart pounding in his chest. He approached it hesitantly, not wanting to see the name he knew the screen would display. He reached for it, picked it up, opened it, pressed it to his ear, and waited.

"Uh…hello?" Matt's voice questioned when Mello didn't say anything.

He let out a regretful sigh. He missed Matt. He wished he was there with him, but he knew that wasn't possible. It was better that he wasn't. "Yeah?"

"Mello? Ahre you alright? Why didn't you call me? I was so worried…"

"I…didn't know what to say," he admitted truthfully.

"That's okay. You don't…you don't hafta say anythin'… I just wanted to make sure everythin' was alright…"

"Oh…" He couldn't get anything else out. Matt shouldn't have called if he wanted to hear that everything was alright. Nothing was alright.

"So, uh, didya want me to come join you? There's a flight leavin' tomorrow mornin'… I could make it in time for the funeral."

He tried to tell Matt to come, that he needed him there, but his words weren't working. Instead, the second the thought came to him, a part of him pushed it away. He couldn't do that. He shouldn't give in. It was _wrong_. It was…

It felt like he was losing his mind.

"Mello?" It killed him how worried Matt sounded.

"Matt…" he tried, needing to stop to collect himself. Tears blurred his vision, but he didn't need to see to do what he knew he had to. "I…I don't know if I can do this…"

"It'll be okay. I'll be there for you. I'm goin' to get my computer right now to book the ticket," Matt said as if it had already been decided on.

"No, that's…that's not what I mean… I don't think I can do _this_. I can't…" He couldn't hold it back any longer. For the first time all day, a tear escaped his careful guard. "I can't do this anymore…"

"What d'you mean? I don't…" he trailed off, not daring to continue.

"…I can't be with you anymore," he whispered, the tears running down his face freely now.

"I-I don't understand. What d'you… No… You can't… I-I," he shuddered, grasping at the words and coming up empty handed. Mello heard him take a deep breath, letting it out in a rush. "No!" he said firmly, "You don't know what you're talkin' about. You can't mean that. You're just…confused because of everythin' that's goin' on… I-I'll be there tomorrow, and we can talk about this. You'll see… It's gonna be fine." But for as strongly as he'd started, it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself than Mello.

"No, Matt… You're wrong. It's not gonna be fine," he said regretfully. "I…I don't want you to come here. Please just…just leave me alone."

"Mello, no. Please, you can't. Mello, please don't do this," he begged, his voice weak.

"Good bye, Matt," he breathed out.

"No! Mello, wait! I can-" but Mello flipped his phone shut, cutting Matt off.

He sat there, his phone in his hand, staring blankly at the wall until what he'd just done slowly began to catch up with him. He drew the phone in, holding it to his chest. That was it. Matt was gone.

He stood up suddenly, his arm winding back, and he threw the cell phone against the wall as hard as he could, yelling out incoherent sounds of anger, of desperation, of regret. He didn't know what he was doing anymore. He didn't know what was right, his mind torn between two opposing ends of a spectrum.

Mello collapsed to the bed. He didn't want to think anymore; it hurt to think. It hurt to try to figure out what was right and what was wrong, it hurt to recognize what he'd just done, and he couldn't take it.

His phone started ringing again, and he forced himself to look at it, shifting on the bed so he could see it from where he lay. The small square screen on the front was cracked but lit up all the same. Not that it mattered. He knew who it was without looking. He rolled onto his back so he wouldn't have to look at it, staring up at the ceiling instead, listening to it yell at him to pick it up, but he wouldn't comply.

He examined the room from where he lay, trying to find something to focus on so he wouldn't have to think, until something caught his attention at the top of his line of sight. He tilted his head back to better look at it. The crucifix hung over the bed appeared upside down in his vision.

His phone gave one last final call to him, and Mello closed his blurry eyes, a few last tears still attempting their escape. "Please God…help me."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **With only eight chapters left including the epilogue, we are entering the last major part of the story, and well… I don't want to give anything away, so all I can say is that I'm really excited about what's to come. With the realization that we are nearing the end, I think the nostalgia is setting in. Well, not nostalgia exactly, but I always get really sentimental about a story when it's starting to come to a close.

But…I'm considering doing a spinoff once this story is done. It wouldn't be nearly as long as this story—maybe around ten chapters—and would follow Misa and Takada's "relationship." I put 'relationship' in quotes because, to be honest, I'm not even sure if they will get together at the moment, so I'm waiting to see what will happen in that regard just as much as you guys are.

Anyway, I'm bringing this up now because I want to see what you all think of this idea. Whether I do this spinoff or not will largely depend on two things: 1. If things do start developing between Misa and Takada, and 2. How much support I receive for this idea. So please let me know if you would be interested. You can either vote on the poll at the top of my profile page or tell me what you think in a review. I'll probably leave the poll up for about a month and let you all know what I've decided before the end of this story.

**A special thanks to the following reviewers (and to everyone else who has helped this story to reach 300 reviews!):  
><strong>CatatonicVanity, DarkAngelJudas, NessaYume, brightnight003, Mahri, Meohy, teB360, kiki1070, Evidence Of Rain, lastbloom, Vellev, and an anonymous reviewer (whom I'm assuming is TheKittenFiend based on the content of the review)


	23. Chapter 21: Faith

Mello: Lillian by +44  
>Matt: Leave The Lights On (Culture Code Remix) by Meiko<p>

**Chapter 21: Faith**

The people moved around Mello, keeping their distance even when they approached him to offer their obligatory condolences. "I'm sorry for your loss." "Let me know if I there's anything I can do to help." "I'm sure she's in a better place."

Hollow words.

It was a meager turnout, but that was to be expected. Lillian Keehl had only a few close friends and hadn't kept close ties with her family. Her sister had taken care of the invitations and so much of the immediate family was present, nonetheless. From his mother's side of the family, his aunt and uncle with their two sons, Nate and Adam, as well as his grandparents and his uncle Chris who had driven in from Columbus the night before. From his father's side, only his grandmother whom he could remember spending the summer with one year during his childhood. His father, however, wasn't present for which Mello was immensely grateful.

Mello sat down in one of the pews near the back of the church, wishing his "family"—people he barely even knew—would leave him alone. He vaguely remembered going to a family reunion for his father's side when he'd been little, but after his father had gotten himself thrown in jail, they'd lost touch with the people he shared a last name with.

His mother's side was a bit different. He'd had to endure seeing his cousin Nate "Near" River every day at school, an experience he would have given anything to have avoided. Near was an insufferable know-it-all, and for being so intelligent, he didn't seem to realize just how pretentious he could be. It made being around him unbearable, and once Near had skipped a grade and was in the same class as Mello, there was no way around it. And for Mello, who had always been at the top of his class in elementary school, it was a hard blow to his ego. They'd entered into an unspoken competition, each vying to have the highest grades in their class, but no matter how many extra hours Mello had put into studying, Near always managed to come out on top.

Once they'd gotten to high school, the added prize of being valedictorian came into view, and Mello had been certain that if he could achieve this honor, it would make up for all the losses he'd suffered against Near in the past. He'd redoubled his efforts, taking honors classes that would get him additional points on his GPA for doing well, devoted all of his free time to his homework and studying, but Near had still somehow managed to win, albeit by a narrow margin. Near's GPA: 4.37; Mello's: 4.36. It had been a crushing defeat.

With the unfortunate exception of Near, Mello hadn't seen much of his mother's family either. He remembered his aunt Theresa being over several times to try to get his mother back on her feet right after his father had gone to jail, but the visits had slowly tapered off as his mother had turned to alcohol for solace, switching between that and retreating into the depths of her religion with absurd frequency. The more she drank, the more she looked to God for forgiveness.

The mix of the two opposing forces left him feeling trapped with a woman who, on one hand, he knew so well, but on the other, was so different when consumed by such a strong drug. When the alcohol was there, it changed her, leaving him feeling alone and helpless when he was younger. She would go from praying, asking God to forgive her for her sins, right back to that which caused her to go out all night, returning in the early hours of the morning. She would stumble in, breaking things along the way, leaving a mess that almost made it look like they had been robbed. Hearing the clamor, her young son would bring her a blanket and pillow after she had collapsed on the floor: an added burden to the already difficult scene.

As Mello got older, it became easier to pretend he didn't care. It was still impossible to ignore, but no longer a child, he understood that it wasn't his fault and lost his pity for her. It was her own fault; she was doing this to herself. He'd resented her for the negligence and the apathy he'd had to grow up with because of her and became bitter to what he had viewed as self-inflicted misery and the actions of a hypocrite. She had looked to religion to make herself feel better about her growing addiction, but in Mello's eyes, the two couldn't coexist.

Religion had always been a part of Mello's life, and as far back as he could remember, they had gone to church regularly. Having grown up in that small town in central Ohio where it hadn't been uncommon to be religious, he hadn't known any different. But as he grew older, it became more than a blind familiar allegiance; he looked to it as the only constant in his life. With his father in jail and his mother an alcoholic, his religion was the saving grace in the instability of his life. He never doubted his beliefs—not until he confided in his mother that he was gay did he start to reconsider.

He'd never discussed religion with Misa; there had been no reason to when he'd been little with the naïve assumptions of a small child that everyone shared his beliefs, aided by the cross the Amanes had hanging over their mantle. As he had gotten older and had lost these childish ideas, discovering that it meant something different to be Protestant than it did to be Catholic, he didn't want to discuss such things with his best friend and risk a pointless argument. It didn't matter to him if he and Misa didn't share the exact same faith anyway; even during his most devout time, he'd never shared his mother's prejudices.

Only after his mother had kicked him out of the house because he come out to her did he start to question his faith and had turned to Misa for help. The Amanes had opened their home to him—they were good people, the kindest he knew; they had never had any problem with him being gay. But with his mother using her religion to argue why it was wrong to be gay, he couldn't help but question his faith.

He'd spent much time deliberating over the subject during that week he'd stayed with the Amanes, but even after his mother accepted him back into her home and told him it was his choice to do what was right, to pray for the savior of his soul, he couldn't completely abandon his religion. There were so many unanswered questions in his mind, but he knew that it was not simply his choice to do what was considered right. He was gay, and that had never been a decision; it was simply a part of who he was. So God must have made him that way—for what purpose, he had no idea, and it wasn't his place to question it. He knew that this was the path God had laid out for him, so how could it be wrong?

With these realizations, he'd been left with the conclusion that his mother was the one who was wrong. She was bitter and prejudiced, and he hated her for it; he hated her for trying to twist his relationship with God, and he had made it his goal to get out of that awful little town and away from her as soon as he could.

He'd thought that he'd escaped her, but there he was, sitting in a pew at the back of the same church he'd spent every Sunday in during his childhood, trying to hide in plain sight. He wasn't sure what was right and what was wrong anymore. He wasn't sure if he was wrong to love Matt, but he knew that so many times that morning he'd wished Matt was there with him so he didn't have to face these people alone. More times than he could count, he'd wished that he hadn't broken up with Matt the night before.

Mello looked around the church, carefully avoiding the eyes of all the people standing around, looking at him with pity. It was surreal being back there, almost like a dream. This wasn't how things were supposed to have gone. He'd left this place, never looking back once. And in his haste to leave his old life behind, he'd all but abandoned a part of himself. He'd left behind that scared boy praying in the back of the church after his mother had kicked him out.

He didn't know if he could even consider himself a Catholic anymore. He hadn't been to church or confession since he'd left his hometown, hadn't even bothered to try to find a new church once he'd moved. He'd thought about it several times but had never been able to bring himself to actually take the initiative; it felt too close to the life he was trying to escape. He'd never doubted his faith in God but…he realized sitting there, looking around at the familiar structure built up around him that he'd somehow abandoned his religion along the way.

He stood up, making his way to the front of the church. He passed his aunt Theresa speaking with Misa's parents and caught his name, his real name, amongst the hushed exchange of words. A pang of remorse hit him for not even saying hello to the Amanes when they had walked in, but he continued forward, nonetheless. He could make amends later, but there was one thing he had to do first.

The two women standing near his mother's casket whom Mello recognized from church but didn't know their names, moved out of the way without a word. He caught the disapproving looks they gave him but pretended not to have seen; he wouldn't be receiving any sympathy from them, and for that, he was glad.

He stood next to the casket, refusing to look down. Ever since he'd arrived at the church that morning he'd avoided this, had avoided getting anywhere near the casket. He didn't want to see her; he remembered leaving, never wanting to see her again. But it wasn't that. It was different. Everything had changed when he'd gotten the news from his aunt. Seeing her dead was the final barrier; seeing her dead would make it real. Everything had changed when he'd found out that his mother was dead, and he didn't know if he wanted to make that change permanent.

He had no way of knowing exactly how long he stood there like that, staring straight ahead with determination, but with one last hope for forgiveness, he dropped his gaze to look at her.

It was hard to comprehend the sight before him. His mother lay in the coffin wearing a delicate looking navy blue dress. Her mousy brown hair was pulled back away from her face, her bangs placed neatly over her forehead. Her makeup was simple, natural looking, but it was more than that. He'd never seen her look so pretty and knew it must be an illusion crafted by the mortician, a theory that was supported by the lack of bruises on her neck.

He looked away almost immediately, not being able take in the sight any longer. He'd spent so much time hating her; he wanted to feel relief, to be glad that she wouldn't be able to hurt him any longer, but he couldn't. He couldn't be happy about this; he couldn't be relieved.

His knees felt weak, and he grabbed the edge of the casket on instinct to brace himself, releasing it and stumbling backwards the second he realized what he'd done. He took a deep breath and tried to steady himself, tried to clear his mind for just a second so he wouldn't have to think about it.

It was an awful feeling. It wasn't sadness or regret or even anger. Or maybe it was the three mixed together; sadness that his mother was dead, regret that he hadn't been there to stop her from hanging herself, anger at himself that he'd ever felt any ill sentiments towards her. He felt something on his face and moved to brush it away, only then realizing that he was crying.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to find Mrs. Amane standing next to him, offering him a sad sort of smile. "It's okay," she said softly, the first offer of sympathy that sounded sincere to his ears.

He didn't know what to say to her, didn't know how to convey how much those two simple words meant to him, so all he said was a whispered "Thank you."

She nodded towards the casket, encouraging him to try again, and he hesitantly took a step forward; the funeral service would be starting soon, and he wouldn't get another chance to see her again. It took him a moment to regain the courage to look down at his mother.

She looked so peaceful, much more so than she ever had in life. Her head rested on a small white pillow to match the white silk lining the casket, the dark wood a stark contrast. Her hands were lightly clasped around the beads of a rosary, the crucifix dangling down to rest on her abdomen. It was a perfect replica of the one he'd thrown into the ocean.

"I'm so sorry…" he whispered, staring down at her with tears in his eyes. It was his fault, after all. It was his fault… If he hadn't been so eager to leave his old life behind, he would have been there… He could have stopped her…

"It's not your fault," Mrs. Amane said quietly, as if hearing his thoughts. "There was nothing you could have done."

"But I…" His words caught in his throat as silent tears started to stream down his cheeks.

She shook her head slowly, looking up at him. "Mello, please don't blame yourself. It isn't anyone's fault. She was a deeply troubled woman. And even though she may not have always acted like it, I know she loved you and wouldn't want you blaming yourself for this."

He could only look at her for a moment, not sure how to process what she had just said. But he trusted Mrs. Amane, viewed her more as a mother than he'd ever seen his own mother, and if she said it wasn't his fault, he would believe her. And even though it was still there, he felt the burden of guilt alleviated from his shoulders if only slightly.

Mello nodded slowly, grateful that she was there. The sound of one of the large wooden doors at the front of the church creaking open registered in the back of his mind, but he paid it little attention, instead, turning back to his mother. He hoped that she was in a better place and that God had forgiven her for her sins.

Because in that moment, Mello knew that he had forgiven her.

"Mello?" He turned on instinct upon hearing his name and immediately froze. It wasn't possible. He really had gone insane. This had to be some sort of hallucination.

"What are you doing here?" Mello demanded, clearing the tears from his face with the back of his hand.

Matt looked up at him sheepishly through his bangs, looking awkward standing there in a suit that was clearly too big for him. "I'm…not really sure."

"I…I don't want you here," he lied. It didn't matter if he wanted Matt there more than anything else in the world. Matt needed to be back in LA finishing everything for his album release, not here, making things more complicated for Mello. It was hard enough just being there, and now it seemed most of the people in the church were staring at him and the strange redheaded man.

"Mels…please…can't we just talk about this?"

"There's nothing to talk about," he said firmly but had to look away for fear that his eyes would betray him.

"Whadya mean there's nothin' to talk about? You just broke up with me out of nowhere, and you expect me to accept that without any sort of explanation?" His voice gradually rose, a vein of anger flowing under the surface of his words, and if everybody in the church hadn't been looking at them before, they certainly were now.

"Matt…please…not here," he begged, desperation creeping into his voice despite his best efforts. He couldn't take this, not now, not when the funeral service was supposed to be starting any minute.

"I'm sorry," Matt said quietly, lowering his eyes to his feet. "I just…I didn't know what to do… I-I'll leave…if you want."

Mello didn't say anything, couldn't decide what to do. Matt couldn't leave; Mello _needed_ him there. But he couldn't stay; there was too much riding on these last few days before the album release, and he wouldn't let Matt risk losing the chance to make his dream come true.

Matt glanced up at him, looking for a response, and when he didn't receive one, he nodded sadly. "I get it. It's fine." But when Matt turned to walk away, Mello caught his hand. No matter how much he told himself that he had to, he couldn't watch Matt walk away.

Matt turned back to him, a confused expression on his face, questioning Mello's inconsistent actions. "Um…" Mello started, not sure how to proceed. He noticed that he was still holding Matt's hand and immediately dropped it, crossing his arms over his chest.

Mrs. Amane politely cleared her throat, bringing Mello's attention back to her. "Why don't I find the priest and tell him that we're going to need to delay the service, and you two can go outside and talk?" she offered. He glanced over at Matt, who looked away the second their eyes met, and for a second, thought it strange how they were right back where they started, walking on eggshells around each other because they didn't know how to act.

But they'd gotten past that. They knew how to coexist, moving in tandem. Like the sight L and Light had made when he'd been struggling over how to label his feelings for Matt. Was he in love or not?

He most certainly was. He was in love with the man standing in front of him refusing to make eye contact because of how Mello had hurt him. "Yeah…okay…" he told Mrs. Amane, and out of the corner of his eye, he saw Matt look back up at him. She smiled at him and nodded, turning to search for the priest.

He pushed past Matt, walking down the center aisle towards the heavy wooden doors at the front of the church. He wasn't sure how he was going to fix this, how he was going to make everything alright and still manage to keep up appearances, but he had to do something. The way things were now…everything had turned out all wrong.

He stepped out into the humid August air, immediately feeling overdressed for the weather in his suit. He rushed past his uncle Chris who was standing just outside the door in the middle of what sounded like a business call. Upon seeing Mello, he raised his hand in a short wave before his attention was drawn back to his call. He'd either not noticed Matt exiting the church a few paces behind Mello or hadn't thought anything of it. Regardless, Mello could feel the heat of a blush start to creep into his cheeks, and he hated it. He hated that he was embarrassed to be with Matt around his family.

He tried to push it from his mind, tried to focus on the task at hand, and continued around the side of the church where he hoped his uncle wouldn't be able to hear them. He stopped abruptly, hearing Matt stumble slightly from the unexpected halt, his feet rustling in the near-dead grass killed by the heat. "Mello?"

"Um…" he tried, still refusing to turn around to face Matt. How could he explain everything to him? He'd been such a fool to think for even a moment that ending things with Matt would fix everything; it had done nothing but make them both miserable.

Even if he would go to Hell for his love, it would be better than living a lie.

"I'm sorry…" he breathed out, turning his head so he could see Matt just out of the corner of his eye.

For the longest time, neither of them said anything, and Mello had all but given up on hearing a response. He turned away again, looking out at the field of stones protruding from the earth behind the church: the cemetery. He could see a freshly dug grave, undoubtedly where his mother would be laid to rest.

"I…I don't think I really…understand," Matt said slowly, cautiously.

"I made a mistake, and I'm sorry. I don't care if it's a sin. I just… I can't…"

"Mels… Don't say that," Matt said sadly. "You can't really think that…"

"What? That it's a sin? I don't know what to believe anymore." A sparrow flew low over the cemetery, coming to rest on one of the gravestones. It scanned its surroundings, observing them from its perch.

"I might not know a lot about religion," Matt said softly, "but it doesn't really make sense to me how loving someone can be a sin. What you told me before about how you couldn't see how it could be wrong if God made you this way…that's what makes sense. If there is a God, He wouldn't want you to be somethin' you're not…"

How could God want him to be something he wasn't? It had never made sense to Mello; it was the reason why he'd hated his mother for so long. But he no longer felt that hatred, so what was he left with?

His faith in God. His love for Matt. His belief that by following his heart, he was doing the right thing. He was following the path that was right for him, and no one could tell him differently.

"Mels?" Matt reached out to touch his hand. The second Mello felt it, he grasped at it, turning around and pulling Matt against him.

"I'm so sorry," he whispered into Matt's shoulder, holding him tightly against his chest. "I can't do this without you."

For a moment, Matt didn't do anything. He just stood there stiffly as if he wasn't sure what to do until he slowly brought his arms around Mello, the tension leaving his body. "It's okay," he said, pulling Mello closer. "I'll stay as long as you need me to."

"What about your album release? There's only four more days…" he said sadly, pulling back slightly to look at Matt. He wanted nothing more than for him to stay, but he couldn't have him give this up for him.

"It's fine. I gave everythin' to Misa to take care of. She can pick up the finished CD cases and shirts on Monday just as easily as I can. Besides, even if I miss the rave, I can just postpone the release. There'll be other opportunities."

"Not like this. You've worked so hard to get everything together in time for this."

"It doesn't matter. You're more important to me than the album release. It'll wait. This can't," Matt smiled.

"…Thank you," he breathed out, tears welling up in his eyes, a familiar feeling bubbling to the surface. He didn't deserve Matt. Especially not after this. And yet, here Matt was, risking his music career for him, forgiving him for what he had done without a second thought.

Matt only smiled in return, leaning in to kiss him. But Mello quickly turned his head and was instantly ashamed of himself for doing so. "Not…here…" he said, hating himself for bringing that sad expression to Matt's face, his voice sounding strangled even to his own ears.

Matt looked from Mello to the area around them. There was no one around save for the sparrow still watching from the graveyard. Seeing the questioning look on Matt's face, Mello tried to explain, struggling to find the right words. "If someone saw…"

"Why d'you care what they think?" Matt asked gently, concern in his eyes.

"Because…they're my family…"

"They're not your family. Family accepts you for who you ahre. Me and Misa and Kiyomi, we're your family," Matt said, pulling Mello closer.

A smile came to Mello's lips. He'd never heard Matt refer to Takada by her first name before. It seemed fitting; he no longer looked at her with disdain. Despite the longstanding contempt between them, he and Takada had somehow ended up friends, someone he truly did trust.

Mello nodded. Matt was right. He shouldn't care what those people standing around inside the church thought of him or his relationship with Matt. He hesitantly leaned forward, pressing his lips to Matt's lightly.

Mello pulled back, looking at Matt intently. "I…think I'm ready."

"Mkay," he nodded. "And you want me to stay, right?"

"Yeah." He no longer knew what he'd do if Matt left. It was an unbearable thought.

"Alright," Matt smiled, taking Mello's hand in his own and starting back towards the front of the church.

Mello's uncle was gone from the small porch, but that did nothing to calm his nerves. Walking in hand in hand with Matt would no doubt create an upset in the small town, but thinking about it, Mello found that he no longer cared. He rested his hand on one of the adjoining doors, and taking a deep breath, he pushed it open.

It wasn't nearly as heavy as he remembered it.

• • •

The sparrow looked down at the small group of people gathered around an open grave from a branch of a nearby tree, concealed by the leaves fluttering around it in the light breeze. One by one, each person in the group dropped a flower into the grave: an elderly couple, the businessman, a portly woman and her husband, followed by their two fair-haired sons, a Japanese man and his wife, until the only two people left were a blond man and the redhead dressed in a suit much too large for him.

The blond paused next to the grave, the flower clasped tightly in his hand. He was crying silent tears as he stood there, unable to move. The redheaded man came to stand next to him, taking hold of his hand. The blond turned to him, saying two inaudible words, and let the flower fall into the grave.

Satisfied, the sparrow flew away.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Not being religious myself, I never thought I would write something where religion played such a key role. Even so, this has to be one of my favorite chapters that I've ever written, and it is by far one of the most meaningful.

I've argued with myself over whether or not to even bring this up, but out of curiosity, I have to ask what you all think the sparrow represents. There are no wrong answers; depending on how you look at it, it can mean several different things, so please don't feel like by giving your interpretation of it, you will somehow be incorrect.

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>DarkAngelJudas, CatatonicVanity, Bloo Bro, Ironicsheep, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, NessaYume, Meohy, brightnight003, kiki1070, TheShadows2523, Vellev, theheartstourniquet, cupcakes4kendall, teB360, HeroofTwilight'sgf, RiinaVenecara, Evidence Of Rain, HiDiNgFrOmYoU, Mahri


	24. Chapter 22: Inheritance

Mello: Liars & Thieves by Good Luck Varsity  
>Matt: Lights (Eyes Dubstep Remix) by Ellie Goulding<p>

**Chapter 22: Inheritance**

Mello stared up at the poster above him, wondering what Misa had ever seen in this guy. Not his type at all. The man in the poster, a movie star whose name Mello couldn't quite remember, gave him a cheesy grin, and Mello turned away. It was honestly kind of creepy, and he was glad that he had been too tired the night before to notice it.

He looked over at the digital numbers hovering over the chest of drawers Misa had sitting next to her bed in the low lighting, willing them to display a later time. 7:03. Too early to get up and risk waking the Amanes. Mello rolled over, looking around Misa's old room leisurely to pass the time, having given up on going back to sleep some twenty minutes ago.

It was a skeleton of what it had been. He could recall the mess of clothes that had often lined the floor, the clutter that had collected on every surface in the room, the backpack and school books Misa had always thrown in the corner, hoping they would find a way to make themselves disappear. Now the room was all but pristine, everything Misa had left behind in its proper place. The Amanes had left Misa's room largely the same for those rare times when she visited. Maybe he would have to talk to her about that when he got back; if he'd had parents like the Amanes, he wouldn't have minded visiting every once in a while.

Mello shifted in the bed and, for a fleeting moment, was surprised not to find someone to his right. In a second, it passed, and he felt ridiculous for it. Of course Matt wasn't there.

He wondered if Matt was having as hard of a time sleeping as he was out on the couch in the living room. He doubted it. A truck could crash through the wall right next to him, and Matt would probably sleep through it.

The Amanes had offered to let him and Matt stay with them as long as they were there for, had even offered to allow them to stay in the same room, saying that Misa had told them that they live together and weren't so naïve to think that they didn't normally share a bed. Matt had turned bright red, and they had politely declined.

The soft morning light filtered in around the curtains. Mello pulled Misa's bright pink covers over his head, not wanting to have to decide whether to get up or not. His aunt had suggested he go to church with them the next day, which he had promised to think about. In truth, he'd thought of little else. He wanted to start going to church again; he just wasn't sure that he wanted to go to his old church where he was certain people would be whispering about him and Matt.

He didn't care, at least in theory—if they didn't like that he was with another guy, that was their problem, not his—but that would do nothing to make it any more pleasant. If he'd just woken up later, he wouldn't have had to decide whether to go or not, but as it turned out, he had plenty of time to get ready for Sunday Mass at 9:00.

He heard water running in the kitchen and glanced back over at the clock. 7:19. With the realization that someone must already be awake, his excuse dissipated.

He begrudgingly swung his feet over the edge of the bed, sitting up slowly. He would go. And he would do his best to ignore the rude stares he would receive. He wasn't going to let people he hardly even knew control his life anymore. With a sigh, Mello pushed himself up from the bed and crossed Misa's room, opening the door as quietly as he could manage.

At first, he thought he must have been mistaken. The house sounded deathly quiet. He paused, listening intently, and almost decided to retreat back into the bedroom until he heard a drawer slide open in the kitchen. But standing there, half in the hall and half in Misa's old room, he wondered if it would really matter if he slipped back into the bedroom and quietly closed the door. No one would know the difference. For all appearances, he would have just been sleeping in, having either forgotten to set an alarm or not having thought to do so.

'Mello, you're being a coward.' Misa's disgruntled words echoed in his head, and he was reminded of how he had decided to hide out in Misa's apartment after confronting Matt about his smoking habits. Although he wouldn't have admitted it at the time, Misa had been right—he'd been a coward then, and he was being a coward now. He stepped out into the hall and followed it out to its junction, turning left into the kitchen.

He found Mrs. Amane in a cream-colored bathrobe and a pair of pale blue slippers starting a pot of coffee, her black hair tied back in a messy bun. "Good morning," she said, noticing Mello standing in the doorway, and a hand went to cover her mouth as a yawn escaped.

"Morning," he returned uncertainly, and he immediately saw a look of concern wash over Mrs. Amane.

"Is everything alright, sweetie?" A small smile came to Mello's lips. Nothing got past Mrs. Amane; she could read both him and Misa like open books.

"Yeah, I uh…was thinking about going to church. Aunt Theresa invited me to go with her…" he trailed off, not knowing how to continue.

"Do you want to go?" she asked as she bent down to pull a box of pancake mix out of one of the cupboards, sensing his reluctance.

"I think so…"

"But you're worried about what people will think when you show up with Matt?" she guessed, and his eyebrows shot up in surprise.

"Do you think Matt would go with me?" He hadn't even really considered it. He'd known that Matt wasn't very religious, and then after he'd said 'if there is a God' the day before, Mello had assumed that Matt didn't even consider himself a Christian.

"I don't really know him, but I can tell that he loves you, and I think if you ask him, he'd be more than happy to go," Mrs. Amane smiled softly, and Mello nodded, thinking about it. How was he going to propose this to Matt?

Mello glanced in the direction of the living room. From where he was standing, he could only see one of Matt's feet dangling over the side of the couch, but Mello could imagine him clutching his pillow, still fast asleep. He wondered how Matt would feel about being woken up early to go to church.

"Do you need to borrow the car?" Mrs. Amane asked, bringing him out of his thoughts. She glanced over at him, dumping a measuring cup full of pancake mix into a large blue mixing bowl.

"Uh…it's not that far. We'd be fine walking," he said, surprising himself when 'we' came out instead of 'I.' He had been leaning towards letting Matt sleep, but maybe…

"Well, it's there if you want," Mrs. Amane shrugged, making her way to the refrigerator to retrieve the carton of milk and a couple eggs. "Do you still want chocolate chips in yours?" she asked, and a smile came to Mello's face, remembering all the times he'd stayed over at the Amanes and woken up to find chocolate chip pancakes made for him. For the first time since he'd arrived back in Ohio, he felt at home.

"Of course."

"What about Matt?"

"Probably not." For a reason Mello couldn't quite fathom, Matt had never understood his affinity for chocolate.

"So…how are you and Matt doing?" she asked politely, not at all prying although he could tell that she had been dying to ask since Matt had first shown up at the church.

"Really good actually," he said, a subconscious grin coming to his face. "We've been living together for…" he paused, thinking about it, "over a month now."

"No trying to hide it like you did with Tristan?" she questioned, though by the pleased tone of her voice, it was clear that she assumed not.

"Heh, no…" He couldn't help but chuckle thinking about it. Tristan hadn't been out, and after the way Mello's mother had reacted when he'd told her that he was gay, he agreed that it was best to keep their relationship a secret. For all appearances, they'd just been best friends; no one had ever found about what they did when there wasn't anyone around…

"Good, I'm glad. I remember how much stress you put on yourself worrying that someone would find out. It must be so much easier being open about it."

"Yeah, definitely," he agreed, but as he thought about it, he still couldn't help but worry. "Um…what do you think people will say…if I show up to church with Matt?"

A knowing smile came to Mrs. Amane's lips. "Does it matter?"

Mello let out a sigh, shaking his head. "No, I guess it doesn't." He would manage. He'd spent the first eighteen years of his life sidestepping their unwarranted judgment; a day or two more would hardly make a lasting difference.

"Oh," Mrs. Amane exclaimed, looking over Mello's shoulder to the left, "I'm sorry. Did we wake you?" Mello turned to find a very groggy looking Matt making his way to the kitchen.

Matt shook his head. He rubbed at his eyes, grumbling something about his neck hurting.

"You really didn't have to sleep on the couch…" Mrs. Amane said, sounding apologetic, but Matt shrugged. He winced from the movement, a hand going to the back of his neck.

"Not a big deal…" he mumbled, clearly still half-asleep. An arm snaked around Mello's waist, pulling him closer as Matt leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. "Mornin'."

"Good morning," he returned, tensing slightly. He looked over to Mrs. Amane to see if she had seen, but she was busy with the pancakes. It wasn't that it mattered if she did see; he knew she wouldn't care. Although he had always been open with her, he didn't think she'd ever actually seen him with another guy.

"Somethin' wrong?" Matt asked, looking at him with concern. Mrs. Amane's attention was brought back to them with his question, her expression mirroring Matt's.

"No, well…yeah. No, I-" Mello sputtered, feeling his face grow warm. He paused, taking a moment to collect his thoughts. It shouldn't be this hard. He was over thinking things again. He took a deep breath and opted to just tell Matt what was on his mind: "I think I'm going to go to church…"

Matt gave him a blank stare, clearly not understanding the importance of this. "Um…okay?"

"Do you…maybe want to come with me?"

Another blank stare. It took a moment for it to sink in, Matt's mind still foggy with sleep. "You…want me to go to church with you?"

Mello nodded. "Yeah." But seeing the reluctance in Matt's expression, he quickly added "You don't have to if you don't want to."

"No, I um… It's fine. I'll go," he said, giving Mello a reassuring smile. "What time do we hafta be there?"

"Nine."

Matt looked to the digital clock on the oven. 7:37. He sighed, running a hand over his face. "Mkay," he grumbled and dragged himself from the room, resigning himself to go get ready.

Mrs. Amane smiled over at him, a genuine smile but with just a hint of 'I told you so.'

Mello nodded, his own grin widening. "Yeah, I know."

• • •

"Are you okay?" Mello asked, glancing over at him as he drove the Amanes' car down the small dirt road. Matt sat in the passenger's seat, a concerned expression on his face. He hadn't said a word since they'd gotten in the car.

"Yeah, I'm…fine." He shifted slightly, tugging at the excess fabric of his suit when it bunched from the movement; he looked extremely uncomfortable.

"Matt…what's wrong?" he asked softly, and Matt let out a short sigh, hesitantly turning to Mello.

"Ahre you sure it's okay that I'm going to church?"

"Why wouldn't it be?" Mello asked, his concerns from earlier in the day returning. He wanted to start going to church again on a regular basis, but he didn't know how to tell Matt. Matt wasn't particularly religious; what if he didn't understand?

"I'm…" he paused, his voice dropping to a whisper even though he and Mello were the only two in the car, "not Catholic. I…don't even know if I believe in God."

"That's okay," Mello smiled over at him, and Matt seemed to relax a bit.

"It's not like…" he paused, trying to think of the word, "sacrilegious or somethin' for me to go to church then?"

Mello let out a short laugh. "You're not gonna burst into flames in the middle of Mass if that's what you're worried about," he teased and was glad to see a smile come to Matt's face.

"Naw, I just…didn't know if it was disrespectful or somethin' like that."

"Matt, it's fine," he said gently, pulling into the small church parking lot. "You won't be able to accept communion, but other than that, you can participate in as much of the ceremony as you want to." Matt nodded, and seeing the concerned look return to Matt face, he added: "You don't have to participate in any of it if you don't want to."

Having parked the car, Mello turned the key, removing it from the ignition, and took his seatbelt off, getting ready to go in; Matt, however, did not move. "Ahre _you_ okay with it?"

He turned to Matt, confused. He'd asked Matt to come with him; of course he was okay with it. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know if I believe in God. Does that…bother you?"

"Of course not," Mello said, surprised that Matt seemed so worried about it. "I'd love you no matter what you believed in. Besides, your relationship with whatever you choose to believe in is none of my business."

"But…would you prefer if I was Catholic?" he asked quietly.

"Matt," he said, taking hold of his hand, "I don't care. I didn't ask you to come to church with me because I'm secretly hoping you're gonna convert. I just…didn't want to face them alone."

Matt nodded slowly, understanding. "Then…why didya wanna come if you didn't wanna see them?"

"I feel like I need to. I want to start going to church again…even after we go back home"

"Oh…" This seemed a surprise to Matt, but a smile soon appeared on his lips. "Yeah," he nodded, "I mean, I'll…I'll support you."

"Thank you," he smiled, honestly grateful. He didn't know if that meant Matt would be going with him or not once they got back to California, but he didn't care, just as long as Matt was supportive of his decision to return to his faith.

• • •

They sat in the church with Mello's aunt and uncle, who had waved them over the second they had stepped foot inside, listening to the children's choir as they waited for Mass to start. Adam sat on the other side of his father, but Near wasn't present; much to his mother's dismay, Near hadn't come to church since he and Mello had been in ninth grade.

Mello watched as the youngest division of the children's choir sang "Jesus Loves Me," trying to remember being up there when he'd been little. Some of his earliest memories were of being in the children's choir, but they were vague, cloudy memories distorted by time. He couldn't remember in any sort of detail what it had been like to sing in front of all these people, but he could remember enjoying it. He'd absolutely loved it.

The song came to a close, and a small blond boy at the front of the group went running down the center aisle to where his father was sitting. His father picked him up, hugging him tightly, clearly proud of his son. Several people in congregation awwed at the cute scene; Mello felt sick.

Mello didn't have very many memories of his father as he hadn't seen him since he was five, and the ones he did have were blurry, incomplete fragments. He couldn't remember what his father looked like or if he'd tried to teach Mello how to ride a bike or play catch. He couldn't remember much of anything about his father, but seeing that young boy run to his father like that, he could remember why he'd quit participating in the children's choir after his father had gone to jail.

The priest stood at the pulpit, giving the opening prayer, but Mello could hardly pay attention. He sat there, staring blankly at the spot where the children's choir had stood, the same spot he had stood so many times when he had been younger, until Matt nudged him, giving him a questioning look. Mello forced a smile to his face and shook his head, turning to the priest even though he barely heard a word of what he was saying. All he could think of was what it had felt like when he'd learned at the age of five that he wouldn't be able to see his father anymore.

Mello's father had been integral to his participation in the children's choir. He'd signed Mello up as soon as he'd been old enough, had practiced the songs with him, and had been there to watch every single performance. Mello had loved to sing, but it wasn't just that—he'd loved to sing with his father.

At such a young age, Mello hadn't been able to understand why his father had gone away, but he had understood that it wasn't entirely by choice. With the naïve idealism of a small child, he could remember telling his mother that he wouldn't sing unless daddy was there, believing that this would somehow bring him back.

It wasn't until he was a few years older that he learned he could visit his father in jail if he liked, but by then, he'd all but forgotten the time he'd spent with his father, the fond memories replaced by the angry and oftentimes unjust comments people made. By the time Mello had started anger management and found out why his father was in jail, it was easy to hate him. He blamed his father for his anger problems and feared the day when history would repeat itself and he would find himself behind bars.

It was easy for Mello to hate his father when he'd forgotten how much he loved him.

Mello felt his aunt lean forward to take a hymnal from the pocket on the back of the pew in front of them, having to glance over to see what page they were on. He opened his own hymnal, and for the first time in a very long while, he sang in church.

• • •

Mello shut the car door and stood there, staring up at his old home: a single story building made of brick with a grey roof. It was a modest looking establishment to say the least—a plain façade and a small yard of dying grass. To anyone else, it was nothing but average and could be easily overlooked; to Mello, it was prison.

He heard Matt get out of the car and forced himself to move forward, walking up to the door with the redhead trailing close behind. The door was unlocked, and they walked right in, finding Mello's aunt already sorting through things. Her clothes were a stark difference from that which she'd been wearing at church; a conservative dress and a very simple pair of high heels were replaced by an old t-shirt, a pair of jeans, and tennis shoes. "Oh good, you're here!" she exclaimed upon seeing them. "I was afraid you might not come."

As they had left the church, she had invited Mello to take whatever he liked from his old home after she had verified with him that it was okay to donate whatever was left. Of course he hadn't minded, and he honestly doubted there would be much he wanted to keep. He and Matt had gone back to the Amanes' to change before heading over, dropping Matt's rented suit off on the way. Matt was glad to see it go, explaining that it was the closest one they had to his size on such short notice when Mello asked.

"Yeah, I…wasn't really sure if I wanted to, but I figured this was my last chance…" Mello said, having to force the words out; they seemed to want to stick in his throat.

"Well…" Theresa started, clearly not quite sure what to say to this, "take your time. I plan on being here for most of the day."

"Okay," he said distantly, looking around the living room. Even though his aunt had hardly begun to pack things away, it seemed so empty, a fraction of what it had been.

He wandered through the house like a ghost, barely aware of Matt walking only a couple paces behind him. It looked the same as Mello remembered it, but everything seemed so different now. It didn't have the same oppressive atmosphere that he was so accustomed to. It was no longer a prison but a graveyard.

Mello found himself in front of the door to his old bedroom, and his hand hesitantly went to the doorknob. It didn't feel real, being back in the house he'd grown up in, almost like it was a dream, but the doorknob was real. He felt it under his palm—cold metal that sapped the heat from his hand, bringing him back to reality.

He turned the knob and pushed the door open. His room was exactly as he'd left it, everything he hadn't been able to take with him where he remembered it. His feet took him to his bed, and he sat down, running his fingertips over the dark blue comforter. It was almost as if he'd never left.

But there was Matt, standing awkwardly in the doorway, uncertain of what to do: proof that Mello had managed to escape. "Um…" Matt started, looking from Mello down to his feet. "D'you…want me to give you a minute…or somethin'?"

"No, it's…fine." He looked around his room, trying to imagine what it would have been like if he'd met Matt here in his hometown. Things would have likely been much like they had been with Tristan…trying to hide their relationship, sneaking around, making out on his bed when his mother was away at work. He was thankful that hadn't been the case. "Shut the door," he told Matt, who gave him a questioning look, but complied, nonetheless. He came to sit on the bed next to Mello. "I want to visit my dad in jail." Matt's eyes grew wide in surprise, but he didn't say anything. "And…I'd like you to come with me."

Matt opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but quickly closed it, licking his lower lip nervously, his eyebrows knitted together in concern. He nodded slowly, finally managing a cautious "Okay…"

"You don't have to…" he said, disappointed by Matt's reaction, his eyes dropping to his knees.

"No," Matt said quickly, and Mello looked back up, surprised by the force behind that one simple word. "I mean… I just… Everythin' you've said about your father…" Matt trailed off, not knowing how to finish. He looked to Mello, concern written across his face, and the blond shook his head, understanding. It wasn't that Matt didn't want to go with him; he didn't want Mello to go and risk getting hurt.

"I think…I might have misjudged him," he said slowly. Doubt flashed across Matt's face, and Mello knew exactly what he was thinking: How could he think that when nothing had changed?

But Matt was wrong. Everything had changed.

"I couldn't remember much about my dad—I still can't," he said with a wry smile, "but that's the thing… Most of what I 'knew' about him came from what other people said. My mom would never talk about him until after I took things into my own hands and looked up what he had gone to jail for, and then all I could get out of her was 'Let's pray you don't turn out like him.' My entire life, I assumed he was a bad person because everyone always said things like that. He was in jail, so he _must_ be a terrible person.

"After I had to go to anger management, I spent so much time hoping I wouldn't end up like him. I blamed him for how I was, and I dunno…maybe there is something genetic to it and I did inherit that part of him, but…I made my own decisions; those were _my_ mistakes that landed me in anger management…just like he made some bad decisions that got him thrown in jail. I don't think he was the awful human being I grew up thinking he was…

"I remembered something in church today," he said and watched as Matt's concerned expression turned to one of astonishment. A small smile came to Mello's lips. "Yeah, I uh, told you about being in the choir at church when I was little before," he said, and Matt nodded. "But I forgot that my dad was the one who encouraged me to sing, I forgot that we used to practice the songs together, I forgot that I'd refused to sing after he went to jail because I thought it would somehow bring him back…I forgot how much he loved me… Matt, I have to do this. I can't leave without seeing him."

Mello felt Matt's hand on his, as the redhead nodded. "Okay," he smiled. "And of course I'll go with you if you want."

"Thank you," he breathed out. Matt only leaned over, kissing Mello softly, drawing back slightly to look at him before moving forward again.

It was slow and soft, Mello savoring the way Matt's lips moved over his. He missed Matt. Things had been so strained over the last couple days; it was nice to return to what they'd had.

Mello had never intended to hurt Matt. He'd broken up with him over the phone that night in the hotel because he'd felt that he'd had to; in his mind, he hadn't had any other options. Another grain of sand added to the desert of mistakes Mello had made in his life.

It had left things tense between them, a tension that had been slowly melting away over the past two days until Mello finally pushed the last of it away, letting Matt in once again. He finally had Matt back.

"Hello?" Mello heard as the bedroom door clicked open, followed shortly by "Oh, um, sorry! Very sorry!" He broke away from Matt to see his aunt retreating from the room, closing the door behind her.

Mello could only sit there for a moment, stunned by what had just happened. He would have expected a much more severe reaction from his aunt. Sure, they'd only been making out, but even so…if his mother had found him making out with another guy on his bed, she would have kicked him out of the house for good.

Mello let out a sigh and pushed himself up from the bed, a very red Matt following him out the door and down the hall. "Aunt Theresa?" he said, venturing out into the living room. He found her sitting on the couch looking rather frazzled. She jumped when he said her name.

"Yes?" she forced a smile to her face.

"Sorry…about that…"

"No, you don't have to be sorry," she said, seeming to relax a little. "It's your house, after all."

He nodded awkwardly. That had never made it alright before. It had been his mother's house, not his, and she had let it be known to him that it was her house and, therefore, her rules.

"Have you decided what you're going to do with it?" his aunt asked.

"Do with…what? The house? Is burning it down an option?" He heard Matt snicker to his left. Theresa did not look amused.

"I'm serious, Mihael. We need to get this figured out before you leave, assuming you do plan on going back to California."

"I do," he said immediately; there was no way in Hell he was going to stay in Ohio. "Plan on going back, I mean."

"Okay. Then what do you want to do? Do you want to sell the house?" she asked, sounding as if she were losing her patience.

"What do you mean?" he scoffed, "It's not mine to sell." He couldn't ever imagine his mother leaving him the house, and he was honestly surprised his aunt was even asking about it; he assumed his mother would leave everything to her sister.

"Yes, it is. Lillian left everything to you in her will."

Mello's jaw dropped. He stood there staring at her, trying to comprehend the words his aunt had just spoken. "Excuse me, what?" he choked out.

"She left you everything. The house, all her belongings, what little she had in the bank…everything. Why are you so surprised? You're her son, after all."

Mello could only get out a short hum that sounded almost like he was clearing his throat in response. His mother had left him everything… He couldn't believe it.

Matt's hand was suddenly at his back. "Ahre you okay, Mels?"

Mello turned to him, a smile slowly appearing on his face. He threw his arms around Matt, absolutely ecstatic. He knew that this by no means made him rich, but for now, any monetary problems he had would be absolved. The money he owed Takada, his books for the upcoming semester, the part of his tuition his scholarship wasn't covering…none of it was an issue anymore. And his mother had been the one to save him. "I'm great, Mattie. Absolutely wonderful."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Firstly, thank you to everyone who took the time to explain what the sparrow represented to them. A lot of you came up with some very beautiful representations, and it meant a lot to me for you to share them :3

Second, I'd like to clear something up. It seems that there was a little confusion over the status of this story. Obviously I just posted another chapter, so it is most definitely _not over_. There are still several things I want to cover in this story before I actually do end it. In fact, there should still be five chapters _plus_ an epilogue.

However, I'm not sure how quickly I'll be able to update. The fall semester has started for me, plus I have work, plus I found out a couple days ago that I'm getting a promotion so I have to go through training for my new position on top of my normal hours next weekend. So um…yeah, things are kinda hectic, so I apologize ahead of time for any late updates in the future.

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>HeroofTwilight'sgf, DarkAngelJudas, CatatonicVanity, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, brightnight003, theheartstourniquet, Ironicsheep, Evidence Of Rain, Awesomenessknowsnobounds, cupcakes4kendall, Bloo Kisses, Don't Forget Hope, teB360, HiDiNgFrOmYoU, once-upon-a-dream012, kiki1070, lastbloom, That one person, Greystainedwindows, and two anonymous reviewers


	25. Chapter 23: Reunion

Mello: The Reckoning by Shapes & Colors  
>Matt: Air by Rogue<p>

**Chapter 23: Reunion**

Mello drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, staring up at the red light as Matt fiddled with the radio, trying to find a station that wasn't absolutely terrible: a battle he'd been waging practically since they'd pulled out of the Amane's driveway. Without a word, he finally settled on something he knew they would both be able to tolerate: a soft rock station.

The light turned green, and Mello continued down the road in the Amanes' car. He stared straight ahead, trying to concentrate on the expanse of concrete ahead of him, but despite his best efforts, the same thoughts he'd been having since the night before kept creeping back into his mind.

He'd imagined how visiting his father would go a thousand different ways since he'd made the decision to do so. The images his mind produced ranged from happy reunions and reminiscing about past events that Mello only had the vaguest memory of…to the impossible realization that his father was in fact the crass, selfish, disturbed human being Mello had assumed him to be growing up. Each time he tried to imagine seeing his father again for the first time since he'd been five, it came out differently.

And it was maddening.

He'd been awake until close to 2:00 in the morning thinking about it, driving himself insane over it, and had woken up a little after 9:00 wondering why he'd ever thought that this would be a good idea.

He knew he didn't have to—no one would hold him too it—but at the same time, he knew that he had no other choice. If he left Ohio without visiting his father, he would always regret it. So he had to, and that was all there was to it.

But as he pulled into the little public parking lot near the county jail, he couldn't help but wonder if he'd made a mistake. What if he had remembered incorrectly? He'd been five, after all. Wouldn't it be wiser to trust what the adults had said when he'd been growing up? His father was a lowlife. It wasn't worth visiting him in jail.

"Mels…?" Mello turned to see Matt looking at him with concern.

He didn't know what to say. He sat there, paralyzed, his lips pressed into a thin line. His whole body felt tense. What if he were making a mistake?

"Mels…you don't hafta do this." But Matt was wrong. He did have to do this. He'd already decided that. And yet he couldn't bring himself to get out of the car.

He looked away from Matt, trying to relax, and found his fingers still clutching the steering wheel. He slowly loosened the tension in his hands until he could remove them, setting them in his lap. He shook his head slowly, playing with the set of keys still dangling from the ignition. "I need to do this," he said, not sure if he was trying to convince himself or Matt.

Matt pulled Mello's hand away from the keys, lacing their fingers together. He pulled it up to his lips, kissing the back of Mello's hand. "Then I believe you can."

• • •

Mello sat looking around the miserable little reception area: faded, worn out chairs lined up in six short rows, a small table at the end of one of the rows holding several outdated magazines, the florescent lights overhead bleaching the color out of everything they touched. Aside from the old woman who sat in the corner, quietly reading one of the magazines, and the guard standing in the corner by the door that lead further into the prison, he and Matt were the only two in the room. It wasn't someplace he wanted to spend five minutes in, let alone thirty.

For as nervous as he'd been going in, most of his anxiety had dissipated over the past half hour. They'd checked in, having to give the receptionist their driver's licenses for what Mello presumed to be some sort of abridged background check, and told her who they were there to see and their relation to the inmate they wished to visit. They'd exchanged a brief look before Mello had hesitantly volunteered the information that he was Isaac Keehl's son…and that Matt was a family friend. It was easier than explaining why Matt was really there, a reason Mello wasn't even sure that he understood completely himself.

But that was thirty minutes ago, and it seemed the receptionist had all but forgotten them. He leaned forward in his chair to try to see into the small window the receptionist was hiding behind. He couldn't see what she was doing, but it didn't seem like she was too concerned with doing whatever it was very quickly.

He flopped back in his seat with a disgruntled sigh, crossing his arms over his chest and slouching down into the uncomfortable chair, catching Matt's attention. He looked up from the game he was playing on his cell phone to Mello. "You okay?"

"Fine," he grumbled, looking back over at the receptionist window again. He didn't even care anymore; he just wanted to get this over with.

Matt poked him in the ribs, making him jump. He turned back to Matt to find him holding out his cell phone, his game paused on the screen, with a small smile on his face. "Hmm?" he offered.

"Mihael Keehl and…Mail Jeevas?" the receptionist called, pronouncing Matt's name carefully and uncertainly but, nonetheless, incorrectly. Mello couldn't blame her; he'd been rather confused himself the first time he'd seen Matt's given name.

Hearing what was clearly supposed to have been his name, Matt let out a sigh and pocketed his cell phone. Mello followed him up to the receptionist window where they were handed back their driver's licenses.

The receptionist launched into a well rehearsed speech, explaining the rules and regulations set forth for visitors. They would be assigned a locker to put their belongings in—wallets, cell phones, etc.—and would have to go through a metal detector before continuing to the visiting room. She told them that they would only have half an hour with the inmate, and when they explained that Mello planned on going in by himself to start, she said that Matt would have the opportunity to go in at half time if they so chose.

She rattled off her instructions, and the guard took them to a small side room that held a few banks of lockers before ushering Mello off down a hall, through a metal detector, and finally to the visiting room. It was a simple room that held several small rectangular tables with two short benches on either side; a clock ticked from the wall, keeping the time with precision. The guard that had led Mello in remained standing by the door they had came in though and motioned for him to take a seat.

He sat at one of the open tables, listening to the chatter of the visits going on around him, waiting. It was surreal. He'd considered visiting his father in jail when he'd been younger—he'd considered what he would say to the father who'd abandoned him, but none of that seemed to apply any longer. He had no idea what he would say.

Would he recognize his father when he saw him? Would he be able to remember more about his childhood? Questions swam in his mind as the apprehension he'd felt when they'd first entered the jail came rushing back, flooding his gut and making his insides squirm. What if he was making a mistake?

The door on the other side of the room was pushed open, and a man in an orange jumpsuit stepped in. His blond hair was pulled flat against his skull in a low pony tail, his slightly receding hairline evident. Crow's feet and dark circles bordered his otherwise youthful blue eyes; graying stubble covered his jaw line and upper lip. He looked haggard and tired, a confused expression on his face until he saw Mello sitting at the little table in the center of the room. His eyebrows shot up in surprise and disbelief, emphasizing the lines etched into his forehead.

Mello found it hard to look at him. He didn't recognize his father—seeing him again sparked no new memories of what he had looked like when Mello had been a child—but the resemblance was undeniable. It was like looking into a mirror that showed him his future, and he couldn't stand it. Seeing his father standing there in a prisoner's orange jumpsuit brought back all his old fears. What if he ended up like his father?

He heard his father sit down on the bench opposite him but couldn't bring himself to look back over at him. Instead, he sat staring off to his father's left, his lips a thin line and his jaw set tight, trying to hold back the tears that were welling up.

"Mihael?" his father questioned, disbelief in his raspy voice.

"Mello…" he corrected, swallowing thickly. "I go by Mello now."

"So that nickname stuck then?"

Mello looked to his father in surprise, having to turn away again just as quickly. He'd thought people hadn't started calling him that until after his father had already gone to jail. "Yeah…" he replied simply, not trusting himself with any more words than that.

"How have you-" he started, but Mello couldn't take it anymore.

"How could you do that to us?" he demanded. It was a juvenile question, one a younger version of himself had been dying to ask for years. "How could you-" but the words caught in his throat as his tears threatened to spill over.

His father looked at him sadly. "I'm sorry…"

"Sorry doesn't _mean_ anything!" he shouted and saw one of the guards standing along the perimeters of the room take a step forward out of the corner of his eye. He found himself standing, his hands gripping the edge of the table in the now near silent room. Ashamed of himself, he slowly loosened his hands from the table and sat back down, ignoring the stares of the other visitors and inmates.

"I know… Whatever I say won't even begin to make up for it, but it's all I have…" he said quietly, and Mello hesitantly brought his eyes up to meet his father's.

"You're right… It doesn't make up for it at all." The older man lowered his eyes, regret written across his face. But he couldn't escape that easily. "I've spent my entire life hoping I wouldn't turn out like you. Did you know I started anger management when I was sixteen?" His father looked up, his eyes wide in shock; the answer was clearly 'no.' "Do you know anything about me?"

His father only looked at him with remorse.

"That's okay," Mello said flatly. "You don't have to answer."

"Mihael…Mello, I didn't want to leave you and your mother," he said, his eyes pleading with Mello to believe him.

"Yeah, I know… But that doesn't change the fact that you _weren't there_." He felt a tear escape, rolling down his cheek, and quickly moved to brush it away. "You know mom's dead, right?" he said quietly.

His father winced. "Yeah… That I do know…"

Mello shook his head slowly. He didn't know what he'd planned on getting out of this visit, but he was starting to think that Matt had been right to question it. He felt awful.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there for you growing up… I know that doesn't help anything, and you don't have to forgive me, but I want you to know that I wish I could have been a part of your life… I'd still like to if you gave me the chance…"

Mello could only stare, a million things going through his mind at once. What it would have been like to have his father in his life, what could have happened if he'd visited him earlier, the way he remembered feeling as a young boy when he'd first found out that he wouldn't be able to see his father again…how much those words really did mean to him…

Mello tried to say something, but he couldn't find his voice. Instead, he nodded, hoping that that would somehow convey everything he was feeling.

"I wish I could have watched you grow up… I would give anything to go back and change how I handled things so I could have been there for you and your mother…because you're right. I…I don't really know anything about you. And I hate myself for it."

Mello looked across the table at his father. He was no longer the monster Mello had believed him to be; he was the man who had encouraged him to sing when he'd been little, the father who had loved and cared for him. "I wish I would have visited sooner…"

His father smiled across the table. "That's okay. You'll always do things in your own time…just like when you were younger." Something in Mello's expression must have betrayed his confusion at these words because his father let out a soft laugh. "You were always so stubborn. Wouldn't do anything until you were good and ready." Mello could feel his cheeks grow warm. He'd lived eighteen years without embarrassing stories of him as a little kid; he wasn't sure that he wanted to start now. "But that was a long time ago… How are things now? Do you still like singing as much as you did when you were little?"

"Well, I uh…quit the church choir after you, uh…went to jail," he started hesitantly, finding it strange to talk about such things with his father. "But I've actually been working on a song with Matt. We-" He stopped suddenly, realizing what he'd just said. Matt was just out in the lobby, and if he did join them, Mello was sure it would get out that they were dating. But he'd just gotten his father back; he didn't want to lose him again if he reacted like his mother had when she'd found out he was gay. "…We went to a studio to record it last week," he finally finished, lowering his gaze to the table.

"That's great!" his father exclaimed, clearly very proud of him. "So are you trying to do something with music then?"

"No…not exactly," he said, half glad that his father hadn't asked who Matt was. But at the same time, he knew he would have to tell him eventually. "Matt's the one doing the music thing. He just asked me to sing in one of his songs. I'm thinking about trying to do something with my writing, but I don't really know that it's good enough…"

"You write?"

"Um, yeah… Mostly short stories…"

"Well, if that's what you want to do, you should. I'd love to read something of yours sometime."

"Yeah, I'll send you something when I get back home." It was hard to say those words; for the first time since he'd arrived back in his hometown, he felt sad that he would be leaving. "I, uh, moved out to California a couple months ago," he explained. "I got a scholarship to UCLA, so I'll be going there in the fall."

"Wow! Congratulations! So have you been living out there on your own all this time?"

"No, um…Misa's been going to UCLA, so I moved in with her…" he tried. It wasn't a lie…it was just only half of the truth.

"Who's Misa? You're girlfriend?"

At first, Mello was surprised that his father didn't remember Misa. He should have—they had been inseparable even back then—but then he realized that his father had gone to jail the summer before he met Misa. "No, she's…she's been my best friend since first grade, but we're just friends."

"Are you dating anyone then?"

"Um…" Mello could feel his heart pound against his ribs. It would be so easy to just say 'no,' and that would be the end of it, but… "Yeah, actually, uh…Matt. I'm dating Matt…"

His father just looked at him for what felt like a century, and Mello thought he might be angry. He was petrified; his fears were coming true. He should have just not told him. It would have been that easy. Matt didn't _have to_ come in to meet his father, and if he did, he was just Mello's roommate, a good friend. It would have been-

His father slowly parted his lips as if preparing himself for what he was about to say. "Matt…is your boyfriend?"

"Yeah…"

"So you're…"

"Yeah… I'm…I'm gay," Mello said quietly, and his father slowly nodded as if trying to find a way to process it.

"Ah…um…o-okay…"

"Okay?" Mello said in disbelief. It was hard to imagine that his father was okay with it. Surely that wasn't even a possibility.

"Well…I can't say I…understand, but…" he said, proceeding slowly, choosing his words carefully, "I want you to be happy, and if this Matt guy is what makes you happy, then…yeah, I guess I'm…okay with it."

"Thank you," Mello breathed out. It was clear that his father was having a bit of a hard time with it, but for him to offer that much, it meant the world to Mello.

"So…how long have you and…Matt been together?"

"Almost two months."

"Okay…and um…" the older man paused, struggling with his words, "how did you, uh, meet?"

"Through Misa…" he smiled, remembering it. Misa had been the one to drag him to that rave, and Misa had been the one to introduce him to Matt when they'd run into him on their way into the apartment building; she'd encouraged him to pursue his feelings for Matt even when he had doubted himself—he really did owe so much to her.

"So…" His father cleared his throat, and Mello wondered if he was stalling. He said he was okay with it, but Mello couldn't help but feel like he really wasn't. His father was dragging through the conversation, forcing the words out. He clearly wasn't entirely comfortable with it to say the least.

"We can talk about something else…if you want," Mello offered, his voice dropping.

"No," his father said quickly. "It's fine. I…I'm just not used to it is all."

Mello looked at him, searching for something that would tell him if his father was lying. "Please just…tell me if you're really okay with it."

"Mihael- Mello," he corrected himself, more quickly this time. "You're my son. This isn't something I would have chosen for you, but if you're…gay, I'll support you," he said, sincerity in his voice. "I just wish I could have been there…"

Mello's heart dropped, and he wasn't sure if he was disappointed in his father for thinking that way or if he should feel bad for even mentioning it in the first place, for bringing his father to this conclusion. "It's not your fault…" Mello said quietly. "I just…I've never been attracted to girls. You couldn't have changed that…"

His father looked to him seriously. "You don't know that."

"It's not a bad thing, you know. I love Matt…" he said firmly, trying to make his father understand. "You said you just wanted me to be happy… well I'm happy. For the first time in a long while, I really am happy with where I am."

His father nodded, a short hum coming out in response, and Mello thought he had failed. He wouldn't be able to make his father understand. He looked away in defeat, the clock on the wall catching his attention. It had almost been fifteen minutes. He'd have to decide if he wanted Matt to come in soon. "Good," his father said softly, bringing Mello's attention back to him. His father was smiling. "I'm happy for you."

"Really?" Mello breathed out in disbelief. Maybe it was possible…

"Absolutely. Why are you so surprised?" his father said, his smile widening. "I don't care if you're gay, Mello. You're my son, and I'll love you no matter what."

Mello could feel tears well up in his eyes. That was all he'd ever wanted to hear. The years spent hating his father were gone, and with that, he knew that everyone who had ever told him that his father was a terrible human being was wrong. He looked to his father, not knowing what else to say. All he could manage was a simple "Thank you."

"Fifteen minutes," the guard who had led him in said, suddenly appearing behind Mello. His pulse quickened with the realization.

"Do you…want to meet him?" Mello ventured; he could hear the hope in his own hesitant words.

"Who? Matt?"

"Yeah… He came here with me for the funeral," Mello explained, deciding it was easier to say this than to go into everything that had actually happened. He didn't have time for that. He needed to know now.

Surprise still written across his face, Isaac Keehl nodded. "Oh, uh…yeah, sure."

Mello immediately turned to the guard and nodded, a huge grin on his face. He felt like a kid in a candy store. All his fears about this visit had been for naught. Things were turning out better than he'd ever hoped they would.

He watched as the guard took the walkie-talkie from his belt and said something into it, immediately receiving a response that sounded like "On the way" from where Mello was sitting.

He turned back to his father who suddenly looked rather nervous. "Are you sure about this?" he asked Mello. "Are you sure you want him to meet me…like this?" he looked around the concrete room and to his orange jumpsuit. Admittedly, it wasn't the best of situations, but it was all they had.

"Yeah… I've thought a lot about this, and I guess I only made a decision about a minute ago, but…yeah, I really do want you to meet him," Mello smiled, and his father let out a nervous sigh, trying to mirror Mello's happy expression.

The door opened behind Mello, and he turned to see Matt walk in, accompanied by yet another guard. His goggles, having been left in the locker, were absent from their perch atop his head, and it looked as if he had tried to smooth his unruly hair to moderate success. Mello caught his apprehensive gaze and gave him an encouraging smile which seemed to put him at easy if only slightly.

The guard who had escorted Matt in turned and left as the redhead made his way to the table at the center of the room. Mello's father stood as Matt approached and held out his hand. "Isaac Keehl," he said formally, and Matt hesitantly reached forward to shake hands with him.

"Matt Jeevas," he returned, clearly not quite sure what to make of the exchange.

"Good to meet you." Mello's father took a seat, and Matt followed suit.

"Oh, uh, yeah. Good to meet you too," he offered and slowly looked between Mello and his father. "So…um…"

"He knows," Mello said, knowing Matt would be wondering how much he had told his father about who he was.

"Oh…okay…" Matt said, and Mello couldn't tell if it had helped to lessen his nerves or made him even more anxious.

"So I hear you're trying to do something in the music industry?" the older man ventured, and Matt sat up a little straighter in his chair.

"Yeah… I'm, uh, actually plannin' on releasin' my first album later this week."

"And the song Mello helped you with will be on the album?"

Matt's eyes widened in surprise. He glanced over at Mello, not having expected this to have come up. "Yeah, it is."

"Thank you."

Matt gave him a questioning look. "You don't hafta thank me. Mello's the one who helped me out."

"Maybe," he smiled, "but you're the one who helped him start singing again, so thank you."

Matt visibly relaxed in his chair, and Mello reached over to take his hand. "You're welcome, sir," he said, a small smile coming to his face. "I can't imagine it any other way."

• • •

By the time Mello walked out of the county jail, a weight of several years had been lifted from his shoulders. He no longer carried the burden of hatred towards his father. In fact, he had been disappointed when the guard had informed him and Matt that their time was up. He had given his father a hug for the first time in more than thirteen years, an experience that had turned out to be slightly awkward after so much time.

He'd promised to start writing to him and to send one of his short stories with the first letter. The former, he was quite excited about; the latter, not so much. He knew once he and Matt returned home, he would have to begin wading through all his old writing to select the piece most worthy: a process that would no doubt take some time. Or perhaps he would try to write something new. He wanted to start writing again, this time not for a class but for himself.

But he would have time to think about that, and in returning to the Amane's car to begin the drive back, he was simultaneously sad to go and positively ecstatic with how well things had gone. "I can't believe how much I misjudged him!" he exclaimed, climbing into the car. "He's great, right? He didn't even care about us being together. I mean, he had a little bit of a hard time with it to start, but that's normal since he had no idea that I was into guys, right?" He heard Matt chuckle to his right as he slipped the key into the ignition. "What?" he questioned, turning to Matt as he started the car.

"D'you wanna take a couple seconds to breathe? Don't wantcha to pass out on the way back, crash into one of those cows we saw on the way here," Matt said, letting out a laugh.

"Oh, and I suppose it would be _so _much safer for you to drive?" Mello joked, pulling out of the parking space and starting down the road. "Speed limits are just suggestions, right?"

"Hey, it's not like I'm a bad driver…I'm just a reckless driver."

"Is there a difference?"

"Yeah, as a matter of fact, there is. I have never got into an accident. Hell, I've never even gotten a ticket. Bad drivers get caught; I don't. Besides, I'd never do somethin' that would endanger my cahr."

Mello glanced over to find a self-satisfied smirk on Matt's face. "Oh, right, your precious _car_. Not 'I'd never do anything to put _you_ in danger.'"

"Oh right! That too," Matt said as if he hadn't even thought of it before adding in "I love you" and giving him a wide apologetic grin.

"Sure you do," Mello said, feigning offense.

Matt leaned over to kiss him on the cheek. "Of course I do. And I'm just kiddin'. I know you're excited about seein' your dad again and all."

"So…what did you think?" he asked, suddenly serious.

"I think…I was wrong, and I'm really glad you decided to do this. He actually turned out to be a pretty cool guy. And…I'm really glad you let me meet him."

"It didn't look like it when you first walked in," Mello teased.

"Okay, so I was nervous to meet your dad. I can't be the first person in the world to be nervous about meetin' their boyfriend's dad."

"Probably not," Mello agreed. He, for one, was terrified by the idea of meeting Matt's parents, and that wouldn't be a short half hour visit; they'd be staying with them the weekend of Tegan's birthday.

"So, uh…d'you…think he liked me?" Matt asked hesitantly, and Mello immediately glanced over in surprise.

"Were you worried that my father wouldn't _approve _of you?"

"Naw, of course not…well…yeah, maybe."

"Really?"

"You just seem to have this new respect for what he thinks, and I just…I dunno…"

"Matt," he said softly, dropping a hand from the steering wheel to search for Matt's, "it doesn't matter. Yeah, I'm glad he seemed to like you, but even if he didn't, that wouldn't change anything." But when he smiled back over at Matt, his concerned expression fading from his face, Mello couldn't help but wonder what it would be like when their situations were reversed. "I mean…what would you think if your parents didn't like me?" he ventured hesitantly as the car was brought to a stop for a red light, and it was Matt's turn to look over in surprise.

"D'you really think I give a fuck about what my parents think?" Matt said letting out a laugh. "If I did, I wouldn't've rebuilt my cahr, I wouldn't be goin' to college all the way on the other side of the country, and I sure as hell wouldn't be tryin' to do anythin' with my music."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Mello said, feeling silly for even mentioning it.

"Hey…Mels…" he said, his voice dropping, bringing Mello's attention back over to him. "You're not worried about meetin' my parents, ahre you?"

"Don't act like that's so surprising after how you reacted to meeting my father."

"Mels," he said and leaned over to kiss Mello when he looked over at him again. "Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter what they think. Besides…" he said, a devious smirk coming to his lips, "Tegan's the one you'll hafta impress."

"Oh good! Now I just have to figure out how to impress a seven-year-old," he exclaimed sarcastically.

"Hey, she'll be eight. Stakes ahre raised. It's like…ten times hahrder to impress eight-year-olds…prob'ly," he said, trying to sound serious and failing miserably at it.

"I'm sure," Mello laughed, and continued down the road as the light changed to green.

And even though he knew Matt was joking, Tegan would be the one he would have to impress. She meant the world to Matt, and if anyone's opinion mattered, it would be hers.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Sorry it has been so long! I definitely didn't expect to have to take the entire semester off from writing, but I'm hoping to be able to actually update on a semi-regular basis now. I know, I know, I've said this before ^^' However, I already know I won't be able to post the next chapter for a couple weeks, but in the meantime, I do have a new oneshot out called "The Lights Above" if anyone is interested in checking that out :)

One last thing…I've decided not to do the Misa x Takada spin-off, at least not right away. I'm not saying there is no possible way that I will ever write it, nor am I guaranteeing that I will eventually return to it; I just can't write it right now. Even though I received much more support for it than I thought I would, there is a different story that I want to write that I feel takes precedence. If anyone is so inclined, I have a little bit of information about my upcoming writing plans and my next story on my profile page.

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>HeroofTwilight'sgf, Unterseeboot, DarkAngelJudas, brightnight003, CatatonicVanity, Lotta Devon, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, BlOo KiSsEs, TheShadows2523, kiki1070, Steel Corpses, S-AcidRain, once-upon-a-dream012, teB360, WammygirlZ, Carlazard, Jacey21


	26. Chapter 24: Homecoming

Matt: Hearts by Matt Nash, Dave Silcox & Tom Peppe  
>Mello: Alter The Ending by Dashboard Confessional<p>

**Chapter 24: Homecoming**

"You and Matt are welcome anytime," Mrs. Amane was saying from the driver's seat as they made their way to the airport. "Maybe next time you can convince Misa to come with you?"

"I'll do my best," Mello said earnestly. He knew she'd never particularly liked their little town, preferring the big city lifestyle of Los Angeles—he had felt the same way. He'd spent the first eighteen years of his life there, and during those eighteen years, it had never felt like home. Yet over the course of the past week, he'd searched the town, reacquainting himself with it, and had found that his roots had been there all along, hiding just under the surface of the soil. He and Misa had wanted to get away for different reasons, but it had turned out that he had been wrong; maybe she had been too. At the very least, she'd never hear the end of it from him if she didn't visit her parents for Christmas.

"Thank you, Mello," she sighed, not sounding at all too hopeful. "Well, at least I got to see my son again," she said, a soft smile tugging the corners of her lips upward. "And it was lovely to meet you, Matt," she said, glancing in the rearview mirror to the back seat. "Matt?"

Mello turned around to find Matt asleep, his head tilted back against the headrest, mouth slightly open. "Matt!" He pulled his cell phone from his pocket and tossed it at him. It fell in Matt's lap, and he awoke with a jolt. "It was your idea to catch an early flight back to California," Mello reminded him as Matt threw Mello's phone back at him. Mello had been more surprised than anyone that Matt had volunteered to wake up early. Of course, 'early' was only 8:00 am to catch their 10:45 flight.

"Yeah, well, that was an _awful_ idea," he grumbled, settling back down into his seat. "Sorry, Mrs. Amane," Matt yawned. "It's just…early, y'know?"

"You don't have to apologize, dear. But we're almost there, so you may want to reconsider returning to your nap." The airport could, in fact, be seen at a distance down the road to the right.

"Yeah," Matt sighed and sat up a bit more, doing what he could to stretch in the confines of the small car. "Thanks for lettin' us stay with you, Mrs. Amane. And tell Mr. Amane I said thanks too."

She looked back at him in the rearview mirror and repeated what she had told Mello. "Anytime, dear. Anytime."

• • •

Mello sat down in the waiting area of their terminal, fishing his phone out of his pocket. Matt flopped into the seat next to him, slouching down and crossing his arms over his chest. Mello had to suppress a smile; it almost looked like Matt was pouting. "It's not that bad," Mello insisted.

"I didn't get up at eight in the mornin' to wait around in a stupid fuckin' airport," Matt grumbled, and Mello shrugged. He didn't want to be stuck there any more than Matt did, but there was nothing they could do.

"Okay, well, you can sit there and pout. I'm gonna call Misa and let her know we're gonna be late."

"I'm not poutin'…" Matt said, but Mello ignored him, finding Misa's number in the list of contacts he had saved on his phone and pressing 'call.'

The phone rang several times, and Mello was certain he would end up getting Misa's voicemail. On what had to have been the last ring, a very groggy sounding Misa finally picked up. "Mello, what do you want? Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Oh, right…" He'd forgotten to take into account the time difference. He glanced at the clock on the wall in the terminal. 10:05. Misa would probably just be getting up around 10:00 am, California time; she certainly wouldn't be up at 7:00. "Sorry," he said, "I just wanted to let you know our flight's delayed."

"That sucks," Misa yawned on the other end. "When do you think you'll be back them?"

"It was supposed to be delayed about an hour and a half, but they just tacked on another half hour. I'll give you a call again right before we board so you have an idea of when to pick us up."

"Yay," she said flatly.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked with a laugh.

"It means I just love hearing from you so much that I can barely contain my excitement. Can I go back to sleep now?"

"Yeah, sure," he said, but Matt nudged him with his elbow and held out his hand. "Hold on. Matt wants to talk to you."

Matt took the phone from him and, without preamble, demanded, "You have my stuff, right?" Misa had obviously not understood what this meant because he added a panicked sounding "The CDs, the shirts…y'know, the stuff you were s'posed to be takin' care of for me while I was gone." Matt soon relaxed back down into his seat. "And you checked to make sure everythin' was there?" he asked, voice much calmer. "Yeah, alright… Bye." He flipped the phone shut and handed it back to Mello, running a hand through his hair and letting out a frustrated sigh.

"Everything alright?" Mello asked though he was already pretty sure he knew the answer.

"Yeah…yeah, I'm fine," Matt said, leaning over to dig through his carry-on: the small duffle bag he'd packed a couple changes of clothes in when he'd left LA almost a week ago to go after Mello. A few seconds later, he pulled out a pack of gum, popping a piece into his mouth and dropping the pack back into the open bag.

Matt had been doing very well since he'd quit smoking. He'd gotten to the point where he could just use the patch rather than making his own rules and doubling up on the patch and gum when he felt like he needed it, and as far as Mello knew, he'd never cheated, trying to sneak in a cigarette. He did, however, keep the last pack of gum with him as a sort of security blanket, just in case. Mello hadn't seen him use it in a couple weeks, so when he caught a glimpse of the packaging, he immediately knew something was off, more so than he'd originally thought.

"We're not gonna be stuck here all day," Mello tried gently, reaching for Matt's hand. "Just a couple more hours." He knew Matt was anxious to get back home and make sure everything was set for the album release; that was why he'd wanted to take an early flight back.

"You don't get it." Matt's voice sounded weary. "It's not just 'make sure the CDs are all there'—I mean, I'll feel a lot better about it when I actually _see_ them, but Misa said she has 'em, and I trust her enough to hold onto 'em. But…I have less than 48 hours, and I have no fuckin' clue what I'm gonna do for the rave tomorrow night. I'm stuck in a fuckin' airport in the middle of fuckin' Ohio while my computer and all my other equipment is back in LA." His voice gradually rose as he spoke until a woman sitting not too far from them looked up from her book to shoot him a dirty look. Mello wasn't sure if Matt even noticed as he let out a ragged breath and rubbed at his eyes with his free hand. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, looking back over at Mello. "I'm just…tired and…nervous about it…playin' my own music and all…"

"We could've left earlier if you wanted…"

"No, I wanted you to take as much time as you needed here. I'm not tryin' to blame you for it or anythin'… If you'd said you wanted to stay here another week, I wouldda without a second thought. Might've had to buy another change of clothes though. I think Mrs. Amane got tired of me usin' her washin' machine every other day," he said, and a small smile came to his lips.

"I'm sure it was fine. And I'm sure you'll be fine tomorrow. You can sleep on the plane and work on whatever you still have to do when we get back and all day tomorrow. Plenty of time," Mello said, although he honestly had no idea if that would be plenty of time for whatever it was Matt had to do. "Didn't you say what you do when you're DJing is mostly improv anyway?"

"Yeah…but most the time I'm not workin' with my own music. It has to be _perfect_. I want people to buy my stuff not walk away thinkin' 'Wow, this guy sucks.'"

"You're music doesn't suck."

"Thanks, but I'm pretty sure you're kinda biased. You don't even like electronic music."

"It's actually not that bad," Mello admitted, and Matt's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "It's not my favorite thing in the world, but…I finally listened to that playlist you made me, and it wasn't bad."

"Really? You listened to the whole thing?" Matt asked, and Mello nodded. "When?"

"On the flight here…" Mello said hesitantly. He hated to even think back to that.

"So…you left LA without talkin' to me, listened to the playlist I made, decided it wasn't half bad, and _that's_ why you 'broke up' with me?" Matt said with a cheeky grin on his face, pulling his hand from Mello's to add in air quotes. "Yeah, it all makes sense now."

"Right, Matt. The realization that I could actually stand listening to that drove me insane and caused me to break up with you. Absolutely. That's exactly right. How did you _ever_ figure it out?" he said with a laugh. The very idea of breaking up with Matt had been a mistake, and he was glad to find that they could joke about it.

"Ah, well, see…there's somethin' you don't know about me," he said, suddenly taking on a serious tone. Mello looked to him expectantly. "I'm psychic."

"Of course you are. What am I thinking then?"

"Hmm…" Matt narrowed his eyes, massaging his temples with his middle and index fingers, staring straight at Mello. "You ahre thinkin' about…tacos."

"No, but close. I'm impressed."

"Close? What was it then?"

"Coffee. I was wishing I would have had a cup before we left."

"Cahfee does sound good… There has to be someplace in this airport that sells cahfee… Wanna go look for some?"

"Sure," Mello shrugged. They had plenty of time, after all.

"How was that close?" Matt asked as they gathered up their carry-ons, setting out on their search. "Besides, how was I s'posed to guess that? What you drink isn't cahfee. It's like two thirds milk and sugar."

"Tacos and coffee are both things you eat…or drink… Okay, well, I guess they're not that close. Sorry to disappoint, but you're not a very good psychic."

"Damn… Guess I can cross that off my list of career options."

"It's probably for the best," Mello said with a laugh and, then spotting what they were in search of, pointed up ahead to their left. "Starbucks. Ten o'clock."

"I think you're just biased."

"Biased?"

"You work there."

"I don't work _here_ at _this_ Starbucks. Hey, if you want to go somewhere else, that's fine. I know I saw a McDonald's somewhere. We could get coffee there, but it wouldn't be as good."

"Biased," Matt said with a smirk, and Mello shrugged. He probably was biased, but no one could honestly tell him that the coffee at McDonald's was better than what they had at Starbucks.

They walked under the little awning, standing back from the counter a bit as they stared up at the menu display overhead. "I dunno why I even bother lookin' at the menu," Matt said more or less to himself. He turned to Mello. "D'you know what you want?"

"Uh…yeah…I guess." He'd tried most of the things on the menu during his almost two months working there and had settled on a favorite that he knew he couldn't go wrong with—or at least, he'd tried most of the sweeter items. He still had no idea why anyone would ever order a couple shots of plain espresso and had no desire to try it himself.

"All set?" the girl at the cash register said as Matt took a step forward.

"Yeah…I think so… Just a lahrge plain cahfee for me…" he said, and Mello let out a sigh. They were going to be there all day if Matt tried to order like that, not that they didn't have time to kill. But the girl behind the counter seemed less interested in translating Matt's order into the proper Starbucks lingo than she was in Matt himself.

"Oh, that's an interesting accent. Where are you from?" she asked, abandoning the order she had started to ring up, leaning slightly closer.

"Originally Bahstin."

"You don't live there anymore? So are you…just passing through or do you maybe live around here now?" she asked innocently, looking to him with big eyes.

Matt opened his mouth to respond, but Mello stepped forward, taking Matt's hand. "We're on our way back to California," he said firmly, and a look of surprise came to the cashier's face.

"Oh…I see." She looked back to the screen she was working off of. "So, um, medium roast or dark roast?"

"Medium, I guess…" Matt said, glancing over at Mello with a look the blond couldn't quite place.

"Room in that?"

Matt attention was drawn back to his order with this. "Room?" he asked, confused.

"For cream or sugar."

"Oh, right… Naw, just black."

"So a venti, medium roast, no room?" Matt nodded and she turned to Mello. "And for you?" He thought she looked a bit embarrassed, and that made him feel a bit better, if only a little.

"Grande Java Chip Frappuccino."

She asked if they would like anything else, and when they declined, quickly called out their drinks and took the money they owed, instructing them to go to the end of the counter to wait for their drinks.

"You okay?" Matt asked when they got to the end of the counter.

"Yeah. Fine." Matt's drink was called out and one of the baristas sat it on the counter.

"Sure," he gave Mello a skeptical look as he grabbed a coffee sleeve from the customer prep counter, slipping in onto his cup.

"It's just…unprofessional to flirt with customers at work. Ross would have our skins if we tried that…" Mello grumbled, looking away.

"Flirt with customers…? She was just bein' nice." Mello look at him, brow furrowed. Was Matt really that oblivious? "Was she flirtin' with me? I honestly wasn't payin' that much attention," Matt shrugged, and Mello instantly felt better.

He couldn't pinpoint why it had upset him. It was obvious that Matt hadn't been interested in the slightest, and Mello knew that even if he hadn't been there, Matt wouldn't have done anything. Matt was loyal, and Mello honestly believed it wasn't in his nature to cheat. So it shouldn't have mattered that some girl they would probably never see again in their lives had tried to flirt with Matt, but a part of him argued that it did.

He wondered if he would have felt the same way if it had been a guy flirting with Matt and came to the conclusion that he wouldn't. He still wouldn't have liked it, of course, but he didn't think it would have bothered him as much. Because that girl had brought a lot of questions to the forefront of Mello's mind, questions that he didn't know if he wanted to know the answers to.

"You're not jealous, ahre you?" Matt asked, a small smirk on his lips. Mello got the impression he was enjoying this.

"No, I'm not," he said defensively, it coming out almost childishly.

"Mhmm, right. Seems like it," Matt said sarcastically before grabbing Mello and pulling him up against his side. "_We're_ goin' back to California."

"I don't sound like that!" Mello laughed, wriggling out of Matt's grasp. "Okay, maybe I was _a little_ jealous." Mello's drink was called, and he grabbed it off the counter, taking a sip. "Hmm?" he held it out for Matt to try as they started walking back to their terminal.

Matt shook his head. "I don't see how you can consider that cahfee. Is there even any cahfee in that thing?"

"Two whole shots of espresso," Mello smirked.

"Fine. I'll taste yours if you taste mine."

"Matt, we're in public! We really can't do that here!" Mello hissed failing to keep a straight face, and Matt started laughing.

"Y'know what I mean." Mello looked at Matt's cup with disdain. "It's good. I promise."

"You haven't even tried it yet."

"Well, no, it's still too hot, but I'm expectin' great things outta your precious Stahrbucks."

"Fine… When it cools down, I'll try it," he sighed. He probably should anyway. He'd never actually tried any of their plain coffees before. He took another sip of his Frappuccino and held it out for Matt again.

"Now?"

"Sure," he shrugged. "You said you can't drink yours now anyway."

"Alright…" Matt said and reluctantly took Mello's drink from him. He made a face when he tried it and quickly handed the cup back to Mello, shaking his head.

"Come on, you can't actually think it tastes _that_ bad."

"It tastes like I'm gettin' cavities. I mean, it would prob'ly be really good if it was like…ten times less sweet."

"Well, I think it's good," Mello said, as they took a seat in their terminal again, pretending to take offense.

"If you say so." Matt sat his carry-on down again and took the lid off his coffee, sticking his gum to the inside of the lid before setting it in his lap. He gently blew on the surface to try to cool it down. Steam rose up from the near black liquid, and Mello could smell the strong scent wafting out as soon as the lid had been removed. He liked the smell of it but knew the taste was far too bitter.

"So I'm not…jealous or anything—really, I'm not," he said firmly, finally deciding to bring it up. He didn't care how Matt answered; he just wanted to know. "But what did you think of that girl at Starbucks?"

"Uh…" Matt looked from his coffee to Mello with a confused expression, clearly taken aback by the question. "She was…alright, I guess," he said offhandedly.

"So you didn't think she was like…really pretty or anything?"

"I dunno… I…really wasn't payin' that much attention…" he shrugged. "Mels, where's this comin' from?"

"I was just curious. You're bi so…"

"So…? That was never a problem before..."

"It's not a problem," he said quickly. He honestly didn't care, and he hadn't meant it to come out that way.

"Then what is it? I'm not sure I understand what you're tryin' to get at."

"I was just wondering what your type is. I never really thought about it before, but…do you normally date girls?" He tried to keep his voice confident, nonchalant, but as he said the words, he could hear his voice waver at the end.

"Uh… I don't…I dunno… Does it matter?"

"No, I guess not… I was just wondering. It's not a big deal. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to."

"Okay…um…" Matt started, looking around for someplace to set his cup. With nothing immediately around him besides other chairs, he held his coffee out for Mello. "Here," he said, and Mello took it from him. Coffee out of the way, Matt held up one finger on his left hand, then another, then one on his right.

"What are you doing?"

"Countin'."

Mello watched as fingers were added to each side in no discernible pattern until Matt, evidently satisfied, nodded and turned back to Mello.

"Girls," he held up his left hand, all five fingers fanned out. "Guys." His right hand was held out, four fingers standing up. "Pretty even," Matt shrugged.

"Yeah…" But Mello was suddenly less interested in the ratio than the sheer number of people Matt had been with. _Matt_ of all people. Matt was hardly the most sociable person, but as Mello thought about it, Matt had asked him to the carnival, Matt had gone the extra mile planning their date atop the apartment building… Looking back, Mello could see that Matt had really gone after what he'd wanted, despite the couple setbacks they'd encountered. But still… "Nine…?"

"Yeah…? Why?"

"That just…seems like kind of a lot… I didn't realize you were such a man-whore," Mello said, trying to suppress a laugh.

"Shut up! It's not that many!" Matt said, pushing Mello's shoulder playfully, the full cup of coffee he'd given Mello to hold almost spilling over in the process. "And gimme back my cahfee before you spill it."

Mello handed it back, laughing at Matt's now red face. "Sure, Matt. It's not _that_ many."

"Fine then, how many people have you dated?" Matt took a sip of his coffee, looking over the rim embarrassedly.

"Uh…well…" He could feel his face grow warm. Next to Matt he was going to seem so inexperienced. Although, the time to seem inexperienced had already come and gone, he reasoned. A number _really_ shouldn't mean anything. "Including you?"

"Sure," he shrugged and brought his coffee to his lips, pulling it away almost immediately. "But nine, that was _includin'_ you."

"Okay," Mello nodded as if just placating Matt, but when the redhead continued to look at him expectantly, he felt the heat return to his cheeks. "Including you…two."

"Really?"

"My high school wasn't exactly the most gay-friendly. It wasn't like I had a ton of options…"

"Oh…right… How did your mum react when she found out you were datin' a guy? Prob'ly went through the roof?"

"She would've, but she never knew. We decided it was easier not to tell anyone, and that included our parents. I told Misa, of course, and her parents ended up finding out, but that didn't really matter. I'm not sure if he ever told anyone…"

"Wow… So…what happened?"

Mello hesitated. He was honestly surprised that Matt had asked. "Um…we…dated for a few months, if that's what you wanna call it. To everyone else, it probably just looked like we were really good friends…friends who made out with each other when no one was looking. When he broke up with me, he said he couldn't take sneaking around like that anymore. Last I heard he was with some girl we went to high school with. I hope that's going well for him." And he did. He had cared a lot about Tristan—he knew now that he hadn't been in love, and it hadn't been anywhere near how he felt about Matt, but he still hoped Tristan was happy. "There isn't much else to say…"

"Mmm…" Matt nodded, sipping his coffee. "So…were you a virgin before we…"

"What? Oh, no…I suppose we did a little bit more than make out. Why? You weren't, were you?"

Matt snorted, shaking his head. "No," he said with a small laugh as if it were the most ludicrous question. Mello's eyebrows shot up in surprise. He'd expected a negative but not quite like that. "Wait, no, I didn't mean it like that!"

"Oh really? How did you mean it then?" Mello laughed. "And—now, I just wanna make sure have this straight—you're _not_ a man-whore, right?"

"No, I'm not, no more than you're a prude, so shut up about it," Matt said jokingly, laughing over Mello's accusations even though his face was bright red again.

"Ha, alright, alright! I won't say another word about it!" he said, raising his hands in defeat. "Just as long as there aren't any little Matts running around, I think we're good."

He'd meant it as a joke, one last jab before he gave up on it, so why hadn't Matt made some sort of retort? Instead, he hesitated, if only for a couple seconds, but it was long enough to send a red flag up in Mello's mind. "Naw…of course not," Matt said with a small laugh, but there was something in his voice, something Mello had heard before, something he could only think to describe as regretful nostalgia, but couldn't quite place when or where.

"You…sure about that?" He tried to play it off as sarcastic, but he could still hear the seriousness under the surface of his own words. He couldn't shake the feeling that there was something Matt wasn't telling him.

"Yeah, absolutely sure. Mello, is there somethin' wrong?" Matt looked at him with concern, and Mello immediately felt ridiculous for even bringing it up. Obviously he'd been reading too much into it. Obviously he'd heard something in Matt's voice that hadn't really been there. Obviously…

"No, it's…fine. I was just…joking," he said, forcing a smile to his face. But he was certain they'd had this conversation before, if not in so many words. If only he could remember what he'd said to make this happen before…maybe then he'd be able to piece it together.

"Uh…alright…" Matt gave an uncomfortable, jerky shrug, and brought his coffee to his lips, looking away. He obviously wasn't buying it, but he wasn't going to press the issue either.

Mello considered doing the same; he really had nothing else to go off of, so he might as well give up. After all, he wasn't going to make Matt go through each of his past relationships in detail in order to try to glean more information, and the only person he knew Matt had dated before was Sayu.

Mello's eyes widened with the realization. Sayu. That was it.

They'd once talked about the night of the rave at which Mello had first seen Matt and what could have possibly happened if he'd gone up to talk to him. The events that followed that day what with Misa and Takada fighting and then Takada confiding in Mello that she did have feelings for her roommate had overshadowed his and Matt's conversation, and he hadn't really thought of it since. But that was when it had happened before: when he'd mentioned that he hadn't gone up to Matt that night because he'd seen that he was with Sayu.

"Matt, did something happen between you and Sayu?" The words were out of Mello's mouth before he could stop them, and he half hoped that he'd said it too quietly for Matt to hear. Yet he clearly hadn't had any such luck.

The second the words were out in the open, Matt shoved his cup towards Mello, urging him to take it as he doubled over, choking violently on the coffee he'd just inhaled.

Mello took the cup from him, looking on with concern. Maybe it was just a coincidence. Maybe Matt, in fact, _hadn't_ heard and had just swallowed wrong. It was possible… "Are you okay?" he asked, and Matt nodded even as he continued to cough.

It took him a minute, but Matt eventually started to recover. "What didya say?" he choked out. "Did somethin' happen between me and Sayu?"

He looked at Matt, jaw set tight. "…Yeah."

"Um…w-well…no…" Matt sputtered, "I mean, yeah…kinda. B-but it's not important! …Well, it is kinda important, but it doesn't matter." Flustered, Matt looked down at his hands, starting to pick at his thumbnail on his right hand, a nervous habit Mello hadn't seen him resort to in a long while.

"Matt…what happened?" He placed his own drink between his knees and shifted Matt's coffee to his other hand so he could reach out to pull at Matt's hand. He succeeded in getting Matt to stop picking at his nail, but he wouldn't take Mello's hand.

"Nothin'…and I'm _really_ glad nothin' happened." Matt shifted in his seat uncomfortably, turning to Mello hesitantly. "I dunno how to say this, so I'm…just gonna say it." He paused, licking his lower lip nervously. "There was a point where…I thought Sayu might be pregnant. I was already kinda thinkin' about breakin' up with her when I found out, and then I didn't wanna say anythin' about it after she said her period was late, so I waited, and then I met you, and when I found out she _wasn't_ pregnant, I just…I-I just broke up with her. I felt really bad about it, but I told myself I was gonna break up with her anyway, so it didn't matter, but then she kept textin' me and sendin' me messages on Facebook and tryin' to talk to me, and I just didn't wanna think about it anymore, so I stopped talkin' to her all together, and I know I shouldn't've done that, but I just couldn't take it anymore." The words came rushing out, tumbling over each other, and running together, until Matt finally finished, his breath catching in his throat.

Mello could only stare. The puzzle pieces fell into place before his eyes. He could place the events Matt had described in amongst the ones he remembered. Meeting Matt, Misa showing him that Matt had changed his relationship status to 'single' on Facebook, running into Matt in the elevator and how his phone kept going off until he got fed up with it and turned it off… The gaps Mello had been left with had finally been filled in for him.

"Mels…please say somethin'…"

"Um…uh…I don't…I don't know what to say…"

"I'm sorry…" Matt whispered, and Mello looked over at him in surprise.

"You don't have to apologize. I'm not mad or anything. Just…surprised."

"Really?"

"Yeah… I wish you would've just told me instead of trying to hide it, but I'm not angry about something that happened before we were together."

"I'm sorry… I shoudda toldya sooner, but I didn't wanna talk about it, and I wasn't sure how you were gonna take it. I feel really bad about the way I treated her at the end… I didn't…want you to see me any differently after you found out…"

"Matt, I love you, and that's not gonna change. Maybe you didn't handle things as well as you could have, but everyone makes mistakes," he shrugged. Mello knew he'd certainly made his fair share of mistakes. "Have you talked to her about it at all?"

"Not really…" he admitted. "I haven't really talked to Sayu since I broke up with her…"

"Maybe you should. I'm sure she would appreciate an explanation, and it would probably make you feel better."

"Maybe," Matt said weakly.

Mello looked down at Matt's coffee, still holding it in his right hand. He brought it to his lips, taking a hesitant sip. It was awful. He forced himself to swallow it and held the cup out for Matt to take back. "How can you drink that?" he grimaced as Matt took his coffee back. "You have such terrible taste."

"Thanks, Mello," Matt said sarcastically, giving him a wry smile.

"You're welcome."

It just wasn't what he liked, and that was fine.

• • •

Mello sat in his seat on the plane, staring out at the soft white clouds below. The album he was listening to on his iPod ended, and he was left with only the roar of the engines.

Matt shifted in his sleep next to him, his head coming to rest on Mello's shoulder. He turned to kiss the top of Matt's head and looked back down at the screen of his iPod. He wasn't sure where to go from there, so he clicked on 'Playlists' and started scrolling through.

'Good Music.' He'd listened to the playlist Matt had made for him on the way there. How different things were now on the plane ride back to Los Angeles.

He started the playlist, finding that he actually could enjoy most of the songs Matt had put on it now. It had taken a while, but he could finally start to see why Matt was so devoted to this type of music.

Perhaps he ought to return the favor.

• • •

Having both taken only carry-ons, they bypassed the luggage claim, scanning the area for Misa. It turned out not to be too difficult to spot her in her neon pink and black corset, short pleated black skirt, and lace-up black boots. Even if they hadn't found her immediately, it would have been hard to miss her with the way she was jumping up and down, waving a homemade sign made on a piece of computer paper that read "Welcome Home Matt and Mello!" and had a large pink heart drawn to the side. Much to Mello's surprise, standing next to her much less conspicuously was Takada.

"Welcome home!" Misa squealed, tossing the sign up in the air and launching herself at Mello. "I missed my Mel-Mel so much!"

"Missed you too, Misa," he said, hugging her tightly even though he wished she wouldn't make such a scene.

She leaned up closer to his ear. "I need to talk you about something," she whispered, but without a hint as to what it might be, she detached herself from Mello and suddenly had her arms around Matt, making him drop his duffle bag. "Mattie!" she shrieked. Apparently he would have to wait to find out what it was she wanted to talk to him about.

Deciding to put it from his mind for the time being, Mello turned his attention to Takada. "How have things been?" he asked, hoping she'd understand the meaning behind his words.

"Fine…" she sighed. "Nothing has really changed."

He nodded, having figured as much. Maybe now that he was back, he'd have to try to hint at the situation to Misa. He knew that she'd slept with a girl at least once; she'd called it 'experimenting' and hadn't seemed to think it was a big deal. Mello hadn't thought much about it last Christmas break when she'd told him about it, but now he wondered exactly that could mean for Takada's situation.

"I'm glad you're back," she said quietly, and he was surprised to find Takada's arms around him. It lasted for only a second, but he still couldn't believe it had happened at all. Neither could Misa.

"Is Kiyomi okay?" she asked, stepping closer to her roommate and placing a hand on her forehead. "Kiyomi is never nice to Mel-Mel. Is she sick?"

Takada immediately stiffened at the contact. "I'm…fine. We should…probably get going," she said, starting towards the exit.

"But Kiyomi feels warm, and her face is all red. Are you sure you're alright?" Misa asked, trailing after Takada, worry in her voice.

Matt leaned over towards Mello as Misa and Takada led them out of the airport. "Seems like everythin' is goin' as planned," he whispered.

A smirk came to Mello's lips. "My thoughts exactly."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **With only three more chapters and the epilogue left, I'm wondering what you guys think is yet to come. Well, I'm thinking of playing around with the format a bit, so it might not be "three chapters and an epilogue" but more like four more…sections…or something. So what do you all think will happen in the last few sections?

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>CatatonicVanity, DarkAngelJudas, NinjaWarLord, BlOo KiSsEs, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, brightnight003, Lotta Devon, Evidence Of Rain, Unterseeboot, kay-kw33n, sam. christians. 1, minzy, MikoUchiha


	27. Chapter 25: Music

Mello: Na Na Na by My Chemical Romance  
>Matt: King by Matthew LeFace, Matt Nash &amp; Dave Silcox<p>

**Chapter 25: Music**

Mello sat on the couch, searching through his music on his computer, earbuds stuck in his ears. He added another song to the playlist he was making and continued down through his music library in iTunes.

Matt entered his peripheral vision, still running around the apartment trying to collect all his music equipment in the boxes near the front door. Mello took one of the earbuds out. "Are you sure you don't need any help?"

"Naw…I think I'm good."

Mello shrugged and replaced the earbud, searching for a song to add by My Chemical Romance. They had been his favorite band in middle school and for the first half of high school. Completely by coincidence, he'd spent his time in middle school and the first half of high school in love with their lead singer, Gerard Way. Despite the way Misa had made fun of him for it, he still contested those two facts had no bearing on each other. Regardless, he felt like he should add at least one song by My Chemical Romance to pay homage to his once favorite band…or to Gerard Way. Whichever.

He scrolled through, listening to bits and pieces of various songs in search of one to add as he watched Matt get to his knees, double checking everything he'd piled near the door. Mello couldn't help but feel nostalgic as he went through their songs but rejected each one in turn anyway. Most of their songs now seemed a bit too melodramatic, especially the band's earlier stuff. He wanted the 'Good Music' playlist he was making for Matt to represent the type of music he currently listened to, not what he'd spent hours listening to on repeat years ago. Even so, he knew the playlist wouldn't be complete without at least one of their songs, so he finally settled on one from their most recent album that he felt decently represented his taste in music now, one that was arguably still one of his favorites even though he didn't care for the album as a whole.

Matt was suddenly to his feet, running towards the hall. Mello stared after him in surprise, Matt reappearing a few seconds later with a pair of headphones in hand, looking exceptionally relieved. Mello almost had to laugh. He wondered what Matt would have done if he'd forgotten to bring a pair of headphones to what could possibly be the most important gig of his life.

Matt sat the headphones at the top of one of the boxes and let out a sigh. He looked through the contents one last time and stood back up, turning to Mello. He said something, but Mello couldn't hear it over his music. "Hmm?" he asked, pausing the song.

"I think that's everythin'," Matt repeated running a hand through his hair. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to check the time. "Misa and Takada are gonna be here in about 20 minutes; I think I'm gonna go get changed." Mello nodded, going back to his music, and Matt started back towards the bedroom, stopping halfway to the hall. "Hey…ahre you still gonna…?" he said, a cheeky grin spreading across his face.

"Yeah…" Mello grumbled, knowing exactly what Matt was talking about. He was already starting to regret that he'd ever agreed to this. "I got them from Misa this morning."

Matt did a dorky little fist pump before continuing to their room, and Mello couldn't help but smile. He wondered what Matt would actually do once he was wearing those awful leather pants again.

He'd been surprised when Matt had asked him the day before once they'd gotten home from the airport what he was planning on wearing to the rave. He, Misa, and Takada had already agreed to wear the shirts Matt had had made to help advertise. But when he mentioned that, Matt asked about the leather pants Mello had mentioned wearing to the rave Misa had forced him to go to before. He begrudgingly agreed to wear them again after Matt had practically begged him to.

He'd texted Misa that morning to ask her to bring them over later since he'd 'accidently' forgotten them there when he'd moved out, but to his surprise, she'd all but demanded that he come over to pick them up immediately. When he got there, he found that he was less interested in giving him his pants back as she was in getting his advice on how she should handle a particular dilemma she found herself in. She'd been desperate, and Mello had been secretly elated. Misa had made him promise not to tell anyone before he left, so naturally, he headed back up to his apartment and told Matt immediately. It turned out the plan he and Matt had made the day before at the airport would be easier to implement than they had thought.

Matt stepped back out in the living room, holding his hands out at his sides. He looked exactly like Mello remembered from the rave he'd first seen him at. "Whaddaya think?"

"You look amazing," he said, and Matt smiled, coming to sit on the couch next to him, leaning over in an attempt to see the screen of Mello's laptop.

"Hey, what ahre you workin' on anyway?"

Mello angled the computer away from Matt. "Nothing."

"You sure have been workin' on _nothin'_ a lot today."

Mello exited out of iTunes and shut the lid to his laptop. "It's a surprise."

"A surprise, huh? Do I get any hints?"

Mello shook his head. "You'll just have to wait and see it when it's done," he said, sticking his tongue out childishly.

"That's not fair…"

"How is that not fair?"

"Well…what if all I can think of is the surprise, and I can't focus on my music, and I ruin _all_ my chances of _ever_ havin' a career in music all because you wouldn't tell me what it was?"

"Now _that's_ not fair," Mello said. He got up from the couch, setting his laptop down where he had been sitting and started towards the bedroom.

"But I- Hey, where ahre you goin'?"

"I'm not gonna tell you what it is yet, so I figure I'll just have to distract you." Matt got up to follow him, but Mello shook his head. "Wait there a minute."

He continued to the bedroom, shutting the door behind him, and pulled open the bottom dresser drawer where he'd tucked the leather pants away that morning.

Step one: put on leather pants.

• • •

Mello sat the box of CDs and shirts on the somewhat flimsy table they had set up against the eastern wall of the venue, followed closely by Matt with the box of 'decorations' Misa had put together while Takada stood by, trying to determine the most secure place to keep the cashbox for the time being. As usual, Misa had somehow gotten out of carrying anything.

"This place seems so legit," she marveled looking around the venue at the other artists setting up their merch tables. There was even a bar at the back of the room, and while the stage at the front looked weathered, it was an actual permanent stage, not a makeshift one someone had thrown together at the last minute.

"I know…" Matt sounded nervous as he absentmindedly played with the top flaps of the box he'd carried in. "I've never had a gig in a place like this before…"

"You'll be great," Mello reassured him. "Just think of it as any other time you've DJed somewhere." Mello had only ever actually seen Matt DJ once, but from what he had been told—both by Matt and by Misa—he normally played underground venues, raves and the like, that weren't necessarily legal. Contrarily, this concert was advertised an event set up specifically for local up-and-coming music producers from across the subgenres of electronic music. The lineup consisted of seven artists of varying experience, one of which Matt had told him was releasing his third EP in conjunction with the concert. From the way Matt had said this, Mello gathered that this was supposed to be impressive, yet he contended that Matt's first official release was a full-length album. Surely that was much more impressive than an EP. "Besides, you don't go on till the fourth timeslot, right? That's still plenty of time. You can worry about it later."

"Thanks, Mels," Matt said, pulling Mello against his side. He kissed Mello's cheek, Matt's hand wandering down to his ass. He'd taken every opportunity to feel Mello up through those leather pants since he'd put them on.

"I really hate to interrupt _this_," Misa said, motioning to the two of them, "but doors open in half an hour. Matt, you put me in charge of making your table look nice, so…let's decorate!" She clapped her hands together, hopping up and down excitedly.

"Yeah, and I'm stahrtin' to have some doubts about that decision," Matt said with a laugh, looking over Misa's outfit with feigned derision.

"Don't you like it?" Misa asked, looking down at herself. She had taken one of Matt's shirts and turned it into a halter top that left more of her torso exposed than it covered, strips of material tied across her back and behind her neck, the shirt ending a couple inches above her navel, leaving her still new belly button ring in view. "I improved it! And Mattie can't complain," she told him. "I didn't get rid of _any_ of the printed stuff." She had, in fact, apparently refrained from sacrificing any of the printing on the front in her mad dash to eliminate material as the three white stripes still stood out against the black material stretched across her chest, appearing to have been sloppily painted on, paint dripping down in a few places; Matt's pseudonym was displayed between the bottom two stripes, offset to the right. It was hardly an elaborate design, but it was what Matt could manage with his budget. Besides, as Mello looked around the room at the other tables, most other artists had similar shirts for sale: simple designs in one color printed on unisex t-shirts.

"It's fine, Misa. I was just kiddin'," Matt said. "Can I finally see what's in the box?" His hand went to the top of the box, ready to open it. As of yet, Misa had refused to let him see how she planned to decorate his merch table.

"Wait!" She pulled the box away from him, giving him a stern look, and then returning to her usual chipper tone: "I need to present my design you!" She stepped between Matt and the box to block his view, turning away from him to start rummaging around the box for what she wanted to present first.

"Now," Matt whispered, leaning over towards Mello, nodding in Takada's direction who had taken it upon herself to start sorting through the merchandise box. She had a clipboard in hand, making note of inventory. "Misa won't even notice."

"While Mattie and Mel-Mel were in Ohio," she said, turning to face them. She held something behind her back, out of view. "Misa took time out of her very busy schedule to plan the best set-up ever. No need to thank me." She turned her attention primarily to Matt as she explained her design.

Mello inched towards Takada, waiting to see if Misa was paying him any attention. She was not. "Hey, I need to talk to you about something," he told Takada, and she gave him a questioning look.

"Now? Can't it wait?"

"No. Come on," he said, leading her towards the back of the venue where they had come in. She reluctantly followed, but before they'd even made it six feet from the table, Misa called out to them.

"Where are Mello and Kiyomi going?" she asked, looking straight at them with her head tilted to the side. It seemed she hadn't been as distracted by her presentation as Matt had thought she would be.

"We…forgot something in the car," Mello said. "We'll be right back." Misa would forgive him for lying just like she'd forgive him for telling Takada what she'd told him that morning in trust.

She gave them a skeptical look but returned to her decorations, nonetheless.

"What is this about?" Takada demanded when they were out of earshot.

"Misa…told me something this morning that I thought you should know…"

"This morning? While I was at my internship?" She looked at him in surprise as they made their way out of the building. "What did she say?"

He told her about how Misa had instructed him to come over immediately when he'd texted her about getting his pants back; he told her how she had said she needed advice on something, how uncomfortable and worried she was about even mentioning it, acknowledging it; he told her how Misa had asked him how he got over it when he developed a crush on a straight guy; and he told her how he had made a joke about the time Misa had gone out of her way to set him up with a straight guy once, which Misa hadn't thought was funny at the time and Takada didn't find funny now. By the time he got to the part where he had asked Misa what was really going on—even though he had been pretty sure he'd already known—they had made it back to Misa and Takada's silver SUV, which they had taken instead of Matt's car because there was more room.

"She said she thought she was starting to have feelings for you, and I quote 'more than friendship-y type feelings,'" he told her, a huge grin on his face. He'd expected her to be excited, to mirror the smile he had, to jump up and down like Misa might…_something_. But she only stood there, wide-eyed, like she was petrified.

"…You're joking."

He shook his head.

"Did you tell her…?"

"No. When she asked what I thought she should do, I told her to just wait and see how things go. I thought it would be better if you told her."

"Me?" Takada screeched, sounding horrified that he would ever suggest such a thing.

"Yeah…? Is there a problem with that? You know she's interested. You don't even have to worry about her rejecting you or anything."

"But…we're roommates…what if it just makes things awkward? We'd still have to live with each other…or one of us would have to move out…find a new place, new roommates—because I don't think either of us could afford an apartment on our own. What if things didn't work out?"

Mello nodded. "You're right. Living in fear of your what ifs and throwing away a perfect opportunity is _much_ better than taking a chance on something that might actually end up working." He felt a bit like a hypocrite saying those words; he'd spent so much time fearing his own 'what ifs', but he felt like he'd outgrown them or at least was on his way to outgrowing them.

Takada gave him a look of disdain. "You're not funny, Mello. I'm serious. You can't say those are unreasonable concerns."

"No, I can't. But I can say that I think you should say something to Misa about it, maybe make some sort of move tonight if you see the opportunity. Even if you just let her know you care about her. Takada, would you rather play it safe and possibly regret not saying anything or take the chance?"

Takada let out a sigh, nodding her head slowly. "I'll think about it. I just never thought Misa would actually ever be interested in me…" she said, with a small smile. "So what did we leave in the car?"

"What?"

"You told Misa we left something in the car. If we come back empty-handed, she's going to be suspicious."

"Is there anything you actually need?" he asked, thinking about it. "I could have just left my phone in the car, and you came out here to help me look for it?"

"I guess that could work…" she said, sounding a bit skeptical. "And Mello, you can call me Kiyomi if you like."

"Really?"

"Sure… And I'm sorry I was such a bitch to you before…"

He looked at her, stunned. "That's okay. I suppose I could've been nicer to you too," he shrugged. "Besides, I get it now. You just wanted more alone time with your girlfriend," he teased, giving her a cheeky grin.

"No, actually, I just didn't like you," she said, very matter-of-fact. "And she's not my girlfriend," she added, blushing.

"Not _yet_. And think of it this way, you'd probably move in together after like the second date anyway. You're just skipping the U-Haul," he smirked over at her, and her blush deepened.

"Shut up! I take it back. You can't call me by my first name."

"Too late, Kiyomi. Too late."

• • •

"That's everything," Mello said, handing the last…whatever-it-was to Matt. He still couldn't remember what all of Matt's music equipment was called and what each piece did.

"Thanks," Matt mumbled, setting it in its proper place amongst all his other equipment on the table on stage. He ran cords from it to another piece and to his computer, glancing up at the crowd once before turning back to what he was working on. "I'm stahrtin' to think I shouldda prepared a little more…"

Mello looked out into the crowd. The room was packed. Some people stood, talking to their friends; some people were visiting the various merch tables; some stared back, watching as Matt finished setting up. "But you said you wanted to keep it natural," he reminded Matt, turning away from the crowd. He was sincerely glad he wouldn't have to be up there much longer. It was unnerving. "You'll be fine. Just think of it as any other gig."

"Yeah? Tell that to those people who came over as soon as the doors opened…" A group of three people had come over to Matt's merch table minutes after the doors had opened. They had told Matt that they were already familiar with him from times he had DJed at raves; they thought his remixes were brilliant and were looking forward to hearing his original music. Matt had thanked them, blushing wildly, and they had each bought a CD and a shirt before disappearing back into the crowd. It had been great for sales, but it had also made Matt incredibly nervous to actually go on stage.

"Just forget about them for now. Matt, trust me, you're gonna do great."

Matt took a deep breath, letting it out in a sigh. "Yeah…" he nodded and readjusted his goggles over his eyes. "I think I'm ready."

Mello pulled him into a quick hug. "You'll be amazing," he smiled and moved to the edge of the stage, climbing down and heading back over to his post at the merch table, watching over his shoulder as Matt started his sound check.

• • •

Matt faded out the second song in the set, and as the crowd clapped and cheered, he slipped his headphones down around his neck and pulled the microphone closer. "I just wanna take a second before I continue to thank everyone for comin' out to support all of us. If you like what you've heard, please go say hi to my lovely assistants right back there at my merch table." He pointed back to the table, and Misa started waving furiously as everyone turned to look in their direction, loving the attention. "They've got my brand new full-length album for sale as well as some shirts if you wanna help me out by bein' a walkin' billboard. If hahrd copies ahren't really your thing, my album is also up for digital download on my Bandcamp account as well as a five track EP of remixes I've done, but if you sign up for my mailin' list, you can get the EP for free. Again, just go back to my merch table, write your email down, and we'll send you the download link by the end of the day tomorrow. You'll also be kept up to date with any new releases I might have in the future and where you can see me live again, if you're interested. With that said, thanks again everyone, and uh…let's keep goin'."

The crowd cheered again, and Matt replaced his headphones over his ears, starting to fade in the underlying beat to the next song. He was captivating to watch, appearing completely in his element on that stage, surrounded by all of his music equipment, and Mello was reminded of what had attracted him to Matt when he'd first seen him at that rave.

The sight bordered on beautiful.

• • •

"It was…it was just amazin'. I don't even know how to describe it. Finally workin' with my own music up there… And everybody seemed to be really into it. I mean, I was kinda nervous at first, but then it was like…just me and my music and…I'm so glad I didn't over plan what I wanted to do with it because it just…kinda happened, and it was amazin'. Am I makin' any sense?" Matt asked, sliding the last of his equipment into the trunk of the silver SUV. He shut the trunk and locked it, turning to Mello, the smile he'd walked off stage with ever present, illuminated by the streetlamps that dotted the parking lot. It took up his entire face, reaching his eyes, his elation shining through in full.

Mello only laughed, his own little smile on his lips. He loved seeing Matt like that, like he had all the passion to take on the entire world but still held an almost child-like euphoria.

"Is somethin' funny?"

Mello shook his head and shrugged. "I'm just really proud of you." He took Matt's hand, pulling him closer into an embrace, and kissed him softly.

"D'you just wanna skip the rest of the show? Misa and Takada can take care of things in there."

"And what? We'll just take their car and leave them here? I'm pretty sure they'd never talk to us ever again."

"Yeah…" he sighed. "I guess you're right." He leaned in to kiss Mello again and took his hand when they parted. "C'mon."

They headed back in, wading through the crowd in the direction of Matt's table. The next artist, a girl with long black hair adorned by bright purple streaks, had just started setting up now that Matt's equipment no longer took up the stage, and the large banner Misa had made by taking a set of paints to a sheet she'd bought at a thrift store could be seen on the wall up ahead to the left. It was really quite well done, displaying a design similar to the one on the t-shirts and listing prices for the CDs and shirts. Mello had been impressed when he'd seen what Misa had put together between the banner and the black, white, and red color scheme she had for the table itself.

The table came into view as they made their way through the sea of people, Misa and Takada standing behind it. "What took you so long?" Misa asked when she saw them approaching. "You're adoring fans have been killing us!" And while there was by no means the massive swarm of people Misa seemed to be implying, there were several people standing around the table, signing up for the mailing list and buying CDs.

"We weren't gone _that_ long," Matt contended, as the guy who had just given Takada the money for a CD turned to him.

"Hey man, your original stuff was great," he said.

Clearly taken aback, it took Matt a moment to respond. "Oh…wow, thanks."

A conversation not unlike the one Matt had had with the group from earlier started as Mello took his post at the merch table next to Takada. It wasn't the first nor would it be the last time Matt would hear this that night.

The steady stream of customers kept them busy, and even though Mello wanted to ask Takada if she were planning on saying anything to Misa about what they'd talked about, it didn't seem like he was going to get to any time soon. He was so preoccupied with the task at hand that he didn't notice what was going on at the other end of the table until the woman to whom he was supposed to be selling a CD stopped the search for her wallet to watch.

He turned to see a rather tall, muscular guy in a tight black shirt standing to the side of the table, leaning in a bit too closely to Misa. "Look, I'm really not interested," she said, backing away slightly.

"That skirt you're wearing says something different," he smirked, taking another step forward to slip a hand up under the hem of her skirt, causing her to jump back.

"She said she's not interested," Takada gritted out, taking a step forward. Mello didn't think he'd ever seen her so angry. "Take a fucking hint and _back off_."

"What? She your girlfriend or something? Fucking dyke," he spat out, and for a second it looked like he might hit her, but noticing the crowd of people standing around him, watching, he took a step back. "Don't wanna be treated like a whore, don't fucking dress like one," he growled out and, with that, stormed off, pushing a couple people out of the way as he disappeared back into the crowd.

"Thank you," Misa breathed out, flinging her arms around Takada.

"Do you want me to take you home?" she offered. "I could drop you off and be back in plenty of time to pick up Matt and Mello."

And although it looked like Misa was about ready to start crying, she shook her head. "You don't have to do that…"

"Really, I don't mind."

"No…I-I'm fine," she said, a small grateful smile on her lips.

"Alright, well…here," Takada said, pulling Misa towards the center of the table and stepping to the other side so that Misa was no longer on the end. "Now if anyone wants to get to you, they'll have to go through me and Mello."

The lady on the other side of the table cleared her throat to get his attention. He turned to see her holding out the money she owed. "Oh, sorry," he said, taking the money and handing her a CD.

Finally having a moment to himself since he'd walked back in, Matt came to stand next to Mello. "I guess Takada didn't need our help after all."

• • •

The period of twenty minutes or so between the next two artists was relatively quiet. There were a few people who visited the table, but it seemed the rush was over, people now flocking to the merch table of the girl with black and purple hair who had called herself "Acid Reign." According to Matt, she had stuck primarily to the hardstyle genre, which he apparently didn't care for, saying the closest thing he'd put on the playlist he'd made for Mello was "Fall Silently" by Ephixa which was a mix of dubstep and hardstyle. Mello wasn't sure if he could actually tell much of a difference between the subgenres of electronic music that Matt pointed out to him, and he certainly couldn't keep all those names straight. Dubstep, progressive house, electro house, trance, and now hardstyle…it was all just words to Mello.

"So…what is the type of music you do called again?" Mello asked hesitantly. He was sure Matt must have told him before, but he couldn't remember for the life of him what he had called it, and he certainly didn't know the differences between genres well enough to discern what Matt's music was.

"Mostly electro house, some dubstep," he said, watching as the second to last artist was setting up on stage. "That song I added your vocals to was chillstep with some house influences," he added, turning to Mello who nodded uncertainly. If that's what Matt said it was, he'd believe him because while he knew what the song sounded like, the labels were generally meaningless.

"How do you keep all that straight in your head?" he asked incredulously.

"You listen to it enough, and you stahrt to be able to pick up on the differences between the different types. The names are just ahrbitrary words you learn along the way," Matt shrugged. "Or I could just be a musical genius," he added with a smirk.

Mello opened his mouth to make a sarcastic comment but didn't get the chance to. "Hey Matt, look who me and Kiyomi ran into," Misa said evidently trying to sound enthusiastic but it falling flat. She and Takada were standing on the other side of the table, back from their expedition to check out the other merch tables. Next to them stood Sayu and two girls Mello didn't recognize.

"Oh, um…hi," Matt said. He looked absolutely stunned.

"Hi…I just…wanted to get a CD." Sayu tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear, looking from Matt down to the table.

"Uh…y-yeah, sure. Mello, could you, uh…" He motioned to the area to the other side of where Mello was sitting, and the blond got the cashbox back out from where they had stuck it under the table for safe keeping.

Sayu handed Mello the money and picked up a CD. "Thanks," she said quietly and turned back to her friends.

The second they were out of earshot, Misa turned to Matt. "I'm _so _sorry. We ran into them, and when she recognized me, she said hi, and I couldn't just ignore her, and then she said she had been planning to come over and get a CD," Misa explained, but it didn't appear that Matt was listening.

"I'll be right back," he said absentmindedly, getting up from his seat, heading over to where Sayu stood a short distance away with her friends. Mello couldn't hear what was said over the chatter of the crowd, but he watched as Matt said something to which Sayu nodded, her friends looking on with contempt.

"I'm sorry," Misa said, this time to Mello, as she and Takada sat down next to him.

"Why are you apologizing to me?" he asked, surprised, glancing from Misa to where Matt was still talking to Sayu. Sayu turned to her friends briefly and then headed towards the back of the building with Matt.

"You're not worried about that?"

Mello shook his head. "Should I be?"

She seemed to consider it for a moment. "Did Matt tell you what happened between him and Sayu?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, and I told him I thought he should talk to her about it," he said, and Misa's jaw dropped.

"You did?"

"Yeah? So?"

"Don't act like that's a dumb question! Most people don't like their boyfriends being all buddy-buddy with their exes."

"They're just talking. It's not a big deal."

"If you say so," Misa said, shaking her head.

"Does someone want to tell me what happened between that girl and Matt?" Takada asked. "That was Light's sister, right?"

"Oh! I forgot Kiyomi doesn't know Sayu!" Misa exclaimed, launching into the story without reserve.

Mello sat back in his chair, listening to Misa's more detailed and probably dramatized version of the events that had taken place the month before he'd arrived in Los Angeles.

• • •

Mello sat at the merch table while Misa and Takada danced nearby. Takada had looked less than thrilled about the idea of dancing—the only reason she'd even agreed to go to the rave in the first place was to help Matt—but when Misa had asked, she hadn't been able to say no.

Mello, however, was more than happy to mind the table, listening to the music, and pretending like it wasn't so loud that he probably wouldn't be able to hear properly for the next two days. For all the good that had come out of going to that rave with Misa the night he had moved in, he still didn't know how to dance to this type of music and didn't wish to submit himself to the humiliation a second time. Especially not in those leather pants.

Mello let out a laugh, watching as Misa tried to show Takada how to dance to the fast-paced, up-beat music. She looked incredibly uncomfortable, and Mello imagined her blushing furiously as Misa gave up on trying to demonstrate and took both her hands in her own, moving her arms for her. A smile came to his face as he watched them, and he began to wish Matt was there with him.

Matt had still not returned from talking to Sayu, but he refused to worry. He imagined they would have a lot to talk about, and as long as Matt was back by the time they left, he didn't see a reason to trouble himself over it.

He watched the man on stage whom Mello estimated to be about halfway through his set given the lengths of the other artists' sets. He seemed to be a bit tense, hovering over his equipment, flicking this switch or that, making all the alterations he needed to in order to have his music play seamlessly. But his motions had none of the fluidity that Matt's did when he had been up there. Matt had been able to relax by the end of his first song, settling down into his niche, seeming to have forgotten about the crowd and his apprehension all together; the man on stage now seemed painfully aware of it even if none of his anxiety showed in the music blasting from the speakers.

The dim lights overhead illuminated the stage in a violet and blue glow, casting shadows in opposing directions. But the clear light descending from above seemed to be marred, a cloudiness rising up into the rafters.

There was a scream from someone in the crowd near the stage that could barely be heard over the music, and the people at the front of the room started to push back, away from the stage, panic and chaos traveling backwards through the crowd like a wave as another source of light started to seep up through the planks of the stage, casting its own set of shadows in orange and yellow.

Takada and Misa were suddenly back at the table. Takada swept what was left of Matt's CDs and shirts into one of the boxes in which they had carried everything in with her arm and tried to hand it to Mello, but he couldn't hear her over his own thoughts. He watched as the man on stage disconnected his equipment, the music coming to a premature halt. The man tried to collect his equipment in his arms, but realizing he wouldn't be able to take it all, he grabbed what he could carry and joined the crowd in pushing for the door.

Takada shoved the box against his chest and his arms took it on instinct. She grabbed the cashbox from under the table and pulled on his arm when he didn't automatically follow her. She was yelling something at him, but it was hard to concentrate. He felt paralyzed. "We have to get out of here!" Takada screamed, it finally breaking through.

His feet carried him away of their own accord, following Misa and Takada as they tried to find the quickest way out. But as he glanced back at the stage, the flames licking up around it, consuming it, spitting out black and grey smoke into the air, he could only wonder with desperation where Matt was.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Completely disregarding the fact that you are all probably really upset with me for leaving the end of this chapter all too ambiguous, I would like to ask you all a question. Has anyone figured out the list of songs Matt and Mello have put on their "Good Music" playlists for each other? An impossible task, you say? I'm not giving any hints, but I will say it's actually a lot easier to do than you would think ;3

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>MyBeautifulBlackHeart, brightnight003, DarkAngelJudas, CatatonicVanity, BlOo KiSsEs, ValkyrieLawliet, IssaHORROR, Abby, Lotta Devon


	28. Chapter 26: Aftermath

Matt: Alive by Invader!  
>Mello: Time Bomb by All Time Low<p>

**Chapter 26: Aftermath**

"Do you think Matt's gonna be okay. Seeing him like this…"

"He'll be fine. Shh, you're going to wake him up."

"But do you think we should go after him? He seemed pretty upset…"

"Misa, give him some space."

"I know, but…" It sounded like she was crying.

Why was Misa crying? Where was Matt? Was something wrong with him? Takada seemed to think that Matt would be fine, but Mello needed to find out for himself. He tried to open his eyes, but his eyelids must have weighed a thousand pounds. It was too great of a task. He didn't have the energy for it, and he certainly didn't have the energy to part his lips and form the questions he needed answers to. He was just so tired…

"Misa…" Takada whispered. "It's going to be okay…"

"No it's not! Can't you see him?! How is that going to be okay?!" Her sudden outburst tugged at his consciousness as he had started to drift off again, but it made his body no less heavy, his muscles no more willing to comply.

"Why don't we go outside? Get some air?" Takada suggested.

Misa gave a weak "…Mkay" and a door opened and clicked shut a moment later.

Mello fought his exhaustion, but it quickly won over. He was just too tired to wonder what was wrong.

• • •

There was someone in the room with him. He heard their shuffling around, their movements as they adjusted things, and a distant "Hmm…" He tried to open his eyes to see who the intruder was but found that it remained an impossible task.

They were gone just as abruptly as Mello had become aware of them, and he was left in relative silence with the steady beeping. Had it been there before? He couldn't remember.

• • •

He heard the crinkle of a page being turned and a sigh. Mello listened intently for any other sounds that would clue him in on whoever was with him, but as his consciousness slowly returned to him, the only other sound he could make out was that incessant beeping.

He breathed in slowly; the air tasted stale. He tried to lick his lips. His mouth was just so dry. He needed water.

He made another attempt to force his eyelids open, and with a bit of effort, he managed to get his right eye to flutter open. The left would not be so easily persuaded, it seemed.

The bright fluorescent lights above him were blinding, forcing him to clamp his eye shut again. He let out a low groan at the piercing light, and he heard the pages rustle again.

"Misa," he heard Takada hiss out. "Misa, wake up."

"Hmm?"

He tried to open his eyes again, the right one only a slit to guard against those awful lights. He seemed to be in a sea of white. White ceiling, white walls, while lights.

"Misa, I think he's waking up." Her voice was urgent.

He turned his head to the side towards where he heard Takada's voice coming from. She was sitting in a chair, a magazine in her lap; Misa sat in a chair next to her, her head on Takada's shoulder. But when the blonde girl heard Takada's words, her head snapped up, suddenly wide awake. She stared at him with wide eyes for a moment, hesitating, tears collecting in the corners of her eyes.

"Oh my God…" It was barely above a whisper. She slowly got up from her chair and moved to his side, tears sliding down her cheeks. "Mello…you're awake…"

Of course he was. It wasn't the first time he'd ever woken up, and it wouldn't be the last. It was hardly a novel discovery on Misa's part; Mello had more important things to deal with. Like the way his sight kept going out of focus. He looked up at Misa, his vision swimming before him. He opened his mouth to ask her to stop moving like that but found it hard to get the words out. His tongue tasted like dust, and his throat felt of sandpaper.

He changed his approach, trying to ask for water, but the sound that came out could hardly be considered a word. He swallowed and tried again. "Wa…wa…ter," he managed, it coming out in a scratchy sounding whisper.

It took her a moment to realize what he had said, her eyes lighting up when it clicked. "Water," she commanded, turning to Takada who was still staring on in shock from her chair. She nodded once, tossing her magazine to the chair and hurrying out the door.

"Are…okay? How…feeling? Do you…anything?" He was having a hard time focusing on Misa's words as she shot out question after question at him. It all seemed to blur together, and he could only pick out certain words, trying to piece it back together.

Takada was back before he could even try to answer. A nurse, a middle-aged woman whose curly hair was pulled back away from her face into a bun, followed behind her into the room, a styrofoam cup with a plastic spoon sticking out of it in hand.

Misa backed up, letting the nurse in next to Mello's bed. "Glad to see you're awake," she said with a soft smile. "Let's get you sat up a bit." She pressed a button on the panel on the side of the bed until he was sitting mostly upright though still reclining back a bit and held out a spoonful of ice chips just in front of his lips for him to take. "There you go, dear."

He looked up at her, trying to express his gratitude as he took the ice chips from the spoon, rolling them around his mouth with is tongue. He would have preferred a glass of water, but this would do. She waited and gave him another spoonful before setting the cup down on the bedside table.

"I just want to check a few things first, and then you can have more, okay?" He hummed out a response he hoped conveyed his consent, and she went about her work. She checked the monitor next to his bed, took his temperature, and asked him how he was feeling, making notes on his chart. She took the cup back up in hand and waited as he finished the ice chips.

"Thank you," he murmured when he was done.

"You're welcome," she said sweetly. "If you need anything else, just let me know." She placed the nurse call button in his right hand. "Press this, and me or one of the other nurses will come help you. Or you could send one of your friends out again," she smiled.

He tried to nod but found he didn't have the strength to do so. Instead, he sighed out an "Mkay."

With the nurse gone, Misa and Takada returned to the side of his bed. Tears were streaming down Misa's face again, leaving trails of grey on her cheeks from her mascara. She placed her hand gently over his. "You're such an idiot," she told him angrily, and Takada put a hand on her shoulder.

"Misa…" she warned. Misa shook her head and looked away, crying silently.

"What…happened?" he asked. He knew he was in the hospital, but he couldn't remember how he'd gotten there. "Matt?"

"Matt's fine," Takada told him. "He just…can't be here right now."

He let out a sigh. Takada had misunderstood him, thinking it one question instead of two. But at least Matt was alright, wherever he was. "Misa…why…idiot?" He'd apparently done something stupid to get himself in the hospital, but his muddled brain couldn't remember for the life of him what it was that he had done.

"You…don't remember?" she said, looking back down at him incredulously.

He let out another sigh. Obviously he didn't, otherwise he wouldn't have asked. He felt so utterly drained. He didn't want to answer any more questions; he just wanted to be told what had happened in the simplest terms possible.

"I think you should get some rest," Takada said, a pained expression contorting her features. "We can talk about it later."

"No… Now…" he insisted even though sleep did sound like a wonderful idea.

Misa and Takada exchanged a look before Takada turned back to him. "There was an electrical fire…at the concert. Frayed wires or faulty connections…something like that. We got out, but when we couldn't find Matt…you insisted on going back in to look for him…"

"I told you not to… So fucking stupid…" Misa said, shaking her head. She refused to look at him, choosing to stare out the small window on the other side of the room instead.

It sounded familiar, but the bits and pieces that came back to Mello as Takada explained seemed more like a dream than something that had actually happened. But where was Matt? Was he okay? "Matt?!" he tried again, it coming out with such urgency that he felt as though he may have strained his throat.

"He's fine, remember?" Misa snapped through her tears. "We already told you."

Right…Takada had said that Matt was fine. He'd forgotten. God, he just felt so tired…

"Misa…stop," Takada said firmly.

"I'm sorry." She turned and was suddenly running out the door.

Takada took a step to follow her but turned back to Mello. "Try to get some rest," she said softly and ran after Misa.

Rest. Yes, he would do that. Matt was fine. That was all that mattered.

• • •

Mello lay awake in his hospital bed. The clock on the wall read 8:45, which meant one of the nurses would be in soon to clean his burns. Hopefully it would be Nurse Claire.

He spent his first week in the hospital drifting in and out of consciousness. He would wake up, sometimes finding doctors or nurses in his room, sometimes Misa and Takada, and sometimes no one. If Matt visited, Mello was never awake to see him.

Dr. Anders, the doctor in charge of overseeing his injuries, had explained the severity of his condition to him on his second day in the hospital. He hadn't thought much about it until the doctor had brought it up, though he hadn't had much time to think about it either, having spent most of his time asleep, which he learned was a result of the heavy doses of pain medication he was receiving.

Dr. Anders had told him that much of the left side of his body was covered by second and third degree burns. They covered the left side of his face and neck, extending down over his shoulder to just above his left elbow.

He would receive skin grafts for the affected areas of his face and neck as well as the most severely burned areas over his shoulder. The doctor explained that he would still be left with scars but that the scaring would be a lot less severe than if they didn't perform the skin grafts. Those done on his face and neck were for cosmetic purposes; the one done on his shoulder was to limit the amount of tough scar tissue to form over a joint, which would have impaired its movement.

The dressings over his burns had to be changed once a day, and every day at 9:00 am, a nurse would come in to do so, most often the middle-aged nurse with curly hair that had brought him ice chips when he'd first woken up whose nametag read 'Claire.' He didn't mind the process so much when she did it; she was always friendly and talkative, trying to keep his mind busy as she cleaned and redressed his burns. He couldn't actually feel much of the process what with the strong pain medication he was on, but he appreciated the effort to distract him all the same. He didn't much care to think about his charred and blistered skin and had not once tried to look down at his burns while she cleaned them. He had, however, been elated the first time the bandaging had been removed to find that his vision in his left eye hadn't been damaged; it had been the dressings themselves that had blocked his sight, preventing his left eye from opening.

The door opened, and Nurse Claire walked in. "Oh! Awake already?" she said, giving him a smile. "How are you doing this morning, Mello?"

He smiled. It had taken him all week to convince her to call him Mello. She had started with Mr. Keehl and moved to Mihael when he protested to being called by his surname but had refused to switch over to his nickname until she'd finally given in the day before. "Bored," he replied. While he still slept most of the day and Misa and Takada visited daily, he had nothing to do when they weren't there.

"I could bring you something to read, if you like? Or maybe some crossword or Sudoku puzzles?" she offered, checking the heart monitor and writing something on his chart.

"A book would be great," he said earnestly.

"Any specific type of book?" she asked but didn't give him a chance to respond. A thermometer was stuck in his mouth, under his tongue.

When the device it was connected to let out a high pitched beep, she removed it and wrote down his temperature. "Horror, suspense…anything. I'm not picky," he said but quickly added, "Not sci-fi."

"I'll see what I can find," she said with a smile. "Now let's take a look at those burns of yours."

He let out a sigh. He'd prefer not to.

• • •

Dr. Anders stood at the end of Mello's bed, looking over his chart. "Well, the skin grafts are taking nicely, your burns seem to be healing well, and your temperature is back down. I'd say you're on the road to recovery," the doctor said, looking up at Mello from the chart.

"Great. When can I get out of here?"

"Burns of the severity you suffered don't heal overnight, Mr. Keehl." He had yet to convince Dr. Anders to call him Mello.

"I know. If they did, I would have been out of here already."

The doctor chuckled softly. "You've only been with us for nine days. Unfortunately, it takes quite a bit longer than that for third degree burns to heal."

"Alright, how long does it take then?"

"It depends on how quickly your body heals, but if I had to guess, I'd say you're looking at another three weeks with us."

"You're joking," Mello said dryly. There was no way in hell he was going to be spending another three weeks in the hospital. Fall classes started in just over three weeks.

"Unfortunately, I'm not. Most major burn victims stay in the hospital for about a month. I know it probably seems like a long time, but you're moving along right on track. In fact, I'm lowering the dose of your pain medication, effective today. You'll still receive higher doses before redressing and physical therapy sessions, but otherwise, I'm going to gradually start tapering off the doses."

He looked at Dr. Anders, stunned. "But…the Fall semester starts at the end of September…" he said weakly.

"You might want to think about seeing what online courses are offered or taking the semester off altogether. Even after you are discharged from the hospital, you'll still have outpatient rehabilitation," the doctor said. "Don't look so glum. The most important thing is that you get better."

He gave a half-hearted "Yeah" and Dr. Anders let out a sigh, evidently seeing that he wouldn't be cheering Mello up on this particular visit.

"Do you have any questions?"

"No," he grumbled. The doctor gave a curt nod and was out the door to attend to his other patients.

Mello tilted his head to the side, staring out the window. He couldn't see much from the angle he was at except the grey sides of other buildings, but it was arguably better than the interior of the room. He felt like he was going to die in that room.

He tried to look on the bright side. Lower doses of pain medication would mean that he wouldn't be so tired and out of it all the time…but it also meant that he would probably be able to start feeling things. Dr. Anders had said the he would be given higher doses before redressings and physical therapy sessions, but those too would end up being tapered off he imagined. Redressings and cleanings with Nurse Claire were one thing, but he couldn't even begin to imagine how painful his physical therapy sessions—once in the morning and once in the afternoon to prevent the hardening of the joints in his shoulder—would be with lower doses of painkillers.

And now he would have to pick out entirely new classes, that is, assuming UCLA even offered online classes. He didn't think they did, but he wasn't sure. And if they didn't? He wasn't sure what he was going to do. He didn't want to take the semester off. He hadn't even _started_ yet.

He felt so isolated in his little room: a prisoner in a stark white cell. He wished Matt were there with him, to tell him that things weren't as bad as they seemed, but he hadn't seen Matt once since he'd been in the hospital. He'd asked Misa and Takada where Matt was during several different visits, and each time, they refused to tell him. The most he had gotten out of them was that Matt was fine, but for all he knew, that was a lie.

He'd gone through different theories over the course of the last week: Matt was also in the hospital—or worse yet, dead—and they didn't think he could take the news in the condition he was in; talking to Sayu had rekindled old feelings Matt still had for her, and they had gotten back together; Sayu actually was pregnant, and Matt had gotten back together with her out of feelings of obligation; Matt just couldn't bear the idea of the ugly scars that would cover the left side of Mello's body and had abandoned him…

He didn't know what to think anymore.

Mello turned away from the window, closing his right eye. He didn't want to think anymore, but for the first time since he'd found himself in the hospital, he couldn't seem to fall asleep.

• • •

By the time Misa and Takada walked in the next afternoon, Mello had decided that feeling sorry for himself would get him nowhere. He'd decided that he would do what he had to regarding his fall classes even if that meant taking the semester off though he hoped it wouldn't come to that. Instead, he wanted to talk to Dr. Anders about just taking a smaller class load, perhaps only one or two courses, but he would have to wait until the doctor did his evening rounds to discuss it.

The more pressing issue was his uncertainties concerning Matt. He had planned to demand to know what was going on as soon as Misa and Takada walked through the door; however, he hadn't factored a certain development into his plan.

He looked up from the book Nurse Claire had brought him, a copy of _The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo_, the second he heard the door open, just quick enough to catch Misa and Takada holding hands before they parted. "What's that about?" he asked, a sly smile tugging at his lips as he stuck a scrap of paper between the pages to hold his place, happy to be done with the book for the time being. Although Nurse Claire had admitted that she had never read it, she had said that her daughter, who was about his age, loved the trilogy and thought he might enjoy it too. While the prologue had caught his attention, he'd found the first chapter to be rather long and dull; as of yet, the second chapter wasn't much better.

"What's what about?" Misa asked as she and Takada pulled the two chairs in the room up next to his bed.

"Don't play dumb. You know what I'm talking about."

"Seems like Mel-Mel is feeling better…" she said, not sounding entirely happy about it.

"The doctor lowered my pain medication."

"So you're not going to be half-dead when we visit anymore?" Takada said, raising an eyebrow at him.

"What do you mean half-dead?"

"Apparently not."

Giving up on convincing Takada to elaborate, he tried again, "So did something happen between you two?"

"I think I like drugged Mello better," Takada told Misa, ignoring his question. Misa let out a giggle.

"Thanks guys. You're such wonderful friends. Fine, don't tell me," he said, waiting for Misa to take the bait. If something really had happened, she would be dying to tell him.

Sure enough, as soon as he turned away from them, pretending to be upset, he heard an excited, "Can we _please_ tell him, Kiyomi?"

"I thought we were going to wait."

"But he's like actually _awake_ now. _Please_?" Mello slowly turned back to face them. Misa looked to Takada, a huge grin on her face.

Takada let out a sigh. "Yeah. Sure," she smiled, and Misa clapped her hands excitedly.

"Yay!" she exclaimed and grabbed Takada's hand in her own. "Me and Kiyomi are together now! We went on our first date last night," she told him proudly, and he saw Takada blush.

"Really? Congratulations!" he said, feigning surprise. "How did you finally end up getting together?"

"Finally?" Misa questioned, sounding confused, and he realized what he had said.

"Um…well…"

Understanding flashed over Misa's features. "You knew! I can't believe you knew she was gonna ask me on a date, and you didn't tell me!"

"I didn't actually _know_ she was going to ask…I just suggested she should talk to you about how she felt and-"

"Wait. So how long have you two been scheming about this?"

Takada turned to Misa sheepishly. "'Scheming' is such a strong word…"

"Since before I left for Ohio," he said, and Misa's jaw dropped.

"So when I asked you what I should do about how I felt…you knew?" Mello nodded, and a smile slowly spread across Misa's face. "I've taught my Mel-Mel well," she said, sounding impressed. "And _you_," she poked Takada's shoulder. "I didn't expect that out of you."

"It was really more Mello…" she admitted, her face turning red.

"And I can't take all the credit," he told Misa. "Matt was kinda in on it too. We sort of had a 'Get Misa and Takada Together' plan, but it got put on hold with the funeral and everything. Turns out Takada didn't need our help as much as we thought."

Takada looked stunned, and much to Mello's surprise, Misa looked like she was going to cry. He had thought they were done with that. Misa hadn't cried during one of her visits since his fourth day in the hospital. It took him a moment to realize what must have brought it on.

"Are you…ever going to tell me where Matt is?" he tried. His chest felt tight. Something was wrong. Why else would Misa be so upset just by his mentioning Matt?

Misa looked away, and Takada pursed her lips, looking worried.

"Tell me."

"We didn't want you to worry…" Misa said weakly.

"…What happened?" His voice was barely above a whisper, his mind immediately jumping to the worse.

"Matt…has been having a hard time with all this," Takada said slowly, her brow furrowed. She was obviously choosing her words carefully.

"A hard time…? What do you mean?"

"He blames himself for…what happened." She eyed the bandaging covering his burns, dropping her gaze to her lap.

"But that's ridiculous. It's not his fault." He couldn't believe it. Why would Matt blame himself? He had nothing to do with it.

"We tried to tell him, but he won't listen…" Misa said. "We told him to come see you again…"

"What do you mean 'again'? He was here? When?"

"After you got out of the emergency room and they transferred you here, we were allowed to come in and see you," Takada said solemnly. "Matt…he…he couldn't take seeing you like that… You almost looked dead…"

"But…I'm fine…" he said, and Takada gave him a look of pity that seemed to ask 'Have you looked in a mirror recently?' "Can't you…talk some sense into him?"

Takada shook her head wearily. "We've both tried."

Mello turned to look out the window at the grey buildings outside, his fingers running over the corner of the book Nurse Claire had given him, flipping through the pages absentmindedly. "Can you give him a message for me? Can you tell him that I said I love him, and I miss him, and that he needs to stop being an idiot and get his ass in here?"

Takada let out a faint laugh; it almost sounded like a sigh. "Sure… We'll let him know."

• • •

Mello turned the page, engrossed in his book. He had been both relieved and a bit surprised when it had finally picked up a few chapters in. He'd gone from not really wanting to pick it back up to not wanting to put it down, already a little more than half done with the over 600 page novel after only a couple days of having it.

He heard the door click open and ignored it, trying to at least finish the page before having to deal with whichever doctor or nurse had decided to check in on him. "Mello?" he heard, and his hand slipped, the pages of the book flipping shut, his place effectively lost.

His head snapped up from the forgotten book in his lap, looking to the doorway. Matt stood under the threshold, half in Mello's hospital room and still half out. He looked in sheepishly, his head bowed slightly, at an angle which didn't allow Mello to see his eyes through the orange lenses of his goggles.

"Matt…" he said, a grin spreading across his face. He could feel the tug of his healing skin under the bandaging on the left side of his face. It was hardly a pleasant feeling, but he didn't care. In that moment, he couldn't bring himself to care.

"I, um…" Matt looked around the room nervously: out the window, at the heart monitor next to the bed, at the boring pastel painting of a vase of flowers hanging on the wall opposite Mello—anywhere besides directly at Mello himself. "I…" he tried again but didn't seem to be able to finish.

"Matt, you can…come in the room," Mello offered uncertainly when Matt didn't move. The redhead gave a jerky nod and hesitantly stepped through the threshold. He closed the door behind himself and took a seat on one of the chairs, which had been pushed up against the wall after Misa and Takada had left the afternoon before. He looked terribly uncomfortable. "Matt, what are you doing? Come here." He could feel the smile fading from his lips. He finally had Matt with him—he was just there, on the other side of the room—but he felt so distant.

He watched as Matt inched the chair closer until he settled back down in it, still a couple feet away from the edge of the bed. "Matt…?" He reached out for him in vain, and his long forgotten book slid from his lap and toppled to the floor, landing facedown at Matt's feet.

Matt bent to pick it up, turning it so he could see the cover. He stared down at it in his hand. He remained like that, and Mello could only look on, the mere feet separating them spanning miles. He sat there, watching, waiting, until Matt's shoulders gave a shutter.

The book dropped to Matt's lap, his hands going to his goggles, pulling them down to hang around his neck. Though a hand quickly moved to rub at his eyes, trying to hide it, tears rolled down his face and fell to his lap, leaving little dark circles on his jeans. "I'm so sorry…"

"You don't have to apologize. I-"

"Really? I don't hafta apologize?" he said flatly, his hand falling away from his face, not bothering to try to cover his tears anymore. His eyes were bloodshot and the dark circles under them reminded Mello of the sleepless nights Matt had passed working on his music when they'd first gotten together. He looked miserable. "How can you say that?"

"It's not your fault…" He hated seeing Matt like that. When Takada had said that Matt blamed himself for what happened…he'd never thought it would be like this.

Matt shook his head. "Yes, it is… I asked you to come. You were there because of _me_… You-" he tried, but his lips pulled together in a thin line as he tried to collect himself, brow knitted together in despair. Mello watched as Matt collapsed in on himself, an arm clenched tightly around his ribs as he bowed his head, face in his hand; a silent sob shook his shoulders. He sniffed loudly, and hand still over the lower half of his face, he looked up at Mello, tears streaming down. "You went back in…_for me_… And now…" His eyes ran over the bandages that covered much of the left side of Mello's body, a few sobs escaping his throat. "I'm so sorry," he whispered.

"Matt, come here," he said gently, holding his hand out. Matt looked at it for a moment before slowly moving the chair closer with such careful, calculated movements, as if he were afraid that he might break Mello just by coming nearer. He set the book down on the edge of the bed with the same hesitancy, and Mello's hand closed the distance, cupping the side of Matt's face in his palm. "It's not your fault. I don't blame you at all, and I don't want you to blame yourself. I'm just glad you're here."

Matt nodded slowly, leaning into Mello's hand lightly. He sniffed again, a small, sad smile on his lips. And though Mello didn't know if Matt believed him yet, it was a start.

• • •

Mello stuck the scrap of paper between the pages to mark his place and sat the book on the bedside table. He leaned back and let out a sigh, listening as Matt snored softly.

He felt ridiculous, thinking over what Matt had told him about that night. His theories had been all wrong. Of course there was nothing left between Matt and Sayu. They had just talked, Matt explaining why he had done what he had and apologizing for how he'd handled things. They had been outside the entire time.

He looked down at Matt who was still sitting in the chair, bent over to rest his head on the bed, the top of his head pressed against Mello's hip. It hardly looked to be the most comfortable position, but Mello got the impression that it was the best Matt had been able to sleep in the past week and a half.

His hand moved down to rest in Matt's hair, his thumb running over the red locks softly. It seemed so surreal, being there in the hospital with Matt like that, like a dream that he would wake up from at any second to find himself back in the apartment, dozing on the couch as Matt got ready for his album release. But even if it wasn't a dream, he realized he wouldn't mind his reality so much as long as Matt was there by his side.

Content, he leaned his head back against the pillows and closed his eyes.

• • •

Matt eased the door open and peeked his head in. "Hey!" he greeted when he saw Mello was awake.

"You're early," Mello grinned, placing the notebook on the little table next to his bed and setting the pen on top.

"I traded shifts at work so I could be here longer," Matt shrugged, shutting the door behind him. He set the bag he was carrying in one of the chairs as he dragged it up next to the hospital bed.

"Is that…"

"Yep." He placed the bag on the edge of the bed as he sat down in the chair and pulled out Mello's laptop.

"Thank you so much," he said earnestly. He'd finished _The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo_ the day before as the second week of his hospital stay came to a close. He'd asked Nurse Claire that morning to bring him the second one in the trilogy if she could, and she had told him she'd have it by the end of the weekend. In the meantime, he had asked for a pen and paper.

"No problem," Matt smiled and leaned forward, kissing Mello softly, being careful of the left side of his face. He felt the distance every time Matt touched him, even it was only holding his hand. It was as if Matt were handling something frail that could shatter under the tiniest bit of pressure.

"It's okay, you know. I'm not gonna break."

"I just…don't wanna hurt you."

"You won't. Here," he said, shifting closer to Matt, leaning his left shoulder towards him. "Touch it." Matt looked at him uncertainly. "Go ahead."

Matt's hand hesitantly reached out to Mello's bandaged shoulder, but the second his fingers brushed the surface, Mello let out a scream, as if in pain. Matt jumped back, a look of horror on his face. "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" But Mello was doubled over in the bed, laughing uncontrollably.

The door flew open within seconds, a nurse looking in on them. "Is everything alright in here?" she asked, clearly confused when the sight that greeted her was hardly what she'd expected from the scream she'd heard.

"Yeah, we're fine," Mello managed, finally getting hold of himself again. The left side of his face felt sore from laughing.

The nurse gave them a stern look but left without another word, the door swinging shut behind her.

"You ahre such a fuckin' asshole," Matt grumbled, settling back down into the chair.

"Come on, it was joke… I'm sorry…" he said, but Matt sat with his arms crossed, looking away from him. "Mattie…come on…" He reached out, tugging on Matt's wrist until he eventually let him take his hand. "Look." He brought Matt's hand up to his shoulder, pressing it flat against the bandaging. "See? It's fine," he said, although it did sting a little even through the painkillers.

Matt let out a sigh and nodded.

"I'm sorry…" Mello said again. "Please don't be mad…"

Matt shook his head, his hand falling away from Mello's shoulder. "I'm not mad. I'm just sorry you hafta go through this…"

"Matt…please don't… It's not your fault." Mello had thought they were done with this. He didn't want Matt to blame himself anymore.

"If I wouldda done things different… If I wouldn't've taken so long talkin' to Sayu, I wouldda been back already…"

"And if I had just waited for you by the car with Misa and Takada, I would've found out you had been outside the entire time. Matt, it's not your fault. _I'm_ the one who decided to go back in… I don't want you blaming yourself." Matt gave a weak, half-hearted nod, but that wasn't good enough. "Matt- No, Matt, look at me. Stop it. You're being ridiculous. There was nothing you could've done, so stop acting like what happened was your fault. And stop treating me like I'm gonna break. Just because I have these stupid bandages on doesn't mean I'm an invalid, and it doesn't mean I'm fragile or weak." To send the message home, he reached out and grabbed the front of Matt's shirt, trying to pull him closer. Unfortunately, the angle he was at didn't allow him much more than to stretch Matt's shirt towards him.

"What ahre you doin'?"

"Come here!" he demanded, frustrated by his lack of success. Matt leaned closer, and Mello abandoned the front of his shirt to grab the back of his neck, pulling him down with as much force as he could manage to meet his lips, causing Matt to stumble forward off his chair in the process. His hip hit the bedside table, knocking the pen and notebook to the floor, and he had to brace himself on the bed to prevent himself from falling on top of Mello.

Mello kissed him roughly, almost violently, not letting Matt go until he was done making his point. "Got it?"

"Um…" Matt looked at him, surprise still written across his face, a small giddy smile appearing on his lips as he slowly sat back down, scooching the chair a bit closer this time. "Yes, sir."

"Good," Mello said, satisfied.

Matt let out a little laugh, shaking his head incredulously, and seeing the notebook he had knocked to the floor, he bent over to pick it up. "What's this?" he asked, opening the cover to the first page.

"I'm…writing a letter to my dad. I figured I might as well do something productive while I'm in here."

"Mmm," Matt muttered, flipping through page after page of crossed out and scribbled over beginnings to letters, not stopping long enough to read any of it. "Not havin' much luck?"

"I don't know what to say… 'Hey, dad. I'm in the hospital. No need to worry though. Just third degree burns.'"

Matt let out a snort of amusement and shrugged. "That could work."

"Yeah…right… I thought maybe if I took a break, tried working on something else, I might have better luck with it later," he sighed, motioning halfheartedly to his computer still sitting at the foot of the bed.

"Hey, Mels?"

"Hmm?"

"Am I ever gonna get to see that 'surprise' you were workin' on?"

Mello looked at him in surprise. He'd forgotten he'd mentioned it to Matt. That seemed so incredibly long ago… He thought about it for a moment and then said "Yeah, sure. Hand me my computer." He took it from Matt and sat it in his lap, opening the lid and pressing the power button. "It's not done," he explained as they waited for it to finish turning on. "And you don't actually get to have it until it's done."

"Okay…" Matt shrugged, watching the screen intently as the computer started up.

When his desktop finally appeared, Mello clicked on the icon for iTunes, and the window popped up. He scrolled through his playlists in the sidebar and clicked on the one he was looking for, turning the screen to face Matt.

Matt looked over the screen, clearly a bit confused. "What am I s'posed to be lookin' at?" he asked, and Mello moved the cursor over so that the little arrow sat next to the name of the playlist: 'Good Music for Matt.'

Matt's eyes lit up, looking up from the screen to Mello, a grin spreading across his face. "Can we listen to it now?" he asked, and Mello could hear the excitement in his voice.

"No, not until I'm done with it."

"But I mean, it's already up. I could very easily _accidently_ click on any one of these songs," Matt said, hand hovering over the mouse pad.

"Just like I could _accidently_ slam the laptop shut on your hand."

Matt jerked his hand back, just in case. "Y'know, you've been kinda violent lately. What the hell's in that medication they're givin' you?" he laughed.

Mello shrugged. "I think I'm just bored. You have no idea how awful it is, being stuck in here for two weeks straight. Every time anyone visits, it's like Christmas."

"Just…anyone? No one in particular?"

"Hmm…" he pretended to think about it. "Well…Takada never cries when she visits."

"Takada? Takada's your favorite now?" Matt said flatly. "And I only cried _once_," he added, blushing.

"Of course Takada's not my favorite," he scoffed. "Misa is."

"Wow, thanks. Love you too, Mello."

A soft smile came to Mello's lips. He shook his head slowly. "Is it really even a question?"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **As a couple of you have guessed, the songs I put at the beginning of each chapter are supposed to make up the "Good Music" playlists Matt and Mello made for each other. It's something I'd been on planning on revealing within the story itself, but then I couldn't figure out how to do it without listing all the songs out throughout the story, and that just would have been too tedious for me to write and for you to read.

I'm pretty sure I've said this before, but since someone brought it up in a review, I just want to reiterate that there will _not_ be a MisaxTakada spin-off, at least not right away. I'm not saying I will never ever write one, but I'm not saying it's a definite thing either. I might eventually return to the idea, but after Neon Hearts, I'm planning on writing something entirely different: a (most likely) novella-length fic called Favorite Worst Nightmare.

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>Awesomenessknowsnobounds, CatatonicVanity, BlOo KiSsEs, WammygirlZ, brightnight003, UltimateProcrastinator469, IssaHORROR, teB360, VampireDoll666, Carlazard, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, kay-kw33n, HeroofTwilight'sgf, and an anonymous reviewer


	29. Chapter 27: Decoration

Matt: Horizon by Leviathan  
>Mello: Kings &amp; Queens by 30 Seconds to Mars<p>

**Chapter 27: Decoration**

Mello looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, fingertips grazing over the crinkled and distorted skin of his cheek. Barely able to feel it, he pressed harder until it hurt.

He hated he scars that covered the left side of his face and neck.

After his month-long stay at the hospital, they were mostly healed now. They no longer needed to be covered in bandaging, but he had been instructed to clean them thoroughly once a day while he was in the shower, as well as massage and apply lotion to them several times a day during the final stages of their healing. He didn't mind washing them so much—he could almost pretend like they weren't there, like it was just a normal part of his shower routine. Massaging them, however, was torture.

It wasn't that they hurt; on the contrary, he'd lost a lot of feeling in the areas affected by his burns. It took quite a bit to actually feel anything through the stiff scar tissue. It had nothing to do with the faint sensations his damaged skin picked up on; rather, it was the feeling of the scars under his fingers, the fact that he was acutely aware of their existence throughout the entire process that made it so terrible.

He had been immensely grateful when Matt had offered to do it for him his first night home from the hospital only four days before. He would have never asked it of Matt, would have never wanted to put that burden on him when Mello knew how hard it had been for him to forgive himself for the scars that weren't even his fault to begin with. But for Matt to offer, it meant the world to him.

And for Matt to act as if nothing had changed, Mello was forever indebted.

With the exception of those times when Matt helped him take care of his scars, the redhead didn't even seem to notice them. Or if he did, he never said anything about them. Mello was thankful that he didn't, but at the same time, it was almost unnerving. Even if Matt refused to acknowledge it, things _had_ changed; the scarred man staring back at him in the mirror was a testament to that.

"Mello, have you seen my…? Mello?" He turned to see Matt standing in the doorway, looking on with concern. "Ahre you okay?"

Mello only looked at him for a moment. The goggles pushed up into his messy red hair, those green eyes filled with worry, the freckles that dotted his cheeks and spanned the bridge of his nose…Matt was just the same as always. He held no visible marks from that night.

"Do you think my scars are ugly?" Mello asked sadly, and a soft smile came to Matt's lips.

"What scahrs?"

"No, Matt. Look at me. Just because you pretend they're not there doesn't mean there not."

Matt shook his head. "I'm not pretendin'. Look," he said, pointing at the mirror. Mello turned back towards it, and Matt stepped into the bathroom behind him. A hand went to Mello's hip, and Matt rested his chin on the blond's shoulder. "When I look at you, I know the scahrs ahre there, but I don't see _them_. I see _you_." Matt raised his hand, holding it a couple inches from the left side of Mello's face so that the scars weren't visible in the mirror. "You're the same person you were before," he said and slowly lowered his hand. "Just with a little more decoration."

Mello smiled at Matt in the mirror, the muscles under his skin tugging at the stiff scars, and Matt leaned forward a little to kiss him on the cheek, hugging him from behind. He appreciated those words more than Matt would ever know.

But no matter how understanding and supportive Matt was, he was certain of the stares he would receive when he finally had to leave the apartment. He'd been avoiding going out since he'd come home from the hospital, but he couldn't be a hermit forever if only because he wouldn't let complete strangers have that power over him. Plus he had his first class the next morning. He hadn't fought with Dr. Anders to okay his registering for two classes that semester for nothing.

He would learn to ignore the stares from strangers, but what about when they visited Matt's family in October? He wasn't worried about Matt's parents—at least not for that reason—but what about Tegan? Kids weren't always the most understanding…

"C'mon," Matt said, untangling his arms from around Mello, "I need some help findin' my phone."

"Here, I'll call it for you," Mello said, pulling his own phone from his pocket and pushing the thought from his mind. He could worry about their trip to Boston later.

The _Star Wars_ theme played from somewhere in their apartment, sounding a bit muffled. They followed it into the bedroom, and Matt quickly located his phone. He bent down to pick it up from where it had fallen between the nightstand and the bed and answered it, pressing it to his ear. "Hello?" Matt said into the phone, but Mello had already ended the call. "I can't believe you hung up on me," Matt said with feigned offense, shaking his head as he pocketed his cell phone.

"We're in the same room. If you wanna talk to me, I'm right here," Mello laughed, but Matt glanced at the clock on the nightstand, and Mello knew what he was thinking before he even said it.

"Ahre you sure you're fine with me leavin'?

"I told you. I'll be fine. I'm not an invalid," he said firmly. They'd already had this conversation, and he didn't really want to have it again.

"Ahre you _sure_ you're okay with it though? I could skip the first day of class. We'll just be goin' over the syllabus anyway. It's not a big deal if you want me to stay." And there it was. Because even if Matt didn't care about the scars that now covered much of the left side of Mello's body, he still worried about him because of it. Mello knew it would pass in time, but for now…

"I'm _fine_. Besides, what are you gonna do? Skip all of your classes just because you don't want to leave me alone? Matt, I don't need a babysitter."

"I know…" Matt said, stepping closer. He took Mello's hand in his own, their fingers entwining. "It's just the first time you'll be here alone since you got home from the hospital and-"

"I won't be alone though."

Matt looked to him in surprise. "You…won't?"

"I…may have asked Misa and Kiyomi to come over. Misa doesn't have a class till later, and Kiyomi already had both her classes for the day this morning, so…"

"So what I'm hearin' is you _don't_ need a babysitter, right?" Matt smirked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"_No_, I don't. They're just…keeping me company. And it's not gonna be an all the time thing. Just today."

"_Sure_," Matt nodded disbelievingly.

"Don't give me that look. Seriously, it's just for today. I'm actually looking forward to having some alone time. I…I'm excited to have the time to work on my writing…"

"Really?" Matt's eyebrows shot up in surprise, and Mello nodded, a small grin tugging at his lips. "That's great!" Matt said, pulling Mello into a tight hug. He could hear the pride in Matt's voice. From the beginning, Matt had encouraged him to try writing again, if only to see what came of it. Now, not only would he finally have the opportunity but the will to do so. Maybe taking a smaller class load because of his injuries hadn't been a tragedy, but rather, a blessing in disguise.

The doorbell rang, and Matt pulled away. He glanced at the digital clock on the nightstand again and let out a sigh. "I should prob'ly get goin' soon…" he said and grabbed the black backpack sitting against the wall as they headed out into the living room, slinging it over his shoulder.

"Mel-Mel!" Misa exclaimed the second he had opened the door. She threw her arms around him more carefully than she once would have, being cautious of his scarred shoulder. He picked her up, swinging her around, hoping to convince her that he wasn't as frail as his scars suggested. He hated how he seemed to have to prove to everyone that they didn't need to be careful with him.

She squealed from the unexpected ride and looked almost disappointed when he put her down. "Mel-Mel's certainly in good mood today," she said, sounding surprised, and he shrugged, turning to Kiyomi who came in behind Misa.

"I can do without the rollercoaster ride greeting," she told him flatly. A devious smirk came to his face, and Kiyomi shook her head. "No, absolutely not," she said firmly, but Mello pulled her into a hug, swinging her around as he had done for Misa, one of her shoes, a pair of black flats, falling off in the process. "Put me down!" she shrieked, so he spun her around an extra time for good measure.

"Calm down, Kiki," he told her lightly, setting her back on her feet. She shot him a glare as she slipped her shoe back on, and his smirk widened. Only Misa was allowed to call her that, but that hadn't stopped him just like it had never stopped Kiyomi from calling him Mel-Mel when she wanted to annoy him. Not that he particularly liked using Misa's new nickname for Kiyomi. He'd just recently gotten used to calling the brunette by her first name; 'Kiki' was still a bit of a stretch for him.

"Are you sure you have to leave now?" he heard Misa ask sadly, and he turned to see Matt slipping on his Converse.

"Yeah…" he sighed. "I dunno how hahrd it's gonna be to find pahrkin' so…" He shrugged and gave Misa a quick hug goodbye, followed shortly by Kiyomi before moving to Mello. He pulled Mello tightly against his chest. "Love you, Mels."

"Love you too," Mello returned, and Matt gave him a kiss before turning to the door.

"Bye!" Misa called out, and Matt gave them a short wave before shutting the door behind him.

"Is Mel-Mel excited for his first day of college tomorrow?" Misa asked, and he turned to see Misa and Kiyomi settling in on the couch, Kiyomi's arm going around Misa's shoulders. Mello smiled at the scene before him, proud to have had a hand in getting them together. He still didn't always get along with Kiyomi, but he could see that she was good for Misa, especially compared to the type of people she normally dated.

"I guess," he shrugged, coming to sit next to them.

"That's not very enthusiastic… Are you worried about…?" Misa started, eyes falling on his scars.

"I'm just not super excited about the looks I'm gonna get…" he admitted, and Misa gave him a smile.

"If anyone gives you a hard time, I'll send Kiyomi to beat them up!"

Kiyomi snapped her head around to look at Misa. "No you won't," she scoffed.

"But Kiki protected Misa from that creep at the concert," the blonde girl contended.

"That was…different…"

"But Kiki is butch, right?" Misa asked innocently, and Mello burst out laughing.

"N-no," Kiyomi stammered, blushing wildly. "Misa, I don't think you know what that means… And even if I was, that doesn't mean I'd beat someone up for Mello…"

"But…" Misa started, looking confused, "Kiki likes to be on top. Doesn't that-"

"Oh my God! Misa, can we please not talk about this right now?!" she exclaimed, mortified. Mello could only laugh harder.

He felt content, sitting there on the couch with them, like he was exactly where he was supposed to be in life. Because despite everything he'd had to go through along the way to get there, he couldn't regret any of it when it had ultimately led him to where he was then, even if he had come out of it with just a little extra decoration. Somehow, it was difficult to imagine his life any other way.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **This ended up kinda short, but that's mostly because it was originally supposed to be the epilogue…and then a certain something came up that _had_ to be the epilogue (I'll give you three guesses for what that 'something' is x3), so this got demoted to being an abnormally short chapter.

Also, I just thought I'd mention that I posted a oneshot last week for Matt's birthday, y'know, in case anyone wanted to go check that out :)

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>CatatonicVanity, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, IssaHORROR, VampireDoll666, brightnight003, Lotta Devon, BlOo KiSsEs, HeroofTwilight'sgf, Awesomenessknowsnobounds, Lissa T3rror, CharLizzard


	30. Epilogue: Seashells (Part 1)

Matt: Still Remaining by Vexare  
>Mello: Take My Hand by Simple Plan<p>

**Epilogue: Seashells  
>Part 1: Friday<strong>

Mello stared at the computer screen, the blinking cursor taunting him where he'd left off typing. He read over what he'd just written and let out a sigh. This was going nowhere fast.

"Why don'tcha forget about that for a while? It's not due till Monday. Just wait till the last second like every other college student in the country," Matt said next to him, still staring down at the screen of his PSP, his thumbs madly crushing the buttons.

"This _is_ waiting till the last second," Mello insisted, deciding to take a break anyway and leaning over to watch as Matt's character killed the whatever-it-was he was fighting. "It's not like I'm gonna have time to do it over the weekend. I wanna have this stupid paper done by the time the plane lands."

Out of immediate danger now that the monster was gone, Matt paused the game, looking over at Mello. "Y'know we're gonna have a five and a half hour flight on the way back too, right?"

"Yeah, but I'm not-"

"Gonna wait till the last second?" Matt finished for him with a smirk. "Of course not. Have you ever?"

Mello couldn't argue with that. He wasn't one to procrastinate. "Don't you have some sort of program thing due on Monday? I suppose you're gonna wait until the flight home," he said, trying to take the focus off himself.

"Don't be ridiculous," Matt scoffed, going back to his game. "My class isn't until 2:30. I'll have plenty of time to do it Monday mornin'."

"Right," Mello rolled his eyes, turning back to the screen of his laptop. All he had to do was write three more pages on how the invention of computers changed society, but his heart just wasn't in it. He wished he would have chosen a different topic for his paper, but it was too late to change it now.

He glanced at the time and minimized the window his paper was open in, clicking on the short story he had been working on earlier that week. They still had three more hours until they would land in Boston; he had time to take a break. He liked the classes he was taking even if this particular paper was being difficult, but he was glad that at least for the time being, he was only taking two classes. It gave him time to work on his writing.

Matt claimed to see an improvement in the quality of Mello's stories since he'd started writing again, but upon hearing this, he'd seriously doubted it. After only a month since returning to his writing, he couldn't imagine that he'd made much improvement, but looking back on the first short story he'd done at the start of the semester, he could see that Matt had been right. The realization had given him a sense of accomplishment, of pride in his work.

But now that he looked over the paragraphs he'd written a few days before, he couldn't seem to bring himself back to it. Instead, his mind kept wandering to the conversation he'd had with Matt the day before.

Mello was more than a little nervous to meet Matt's family. Sure, he had talked to Tegan a few times with Matt on Skype and had even spoken to Matt's parents once on the phone, but that was different than spending two and a half days with them in their home. And to top it all off, Matt had informed him the day before that his mother was inviting some of his extended family over for dinner that night to celebrate Tegan's birthday.

"Matt?" he said, shutting his laptop and giving up on being productive for the time being.

"Hmm?"

"How many people are going to be there tonight? I mean…besides your parents and Tegan."

"Just my grandparents from my dad's side, my aunt and uncle, and my two cousins," he said distractedly, dodging an attack from an oncoming enemy.

'_Just_._'_ As if that wasn't enough. He supposed to Matt, it really was just a few extra people; Mello had heard stories of the large family reunions Matt's grandparents used to have when he'd been little. Yet to Mello, who had never seen much of his extended family growing up and was nervous about meeting Matt's family as it was, six extra people felt a bit overwhelming.

"Don't worry about it," Mello heard to his right and turned to see Matt smiling at him, his game paused and set in his lap. "It's just dinner."

"Yeah, dinner with like half your entire family…"

Matt snorted. "Hahrdly. My dad's the oldest of five. I have…" he paused, taking a second to count, "eleven cousins—and that's just on my dad's side."

"Fine. Not half, but it's still a lot…"

"Mels, you have nothin' to worry about. Well…my grandpa isn't super onboard with me bein' bi, but my grandma will love you, and my aunt and uncle are pretty cool. You'll see. It won't be so bad."

Mello nodded once, trying to convince himself that Matt was right. "What about your cousins?"

"Lizzy's nine, and Olivia is ten. They're little brats. Just ignore them," Matt said, shaking his head, and Mello couldn't help but smile. "What?"

"Nothing," he said, feeling more relaxed about the prospects of meeting Matt's family that night. Matt gave him a weird look, and with a shrug, went back to his game.

The window seat truly was wasted on him.

• • •

They headed for the baggage claim, Matt pulling his phone out of his pocket and turning it back on. "Watch for the suitcase. I'm gonna call Carmen to let her know we'll be out in a few minutes," he told Mello.

"Matt! Matt!" they heard before Mello even got the chance to respond, and they turned to see Tegan running towards them through the airport.

Matt's face lit up instantly. "Tegan!" he called out, dropping to her level as she neared and holding his arms out at his sides. She threw her arms around his neck, giggling as he picked her up and twirled her around.

"I missed you soooo much," she said as he returned her to the ground.

"I missed you too, kiddo. Happy birthday," he smiled down at her, and then seemed to remember something, scanning the crowd. "Hey, Tegan? Where's Carmen?"

"I dunno," she shrugged. "Back that way," she said, pointing in the direction she had come from.

"You shouldda-" Matt started, but Tegan suddenly let out a gasp, noticing Mello standing a couple feet away.

"Mello?" She looked up at him with wide eyes, and for a moment, he was worried that she may be freaked out by his scars. She'd seen them over Skype, but perhaps it was different in person.

"Yeah?" he said cautiously.

"Can I touch your scahrs?"

"Uh…" Taken aback by the question, he looked to Matt, who appeared to be trying very hard not to laugh at their exchange. "Sure…?" he said, kneeling down next to Tegan.

Her fingers hesitantly reached out, just grazing over the surface of the scars on his cheek. She let out another gasp, feeling the rises and falls of the distorted skin, jerking her hand away. "That's so _weird_," she said in amazement, returning her hand to his cheek, this time tracing her fingers over the scars with more confidence. He smiled, thankful that she appeared to be fascinated rather than repulsed.

"Tegan! Dios mío… Tegan!" Mello looked up into the swarm of people trying to collect their luggage to see a plump, middle-aged Mexican woman coming into view. He'd only seen her once, during the first time he'd talked to Tegan over Skype, but he recognized her almost instantly as Carmen. She spotted them standing there and hurried over, a bit out of breath. "There you are! Don't run off like that again, hija!" the woman scolded, but seeing Mello kneeling next to her, she halted in her footsteps and crossed herself, a look of fear coming over her. She addressed Matt, speaking to him in Spanish, all the while keeping her eyes firmly glued on Mello. He stood up slowly, watching as her eyes followed him.

"Miss Carmen…" Tegan said, sounding worried. "What's wrong? I'm sorry I didn't wait for you…"

Matt took a step towards Mello and placing a hand on his lower back. "Carmen, this is Mello," he said firmly. She hissed out something in Spanish, and Matt gave her a stern look before resigning himself to respond. He spoke quickly in Spanish, and while Mello didn't understand a word of it, he could tell that Matt was angry.

"Let's just get the suitcase so we can go," he grumbled, turning away from Carmen and making his way closer to the luggage claim. He paused after only a few steps, looking back at Tegan. "Hey Tegan, d'you wanna help us look for it?" he asked, his tone forcibly lighter, though still strained. She nodded, trailing after him, and with one last glance at Carmen, Mello followed him too, wondering what all that had been about.

• • •

"Can I see it _now_?!" Tegan exclaimed as soon as they walked through the door.

"Hang on, kiddo. You gotta give us a second to unpack, okay?" Matt said, slipping his shoes off and leaving them on the mat placed against the wall in the vestibule. Mello followed Matt's lead, leaving his shoes in the entryway, as he looked around in amazement. If the house was impressive from the outside, it was nothing compared to the interior.

The house was huge; that much had been evident from the look of the exterior, built in a neoclassical style, complete with columns extending up from the large porch to support the second floor balcony. But from the inside, it looked immense. Following Matt through the living room towards the mahogany staircase that led to the second floor, he wondered if he might actually get lost. He could just imagine getting up to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night and ending up halfway across the house, unable to find his way back in the dark.

"But Matt, you said I could see my present when we got back home," Tegan reminded him, bringing Mello out of his stunned state. He looked at Matt and Tegan walking ahead of him and realized that all of this—the huge house, the absolutely massive flat screen TV, the expensive looking paintings that adored the walls, even the chandelier that hung from the high ceiling over the living room—was all completely normal for them; he was the only one who felt like he'd stepped into a dream.

"Yeah, but it's _in_ the suitcase. Just let me set this down in my room, and it'll be the first thing I take out, okay?"

"Okay…" Tegan sighed, and then giving her brother a devious grin, she started running up the stairs. "Race ya!"

"Hey, no fair!" Matt proclaimed, struggling to chase after her with the suitcase still in hand. "You gotta head stahrt!"

"Matt," Carmen said, looking up at them from the first floor landing, "I prepared the guestroom for Mello. Show him the way, please."

Upon hearing this, Matt stopped immediately, turning to look back down the stairs at her. "You're jokin', right? Me and Mello have an _apahrtment_ together. You don't really think we sleep in separate beds, do you?"

Mello wasn't sure if Matt had said it to antagonize Carmen, but it certainly seemed to put her even more on edge. "Your parents' orders, not mine. Bring it up to them if you have a problem with it," she said, her voice sharp, and turned to walk away. "Let me know if you need anything."

"Matt," Mello whispered, finally having the chance to ask, "what was all that at the airport?"

"What's takin' you two so long?" Tegan called down to them just as Matt opened his mouth to respond.

"We're comin'," he told her before turning back to Mello. "Don't worry about it. I'll explain later," he whispered and started up the stairs again. "I'm still gonna win!" he said, and Tegan took off running down the hall with a squeal.

Mello kept up with Matt as he ran up the stairs and down the hall just so he would know where to go, all the while wondering what had happened with Carmen. It was obvious that she didn't like him, and he honestly hadn't expected her to. The one time he'd spoken to her before, she'd barely said two words to him, instead insisting on speaking to Matt in Spanish, much as she had done this time. When he'd asked Matt about it, he had told him that it wasn't that she didn't like Mello, it was that she didn't like them being together. Having been raised by his mother, he'd understood exactly what Matt had meant when he'd told Mello that Carmen was "old school Catholic," and it had suddenly made sense to him why she had acted the way she had.

But now…he couldn't understand what had changed. Carmen had to have known that he would be staying there; it shouldn't have been a surprise for her to find him with Matt in the airport. Thinking about it, he realized that he hadn't had his scar when she'd seen him before over Skype. But even if it had come as a surprise, it shouldn't have warranted the kind of response she'd had when she'd first seen him at the airport, and it certainty shouldn't have made her hate him even more…

"I won!" Tegan exclaimed, flopping down on the bed just as they made it to the doorway. Mello was surprised to see just how bare Matt's old room was. It looked almost skeletal, only a bed, an empty bookcase, and a desk; certainly a far cry from the clutter he'd found in Matt's apartment back in LA when he'd first moved in. Then again, he supposed all that clutter had originally been housed in this room and was just transferred to the apartment when Matt had moved out. It was strange to imagine all of Matt's stuff here instead of back home.

"You did have a head stahrt though," Matt panted out, trying to catch his breath.

"I still won," she contended, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Alright, alright, you won," Matt said, setting the suitcase down and opening it. "And since you won, you're prize is…" he fished around in the suitcase, searching for where they'd tucked Tegan's birthday gift away. "Here it is," he said more or less to himself and pulled the small dark blue jewelry box out, handing it to her. "Happy birthday, kiddo."

She opened the box and let out a gasp, her eyes lighting up. "They're so pretty!" she said, looking down at the little golden starfish earrings. "Thank you, Matt!" she hopped up from the bed and threw her arms around him.

"You're welcome, but they're from both of us," Matt told her. "Mello's the one who actually found 'em. I told him how much you love the ocean, and since you're gettin' your ears pierced this weekend…"

"They're amazin'! Thank you, Mello!" Tegan's arms were suddenly around his waist, her head resting just below his chest, and he was left a bit taken aback.

"You're, uh…welcome," he said, feeling a bit awkward. Not sure what to do, he patted her on the head.

"Tegan, why don'tcha show Mello around the house?" Matt suggested. "I wanna go talk to Carmen for a minute."

"Okay!" Tegan grabbed Mello's hand and dragged him towards the door, her birthday present still in hand. "I wanna show you my room! One of mum's friends painted the walls to look like it's underwater."

"Oh, that's…really cool," he said, glancing over his shoulder at Matt, who only gave him an encouraging smile. He gave up, letting Tegan lead him from Matt's old room and down the hall, still not sure how he was going to fare alone with Tegan. He'd gotten more comfortable talking to her over the past month as Matt had tried to Skype with her regularly, but it was different being there in person. He was sure it was painfully obvious that he had next to zero experience with children, and now Matt had told them to go off alone, essentially leaving Mello in charge since, out of him and Tegan, he was the adult. He really didn't feel like he was ready for this.

"Look!" Tegan said, opening a door a little way down the hall from Matt's old room. "See? It's like you're underwater in the ocean." It did, in fact, have an underwater feel, the walls painted to look like a coral reef. Fish swam around the coral in a multitude of colors, and a sea turtle even appeared above her bed. "This one's my favorite," she said, pointing to a small yellow fish with thin blue stripes and a blue patch over its eye next to her closet. "Which one's your favorite?"

"Uh…" As he looked around, he noticed several other types of sea creatures, ones he was honestly a bit surprised to see in an eight-year-old girl's room: a stingray hovering over a dresser, a sleek shark swimming past the desk, and an eel peeking out from a gap in the coral by the door. "I don't know…there's just so many… You said your mom's friend did this."

"Mhmm," she nodded, sitting down on her bed and picking up one of the stuffed animals there: a white seal that wasn't quite so white anymore. "Jackie's an ahrtist. I wanna be an ahrtist just like her when I grow up."

"Really?" He wondered what her parents thought of that after they had given Matt such a hard time about his music. Perhaps they just thought it was a phase, and maybe it was. He remembered all the careers he'd thought he'd want to go into while he was growing up, everything from teacher to astronaut. Funny how certain he had been of each career when he'd been little; now that it was time to start deciding, he had no idea.

"Yeah. D'you wanna see my drawings?"

"Sure."

She sat the seal back down and hopped off the bed, running to her desk. She opened one of the drawers to pull out a tablet of drawing paper and started flipping through the pages, stopping at her favorites. "This is Abby. She's our cat, but she doesn't like new people, so don't feel bad if she hides from you," she said, showing him a drawing of a short haired tabby.

Mello looked at the drawing, astounded. It certainly wasn't going to win any awards, but for a child's handiwork, it was really quite exceptional. "This is really good," he said, and a wide grin spread across her face.

"Thanks!" she said, beaming, and continued to the next page: a drawing of the neighbor's dog.

• • •

"Play your song next!" Tegan said, and Mello felt a tug on his hair. "Oops…sorry, Mello."

"Alright, but this is the last one," Matt said, looking over at them from the piano, a grin suddenly appearing on his lips. "Mels, d'you have any idea what your hair looks like?"

"No, why?" he asked, his stomach sinking. After Tegan had finished showing him her drawings and had introduced him to all her stuffed animals, she'd given him a tour of the house, and they'd eventually found Matt in the kitchen, still talking to Carmen. Their argument had quickly dissipated when they saw Mello and Tegan, and Matt had joined them for the rest of the tour, asking Tegan what she wanted to do when they were done.

Mello had been a little hesitant when the first thing that Tegan came up with was playing with his hair. Matt had clearly gotten a kick out of it though, and perhaps despite his better judgment, Mello had agreed.

"It's not done yet! You can't look at it till it's done!" Tegan said, holding onto his shoulders as if that would stop him from getting up from where they were sitting on the couch.

"O-okay…" Mello said, suddenly very worried about what had been done to his hair. "And you," he said, glaring at Matt, "this isn't funny. You're next. Right, Tegan?"

"Really?! Matt, can I?! Please, please, please!"

"Uh…my hair's kinda short for that, isn't it…?" Matt said, no longer finding the situation funny.

"Naw, I think I can do _somethin'_ with it," she said, and while Mello couldn't see her face as his back was turned to her, he could practically hear the devious smirk he was sure she was wearing in her voice.

"We'll, uh…see," Matt said, turning back to the piano, suddenly motivated to play.

Mello had known that Matt could play the piano, but he had still been surprised when he'd sat down to play after Tegan had requested a song. He could tell that Matt was a bit rusty after not having played for so long, but after a few songs in, he was starting to get a feel for it again, making fewer mistakes.

He had played whatever Tegan requested, from classical songs that Mello didn't recognized to the Mario theme song, and now, something she had only referred to as 'your song.' Mello waited for him to find the right sheet music, but instead, he sat the music from the previous song aside and started playing from memory.

Mello recognized the opening chords almost instantly. He'd heard them a hundred times before when he and Matt had been writing the lyrics to the song they had worked on together: the song he'd written for Tegan.

The tempo was slower than in the version Mello was familiar with, but it was otherwise identical to the intro of the electronic version. He listened with rapt attention, completely absorbed in the music, fascinated by the beautiful melody that coincided with the electronic beat he had come to know so well. He was quite simply astounded.

The front door opened, and the music stopped immediately. Mello turned to see a woman in a blazer and pencil skirt walk in, her red hair pulled back away from her face in a tight bun. She slipped her high heels off, keeping her cell phone pressed to her ear. Tegan jumped up from the couch, running towards her. She threw her arms around her, and the woman distractedly hugged her back with one arm. "Mum, look! I did Mello's hair!" Tegan said, pointing towards Mello on the couch, and with this, Mello reached up to feel his hair. It felt like there were about a thousand tiny braids in it. He quickly tried to brush them out with his fingers before Matt's mother could see, but it proved harder than he would have liked.

"Mum!" Tegan tried again when her mother didn't acknowledge what she had said the first time.

"Not now, Tegan. I'm on the phone," she said, holding up her finger to tell her to wait a minute. "Yes, I _know_," she said into the phone. "No, I don't care _how_ you get it done; just make sure it's done by Monday."

She ended her call as Mello was finishing unbraiding the first half of his head, his fingers working frantically. "Now, what did you want me to see, Tegan?" she asked. "Oh!" Her eyebrows shot up, accentuating the thin lines that crossed her forehead.

"I did Mello's hair!" she told her mother proudly.

"Yes, yes, I see that…"

He looked at her, feeling his cheeks burn bright, and gave up on his hair. "H-hello."

"Lovely to meet you, I'm sure," she said, although by her expression, he seriously doubted that. But it wasn't just her apparent lack of sincerity that stuck out to him; he was surprised to find that she didn't seem to have an accent or at least not one that stuck out to him like Matt's often did.

"Nice to meet you too…" he said, wondering about it. He'd have to remember to ask Matt about it later.

"Hey, mum," Matt said flatly, not bothering to get up from the piano. "You're home early."

"Yes, well, I need to make sure everything is set up properly for dinner tonight. I'm hoping they will get along fine without me at the office for one afternoon," she said, checking something on her phone. "It's nice to see you playing the piano without being forced to," she commented when she looked back up.

"Yeah, and it's nice not to be forced to play anymore."

"So you like it in LA then? Away from any sort of responsibility to us?"

"I didn't say that."

"No, you didn't have to. We haven't seen you since last Easter, and you don't even get up to give me a hug when I come in."

Matt let out a sigh and got up from the piano, going over to give his mother a hug. "It's good to see you again, mum."

"And you, Mail. Now if you don't mind," she said, starting for the stairs.

"Wait," Matt said. "Hey, mum, there's somethin' I wanted to talk to you about. Carmen said you and dad told her to set me and Mello up in separate rooms…?"

She pursed her lips, giving him a stern look. "Mail, I can't stop you from doing…_whatever_ with him when you're on the other side of the country," she said, glancing over at Mello," but your father and I discussed it, and we're not comfortable with you and your…boyfriend sleeping in the same room while you're here. It's only two nights. I think you'll survive. You'll be in your old room, and Mello will be in the guest room. Do we understand each other?" Matt only gave a sigh, his stare cold. "Good," she said, taking this as an affirmative response, and turned to go upstairs.

• • •

"Hey! Not fair!" Tegan said, losing control of her car after being hit by a red shell. Matt sped past her.

"Plenty fair," he said, leaning with his whole body to take the turn on the course.

"Nuh-uh!"

"Yeah, it was," Matt said with a laugh. "Whadda you think, Mello? That was definitely a fair move, right?"

"Anything that helps me get out of last place is fair," he said, trying to take a sharp turn and running into a wall. Mario Kart wasn't his strong suit.

"See? Mello agrees with me."

"Fine, but I'm still gonna win!" Tegan said, passing Matt at the last second and crossing the finish line.

"Oh, c'mon! Now who's not bein' fair?"

"Still you! Throwin' turtle shells at me!"

"Items ahre completely legal! But that little maneuver you did at the end there, that can't be."

"Uh-huh!"

"Nuh-uh!" Matt insisted, grabbing Tegan and tickling her sides as Mello finally made it across the finish line. She squealed loudly, kicking her feet out, but didn't try to squirm away.

"Okay! Okay!" she conceded. "You're right!"

"That's more like it!" Matt said, finally relenting.

Laying across Matt's lap, Tegan looked up at Mello upside down. "Is Mello ticklish?" she asked Matt, grinning up at him.

Mello looked at Matt. "No…no, absolutely not."

"Y'know, Tegan, he's actually _very_ ticklish," Matt said, giving him the same grin as Tegan. It was like being cornered by two sharks.

Needing no more invitation, Tegan reached out, her fingers quickly going over his ribs. He was incapacitated within seconds by someone less than half his size, rolling on the floor, laughing hysterically. At least when Matt joined in, he felt a little better about not being able to fight back.

The door clicked open, and Tegan stopped, her head popping up to look around the couch. "Daddy!" she squealed, forgetting the tickle war she and her brother had been waging against Mello.

"Happy birthday, sweetheart," he heard and tried to get up to no avail. Matt smirked down at him, pinning him to the floor. He could feel his heart pound in his chest, starting to panic. Maybe Matt didn't care if his father found them like that, but Mello didn't want Mr. Jeevas's first impression of him as being the blond he found his son straddling on the floor in the living room. Somehow he felt that might be a bit worse than meeting Matt's mom with his hair in braids.

"Matt, _get off me_," he hissed out, his eyes wide with panic.

"Relax," Matt whispered and leaned down to kiss Mello before sliding off of him and standing up. "Hey, dad." Mello quickly sat up, combing his hair out with his fingers to make sure it wasn't messy, and stood up next to Matt.

"Good to see you home again, son," Mr. Jeevas said, walking over to them, Tegan at his heels, and clapping Matt on the shoulder. "And you must be Mello," he said, this time turning to him.

"Uh, yeah…"

"Alec Jeevas," he held out his hand for Mello to shake, his grasp firm. "Good to meet you."

"Good to meet you too," he smiled, surprised to find himself more at ease with Matt's father than he had with his mother.

"Oh good. Alec, you're home. I need your help with something," Mrs. Jeevas said, coming into the room, no longer wearing her business attire but still in a formal looking blouse and skirt.

"Just let me change first, and I'll be right back down."

"Tegan, why don't you run upstairs and change for dinner as well. Everyone is going to be arriving soon." Tegan nodded to her mother and bounded up the stairs. "Did you bring anything…_nicer_ to wear?" she asked, turning to Matt and Mello.

"I dunno, mum. Didn't realize I was gonna need a suit for dinner," Matt said flatly.

"Why don't you just go put on the most tasteful thing you brought with you, hmm? Surely you have to have something more suitable than _that_," she said, looking over the hoodie and jeans Matt was wearing. "You too please, Mello," she added with a tight smile.

"Yeah, alright," Matt sighed loudly and started up the stairs, resigning himself to his mother's request.

"And I know you love them, but please take off those ridiculous looking goggles," she called after him. Matt didn't bother to respond. Mello followed him upstairs and to his room where their clothes were still tucked away in the suitcase they were sharing, as of yet unpacked.

Matt was already digging through the suitcase when Mello shut the door behind himself. "I dunno what she thinks we're gonna wear…" Matt grumbled, pulling out t-shirt after t-shirt from his side of the suitcase. "I don't even know why we hafta get dressed up in the first place. We're havin' some family over, not goin' to a fuckin' five-stahr restaurant…"

"Matt, it's fine. I packed a couple button downs. You can just borrow one," he said, searching through his side. He pulled out a black shirt with white pinstripes and handed it to Matt, keeping one in white, black, and red plaid for himself.

"I guess it's not that big a deal," Matt said, taking off his goggles and pulling the hoodie off over his head and the t-shirt underneath. "I just wish she wouldn't be so fuckin' uptight about everythin'. And just the way she says things, you can tell she's bein' disapprovin'." Mello couldn't argue with that; he had felt the same way. "Whatever…" he sighed, shaking his head, "I'm here for Tegan, not her or my dad."

"Well, your dad seems nice enough…" Mello tried, buttoning his shirt.

"He's not so upfront about bein' judgmental—I'll give him that—but you've met him for all of about five minutes. You'll see…" he said, and for a second, Mello thought he saw a certain sadness come over Matt, but it was gone nearly as soon as it had appeared to be replaced by a small smile. "I love that shirt on you, y'know," he said, looking over Mello. "You wore that when we went to the cahrnival."

"That's right…" Mello said, remembering. "And I was wishing I'd put on something with short sleeves all day. Even with the sleeves rolled up, it was too hot. I was so happy when the sun started going down," but thinking about it, he realized that hadn't been the case at all. "Well…no, when the sun started to set, I got worried I was running out of time."

"Runnin' outta time?"

"Yeah…I thought you were into me before then, but every time I tried to flirt with you at the carnival, you'd start acting flustered and changed the subject. By the time the sun started setting, I was starting to feel like I was running out of time to figure out how you felt… That's why I asked if you wanted to go on the Ferris wheel. I figured it would be a little more intimate, and by the time we got back to the ground, I'd know."

"_That's_ why you wanted to go on the Ferris wheel?" Matt said, dumbfounded. "You couldda just asked me, y'know, _on the ground_."

"Hey, I didn't know you were gonna freak out," Mello laughed. "Besides, it kinda worked. Not how I thought it would, but it did work." He moved closer, his arms going around Matt's waist. "And would you really have just wanted me to ask how you felt? That would've been so awkward, and you were being awkward enough for both of us," he smirked, and Matt rolled his eyes. "What? You were."

"Must not've been that bad if you were still interested in me."

Mello shrugged. "I thought it was kinda cute," he said and leaned in, his lips moving over Matt's softly.

They parted, and Matt let out a sigh. "Let's go, I guess. Don't want 'em gettin' suspicious about what we're doin' up here." Mello nodded. He didn't want to go back downstairs, but it would be better than having Matt's parents come looking for them, even if they weren't really doing anything.

• • •

Chatter rose up around the large rectangular table in the Jeevas's formal dining room. Matt's grandfather, a large man with a white mustache who had served in the Korean War, was talking to Mr. Jeevas about the awful job the Democratic government was doing, while Mrs. Jeevas and Matt's aunt were sharing stories about their daughters with Matt's grandmother.

It had been a bit overwhelming to meet the sudden influx of people. First Matt's aunt and uncle had come in with their two daughters, and while he'd only gotten a chance to speak to them briefly before Matt's grandparents arrived, he liked them. They were very warm people who made him feel more welcome there than his brief encounters with Matt's parents had. His grandparents, however, were an entirely different story.

Matt's grandmother was a small woman with short curly hair. Upon meeting her, she had insisted on giving him a hug and a rather wet kiss on the cheek, leaving a smudge of lipstick behind. She seemed nice enough, but the lipstick had been a bit difficult to get off, and as he had wiped at his cheek with his hand, Matt's grandfather had come up to him to introduce himself. He'd held out his hand to shake, and for such an old man, he had an absolutely bone crushing grip, one that left Mello's hand tingling a bit. When Mello had tried to introduce himself, Matt's grandfather had interrupted him, saying he knew who he was. With one last scrutinizing look, Matt's grandfather had told him to get a haircut and went to join his wife in the dining room. Mello had avoided talking to the man since. It hadn't been the most pleasant meeting, and it wasn't an experience he wished to relive.

"So Mello," Matt's uncle said from across the table, "what ahre you going to college for?"

"Uh…well, I'm still undecided, but Matt's been encouraging me to try to do something with my writing," he said, and Matt smiled over at him.

"Oh really? What do you write?"

"Mostly short stories."

"Any specific genre?"

"Uh…not really… I've tried a few things, but I haven't really found my niche yet…"

"I really like your horror stuff," Matt said. "That one about the serial killer impersonatin' the detective was prob'ly my favorite. I actually think that would make a good longer piece, like a novel or somethin'."

"Really?"

"Yeah, absolutely."

"Alright…I guess I'll think about it…" He'd never really considered writing a novel-length piece before; it seemed like such a daunting task, something insurmountable. But maybe…maybe he'd have to think about it and see what came of the idea.

"So you want to be a writer?" Mr. Jeevas said, and Mello turned to see him looking at him expectantly.

"Yeah, maybe."

"And if that doesn't work out?"

"I…don't really know yet."

"Surely you must have a backup plan. Do you have any idea how unlikely it is that you will get published? And that's even if you are a good writer."

"I know…" Mello said solemnly. He knew what Mr. Jeevas was telling him was true, but that didn't make it easier to hear, especially with the prospects of a novel swimming in his head.

"Then you know how important it is to focus on a contingency plan because, chances are, you'll end up needing it."

"Dad, why don'tcha just leave Mello alone about it?" Matt grit out. "We'll figure it out, okay?"

"'We'?" Mr. Jeevas echoed, raising an eyebrow at his son. "Is this really about Mello or you and your music?"

"I-it's…about _everythin'_, dad. You can't ever just _support_ someone."

"I'm just trying to be realistic. You understand that, right Mello?" he said calmly, turning back to Mello.

"Uh…"

"No, dad. Realistic is one thing. You'd just rather no one ever took any chances!" Matt said, voice gradually rising as he spoke. "Always take the safe way out, right?! Whatever's guaranteed to make you the most money?!"

"Mail, we all know you're going to do what you want anyway, so please just calm down. You're making a scene. Remember, we're here for Tegan's birthday, not to fulfill your need for attention."

Hearing the mention of Tegan's birthday, Matt held his tongue, his lips pressed together in a thin line. He glanced over at Tegan, who was watching them, a sad look on her face. But she wasn't the only one. Everyone around the table had stopped their conversations and was now staring at Matt and his father, looks of shock and of mild horror on their faces. Matt quickly shifted his gaze down to his plate, away from all their prying eyes, appearing as if he wanted to murder his chicken parmesan.

"Um…" Mello started hesitantly, and all eyes shifted to him, surprised that he was choosing this moment to speak up. But they weren't the one's he wanted to talk to. He turned to Matt's father. "I think you're right," he started, and Matt shot him a look of shock, one that questioned Mello's betrayal. "I think it's good to have a backup plan, just in case. I might not have one yet, but Matt does. He's a really good programmer, and I know you think his music is a waste of time, but if you could see just how passionate he is about it, I think you'd reconsider."

"I know he's passionate about it but-"

"Did you know he released his first album in August?" Mello asked, and his heart jumped into his throat when he realized he'd just interrupted Matt's father. "Made quite a bit from it too…" he added, the confidence draining from his voice.

"No, I…I didn't know," Mr. Jeevas said and then turned to Matt. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"I didn't think you'd care…"

"Of course we care," his mother said.

"Yes, of course we do. That's wonderful, son," Mr. Jeevas said, a look of pride on his face.

A round of congratulations came from Matt's grandparents, aunt, and uncle as Tegan talked to her cousins about how her big brother was going to be a superstar. Matt thanked each of them, blushing an embarrassed pink. "Thank you," he whispered to Mello.

"No problem," he returned, taking Matt's hand under the table.

• • •

Mello looked at the clock on the bedside table in the guest room. It read 11:00 pm, but it was only 8:00 back in Los Angeles. He knew he should try to adjust to the time change, but he just didn't feel tired.

He let out a sigh, laying down in bed, and picked up his phone from where he'd sat it on the little table next to the bed to charge. Seeing he had a new text from Misa from about an hour ago, he opened it, reading the short text in the otherwise dark room. _How are things with Matt's family?_

_Interesting_, he typed and hit send, remembering how things had gone at dinner and, what more, the goodbye Matt's grandfather had given him. He'd expected a handshake and perhaps another comment about his hair; instead, the older man had clapped Mello on the shoulder and had told him that he may not like him, but he respected him for standing up for Matt like that at dinner. It was more than Mello could have hoped for even if Matt's grandfather had followed it up by reiterating that he thought Mello needed a haircut.

His phone vibrated, and he looked down at the screen. _Uh oh. Interesting good or interesting bad?_

_A little of both._

_I can't wait to hear about it but we're getting ready to go to a party._

He looked down at the text in shock. _You convinced Kiyomi to go to a party?_

_It's not like a fun party. It's a formal thing I got invited to because of one of my modeling jobs. It's probably gonna be kind of boring but hopefully I can get another job out of it._ That made much more sense. If that were the case, he imagined Kiyomi was probably more excited about it than Misa. His phone vibrated again. _What do you think?_ accompanied an image of Misa taking a picture of herself in the full-length mirror she had in her room. She looked less than happy about the formal looking plum-colored floor-length dress she was wearing, her hair done in an elegant twist pinned high on the back of her head; soft ringlets bordered her face, her bangs swept to the side.

_You look beautiful_, he told her.

_That's what Kiyomi said but it's too long and too formal and too boring :(_

_Of course it is._ He imagined that Kiyomi had probably picked out the dress. If it were completely up to Misa, he was sure she would have worn something more revealing, perhaps with a mix of black and neon colors and covered in bows and lace.

_What's that supposed to mean?_

_Nothing. Never mind._

_If you say so… But we have to get going so…ttyl! :)_

_Alright, bye._ He hit send and sat his phone on the nightstand, running a hand over his face. 11:18 and no closer to sleep. He wished he would have remembered to grab his computer when he was moving his clothes over to the guest room—at least then he'd have something to do. Instead, it still sat in Matt's room on the desk where he'd placed it when he came in.

He let out a sigh in the dark room and, looking at the clock on the nightstand again, decided he should at least _try_ to go to sleep. He lay down and pulled the covers up around him, willing himself to feel tired.

After about ten minutes of tossing and turning and readjusting when he couldn't get comfortable, he had the bed all but destroyed, half the covers on the floor and the other half bunched up at his waist. He was beginning to think it was a lost cause when he heard the door click open. He rolled over to see Matt slipping in through the crack he'd made in the doorway. "Matt, what are you-?"

"Shhh!" He quickly shut the door, careful to do so as quietly as possible. "What the hell did you do to the bed?" he whispered, tiptoeing across the hardwood floor to slide into bed next to Mello.

"I was trying to go to sleep."

"Seriously? Now? I'm still wide awake."

"So am I. That's the problem," he said flatly, and a grin spread across Matt's face.

"It doesn't hafta be a problem," he said, slipping a finger under the waistband of Mello's boxers and sliding it back and forth teasingly.

"Matt, you're parents are right down the hall…"

"I know," he shrugged. "We can be quiet."

He looked at Matt, the smirk on his lips, the gleam in his eye, and he really wanted to, but the very idea of getting caught by Matt's parents was mortifying. "I really… I just… I don't think it's a good idea."

"Fine," Matt sighed, giving up and lying back, his hands behind his head, staring up at the ceiling.

"Sorry…"

"Naw, you're right. Prob'ly best not to chance it," he said, turning his head to give Mello a wry smile, it slowly fading to something more genuine. "I…really did appreciate what you said at dinner today."

"I just told your dad what I thought," he shrugged as if it had been no big deal. In reality, it had been terrifying.

"I know, but…it really did mean a lot to me… I think that's the first time my parents ever actually seemed proud of me for my music…"

"I'm glad I could help," he smiled, remembering how pleased Matt's parents had been to hear about the success of his first album. "Hey, uh…I was wondering…" he started, knowing it would seem out of the blue, but he'd been meaning to ask Matt all day. "Why don't your parents have an accent?"

At that, Matt started laughing, struggling to stay quiet. "You know not everyone in Bahstin has the same accent, right?"

"I figured everyone wouldn't speak _exactly_ the same but…"

"Well, for my parents, it's more of a business thing. For some people, the accent is sorta a point of pride, but then havin' a super noticeable accent is considered low class and unprofessional by a lotta people like my mum and dad. I think it's bullshit. I'm just gonna talk how I talk, y'know?

"But naw, there ahre a lotta little variations here. A lotta the time you can tell what pahrt of Bahstin a person's from by the way they talk. Like, one of my best friends from high school grew up in Southie, and you can _really_ tell. He's actually the one who helped me out fixin' up my cahr. He's workin' as a mechanic now not too fahr from here. I was thinkin' about stoppin' by to catch up with him tomorrow while Tegan's busy with her piano lesson if you were interested."

"Oh, uh…sure," he said, a bit surprised. This was the first he had heard of it, but the idea of meeting one of Matt's old friends was certainly intriguing.

"Awesome," Matt smiled, his excitement showing through. "You'll like him. He's a pretty cool guy."

"I can't wait," Mello smiled, cuddling up closer to Matt. He loved seeing into Matt's old life, being let into a world he'd heard so much about.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** As it turns out, there is way too much that I want to cover of their trip to Boston, so I've decided to split the epilogue into three parts in correlation with the three days they spend there. Yes, I know this is more than a little unorthodox for an epilogue, but I'd rather be able to spend ample time on everything that goes on during their visit rather than cutting things down just to make it all fit into one part.

Also, I posted another oneshot a couple weeks ago. If anyone is interested, it's called "The Midday Shift." I'm really happy with the way this one turned out, so please go check it out :)

**A special thanks to the following reviewers: **CatatonicVanity, RiinaVenecara, BlOo KiSsEs, NinjaWarLord, theheartstourniquet, brightnight003, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, HeroofTwilight'sgf, Chai-Monster, FragileBlueButterflies, VampireDoll666, IssaHORROR, Awesomenessknowsnobounds, chibichocolate1313, krihs, Carlazard, minzy


	31. Epilogue: Seashells (Part 2)

**A quick note regarding colloquial Bostonian terminology:** The term "Southie" (which Matt's mother uses in the first section of this chapter) is locally used to refer to South Boston, which is primarily composed of blue-collar neighborhoods.

* * *

><p>Matt: Highs and Lows by EnrightBeats<br>Mello: The Resistance by Anberlin

**Epilogue: Seashells  
>Part 2: Saturday<strong>

Mello rolled over in bed, groaning softly as he slowly brought a hand up to rub at his eyes. It felt too early, like he should still be asleep for another couple hours at least, and the bed was uncomfortable, the vacant space next to him a reminder of where he was. He let out a sigh and peeked out from under the covers at the clock. He couldn't figure out for the life of him why he was awake at 7:40. He'd only gone to sleep a little before 2:30 in the morning after Matt had stuck out to go back to his own room.

He heard a giggle from outside his door and a rather loud "shhh!" but didn't move from the bed, only settling back in under the covers. Whoever was outside his door with Tegan had had the decency to tell her to be a bit quieter; he might as well take advantage of their kindness and go back to sleep for a couple more hours.

The door flew open, smacking against the doorstop on the wall, and Mello sat bolt upright just in time to see Tegan running towards him in her purple pajamas, a large grin on her face. "Wake up! It's mornin'!" she informed him, hopping up on the bed next to him. "You hafta get ready to go to the aquarium!" To Mello's surprise, Matt trailed in after her, appearing as if he'd received a similar wake-up call perhaps only minutes before with his uncombed hair and the dark circles under his eyes.

"_After _your piano lesson," Matt reminded her with a yawn, and then turned to Mello. "I told her to let you sleep, but we decided it would be more fun to wake you up instead, right Tegan?" he said giving Mello a tired smile.

"Yep! Time to get up!" she tugged at his arm, encouraging him to get out of bed. "Carmen's makin' omelets for breakfast!"

"Alright, alright! I'm up!" he smiled at the excitement he found on her face; it might as well have been Christmas for how eager she was at the promise of going to the aquarium. "Just give me a second to get dressed, okay?" He didn't think Matt's parents would appreciate him going to breakfast in his boxers.

"Mkay!" she said and ran back to her brother's side.

"What kinda omelet d'you want me to tell Carmen to make for you?" Matt asked, and Mello shrugged.

"Whatever's fine. You know what I like."

"Alright, we'll be down in the kitchen. C'mon Tegan," he said and shut the door behind them.

Mello took a deep breath and braced himself before throwing the covers back and forcing himself out of bed. The chilly morning air brought goosebumps to his bare arms and the cold hardwood floor sapped the warmth out through the bottoms of his feet as he rushed to tug a hoodie on over his head, adding a pair of sweatpants and socks to fight off the less than desirable temperatures. He'd forgotten how much he hated the cold until he'd stepped off the plane the day before and the average low temperatures he was used to in Los Angeles had suddenly become the average highs in Boston. He was certainly not looking forward to the snow that would probably welcome them when they came back for Christmas.

He stopped off at the bathroom and continued downstairs, finding everyone seated around the smaller table in the kitchen rather than in the formal dining room they'd had dinner in the night before. "Good morning, Mello," Mrs. Jeevas said politely, giving him a tight smile.

"Good morning," he returned, instantly feeling embarrassed by how underdressed he seemed to be next to Matt's parents. While they appeared to already be dressed and ready for the day, Mello hadn't even bothered to brush his hair, having figured he could take care of it when he took a shower after breakfast like he normally did.

He sat down next to Matt, and Mr. Jeevas nodded to him from across the table in recognition, setting down his fork on the edge of his nearly empty plate and continuing what sounded very much like a work-related call. Though Mello smiled back, he wasn't sure that Mr. Jeevas actually saw as he firmly relayed a long list of instructions to the poor individual on the other end of the call.

A plate was set in front of him, and Mello turned to say "Thank you" to Carmen; she pursed her lips and glared at him in response, and he was reminded of how she had responded to him when they'd met in the airport. He'd meant to ask Matt what she had said to him in Spanish but had forgotten to bring it up after all the excitement surrounding dinner. It hadn't seemed so important after that, but now, he couldn't help but wonder.

Mello slipped his fork under the edge of his omelet, pulling apart the two halves to see what Matt had ordered for him: ham, cheese, and mushroom. It looked good, but with the way Carmen acted towards him, he hoped that was all that was in it.

Mr. Jeevas ended his call with a sigh and pocketed his cell phone. "It looks like I'm going to have to go into the office for a little while today."

Tegan's jaw dropped. "But dad, you said we could go the aquarium after my piano lesson!"

"I know, sweetheart, but something came up that I have to deal with. We'll go tomorrow. I promise."

She looked at him with sad eyes. "But you promised we'd go _today_…"

"I know I did," he said softly, "but you know I sometimes have to do things for work that I don't want to. Besides, you still have your birthday party tonight. Just think about how exciting that's going to be." Mello heard Mrs. Jeevas let out a short sigh and turned to see her lips set in a thin line as she slowly cut the remainder of her omelet into bite sized pieces. It could have been simply a coincidence, but the reminder of the party seemed to put her on edge. Mello could only assume she wasn't thrilled about the idea of several young girls spending the night in her pristine house.

"I guess…" Tegan said, still sounding let down by her father's sudden change in plans.

"No matter what, we'll go to the aquarium tomorrow, okay?"

"After I get my ears pierced?"

"Sure, if you want to do that first."

"Okay…" she said reluctantly.

"Alright. I promise," he smiled and got up from the table, kissing his wife goodbye before going to get ready to head into work. He left his plate on the table for Carmen to pick up.

"Hey, kiddo," Matt said, and Tegan turned to him, disappointment still written across her face. "Me and Mello ahre gonna visit my friend Ryan while you have your piano lesson, but how about we go to the beach after that? Mello's never seen the Atlantic before, y'know."

"Really?" she turned to Mello, wide-eyed.

He shook his head. "Never."

"It's amazin'!" she told him.

"Don't you think it's a little cold to go to the beach?" Mrs. Jeevas said, raising an eyebrow at Matt as she took a sip of her coffee.

Matt shrugged. "It's not like we're gonna go swimmin'."

"C'mon, mum! Pleeease!" Tegan begged, looking to her mother hopefully.

She paused for a moment before letting out a sigh. "Alright…" Mrs. Jeevas agreed reluctantly. "Just make sure you get back with plenty of time before the party," she added, glancing in Matt's direction to make sure he was paying attention. "I don't want your friends showing up before you do."

"Thank you, mum!"

"You're welcome, dear," she said but still didn't sound too happy about it. "If you're done with your breakfast, why don't you go get ready for your piano lesson? I'd like to talk to Mail about something."

Matt tensed next to him, and Mello looked back and forth between him and Mrs. Jeevas as Tegan thanked her mother again and ran off to get ready. He wasn't sure if she meant to talk to Matt alone or just without Tegan in the room, but when she didn't say anything about it, he decided to stay and finish his breakfast.

"So you still talk to Ryan then?"

"Yeah…?" Matt responded hesitantly, it coming out sharp and defensive. "He was one of my best friends in high school. Of course I still talk to him."

Mrs. Jeevas shrugged. "I just thought you would have been done with that Southie trash when you moved away to college."

"Is this what you really wanted to talk to me about? My choice in friends?" he demanded, gripping his fork just a little too tightly.

"No, it's not. I was just surprised to hear Ryan's name is all. What I wanted to talk to you about was how quitting smoking has gone," she continued levelly as if she were unaware of how what she had said had affected Matt.

He only looked at her for a moment, as if trying to see through to an ulterior motive. "It's been…goin' really good," he said, still eyeing his mother suspiciously.

"Really well," she corrected.

"What?"

"It should be 'It's been going really well.'"

"Whatever."

Mrs. Jeevas pursed her lips at her son's apparent lack of concern for proper speech before letting it drop and returning to her original line of inquiry. "You haven't started again, then?"

"No, I haven't. Did you expect me to?"

"Well…considering what happened before…"

"Look, it-" he started, his voice rising, but he stopped himself, thinking better of it. "I didn't have Mello before when I tried to quit," he said more calmly, taking hold of Mello's hand for emphasis. "I don't think I couldda done it without him."

"Hmm…" she took a sip of her coffee. "Then I suppose I should thank you, Mello," she said, addressing him for the first time since she'd wished him a good morning.

"Oh, um…no, no problem…" he said, surprised to have been brought into the conversation, a conversation that, up until then, he'd felt awkward sitting in on.

"Well," she turned to Matt again, moving to get up from the table, "you shouldn't have started in the first place. I may have had my doubts, but…I'm proud of you for quitting."

"You…you ahre?" Matt asked, obviously surprised.

Mrs. Jeevas turned back around to face him. "Of course," she said and continued to make her way out of the kitchen, leaving Matt gaping after her.

• • •

"You seriously have some affect on my parents," Matt chuckled. He glanced over at Mello from the driver's seat of his mother's grey Mercedes sedan. "With what my dad said last night and now my mum this mornin'…you're like the fuckin' parent whisperer."

"Huh?" Mello said, looking over to Matt before what he'd said finally registered. "Oh, um…yeah, I mean, I didn't really do anything though."

"Didn't do anythin'? You stood up to my dad; _that's_ doin' somthin'," he continued, apparently not noticing Mello's lack of interest in the topic. Matt had been like this since his mother had left the table at breakfast; Mello assumed he was just riding out the high of finally getting the recognition from his parents that he deserved. For that reason, and that reason alone, Mello had held his tongue instead of asking the question that had been on his mind all morning. Matt deserved this reprieve, and Mello was not about to be the one to take it away from him. "And you didn't even hafta say anythin' to my mum. Just _bein'_ there… I just don't think she wouldda been so…_understandin'_ if you wouldn't've been there, y'know?"

"Yeah, I guess," he said, looking out at the half-naked trees lining the street as they passed them, their colorful leaves having started to abandon them. It was one of the few things he actually enjoyed about it getting colder out.

"…Hey, ahre…ahre you okay?"

Mello whipped his head around to look at Matt, surprised. "Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

"You just seem kinda…I dunno…quieter than normal."

"I'm fine. Really," he insisted, thinking better of pointing out that Matt wasn't really acting his usual self either—Matt's near manic behavior was more akin to Misa's standard than his own.

"If you say so…" Matt mumbled, choosing not to press the subject but clearly not believing him either.

Mello let out a sigh, knowing he had inadvertently torn Matt away from his euphoria. He could only hope that the nostalgia of seeing Ryan again would bring it back. He didn't want Matt worrying about him unnecessarily. "How long till we get there?"

"Not too long," Matt said and glanced over at him expectantly. Mello could hear the '_so you better hurry up if you wanna tell me what's goin' on_' that followed just as clearly as if Matt had spoken it aloud.

He took a deep breath, letting it out through his nose. Might as well… "Matt, what did Carmen say to you yesterday at the airport?"

Matt's jaw clenched as he continued to stare ahead at the road in front of them. "Oh…um…" he stalled. "Y'know…not much."

"Not much…?" he repeated flatly. "Matt, when she saw me in the airport, she looked like she'd seen the devil himself. I mean, I know she probably didn't expect my scars, but her reaction was a bit over the top, don't you think?"

"I never said it wasn't…" Matt said quietly, and then, forcing a smile to his face, "Look, it doesn't matter what she said. She doesn't know what she's talkin' about."

"Matt, come on." He was starting to get annoyed. Whatever she had said to Matt, he could handle it.

"Oh, look. We're here," Matt said as he pulled into the small lot in front of a rather rundown garage; the faded red sign on the front of the building read 'Frank's Auto Repair.' He quickly parked and unlatched his seatbelt, moving to open the door, but Mello reached over him to pull it shut again.

"No, Matt. Tell me," he grit out, his face inches from Matt's as he continued to hold the driver's side door shut.

"No, you're right," Matt sighed, his hand falling from the door. "That's not really fair to you… You have every right to know." Slowly, Mello leaned back into his own seat, waiting for Matt to continue. "I just…I want you to know it's bullshit, and I don't think you should pay any attention to it…"

"Okay…?" he said hesitantly, watching as Matt absentmindedly ran his fingertips over the stitching in the leather that covered the steering wheel.

"When…Carmen saw you yesterday in the airport…the reason why she freaked out like that…" He paused, looking up from the steering wheel and over to Mello. "She said your scahrs were God punishin' you for the sin of bein' with another man. I told her that she didn't know you and had no right to say what she did…

"When we got home, I wanted to make sure she didn't say anythin' about it to you, so after Tegan took you to show you her room, I went back downstairs to find her, and I warned her not to. She said that you'd corrupted me, and I told her that she was wrong. If I'm corrupted, I was corrupted way before I ever met you—it's not like you were the first guy I'd ever slept with. And that _really_ made her fly through the roof. She talked a lot about how we were goin' to Hell and all that, and she kept talkin' over me when I tried to say anythin', so I finally told her to shut the fuck up. That got her to stop talkin' long enough for me to tell her if she wanted to play the religion cahrd, then she had no right to judge you or me or anyone else. I might not know a lot about religion, but I know it's 'love thy neighbor,' not 'love thy neighbor unless he's gay…' Then you and Tegan came in, and we just sorta…stopped," Matt finished, looking to Mello for a response, but Mello could only stare at him. "Mels…say somethin'…" he tried, taking hold of Mello's hand. "I'm sorry I didn't wanna tell you, but I know what you went through with your mum, and I know how hahrd it was for you to get to a good place with your religion again… I just didn't want what she said to hurt you…"

Mello let out a sigh, shaking his head slowly as he looked down at his and Matt's fingers laced together and back up at Matt. "You're an idiot."

A mixture of emotions crossed Matt's face from shock to anger to confusion as he opened and closed his mouth, looking for the words to respond. "What?"

"You're an idiot," he repeated, trying to hide the smile that was threatening to betray his composure.

"Wow, uh…no 'thank you, Matt, for standin' up for me' or 'thank you, Matt, for bein' so considerate and tryin' to spare me from havin' to hear all this'?" he said, sounding more than a bit miffed, but he kept his hand firmly in Mello's, all the same.

"Well…yeah, thanks for standing up for me I guess, but you didn't have to spare me from anything," Mello smiled softly. "I'm okay."

"Really? You're not even angry about what she said or anythin'?"

"I mean, it stings a little to hear people say stuff like that, but…I just don't really care anymore. I know where I stand in my faith and with you, and that's all that matters," he shrugged. "I'm more upset that you thought you had to hide that from me," he added, pulling his hand away from Matt's, feigning offense.

"I try to do _one_ nice thing…" Matt said, throwing his hands up in defeat and letting out a laugh. "C'mon, ready to go now or d'you have anythin' else you'd like to make me feel bad about?"

"Shut up. I wasn't trying to make you feel bad about it," Mello said lightly, stepping out of the car and shutting the door behind him. He took a few steps towards the garage and waited for Matt to join him at the rear of the car.

"First you call me an idiot and now you tell me to shut up… No wonder Carmen doesn't like you. Look how verbally abusive you ahre," he gave Mello a playful smirk as they walked up to the garage

"Jackass."

"You're not helpin' your case, Mels," Matt chuckled, ducking out of the chilly October breeze and into the garage. Mello followed him in, looking around the brightly lit garage. Three cars of various makes and models were lined up, each in some level of dismantle. Mechanics were bent over two of them, working on something under the hood. Mello tried to imagine Matt in a similar position, working on his car out in front of his house. It wasn't a bad image with his sleeves rolled up and his hair messy, a smudge of grease smeared across his cheek.

"Hey, Matt," Mello heard and looked up ahead to their left to see a portly middle-aged man with a blond buzz cut waving to them. "You lookin' for Ryan?"

"Oh, hey, Frank," Matt returned, heading in the man's direction. "Yeah, I thought he was workin' today?"

"He is. I think he went in to get some cahfee. Should be out in a minute," Frank said, and Mello had to suppress a smile. He'd only ever heard Matt pronounce 'coffee' with his accent, and it instantly brought back memories of Mello giving him a hard time about it when Matt had come to pick him up from work for a date. "So who's this?" Frank asked Matt, looking over at Mello.

"Oh, uh, right… Frank, this is my boyfriend, Mello. Mello, this is Frank, owner of the garage and the best mechanic in Bahstin."

"Oh, c'mon, kid. Your cahr's done. Ya don't need to suck up to me for pahrts anymore," Frank laughed out before Mello got a chance to respond.

"Matt, ya son of a bitch! Why didn't ya tell me you were in town?!" Mello turned to see tall man about their age walking towards them who he could only assume to be Ryan, a cup of coffee in hand. A wide grin stretched across his face.

"Where'd be the fun in that?" Matt returned with a smirk.

"Meh, whatevah. It's good ta see ya, man."

"You too," Matt returned as Ryan threw his free arm around him. They slapped each other on the back a couple times before they each took a step back.

"And I take it you're Mello, right?" Ryan said, turning to him and holding out his hand to shake.

"Yeah…" Mello hesitated, seeing the black grease that streaked the outstretched hand, and Ryan let out a laugh.

"Sorry 'bout that," he tried to wipe it off as best as he could on his coveralls and ran a hand through his dark shaggy hair to push it away from his face. "Ya get so used to it, ya don't even notice anymore."

"I can imagine." It was a lie, but he couldn't think of anything else to say. He couldn't imagine ever getting so used to it that he wouldn't notice the grimy substance covering his fingers like a second skin.

Ryan held out his hand again, and this time, Mello took it, Ryan's grip strong as he shook Mello's hand in one curt motion. "Good ta meetcha."

"Good to meet you too," he returned slowly, not quite sure what to make of Matt's high school best friend. He seemed to have a carefree nature, not unlike Matt's, but the almost arrogant air with which he held himself rubbed Mello the wrong way, putting him slightly on edge. "Hey, Frank," Ryan called to his boss, who had since gone back to work. "Goin' on break."

"Sure, sure," Frank nodded, barely giving them a second glance, as if he'd fully expected as much.

Ryan led them out of the garage, ducking under one of the partially closed doors. "So how the hell've ya been?" he asked, grinning over at Matt as he came to lean against the brick wall of the garage.

"Pretty good. Dealin' with classes…still workin' on my music… Y'know, the usual."

"Whadd'about you?" Ryan looked to Mello, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Oh, uh…I just started my first year at UCLA."

"Oh, yeah? Whatcha majorin' in?" he asked, setting his cup of coffee on the windowsill behind him and fishing a pack of cigarettes and a lighter out of the breast pocket of his dark blue coveralls.

"I haven't decided yet," Mello answered curtly, watching as Ryan lit a cigarette before holding the pack out towards Matt.

"Hmm?" Ryan offered, and Mello watched as Matt reached out absentmindedly, out of habit.

Seeming to have realized what he was doing, Matt dropped his hand back down at his side. "Naw," he shrugged. "Actually, I quit a couple months back."

"Really? Good for you, man!" Ryan congratulated him, blowing a stream of smoke out to the side, away from Matt and Mello. "Oh, uh, d'ya mind then?" He held up his cigarette, it held loosely between his pointer and middle fingers. "I know it must be hahd ta be around aftah quittin' and all. I can put it out if ya want."

"Naw, it's fine. It's…not a big deal."

"Alright," Ryan shrugged, taking another drag off his cigarette. "What made ya decide ta quit?"

Matt glanced over towards Mello, his lips parting to reply.

"Don't tell me he _made_ ya quit," Ryan barked out with a laugh, before Matt had the chance to explain. "Man, you ahre whipped!"

Mello only looked at Ryan, his brow knit together, as Matt insisted that he wasn't and that he'd quit of his own accord, even if Mello had helped. He watched as Ryan threw his hands up in a defensive gesture, still laughing. He couldn't believe this guy had been Matt's best friend in high school; Ryan seemed more like the type of guy Mello would have avoided at all costs when he had been in high school.

• • •

Tegan had her seatbelt off and the door open the second Matt pulled into a parking space. "Hey, kiddo. Wait for us," Matt said over his shoulder as he shifted the car into park.

"But you guys ahre so _slow_," she complained, standing outside the car with the door still open.

"Slow?" Matt questioned, throwing his seatbelt off. "I'll show you slow," and he was out the door chasing after Tegan when she took off towards the water. Mello followed after them, closing his own door and the door that Tegan had left open before crossing that small stretch of grass that separated the parking lot and the beach. He watched as Matt finally caught Tegan, picking her up and tickling her. She giggled madly, kicking her feet around and yelling for Matt to put her down. Mello couldn't help but smile at the sight.

"C'mon, Mello!" Tegan called out to him when Matt finally set her down.

"I'm coming," he called back, but when he didn't start walking any faster, Tegan ran back towards him, grabbing his hand and dragging him down the nearly deserted beach, closer to the water.

"Meet the ocean!" She threw her free hand out, gesturing to the choppy water, as she smiled up at him. "Whadda you think?"

"It's…" he started, scanning the expanse of water before him. It was nothing like he remembered the Pacific being, though he supposed that had a lot to do with the time of year. Instead of sunny skies and crystal blue waters, a grey sky hung overhead, the water rough with little white peaks visible farther out. A cold wind blew in off the water, making Mello pull his hoodie up around his neck a little tighter. "It's beautiful," he told Tegan, and he meant it. It had none of the welcoming conditions the Pacific had held the day they had gone to the beach with Misa and Kiyomi, but he loved it all the same. It had an almost peaceful feeling despite the crashing waves.

"It's even better when you can go swimmin'. But it's too late now. We'll hafta wait for summer," she said, sounding disappointed. She let go of Mello's hand and turned to Matt, who was watching their exchange from a few yards away. "Can I go look for seashells?" she asked him, and he nodded.

"Just don't go too far down the beach. Stay where we can see you."

"Okay!" she said, a huge grin on her face, and started down the shoreline.

Mello turned back towards the water, bending down as the tide washed over the shore. He placed his hand flat over the damp sand and let the water lick up around his fingers. It was frigid. He jerked his hand back and shook the excess water off, not expecting it to be quite so cold. He shoved his hands into his pockets to warm them but stayed bent by the water's edge, looking out over the Atlantic. He had no doubt that Tegan was right; it was probably a lot nicer when it was actually warm enough to swim. He wondered if they would ever come visit in the summer, and if Matt would insist on visiting Ryan again. Maybe he would stay behind with Tegan next time.

"We should follow her," Mello heard behind him and looked up from his crouched position to see Matt looking off in the direction Tegan had headed in. He hadn't heard Matt come up behind him.

"Oh…yeah, probably." He stood back up, walking next to Matt in silence as they watched Tegan run down the shore, stopping periodically to inspect a shell at her feet.

"Look," Matt said sharply, breaking the silence, "I don't know exactly why you don't like Ryan, and I don't care, but don't take it out on me."

Mello looked at him in surprise. "I'm not… And I didn't say anything about not liking Ryan."

"You haven't said much of anythin' since we left the garage…" Matt grumbled, and Mello knew he was right. It hadn't been on purpose; he just hadn't known what to say.

"Hey, I'm sorry… He just…wasn't what I expected, is all." In truth, he hadn't known what to expect. However, he had imagined Ryan to be a bit more like Matt, at least, the Matt he knew. Perhaps they had been very alike in high school—a possibility Mello found hard to picture. But then again, Matt had seemed to become increasingly loud and obnoxious as he had talked to Ryan, mirroring his old friend's cocky attitude. Maybe being around Ryan had made Matt easily fall back into his old habits, but if that were the case, Mello hated the idea of Matt being a pompous jerk, even if it had been long before he had ever met him.

"Yeah. Whatever," Matt mumbled, and Mello decided not to press the subject. He knew Matt was probably just disappointed that he hadn't gotten along with Ryan. He would snap out of it if Mello gave him time.

As they walked along the beach, hands shoved in their pockets to guard against the chill, Mello took in a deep breath, the salty ocean air filling his nostrils, and let it out in a quiet sigh. He glanced over at Matt, seeing his hard expression soften as he watched Tegan search for shells along the shoreline.

Up ahead, Tegan zigzagged across the sand, going from shell to shell. She would spot one, run to it, and bend down to inspect it, picking it up and running her small fingers over it to brush off the damp sand. When it failed to meet whatever requirements she was operating under, she would toss it to the side and move to the next that caught her eye. Mello watched with slight marvel, impressed by her selectivity. She wasn't simply collecting shells as Mello had thought she would when she asked Matt if she could go look for seashells; she was searching for something specific.

It was another ten minutes before she found what she was looking for. She kneeled down to look at a particularly large orange colored conch—one of the few shells Mello had been able to see in any detail from the distance he and Matt walked behind her. Hesitating a moment longer than she spent with any of the other shells, she turned it over in her hands a couple times but ultimately dropped it back to the sand. She moved to get back up to continue her search, but something else caught her attention just to her left. She picked it up, bringing it close to her face to inspect. "Matt!" she called, whipping her head around to look at them.

"What is it, kiddo?" But instead of answering, Tegan brought her discovery to the water's edge. She waited for the water to rush up to where she had squatted down and gently washed the sand off of the small object she held in her hands. She shook the water from her hands and dried them on her pants, running back towards them.

"Look!" she told Matt, holding out her palm. A flat rounded seashell, barely the size of a penny, sat in her hand.

"It's…cute," Matt said uncertainly, clearly not seeing what was so special about it. Mello couldn't blame him. The small white shell was quite unremarkable next to some of the larger, more impressive ones that Tegan had rejected.

"No, look at it up close!" she said excitedly.

Matt took the small shell from Tegan's palm and looked over it carefully. "Oh, wow! That is kinda cool. I don't think I've ever seen one like that before…" he said, and Mello leaned over to look at it more closely.

The seashell, plain and inconspicuous at first glance, had a rather interesting pattern of ridges on it. Instead of fanning straight out from the hinge or creating concentric rings like most similarly shaped shells Mello had seen in the past, the ridges traveled diagonally along the face of the shell, changing direction about three quarters of the way across to form a chevron-like pattern. It was the type of thing most people would overlook, the type of thing most people would never even take the time to discover.

"It's for you," Tegan said, and both Matt and Mello looked up from the shell to find a huge smile on her face.

"Naw… Tegan, you should keep it…add it to your collection," Matt told her softy, but she shook her head.

"I want you to have it."

Matt nodded, smiling down at her. He closed his fingers around the shell in his palm, dropping to his knees to pull her into a hug. "Thanks, kiddo. I love it."

"Matt…?" she said quietly when they pulled apart.

"Hmm?"

"I wish you were here more…"

A pained smile came to Matt's lips. "We'll be back for Christmas…" he offered weakly.

"I know… But what about all the time you're gone? You were gone all last summer…"

"I'm…I'm sorry, kiddo," he said sadly. "It's just…it's really expensive to travel across the country like that, and we were saving up to come home for your birthday and Christmas…" he explained, and she gave a slow, dejected nod. "I'm sorry…" Matt repeated, but Tegan's face suddenly lit up.

"What if I came and visited you?! Next summer! What if I visited you in California?!"

"Oh…um…well…" Matt hesitated. "I'll…I'll have to talk to mum and dad about it first…but I'd love that."

"Okay! I can't wait!" she beamed, unable to contain her excitement. "I'm gonna go look for more shells!" she told her brother and then turned to Mello. "Don't worry, Mello. I'm gonna find one for you too!"

"Oh, okay. Thanks," Mello said, surprised by the offer. He watched as Tegan gave Matt a quick hug and ran off again. Matt stood back up slowly. He opened his mouth to say something but seemed to reconsider, instead, starting to walk down the beach after Tegan again.

Mello followed without a word, waiting for Matt to say whatever it was he had to say. He didn't have long to wait, and after only a few steps forward, Matt blurted out, "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Mello said, a bit taken about by the sudden apology. "I think it would be great if Tegan could come stay with us for a little while in the summer."

"What?" Matt turned to him with a look of confusion. "Oh, um…no," he said hesitantly. "I meant…I meant I'm sorry about what I said earlier… I just…really wanted you and Ryan to get along, y'know?"

"It's okay. I know what you mean. I don't know what I would've done if you didn't get along with Misa. I would've felt like I had to choose between you and her."

"Yeah… And I know that's not really the case but… I dunno… I just felt like you didn't even give him a chance. I know he can come off as kind of an asshole, but he really is a great guy once you get to know him."

"I really did go into it wanting to like him, but then after meeting him… Maybe you're right… Maybe I judged him too quickly," Mello said, giving Matt an apologetic little half smile. "When we come back for Christmas, we'll have to hang out with him again."

"Really?"

"Yeah, absolutely," Mello nodded, taking Matt's hand in his own. Maybe he had judged Ryan too quickly, or maybe he had been right about him to begin with, but it no longer mattered. If this was important to Matt, he was willing to give it another try.

"Okay," Matt smiled over at him before turning back to look after his sister. "So…you're really okay with Tegan stayin' with us?" he asked, looking down at the small seashell he still held in his palm.

"Of course."

"Thank you," Matt said with a small sigh and tucked the shell away into the front pocket of his jeans, double checking to make sure it was secure.

• • •

Mello's eyes shot up from his computer in his lap to the closed door. He looked down over at Matt who was lying out on his stomach next to him on the bed, working on a remix of a song. Matt's thumb tapped out the rhythm of the song on the edge of his laptop as he listened to what he had so far, stopping abruptly as he went to make an adjustment; he clearly hadn't heard the crash through the headphones clamped firmly over his ears.

"Matt," he said and, receiving no response, poked Matt's shoulder with his foot.

"Hmm?" Matt pulled the headphones down to rest around his neck and turned to look over his shoulder up towards the head of the bed at Mello.

"I heard something crash downstairs. Should we go see if they need help?"

Matt shook his head. "If mum or Carmen need help, they'll come get us. Besides, I think mum just wants us to stay out of the way."

Mello gave a skeptical "Okay…" and Matt returned his headphones to his ears, turning back to his music. Mello tried to follow his lead, bringing his attention back to his own work: a loose outline for how he might want to expand one of his short stories.

They had been hiding out in Matt's old room since Tegan's friends had started showing up for the party, so far only coming out for pizza, cake, and to watch Tegan open her presents. While Matt had offered to help with the party, Mrs. Jeevas had quickly dismissed him and Mello, saying that she and Carmen had everything under control. Despite her claim, Mello couldn't help but feel that it was quite the opposite with seven surprisingly destructive eight-year-old girls having overrun her home. From what he had seen during his and Matt's trips downstairs, they'd already torn apart the living room and left a mess in the kitchen from dinner; he could only imagine what they were getting into now.

Mello let out a sigh, scrolling back up to the top of the Word Document to read over what he had so far. He proceeded through the outline, making this edit or that as he went, until he reached the end. He still wasn't anywhere near satisfied with it, but he wasn't even sure how serious he was about the idea to begin with. He'd never really considered writing a novel or even novella-length piece until Matt had suggested it the night before at dinner, but when he'd sat down with his laptop after Matt had said he wanted to work on something for the EP of remixes he was putting together, it was all Mello could think about.

So he'd opened a fresh Word Document and had started an outline. At the moment, it was only a list of ideas, notes to himself about alterations he would need to make to the original plot of his short story to turn it into a lengthier piece and extra scenes he might want to include. He only had one scene outlined in any detail: the ending where his main character, Naomi, makes the realization that the detective she's been working with isn't who she thinks he is.

Feeling content with the progress he'd made for the time being, he hit save and closed the document, shutting his laptop and letting it go into sleep mode. He set it on the floor next to the bed and crawled to the end of the bed to lie down next to Matt, resting his head on Matt's shoulder. He watched as Matt tweaked a few things in his song before pulling his headphones off. "You wanna hear what I have so fahr?"

"Sure." Matt handed him the headphones, and he slipped them on, waiting for the music to start.

It took him a moment to realize exactly what he was listening to. The tempo of the song was slowed down and largely taken over by an electronic beat, but when 'Speak for yourself, you paper tigers' echoed over the intro, the realization hit him. "You remixed 'The Resistance'?" Matt nodded, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Mello gave him a look of skepticism but continued listening, nonetheless. Having loved the original version, he wasn't sure how he felt about Matt's remix.

When Mello reached the end of what Matt had completed of the song, he pulled the headphones off, placing them next to the laptop on the bed. "So…?" Matt said, looking to him expectantly.

"I like it…I think."

"You think?"

"I'm just used to the original, is all. And I wasn't expecting you to use something from the playlist I gave you."

"Yeah, well, you don't have the _worst_ taste in music…even if it does remind me of the type of stuff I used to listen to in middle school," Matt smirked, baiting him.

"And? What exactly are you implying?"

"Nothin'," he shrugged. "I'm just sayin' I outgrew this type of music is all."

Mello shoved his shoulder playfully. "You're such a jackass sometimes," he said, pushing himself up off the bed and swinging his legs over the edge to get up.

"Hey, wait! Where're you goin'? You know I was jokin', right? I don't really think your music is juvenile or anythin' like that…"

"Yeah, I know you were joking," he said, turning back to give Matt a soft smile. "I'm hungry. I was gonna go see if there was any pizza left over. You want anything?"

"Naw, I'm good. But d'you really wanna risk the wrath that is my mum on a mission. She says she's got everythin' under control, but it's clear as fuckin' day that she's way uptight about it. Prob'ly bite your fuckin' head off if you get in her way."

"I think I can handle it," Mello said lightly, but although he knew Matt was at least partially joking, he couldn't help but feel that Matt was right.

"Alright," Matt shrugged. "Good luck."

"Thanks," Mello rolled his eyes, opening the door and slipping out into the hall. He quickly made his way to the stairs and down to the first floor, feeling on edge when he noticed just how quiet it was. It hadn't been quiet since Tegan's friends had arrived, which made the sudden silence weird, in and of itself. Not to mention, Mrs. Jeevas could be lurking anywhere…

He scoffed at the mental image. He may not have wanted to run into her, but that didn't mean she would necessarily bite his head off—either literally or metaphorically—as Matt had suggested. He pushed the thought from his mind as he reached the first floor landing.

A grey blur darted in front of him, and he swore loudly when he almost tripped over it. The cat hissed at him, its ears flattening against its skull and its fur standing on end, before fleeing up the stairs. He stood there for a moment, his heart beating heavily in his chest. Clearly Mrs. Jeevas wasn't the one he'd needed to keep an eye out for. Tegan hadn't been joking when she said that their cat didn't like people.

Having recovered from his run-in with the cat, he made his way through the empty living room and dining room. Noticing the light was on in the kitchen before he reached it, he braced himself for what would probably make for a very awkward conversation with a very stressed-out Mrs. Jeevas.

"Oh! Uh…hi, Carmen..." he said, surprised to find her sitting at the kitchen table.

Carmen glanced up from the magazine she was reading. "Oh…hello."

"I just…came down to see if there was any pizza left…"

"In the refrigerator," she told him, turning the page of her magazine idly.

"Right… Thanks…" He made his way to the refrigerator and found a plate of pizza covered in plastic wrap right in front. "So, uh, where are Tegan and her friends?" he asked, trying to make conversation.

"Downstairs in the playroom," she responded curtly.

Deciding against conversation, Mello took the pizza out, and realizing he'd need another plate if he wasn't going to have the rest, he begrudgingly turned back to Carmen. "Um…where are the plates?" She pointed to the cabinet above the microwave without a word. "Thanks…" He put two slices of pizza on a plate and placed it in the microwave, feeling Carmen watch him now that he had his back to her.

"What happened in the living room?"

"What?" He turned back to her after starting the microwave, surprised by her question.

"Earlier. I heard you yell. It sounded like you were in the living room."

"Oh, uh…yeah. The cat just surprised me. She, uh, doesn't seem to like me very much," he said, trying to keep his tone light.

"Hmm…well, she is normally a pretty good judge of character," Carmen said flatly, returning to her magazine.

Mello opened his mouth to retort but hesitated. He wanted to be the bigger person, to overlook her prejudice, but he couldn't help but feel the anger rise in his chest. After all, he'd never done anything to wrong her; he didn't deserve to be treated this way. "Look, Carmen," he said, trying to stay calm, "I know you don't like me—you've made that pretty clear." She sighed, looking back up at him with a bored expression. "And Matt told me what you said to him. I, uh…I don't really know what to say… I guess I know where you're coming from… I was raised Catholic, and uh, what you said sounded a lot like something my mother would've said. It took a long time to…figure out where I stand, but I still consider myself Catholic. I wholeheartedly believe in God…I just don't think He'd punish me for loving someone…for loving Matt. I'd do anything for Matt…" He looked at her, waiting for her to say something, praying that she would understand, but she only gave him the same stern look that she'd held since he'd started.

"Hey, uh…" Mello turned to see Matt standing in the doorway. "Everythin' alright in here?" Matt asked with a nervous laugh.

Carmen looked from Matt, to Mello, and down to her magazine. "Yes. Fine."

The microwave beeped, and Mello retrieved his plate. He didn't know how much of their conversation Matt had heard, but he was happy for the interruption.

"Okay, then…" Matt said with an uncertain nod. "I'll just, uh…yeah," he said, going to the refrigerator and pulling out a can of Coke. "You, uh…ready to go, Mello?"

"Yeah…" he said, sparing one last glance in Carmen's direction before following Matt out of the room.

"So…you had, uh…an eventful journey to the kitchen?" Matt asked when they had reached the stairs.

Mello snorted. "Yeah. First your cat attacked me and then your nanny-slash-maid did."

Matt stopped halfway up the stairs. "Abby _attacked_ you?" Matt asked. "And Carmen's not my nanny," he added when the rest of what Mello had said started to sink in. "She's Tegan's nanny now. I don't need a nanny anymore, thank you very much."

Mello couldn't help but laugh. "Sure, Matt. Remember that next time I cook dinner for you or have to clean the apartment."

"Hey, I think we split things pretty evenly…and it's not my fault everythin' I try to cook seems to spontaneously combust…"

"You're right," Mello said, and Matt raised an eyebrow at him. "It's best for everyone involved if you just don't try to cook."

"Thanks, Mels," Matt said flatly and started up the stairs again. "So what happened with Abby?"

"Oh, well…_attacked_ is kind of a strong word… I almost tripped over her, and she hissed at me and ran up the stairs. And…I guess the same thing kind of happened with Carmen…"

"What? You tripped over her?"

"What? No," Mello said with a laugh. "But just…the way she was acting…she wasn't even trying to hide the fact that she doesn't like me, and it just sort of…started to piss me off… So I told her how I felt…"

"Okay," Matt nodded. "I understand."

"Thanks," he said, and Matt gave him a smile over his shoulder before pushing the door to his room open.

Mello heard a meow the second Matt stepped into the room. The grey tabby was staring at them from Matt's bed. "I know," Matt said to the cat, sitting down next to it. It immediately got up to sit in his lap. "I heard all about Mello attackin' you."

"I did not attack her," Mello said, sitting down next to Matt. The cat glared at him, flicking its tail angrily. "It was more of a…mutual misunderstanding."

"See? Mello's nice," Matt told the cat, petting it softly. "You don't hafta be afraid of him." He turned to Mello. "Try pettin' her." Mello only looked at him with skepticism. "Go on." Mello let out a sigh in resign and hesitantly reached his hand out towards the cat only to have it let out a low growl, hissing at him and swatting at his hand for good measure. "Or not…" Matt said as Mello yanked his hand back.

"Call me crazy, but I get the feeling your cat doesn't like me," he said, giving up on the cat and taking a bite of his pizza.

"Yeah, I guess," Matt said. He opened his Coke and took a sip, continuing to pet the cat to try to get it to calm down. "So…" he started, trying and failing to hide the smirk that was slowly spreading across his face. "I hear you'll do anythin' for me?"

Mello stiffened. He had a bad feeling about where this was going. "What of it?"

"Oh, y'know…nothin' really," he shrugged. "I'll just hafta keep that in mind," he added with a sly smile.

"Great. Just great." He didn't care what Matt did to try to convince him. What he had said the night before still stood. He was not having sex when Matt's parents were right down the hall.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** So it's been…five months since I posted part 1… I'm so sorry for the incredibly long wait… I'm not gonna lie, I lost the motivation to write for a while there, but no worries, I will definitely be finishing this fic and plan to start another story once this one is finished. Hopefully, you won't have to wait another five months for the last part. Heh heh… ^^"

Meanwhile, while I've been on my little unplanned hiatus, Neon Hearts has started to be translated into French! A extra special thanks to Jilano for offering to translate Neon Hearts and to her beta, Caela-chan! :D To any French readers out there, I would seriously suggest checking out some of their other translations (and of course if you want to read Neon Hearts in French).

The last thing I want to mention is the shell Tegan gives to Matt. If you want to see an actual picture of that type of shell, it's called a Cross-Hatched Lucine. As someone who knows next to nothing about different kinds of seashells, I think it's pretty unique looking.

**A special thanks to the following reviewers:  
><strong>CatatonicVanity, Lotta Devon, brightnight003, VampireDoll666, MyBeautifulBlackHeart, BlOo KiSsEs, issagokurosaki, XxHeartlessKissxX, Awesomenessknowsnobounds, Abby, Evidence Of Rain, Death the Fairy, WammygirlZ, Anjiera-sama, Jilano


	32. Epilogue: Seashells (Part 3)

Matt: The Chase by Switchblade Dynamics  
>Mello: Poprocks and Coke by Green Day<p>

**Epilogue: Seashells  
>Part 3: Sunday<strong>

Mello shifted in bed, settling deep under the covers when he felt the chill of the morning air at his neck. He wasn't sure what time it was, but if Tegan wasn't bursting into his room to wake him, he would gladly stay in bed a little longer.

He heard something rustle in the room and hoped that awful cat hadn't managed to sneak in. Whatever grudge that thing had against him, he didn't want it anywhere near him when he was awake, let alone when he was trying to sleep and didn't have his bearings. But when he heard a soft sigh, he knew it wasn't the cat. He sat up slightly in bed, letting the covers fall away from him, to see who it was.

"Matt?" he said, seeing the redhead bent over the suitcase that was sitting on the desk, working by the light of the flashlight app on his phone. "What are you doing in my room?"

"Oh, sorry! Did I wake you up?" he asked, glancing over his shoulder.

Mello shook his head. "No, it's fine."

"And I don't really consider this my room anymore, but it definitely isn't yours," Matt chuckled. He shut the light on his phone off and turned to face Mello, leaning against the desk.

Mello looked around the room, still disoriented from sleep. What was he doing in Matt's old room?

"You fell asleep in here last night," Matt answered his unspoken question, and Mello sat up a little straighter in bed.

"I did?! Why didn't you wake me up?! What if your parents find out?"

Matt let out a laugh, shaking his head. "They're gonna be way more concerned with gettin' Tegan's friends up and out the door. They won't be comin' in here lookin' for us."

Mello relaxed a bit at this and nodded. He knew perhaps such a strong reaction had been unwarranted, but after only two days, he still felt like he had to tread lightly around Matt's parents. He didn't particularly relish the thought of them finding out he and Matt had slept together the night before when they had explicitly said that they didn't want them sleeping in the same room during their stay there.

"Hey, were you looking for something?" Mello asked, nodding towards the suitcase, remembering how he'd found Matt when he'd woken up.

"Oh, uh, no. I was packin'. I thought we should get everythin' together this mornin' before we leave for the aquarium. That way, we're not rushin' to pack everythin' at the last minute when we get back. I think I got everythin' besides like our toothbrushes and shampoo and stuff in the bathroom, but you should double check."

"Yeah, okay," Mello said, and Matt started to turn back to the suitcase, hesitating at the last second.

"Hey, um…d'you think the shells Tegan gave us will be safe in the suitcase, or should I put them in my carry-on? I mean, I wrapped 'em in a shirt to cushion them, but the luggage people ahre always really rough with things…"

Mello couldn't help but smile. Matt really did love that seashell Tegan had given him. "I think the suitcase might actually be better. There really won't be anything to protect them in either of our computer bags."

Matt nodded slowly, clearly still concerned about it. He let out a sigh and returned to the suitcase, double-checking that he hadn't forgotten anything.

Mello watched him in silence. He knew how hard it was going to be for Matt to leave Tegan, even though they'd be visiting again in two month's time for Christmas. They would be staying the majority of the three week long break there with Tegan and Matt's parents, leaving a few days before classes started back up again to stay with Mello's aunt and uncle so that he could visit his father before flying back to California. But even with the promise of a longer visit the next time, he knew it wouldn't make leaving any easier on Matt.

Mello had known since Matt had first told him about Tegan how much Matt cared about her. He knew from what Matt had told him that he had spent the better part of his teenage years helping raise her so that she got the attention he never received from his parents. But now having seen them together, Mello could see just how much Matt loved Tegan; it was almost tangible. And Mello knew that Matt would make a great father one day.

"Matt?"

"Hmm?" he offered, still finishing with the suitcase.

"Do you want kids?"

Matt froze instantly, his hands still positioned over the suitcase. "Uh…" he started, slowly turning to face Mello. "Yeah, I mean, eventually… Not any time soon. D'you?"

"Well… I do, but…" He wasn't sure why he was taken aback by Matt's question. He should have expected it, and a part of him had. What he hadn't expected was how strongly it made his doubts rush to the forefront of his mind.

"What…?" Matt asked softly, coming to sit on the edge of the bed, his hand resting on the duvet over Mello's leg.

"I just don't think I'd make a very good dad… I didn't really have the best role models, you know?"

"Neither did I…" Matt shrugged, giving Mello a soft smile. "I know it's not the same because Tegan's my sister, and even though I did everythin' I could for her, it wasn't like I was on my own but… When she was born, my motivation was to be there for her like my parents never were. I learned what _not_ to do from them."

"Yeah, I guess…" He knew Matt had a point, but still…

"Besides, I think you'd make a great dad."

"Really?"

Matt nodded. "Yeah," he said, leaning in to kiss Mello lightly. "Absolutely."

• • •

Mello glanced around the little store, remembering all the times Misa had dragged him into Claire's when they had been younger. There had been a time when she had been obsessed with the store and its jewelry, never missing an opportunity to look around inside, and with little else to do in their small town, they had found themselves at the mall and, consequently, in Claire's much more than Mello would have liked. Despite the fact that this store was in a different mall, in a different city, in a different state, it didn't look all that different from the one Misa had forced him to spend so much time in over the years.

"D'you think it's gonna hurt?" Tegan asked, looking up at her brother with wide eyes, fear finally finding its way into her voice.

"Uh…I dunno, kiddo. I've never gotten my ears pierced…" Matt told her uncertainly. His own careful demeanor was starting to slip, and Mello thought he might actually look more worried about it than Tegan. "It's okay if you change your mind and don't wanna do it."

"No, I…I still want to…"

She had been fine in the car, more excited than anything. She had talked incessantly about the earrings Matt and Mello had given her for her birthday and how she couldn't wait to wear them after her ears healed, while Matt had remained quiet during the ride there, nodding and offering encouraging smiles at the appropriate intervals.

Mello knew that Matt hadn't been too keen on the idea of Tegan getting her ears pierced from the beginning, and when he had asked why, Matt had only said that he thought Tegan was still too young. Even so, when Mello had found those starfish earrings and had suggested they give them to Tegan for her birthday, Matt had agreed without hesitation. And although Mello hadn't said anything about it, he couldn't help but think that, for Matt, it was less about Tegan being 'too young' to get her ears pierced and more about the bittersweet nature of seeing her start to grow up.

Matt let out a sigh. "Did you ask mum about it? She'd prob'ly have a better idea of what it's like…"

Tegan glanced over in her parents' direction. They were in the middle of going over the waiver that they would have to sign. She shook her head, looking back up to Matt.

"Um…I don't know if it's the same for everyone," Mello started, dropping down to Tegan's level, "but my friend Misa got her ears pierced when she was about your age, and she said it wasn't that bad. Just a quick pinch, and it's over."

"Really?"

"Mhmm," he nodded.

"See? It'll be fine," Matt said softly, and Mello wasn't sure if it was more to comfort Tegan or himself. "You just gotta be brave, okay?"

"Okay…" she said hesitantly. "I will."

"Are you ready, sweetheart?" Mr. Jeevas asked, coming over to where they were standing at the end of the counter.

She took a deep breath and nodded, her determination set.

• • •

"C'mon, Mello!" Tegan said, grabbing his hand and dragging him, along with Matt, forward, towards the shark and ray touch tank at the New England Aquarium, while Mr. and Mrs. Jeevas trailed several paces behind them. It hadn't taken long for the excitement of getting her ears pierced to shift to her excitement at going to the aquarium.

She had done well with getting her ears pierced, holding her brother's hand during the process. Once she was in the chair, it only took a minute, and the light pink gemstones she had picked out were sitting against her earlobes. She had shown them off proudly to her family, proclaiming that it hardly hurt at all.

"Uh… You guys go on," Matt said. "I'll catch up in a second."

"Okay," Tegan said without a second thought, letting go of Matt's hand and continuing to pull Mello towards the shallow touch tank. Mello glanced over his shoulder to Matt, throwing him a questioning look, but Matt only gave him a smile. He let out a sigh and let Tegan drag him to the edge of the tank.

"Look at them all," she said in marvel, looking out over the shallow waters of the simulated mangrove habitat of the touch tank. She placed her hand in the water, keeping her palm flat and waiting for one of the stingrays to swim over. Mello had to admit, the stingrays were pretty cool, and having never been to an exhibit like this, he followed Tegan's lead and lowered his hand into the tank with all the eagerness of a child.

"You're not afraid of them at all?" he asked as one of the rays approached them, taking note of the long barbed tail extending from its spine.

"Of course not," she told him as the ray glided under her hand. Mello lowered his hand as it moved past him, running his fingers over its back. If felt so smooth, almost like velvet.

"So are you gonna pet a shark if one comes over?"

"Mhmm," she nodded, scanning the tank. Two sharks swam around the mangrove roots some distance away, out of reach. The long slender sharks were a light brown color, with small darker spots along their backs and two large black spots on either side right behind their heads. A small plaque attached to the edge of the tank said that they were called epaulette sharks and were apparently perfectly harmless to humans.

Mello watched as one of them swam nearer, taking a long roundabout path through the mangroves before finally reaching the edge of the tank. Tegan had to stretch her arm out to reach it, her hand sliding gently over its side. "See?!" she exclaimed, turning to him with a huge grin on her face. "Just 'cause they look kinda scary doesn't mean that they're mean animals. They're actually really nice."

Mello could only look at her with amazement. She may have only been eight, but she held more wisdom than a lot of the adults he knew, and with this, he realized just how much adults could learn from children. From the way she saw things, easily spotting the unique pattern on the shell she had given Matt when most adults wouldn't have even taken the time to notice, to her open acceptance, not only of the slightly odd looking sharks but of Mello's own scarred appearance, Tegan kept surprising him. He only hoped she would retain some of her childlike views as she grew older.

"Don't you wanna pet the shahrks, Mello?" she asked, looking up at him. "I promise they're nice."

"I'm sure they are," he smiled and returned his hand to the water. The shark that had swam past Tegan had circled one of the mangroves and was coming back the other way, swimming right up next to the edge of the tank. It drifted along in front of Mello, and he brushed his hand over its sandpapery skin before it swam away.

It was no longer looked strange or a even bit scary, as Tegan had said; it was beautiful.

• • •

Fish of various sizes and colors swam past them through the vibrant coral reef habitat, visible through the expansive panes of glass of the Giant Ocean Tank exhibit, a large sea turtle gliding by above their heads, closer to the surface of the water. Tegan stood with her hands pressed to the glass, looking up at all the ocean life, amazed. A small yellow fish with thin blue stripes and a blue patch over its eye darted in front of her.

"Look, look! It's like the one in my room!" she exclaimed, glancing over at Matt and Mello next to her and back at her parents standing a couple feet behind her, a huge smile on her face.

"That one's your favorite, right?" Matt asked.

"Yep!" she exclaimed. Mello remembered her pointing it out to him when she had showed him her room after they'd first arrived on Friday. She had asked him which was his favorite, and even now, he still wasn't sure that he would be able to choose. They all looked so lifelike as if her room was there, in the New England Aquarium, rather than in the Jeevas' household.

"She really does love the ocean, doesn't she?" Mello commented, loud enough for Matt to hear him over the chatter of all the aquarium visitors, but quiet enough so that Tegan wouldn't hear him a few feet away. "You should've seen her in the touch tank room when the shark came over."

"I wish I would've," Matt sighed. "All the shahrks swam away after I came over. I just had to talk to my parents while I had the chance without Tegan overhearin'."

Mello's brow furrowed in confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"About Tegan stayin' with us in the summer. They said they'd think about it, but I don't wanna tell her yet and get her hopes up when they're prob'ly just gonna change their 'maybe' to a 'no,'" he told Mello with a sad smile.

"You never know. They might surprise you."

"Yeah, maybe," Matt returned his attention to the ocean scene in front of him, sounding none too hopeful.

"Woah! Look at that!" Tegan was pointing up to the left. Mello followed her line of sight to a slim, sand-colored shark with a dark blotch at the end of its rounded snout. It swam lazily overhead. "It's so cool!"

Mello had to agree with her. He'd never before realized just how majestic of creatures sharks truly were.

• • •

"I think that's everything," Mello said as he finished checking over the contents of the suitcase.

"Yeah…" Matt said, it barely above a whisper. He picked up one of his shirts and carefully unfolded it, revealing the two shells Tegan had given them: Matt's small white one and the slightly larger orange-tinted spiral shell she had found for Mello.

"I'm sure they'll be fine," Mello told him, softly running his hand over Matt's back. The redhead let out a ragged sigh and folded the shells back into the t-shirt, closing the suitcase and zipping it shut.

"D'you hafta go now?" Tegan asked sadly from her seat on Matt's bed.

"Yeah," Matt said, turning to give her a sad smile. "We don't wanna miss our flight… But we'll be back for Christmas… That's not that far away."

"I guess…"

"We should really get going…" Mello reminded Matt, who reluctantly nodded.

"Yeah…you're right." He picked the suitcase up and grabbed his computer bag off of the desk without another word, Tegan following close behind him. Mello took up his own carry-on in hand, trailing behind them.

Carmen was already at the door, ready to take them to the airport, Matt's parents speaking with her quietly as they waited. "All set?" Mr. Jeevas asked, turning towards them when he heard them coming down the stairs.

"I think so," Matt grumbled, struggling slightly when the corner of the suitcase caught one of the rails of the banister. It swung back and hit the side of his leg, causing him to stumble down the last couple stairs.

"I got it," Mello offered when Matt set it down at the end of the stairs to rub at the palm of his hand.

"Thanks."

"Ahre you okay?" Tegan asked, sounding worried as she tugged at Matt's hand to look at it.

"It's fine. Just a little red. See?" he said, holding his palm out for her to inspect.

"Are you sure you're alright, Mail?" his mother asked as they finished making their way over to the door.

"Yeah, really, I'm fine," he insisted, and his mother gave a short nod.

"Alright, well…" she started, looking over at her husband.

"There was something we wanted to discuss with you before you left," he finished for his wife.

"Okay?" Matt said hesitantly, clearly put on edge by these words. "What is it?"

"Well, we've talked about it, and we've decided to let Tegan stay with you for a couple weeks next summer."

Matt could only look at his parents, wide-eyed, as Tegan let out an excited squeal. "Thank you, thank you, thank you!" she told them, unable to contain her excitement as she bounced up and down, running to hug each of them in turn.

"You…you will?" Matt said, still in shock. His mother only nodded, a gentle smile on her lips. He moved forward slowly and pulled his mother into a hug. "Thank you," he whispered.

"You're welcome," she returned simply, though her words lacked none in sincerity, before Matt turned to his father, hesitating slightly as he threw his arms around him. Mr. Jeevas was slow to react, but returned the hug all the same, clapping his son on the back a couple times before he pulled away.

"Sorry," Carmen said, drawing everyone's attention to her, "but the time…"

"Right, you should probably get going," Mr. Jeevas said and turned to Mello. "It was good to finally meet you," he said, offering Mello his hand.

"Good to meet you too," he shook Mr. Jeevas's hand and was suddenly pulled into a hug by Mrs. Jeevas. He hadn't expected such a warm good-bye from Matt's mother, but he appreciated it all the same. For all the ups and downs their visit had held, he felt good about meeting Matt's family.

"You're gonna take care of your ears so they heal, right?" Matt was kneeling in front of Tegan, his hands on her shoulders.

"Uh-huh, I promise!" she said. "That way, I can wear my stahrfish earrings when you come back for Christmas!"

"I can't wait to see 'em," he said, pulling her into a tight hug. "I'm gonna miss you, kiddo."

"I'm gonna miss you too, Matt" she said, letting go of Matt reluctantly. She turned to her parents, "Can I go to the airport with Matt and Mello and Carmen? Please!"

"Sure," her father said, "but you can't hold them up once you get there. They're already running a bit late."

"Okay! I won't!" she promised, and they were finally out the door. The suitcase and their two carry-ons were thrown in the trunk of the car, and they pulled out of the driveway, Matt and Tegan in the back seat and Mello in the front with Carmen.

The drive there was punctuated by Tegan excitedly throwing out ideas for her stay in California next summer, Matt happily agreeing with all of her suggestions. Mello was content simply to listen to their conversation from the front seat, already looking forward to Tegan's visit.

It wasn't until they were nearly to the airport that Carmen said anything, and when she did, it was in such a hushed tone that Mello almost missed it entirely. "Not that my opinion matters," she said, glancing in the rearview mirror to make sure that Tegan and Matt were still busy discussing everything they'd do next summer, leaving her conversation with Mello semi-private, "but I do see how much Matt cares for you, so even though I don't agree with your relationship…I'm happy to see him in such a loving relationship."

He could only look over at Carmen for a moment, unsure that he'd heard her right. "Thank you," he told her, still taken aback by her words. "And your opinion does matter… It means a lot to me for you to say that." And it did. He knew how hard it must have been for her to admit that, and he was glad that she had.

She only pursed her lips in response, staring straight ahead at the road as the airport came into view on the right. Mello couldn't help but smile to himself. It was more than he'd ever hoped her to give.

"Mello!" Tegan called from the back seat, urgency in her voice.

"What's wrong?" he asked, turning to look back at her.

"We're almost to the airport, and you never told me what's your favorite fish in my room!" He had to think about it for a moment. "Hurry!" she said as they made their way through the maze-like internal roads of the airport towards the drop-off area of their terminal.

"I think…the shark over your desk is my favorite," he said, and a grin spread across her face.

"Okay," she smiled. "I'll name it Mello then!"

"You…will?" he asked, surprised and somewhat flattered by her offer.

"Uh-huh!"

"Wow, um…thanks," he said as they pulled up to the drop-off location.

"Mkay, we gotta go, Tegan," Matt said, unbuckling his seatbelt.

She unlatched her own seatbelt and threw her arms around his neck. "Bye, Matt!"

"G'bye, kiddo," he told her, hugging her tight to his chest. He reluctantly let her go and slid out of the car.

Mello turned to Carmen. "Thanks for the ride, and…thanks for earlier." She nodded in response, and assuming this was as much of a farewell as he was going to get, he looked to the back seat. "Bye, Tegan," he said over his shoulder opened the door, going to help Matt with their things.

"Wait!" Tegan called out, and she was suddenly out of the car, following Mello to the trunk where Matt already had their suitcase out, waiting for him. Mello turned to her, and she threw her arms around his waist, her head against his chest. "I didn't get to give you a hug good-bye."

As soon as she started to back away, he dropped to her level, pulling her into a proper hug. "Well, I'm glad I didn't miss that."

She ran over to Matt, giving him another quick hug before returning to the car and rolling down the window. "Bye!" she called to them, waving furiously as they moved to curb. They waved back as Carmen drove away, and Mello was surprised by just how sad he was to leave. He hadn't known what to expect from visiting Matt's family and had honestly been more than a bit nervous to meet them, but now, even though he was excited to return to his life with Matt in California and all it held for them, he knew he would truly miss Tegan.

Matt let out a sigh next to him, and Mello turned to see Matt watching as the car disappeared from view, sadness written across his face. Mello slipped his hand into Matt's, lacing their fingers together. "Ready?" he asked, give Matt an encouraging smile.

"Sure," he nodded.

Mello let silence fall over them as they headed into the airport. He knew that telling Matt that they would be back soon enough would do little to comfort him and would only draw out the process of saying good-bye for him, while changing the subject would discount its importance. Matt would talk about it if and when he wanted.

They had already checked their suitcase and had started off in the direction of Security before Matt said anything, and when he did, Mello was a bit taken aback by what came out of his mouth. "Remember how you told Carmen you'd do anythin' for me?" he asked hesitantly.

"…Yeah?" Mello responded skeptically, wondering what exactly Matt was going to suggest. A number of things went through his head, all of which he wasn't entirely sure that he was comfortable with. He'd known he'd regret saying those words…

"Well…I was just wonderin' if you maybe wanted to stahrt workin' on another song with me soon?" he said, looking over to Mello expectantly.

"Oh, um…" he started, surprised when Matt didn't ask what he had been sure he was going to. "Yeah, I'd love to."

"Really?"

"Yeah, why wouldn't I want to?"

"I dunno…" Matt shrugged. "You just seemed really hesitant."

"Oh…I just…I thought you were gonna ask something else…"

"What did you think I was gonna ask?" he asked, clearly curious, and Mello could tell where Matt's mind went by the devious grin that appeared on his face, which only made him more hesitant for the sole reason that Matt's apparent dirty thoughts weren't unwarranted.

"I…thought you were gonna say something about the Mile High Club…" Mello mumbled, and Matt immediately started laughing.

"Well, uh…I wasn't _going to_, but…now that you bring it up…" Matt said nonchalantly and leaned in closer, a sly grin on his face. "You wanna?"

"I didn't mean I… I just… I-I don't…" he sputtered, feeling his face grow warm. He hadn't meant to suggest it, but having inadvertently done so, he couldn't help but wonder if it were really such a bad idea. He looked over at Matt sheepishly, certain his face was bright red. "Maybe… I'll think about it."

A large grin spread across Matt's face. "I'll take a 'maybe.'"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **_Neon Hearts_ has finally come to an end… It seems so weird to me after working on it over the course of the past two years for it to be done… It's quite bittersweet, I think :') Along the way, many of you have asked if there will be a sequel. Sadly, at the moment, I'm not planning on writing a sequel. This does not necessarily mean that I will never ever write a sequel; it just means that it won't be the next story I write. However, if I ever decide to write a sequel or do the MisaxTakada spin-off I have mentioned, I will add a chapter to this story with the title "Announcement: sequel posted" or something to that effect so that everyone who is subscribed will be alerted of what the hypothetical sequel is called and how they can find it.

To those who might be interested, the next major story I'll be writing is titled _Favorite Worst Nightmare_. While I have the basic idea for the story already in mind, I still have to do the outline and figure out all the details, so I probably won't be starting to post for that for a few weeks.

Lastly, thanks to those who have read, subscribed, favorited, and reviewed and to those who have said that they've reread this story multiple times (seriously, I'm still stunned when people tell me that they've went back and reread several times)! It really means the world to me that you all have taken the time to read my story! A special thanks to my lovely beta, foreverunloved, and again, thank you to Jilano and Caela-chan for translating _Neon Hearts_ into French.

That's all for now. Again, thank you for sticking with _Neon Hearts_ till the end :3

With much love,  
>Amour en Rayures<p>

**A special thanks to the following as well as any future reviewers:  
><strong>WhatsWithYourName, VampireDoll666, CatatonicVanity, issagokurosaki, Jilano


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